Human Sexuality Exam 2

Intersex

(ambiguous gender, mixed gender) refers to hormonal & genetic variations in a person's sex, those with mixed male and female reproductive anatomy, this term is for those who feel that "disorder" is demeaning. LOOK AT CHART!

Bisexuality

(bi, pansexual)-when we form our primary loving and sexual relationships with people regardless of sex; physical and emotional attraction. -A mingling of sexual feelings, behaviors, and romantic inclinations that does not easily gel with society's categories of typical sexuality."

Attribution Theory & the role of behavior as applied to intimate relationships: (part 1)

- As humans, we have a need to explain why people do what they do (especially important in relationships) -•We often ATTRIBUTE certain qualities to a person based on that person's behavior. •We often EVALUTATE our partners and our relationships based on these attributions. - We explain people's behavior by attributing an underlying internal or external cause for that behavior. -Internal Causes: Your fault, you don't care about being on time •External Causes: running into traffic which causes them to be late

Circles of Intimacy

- Circles of Intimacy: a way to illustrate the intimacies in our life - Inner circle: ourselves - Next circle: our closest friends/family that know everything about us - Next circle: other friends and family that we are still open with - Next circle: casual friends that we still talk to - Next circle: classmates and others that we hardly know - Next circle: familiar faces - we may not even know their names - Outer circle: people we don't know at all

Causes of Gender Variation and Transgender/Intersex Conditions -

- Current data suggests that the variations of people who are transgender (and the variations of some who are intersexual) are the result of a deviation in the typical development of the fetal brain, endocrine system, and reproductive system - This deviation could be due to differences in proteins that control the expression of genes throughout pregnancy and influenced by organic and environmental influences - In the simplest of terms, typical development of the male/female brain, endocrine, and reproductive systems are in sync and develop into a sex-congruent fetus; but in people who are transgender, these three areas form incongruently at the different stages of fetal development

Heterosexism & Heterosexist Assumptions

- Discrimination in favor of heterosexuals and against LGBTQ individuals - Assumption that everyone is or should be heterosexual and, in some cases, the belief that heterosexuality is superior to other forms of sexual orientation and expression

Tips for making relationships work:

- Don't make assumptions - Use healing words - Pick your battles - Avoid gunny-sacking - Don't use sex as a weapon or a reward - Make time to really listen - Don't see failure in a situation as failure of the relationship - Keep your sense of humor and have fun

Attribution Theory & the role of behavior as applied to intimate relationships: (part 2)

- Evaluate behavior to explain qualities, use qualities to explain behavior: behaviors shape our perceptions - When presented with a positive occurrence, happy couples credit their partners internal qualities - When presented with a positive occurrence, stressed-out couples credit external forces - When presented with a negative occurrence, happy couples credit external forces - When presented with a negative occurrence, stressed-out couples credit their partners' internal qualities

Heterosexual Privileges & Examples

- Living without ever having to think, face, confront, engage or cope with marrying, being affectionate in public without threat or punishment, not questioning your normalcy, living with your partner openly and without fear, dating the person of your choice in your teen years, receiving validation and support from your religious/spiritual community, receiving social acceptance from neighbors, colleagues, and new friends, etc. -Adoption and legalized marriage typically favor heterosexual couples

Challenges of being Transgender

- Often denied appropriate healthcare - Danger of losing their jobs, homes, and families - More likely to be murdered than other people - May also face legal issues - Gender Identity Disorder

Strategic Listening & Barriers

- People can communicate on one or more of four different levels at any given time: facts, meaning, feelings, and intention - Sometimes we don't understand because we're not hearing at the level(s) that are intended - Barriers include your non-verbals, stress, heightened emotions, your behavior, your personality, and your listening skills -STUDY THIS HANDOUT

Circles of Intimacy Model Concepts

- The feelings of closeness and connectedness that can be experienced between two people -People can move around in the "circle"

Agape

- This is the kind of love people have for causes; ex: love working for a foster care, but it doesn't mean you love those kids, you love your faith, your classes, your friends. Altruistic love that combines eros and storage (chaste, patient, altruistic)

Phenomenology's Application to Relationships

- Very important concept in relationships. - Two of the biggest challenges in building and maintaining good relationships include: -Fully understanding how our partner sees things -Helping our partner to understand how we see things

Conditions of Intimacy: 1) Time Together

- We are more intimate with people we spend more time with and less with those we do not. - A certain intimacy develops between people in close proximity over time, leading to a strong emotional bonding (e.g., housemates, members of a team, families, co-workers).

The Kinsey Scale is..

