human relations ch 8

The eight intelligences were proposed by...

Howard Gardner

areas of emotional intelligence: self-management

ability to hold oneself and not overreact when something is bothersome

Emotional intelligence

ability to see and control your own emotions and understand the emotional states of other people

areas of emotional intelligence: self awareness

ability to see yourself realistically, without much difference between what you are and how you assume others see you

dealing with anger: work on developing...

and using conflict management skills

common characteristics in all games-

at least one insincere statement per game payoff of some kind to at least one player

rational mind:

awareness of reality, which allows you to ponder and reflect

assertiveness cont.

based on self rights and the rights of others important to use when one senses that someone is trying to take advantage of him or her

personal competence

being self-aware, motivated, and self regulated

4 categories of scripts

cultural family religious gender

eight intelligences:

eight separate areas in which people put their perceptiveness and abilities to work

social competence

empathy for others combined with sensitivity and effective social skills

areas of emotional intelligence: relationship management

enables an individual to communicate effectively and build meaningful interpersonal relationship

games

encounter between two people where there's a payoff for the one who starts the game, at the expense of the other player

ninth intelligence--religious and spiritual understanding

existential intelligence and able to tackle deep questions about human existence

passive-aggressive behavior-

expression of an understated rage

dealing with anger: examine your anger to...

find the inner causes

second-degree games are-

harmful and cause danger

spatial reasoning intelligence

has a knack for seeing how elements fit together in space-can be expressed by building

naturalist intelligence

has understanding of nature and natural processes

approaches to improve EI-carefully observe those with:

high social competence and social awareness skills you would like to attain

aggressiveness:

hurting others and putting them on the defensive--when a person's rights are threatened, they can be passive or aggressive

scripts

in relationship transactions, a psychological script like a movie or theater script, with characters, dialogue--used to explain some important facts about human behavior

defensiveness:

inappropriate reaction to others behavior as though it was an attack

creating a distraction (defensive behaviors)

introducing a point or fact that is irrelevant to the issue at hand--called using a red herring

counterattack-

involves responding with an attack when felt under attack

movement intelligence

kinesthetic- Michael Jordan (other top athletes) - using body to solve problems

intrapersonal intelligence

knowledge of yourself--able to examine their own life and know there strengths and weaknesses and fears and using those to your advantage

8 dimensions of intelligence

language spatial reasoning naturalist intrapersonal interpersonal movement music math/logic

emotional competence:

learned capability based on emotional intelligence--results in outstanding performance at work and important factor for understanding EI (emotional intelligence)

sources of defensiveness-

low self-esteem and fear

music intelligence

musicians as adults, kids just make different noises, can read/play music

Emotional mind:

powerful, impulsive, sometimes illogical awareness; an ability to perceive emotions

anger comes up when you

process events and not the nature of the event, is convinced others deliberately caused trouble, interprets the behavior of others-breaking the rules of appropriate behavior

first-degree games are

quite harmless

intelligence

reasoning ability, as measured by standardized tests (not best way)

approaches to improve EI- develop...

relationship management skills

third-degree games-

result in physical injury

approaches to improve EI

review knowledge of self-awareness

math and logic intelligence

scientist and mathematicians use logic for puzzles and stuff

approaches to improve EI- improve...

self-management skills

areas of emotional intelligence: social awareness

skills that allows a person to understand the politics of the workplace and interpret nonverbal communication effectively (helps interpret nonverbal communication effectively

assertiveness:

standing up for one's rights without threatening the self-esteem of the other person

pointless explanations (defensive behaviors)

stems form a belief that the other person has been on the attack only because that person doesn't understand

steps to reduce defensiveness

take time out to get refocused, renewed perspective use "I statements" avoid absolute words like always and never make positive assumptions about others involved learn to separate your work from who you are

anger produces results...

that are negative and damaging

games-emotion-based activities...

that don't really help any of the players

dealing with anger: examine specifically

the damage your anger has caused

anger is potentially...

the most harmful of all emotions

interpersonal intelligence

understand and deal with the world of people--usually in the position of power, speakers and good at communication

language intelligence

verbal intelligence, gifted writers poets songwriters and speakers, tests usually tap into this

games cause damage to organization

wasted time lowered moral decreased output

dealing with anger: get in touch with...

what types of things help calm you down

dealing with anger: learn to recognize

your own flash points