human relations ch 8
The eight intelligences were proposed by...
Howard Gardner
areas of emotional intelligence: self-management
ability to hold oneself and not overreact when something is bothersome
Emotional intelligence
ability to see and control your own emotions and understand the emotional states of other people
areas of emotional intelligence: self awareness
ability to see yourself realistically, without much difference between what you are and how you assume others see you
dealing with anger: work on developing...
and using conflict management skills
common characteristics in all games-
at least one insincere statement per game payoff of some kind to at least one player
rational mind:
awareness of reality, which allows you to ponder and reflect
assertiveness cont.
based on self rights and the rights of others important to use when one senses that someone is trying to take advantage of him or her
personal competence
being self-aware, motivated, and self regulated
4 categories of scripts
cultural family religious gender
eight intelligences:
eight separate areas in which people put their perceptiveness and abilities to work
social competence
empathy for others combined with sensitivity and effective social skills
areas of emotional intelligence: relationship management
enables an individual to communicate effectively and build meaningful interpersonal relationship
games
encounter between two people where there's a payoff for the one who starts the game, at the expense of the other player
ninth intelligence--religious and spiritual understanding
existential intelligence and able to tackle deep questions about human existence
passive-aggressive behavior-
expression of an understated rage
dealing with anger: examine your anger to...
find the inner causes
second-degree games are-
harmful and cause danger
spatial reasoning intelligence
has a knack for seeing how elements fit together in space-can be expressed by building
naturalist intelligence
has understanding of nature and natural processes
approaches to improve EI-carefully observe those with:
high social competence and social awareness skills you would like to attain
aggressiveness:
hurting others and putting them on the defensive--when a person's rights are threatened, they can be passive or aggressive
scripts
in relationship transactions, a psychological script like a movie or theater script, with characters, dialogue--used to explain some important facts about human behavior
defensiveness:
inappropriate reaction to others behavior as though it was an attack
creating a distraction (defensive behaviors)
introducing a point or fact that is irrelevant to the issue at hand--called using a red herring
counterattack-
involves responding with an attack when felt under attack
movement intelligence
kinesthetic- Michael Jordan (other top athletes) - using body to solve problems
intrapersonal intelligence
knowledge of yourself--able to examine their own life and know there strengths and weaknesses and fears and using those to your advantage
8 dimensions of intelligence
language spatial reasoning naturalist intrapersonal interpersonal movement music math/logic
emotional competence:
learned capability based on emotional intelligence--results in outstanding performance at work and important factor for understanding EI (emotional intelligence)
sources of defensiveness-
low self-esteem and fear
music intelligence
musicians as adults, kids just make different noises, can read/play music
Emotional mind:
powerful, impulsive, sometimes illogical awareness; an ability to perceive emotions
anger comes up when you
process events and not the nature of the event, is convinced others deliberately caused trouble, interprets the behavior of others-breaking the rules of appropriate behavior
first-degree games are
quite harmless
intelligence
reasoning ability, as measured by standardized tests (not best way)
approaches to improve EI- develop...
relationship management skills
third-degree games-
result in physical injury
approaches to improve EI
review knowledge of self-awareness
math and logic intelligence
scientist and mathematicians use logic for puzzles and stuff
approaches to improve EI- improve...
self-management skills
areas of emotional intelligence: social awareness
skills that allows a person to understand the politics of the workplace and interpret nonverbal communication effectively (helps interpret nonverbal communication effectively
assertiveness:
standing up for one's rights without threatening the self-esteem of the other person
pointless explanations (defensive behaviors)
stems form a belief that the other person has been on the attack only because that person doesn't understand
steps to reduce defensiveness
take time out to get refocused, renewed perspective use "I statements" avoid absolute words like always and never make positive assumptions about others involved learn to separate your work from who you are
anger produces results...
that are negative and damaging
games-emotion-based activities...
that don't really help any of the players
dealing with anger: examine specifically
the damage your anger has caused
anger is potentially...
the most harmful of all emotions
interpersonal intelligence
understand and deal with the world of people--usually in the position of power, speakers and good at communication
language intelligence
verbal intelligence, gifted writers poets songwriters and speakers, tests usually tap into this
games cause damage to organization
wasted time lowered moral decreased output
dealing with anger: get in touch with...
what types of things help calm you down
dealing with anger: learn to recognize
your own flash points