-A classification system used to gauge a person's sexual orientation at a given time. -Scale of sexual orientation - 0 (exclusively heterosexual behavior) to 6 ( exclusively homosexual behavior) scale

Sexual Fluidity

-A person may change from other-sex attractions to same-sex attractions throughout life. -•Many factors influenced sexual interests and expression -Sexual chance, opportunity, practical necessity; political values, and emotional considerations. •Women are more likely to see their sexuality as subject to chance based in specific relationships, choices, and circumstances. •More studies needed, especially on female sexuality and sexual fluidity.

Bisexuality

-A person who is sexually and emotionally attracted to both sexes to varying degrees. - Because it doesn't fit neatly into the binary model, bisexual responses are often either ignored or lumped into the homosexual category for interpretation. • Initial confusion • Finding and applying the label "bisexual" • Settling into the identity • Managing sexual fluidity

Styles of Love (Lee)

-Agape -Mania -Pragma -Ludus -Storge -Eros

The "Coming Out" Process

-Awareness of being different -Awareness of homosexual feelings -First context of what being gay means -First same-sex experience -Self-identifying as gay or lesbian -Identifying to others as gay or lesbian -Commitment

Key points in Relationship Behavior

-Certain behaviors can maintain & strengthen relationships. Examples: listening, touching, being on time, complimenting -A person cannot choose to experience or avoid feelings but CAN choose the response to those feelings. Examples: anger, excitement, disappointment, shame, happiness -People continuously make choices about their behavior that influences their relationships. Examples: respond or ignore, remember or not, push or retreat -Some behaviors evoke stronger feelings than others. Examples: voice volume, save/give/throw away

Effect of Relationship Health on Self-Esteem

-Continuum goes from 0-100; typical range is between 30 and 60 -Higher self-esteem correlates with a higher number on the continuum and a happier relationship -Lower self-esteem correlates with a lower number on the continuum and a less happy relationship -The key is to look at the self-esteem of you and your partner, self-esteem can be a predictor that you are headed for trouble.

The victimization of LGBTQ Youth & the consequences of a supportive environment

-Excessive abuse has a deleterious effect on gay and bisexual youth, who are significantly more likely to think about, attempt, and commit suicide than their straight counterparts. -When lgbtq young people experiences this victimization in school, they have much higher health & adjustment problems. -When lgbtq young people were not victimized, they have higher self-esteem and life satisfaction as adults.

Guest Speaker

-Guest Speakers (Overall: people who are transgender say that in the long run they are happy and would not take back their "change" for anything)

Sabotage

-Paying special attention to behaviors that can be interpreted in negative ways -Looking for behaviors to confirm that ending the relationship is the best or only choice

Love

-People have different styles of love and different opinions/perceptions of what love is. - The bottom line: love is a personal thing; there is no universal definition. -Textbook definition: love is made up of three components- intimacy, passion and commitment

What we do know/do not know about Bisexuality..

-Women who are bisexual find it easier to fall in love with another women than it is to have sex with another women -Men find it easier to fall in love with another women, but have sex with a man -We don't know how bisexuality differs among men and women, and we should not assume that studies of males always apply to females and vise versa.

Sexual Orientation

-the extent to which individuals are oriented towards the same sex, or different o Affectional Orientation (emotional; personal connections) o Erotic Orientation (sexual desire) o Romantic Orientation (love) -A person's predisposition or inclination regarding sexual behavior, emotional attachment, or physical attraction to one or both sexes; With whom do we form our primary loving and sexual relationships

"Coming Out" usually occurs..

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The "Coming Out" First Level

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The "Coming Out" Model's Limitations

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Preparing for Gender Affirmation Surgery for adults:

1. Counseling: psychological screening and therapy 2. Real Life experience: living 1-2 years as the other gender 3. Referral Letter 4. Hormone Replacement Therapy: promoting development of secondary sexual characteristics of other gender 5. Surgery

Ludus

A game-playing style of love (playful, casual, carefree & careless, "nothing serious" love)

Transgender

A general term for variations of gender expression, including female and male impersonators, transexuals, and drag kins and queens. It is a deep sense or experience that one's sex at birth & one's gender identity are different, don't match, or are not complete, or are discordant

Conditions of Intimacy: 4) Intimacy & Exclusivity

A special, intimate bond may form between people that is unlike any other; this bond may be with family, a partner, or someone with whom we have experienced something unique or special (e.g., sharing in an event, experiencing a disaster or crisis together, having identical hobbies).

Phenomenology

Acknowledgement of the fact that we all see things in our own way" We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are" Anais Nin

"Coming Out"

Acknowledging to oneself and others that one is gay or lesbian.

General age when a person becomes aware of his/her Gender Identity

Around ages 2 and 3 years old

Conflict Resolution Tips: 4) Use descriptive speech

Arouses minimum uneasiness and defensiveness because it describes specific, concrete behaviors or events without evaluating them. Evaluative or judgmental communication increases defensiveness. Choosing evaluative words to describe behaviors or beginning your sentences with "You should...." or "I would...." or "Why did you...." usually engender a defensive reaction. Separate the people and the problem. Say things like "I am feeling like this right now, or sometimes when we get into a disagreement I feel as though I am going to lose, we aren't putting the blame on others

Attribution

Attributing a quality to a person after evaluating a behavior, and then using that quality to explain further behaviors; explaining people's behavior by attributing an underlying cause for that behavior. Is the process by which individuals explain the causes of behavior and events

Heterosexual Privilege

Benefits derived automatically by being (or being perceived as) heterosexual that are denied to gays, lesbians, bisexuals, queers and all other non-heterosexual sexual orientations -Marrying (in every state) -Living without being judged -Social Acceptance

External Homophobia

Comes from people outside of the homosexual community and is directed towards the lgbtq community. Being predigest against lesbian/gays (ex. not giving someone a job, not letting someone in your home)

Internal Homophobia

Comes from within an individual who has in some way been involved in homosexual behavior and produces feelings of remorse, condemnation, shame, and self-repulsion. Taking it out on themselves (ex. suicide, depression)

Storge

Companionate attachments or nonsexual affection (companionate, gradual, "peaceful & enchanting affection") This is more of an intimacy that is built over time. Ex: older couple sitting on the porch finishing each others sentences.

Heterosexism

Discrimination in favor of heterosexuals and against LGBTQ individuals. Creating social structures in which heterosexuality is privilege, powerful, normal, expected.

Constructive Relationship Elements

Elements that provide strength and stability in relationships; Building up the relationship

Destructive Relationship Elements

Elements that tend to be harmful to relationships; tearing down the relationship. People often assume that their personal lists, both constructive and destructive, are identical to everyone else's.

Conflict Resolution Tips: 3) State your own positive intent

Give people a good reason to listen to you. Before you speak, ask yourself,"What is my real purpose in saying what I'm about to say? What positive result am I really aiming for?" If you give people a good reason to listen to you by stating your positive intent, you will communicate more clearly and have less conflict.

Attachment Theory (part 2)

Happens during infancy (0-2) -Secure: when a child is taken care of all of the time during development -Anxious/ambivalent: very cautious when forming attachments, when a child was taken care of most of the time but not always, as a result people are afraid of making commitments in relationships -Avoidant: very rarely form attachments, never taken care of as an infant therefore avoids attachment all together

Sexual Orientation Sub Categories

Heterosexuality (straight) Homosexuality (gay, lesbian) Bisexuality (bi, pansexual)

Conditions of Intimacy: 3) Intimacy & Value

In some relationships, people are shallow, and in others, the relationship and discussions are deeper and of a more profound level. Depth of your interactions

Conflict Resolution Tips: 5) Use humor

It always helps to diffuse a "hot" situation.

Conflict Resolution Tips: 2) Identify positive intent

Minimize defensiveness in another person by assuming the best. Identify what you want but also identify what your partner wants, Ex: you want to use a condom but your partner does not, state your own positive intent

Conflict Resolution Tips: 6) Avoid zapping

No name-calling, over-generalizations, one-upping, or using maneuvers to distract/fluster

Mania

Obsessive jealous love that combines eros and ludus (obsessive, "roller-coaster" love)

Society's Binary view of Sex & Gender

Our society has a binary view of sex and gender-you are either male or female and there is no in-between.

Gender Role Stereotype

Oversimplified, preconceived ideas about the expectations of individuals to enact certain practices or behaviors because of their gender; Is rigid, oversimplified, & general beliefs about how each gender does & should behave

Transexual

People who feel that their biological sex doesn't represent their true identity; traditionally defined as a transgender person who has worked to achieve a better match between gender identity & physical characteristics through changing their anatomical sex - it is typically a self-identifier (people identify themselves as transsexual)

Pragma

Pragmatic love that combines storage and ludus (practical, businesslike, logical) More of a thought out type of love.

Conflict Resolution Tips: 1) blend, blend, blend

Reduce differences between you in order to move to a common ground. Is any behavior by which you reduce the differences between you and another in order to meet them where they are and move to a common ground. Failure to blend differences becomes the basis for conflict. In other words, "No one cooperates with anyone who seems to be against them." Ex: you want to get married but your partner does not, this requires the _____ stage.

Eros

Romantic or passionate love (romantic, passionate, idealized) This can be seen in romance novels

TD thinks the Kinsey Scale is..

Terribly outdated and does not have a lot of use for us today; focuses on sexual behaviors rather than emotions or sexual identity.

Gender Socializing Agents

The factors involved in the gender socialization process by which males and females are informed about the norms and behaviors associated with their sex. They include family, friends, school, workplace, religion, the government, and the mass media among others. The people place and things that influence our gender behaviors and perceptions **we can choose to accept or not accept messages we receive about what makes us female and male**

Conditions of Intimacy: 2) Intimacy & Variety

The greater the range of things that are discussed and disclosed in a relationship, the greater the level of intimacy.

Independent Variables

The relationship between sex, gender identity, sexual orientation, sexual behaviors are..

Sex Chromosomes

The x and y chromosomes; males are XY, XXY, XYY and females are XX, X, XXX.

Attachment Theory (part 1)

Theory that the earliest bonds formed by children with their caregivers have a tremendous impact that continues throughout life. Primary caregivers who are available and responsive to an infant's needs allow the child to develop a sense of security. The infant knows that the caregiver is dependable, which creates a secure base for the child to then explore the world.

Conditions of Intimacy

Time Together Intimacy & Variety Intimacy & Value Intimacy & Exclusivity

When the message intended → is the message received and understood

What makes communication & attribution successful?

Queer

____ is an umbrella term to describe any sexuality, gender identity, gender expression, and/or relationship that falls outside the mainstream.

Jealousy

______ is only bad. It can cause mistrust, insecurity, violence, anxiety, unattractiveness, etc.

Accentuating the Positive

______ is when one looks for and tends to focus on the positive aspects. •When attracted to someone, we often search for and focus on behaviors to COnFIRM that OUR DESIRE to get together with that person is "right" for us. o E.g., "I don't' like boring people, and he's a lot of fun."

Transvestite

a person who enjoys and gets sexual pleasure from dressing and taking on gender role behaviors of a different sex

Negative and Positive Aspects of Jealousy

an almost purely destructive element in relationships; the only positive thing about jealousy is that it makes partners aware that the relationship may be in trouble and things needs to change

The Kinsey Scale does not..

describe sexual orientation

Cross-Dressing

dressing in the "typical" dress of the other sex

Homophobia

fear of homosexuals, outdid and biased definition. Contemporary Definition- subtle and not so subtle forms of prejudice and discrimination against people who are LGBT. This assumes that heterosexuality is superior.

Homophobia: Potential Consequences (Internal & External)

is a negative emotional response, such as fear, anger, anxiety, or discomfort to gays/lesbians; -Violence -School harassment -Homelessness -Other

Gender Roles

is the attitudes, behaviors, rights, & responsibilities a culture associates with the sex of a person, the culture expectation of behavior for each gender

Gender Identity

is the gender you feel and believe yourself to be, one's subjective sense of being a man or woman

Gender Affirmation Surgery

is the proper term for one or more of several types of surgical procedures that may be chosen to align appearance with identity

Gender Schema

is the ways we organize and filter information based on gender, children learn how their culture defines the roles of men and women and then internalize this knowledge and act accordingly; (compartmentalizing information about gender into a set of beliefs about men and women)

Sex

is whether a person at birth is male or female based on their biology (chromosomes and/or hormones) and/or anatomy (genetalia and/or reproductive organs)

In Law's and Outlaw's: What do you see concerning the influence of the following on adult relationships?

•Being happy with yourself rather than trying to find happiness through a relationships •Early family life & how it affected future choices (e.g., learning from observing parents & other important relationships) •Sexual scripts •Knowing he or she "is the one" •Peer support or lack of it •The roles of religion •Culture & customs •Building intimacy •Sources of joy & happiness •The role of HONESTY •Resolving problems in a fair & effective way for both you and your partner •Losing a relationship / partner through divorce or death

Key messages from Inlaws & Outlaws:

•You can develop a healthy, fulfilling relationship, even if your own parent(s) was a bad role model. •Being happy with a relationship begins by being happy with yourself. •Create something that is unique to you as a couple. An experience. A saying. A game. A tradition. Creating something that is exclusive to you can build intimacy in terrific ways. •Starting an intimate relationship is easy; staying in an intimate relationship is tough. •Take time. Building relationships takes time; repairing broken relationships takes time; maintaining relationships takes time. Amount of Time >= The Importance of the Relationship to You •Respect, trust, fun, and joy add to the success of a relationship. •There are many types of intimacy. •Being dishonest with yourself and/or with your partner can be very destructive. •Replace "fighting" with discussions, negotiation, or conflict resolution. •It is good to develop your own system to communicate and resolve conflict. Even if you haven't done this, communicate anyway. No guessing or assuming. Communicate. •Try to be as positive as you can. "Giving happiness attracts happiness."