Interpersonal Com Final
What are the three relational dialectics?
1) Connection- Autonomy Dialectic: want to be close but also independent 2)Predictability- Novelty Dialectic: want familiarity in relationship, but also newness 3) Openness- Closedness: conflict between open communication and privacy
What are the three types of social support?
1) Emotional support: showing empathy and care to situation 2) Informational support: give information to help 3) Instrumental support: doing task or favor to help
What are cultural influences on emotion?
Different cultures have different way of, and rules for expressing emotions
What are the primary love styles?
Eros: powerful, passionate style of love that blazes to life suddenly storge: comfortable, based on friendship & compatibility ludus: view love as a game, commitment avoidance
Describe first stage of a romantic relationship. (individuality)
Individuality means we have needs, love styles, identities, personal histories that affect what we look for
What are the stages of friendship?
Initial meeting, fledging friendship, stabilizing friendship
List the four family communication patterns.
Pluralistic, Consensual, Protective, and Larissez-Faire
What are the secondary love styles?
Pragma (storge/ludus): practical love with clear criteria for partners Mania (eros/ludus): devise games and tests for partners and experience emotional extremes Agape (eros/storge): put another's happiness ahead of their own
What are the three types of confirmation messages?
Recognition (simply paying attention), Acknowledgement (acknowledging ideas/ feelings of others), and endorsement (accepting another's feelings)
what is the difference between task oriented vs maintenance oriented?
Task oriented primarily revolves around a certain activity vs maintenance oriented which is grounded in mutual liking
what is friendship?
a voluntary relationship that provides social support
what is a tangential response?
acknowledging the other person's communication but is used to steer the conversation in a new direction
What does it mean that beliefs about events, rather than the event, causing people to feel something?
activating event= consequences (what we think) vs activating event-> thought/belief-> consequences (what happens)
What is conflict?
an expressed tension between people who are either interdependent, perceive they have incompatible goals, or feel need to resolve difference
What are Physiological Reactions?
anger, fear, disgust, happiness, sadness, surprise
What is the primary influence on relationship formation?
appearance (first impressions influence secondary perceptions, physical factors become less important as relationship develops)
influences on relationship formations
appearance, similarity, complementary, rewards, competency, proximity, self disclosure,
What is the triangular theory of love?
argues that love has three components 1) passion 2) commitment 3) intimacy
What are the three types of disagreeing messages?
argumentativeness (presenting/ defending positions while attacking), complaining (registering dissatisfaction w something) and aggressiveness (attacking self concepts of others)
what is the fallacy of overgeneralization?
base a belief on ourselves on little amount of evidence
List the subcategories of external pressure on friendship.
competing demands (friendships exist within larger social systems), personal changes (friendship change as our lives do), geographic distance
what is an incongruous response?
contains two messages that contradict each other (verbal vs nonverbal)
what is productive conflict?
creates a supportive, positive relationship that increases possibility of resolving differences without harming relationship
Describe sixth stage of a romantic relationship. (commitment)
decision to stay with the relationship
What are framing rules?
define the emotional meaning of situations
How are climates determined?
determined by how much people see themselves, and others, as valued
How does the complementary influence effect relationship formation?
differences can strengthen a relationship if they satisfy the other's needs
What are Nonverbal reactions?
disgust, fear, joy, sadness, anger (inside out character's appearance)
what is conformity orientation?
extent to which family members are expected to adhere to hierarchy and conform in beliefs
What is an impervious response?
fails to acknowledge other person's communicative attempt
What is intimacy?
feelings of closeness. bondedness, connectedness
Describe the second stage of friendship.
fledging friendship starts- small self disclosure, seeing each other outside of regular context
What is social support?
helping others during challenging times by providing support
Define the consensual style of family communication
high conversation and high conformity (ex: talk about getting a tattoo but don't get it)
Define the pluralistic style of family communication
high conversation and low conformity (ex: talk abt tattoo and then get it)
Difference between high and low conversation.
high: interact freely, frequently, happily, deeply low: less interaction, exchange less private thoughts
Difference between high and low conformity.
high: seeks harmony, hierarchy, obedience low: emphasize individuality, independence, equality
What is conversation orientation?
how open or closed communication is
What are love languages?
identify what love means to us and what counts as love
what is the fallacy of catastrophic failure?
if you think something bad will happen, then it will
What are the seven types of disconfirming messages?
impervious response, interrupting response, irrelevant response, tangential response, impersonal response, ambiguous response, incongruous response
How are romantic relationships unique?
includes romantic feelings, sexual feelings, primary & enduring
Define committed romantic relationships.
individuals who assume they will be primary and continuing parts of each other's lives
How does self disclosure theory influence effect relationship formation?
intentionally sharing important information about ourselves
Why is irrational thinking ineffective?
leads to illogical conclusions and debilitative feelings
How does competency theory influence effect relationship formation?
like to be around talented people, but can be uncomfortable around people who are too competent
How does proximity theory influence effect relationship formation?
likely to develop relationships with those who we interact with frequently
Describe fifth stage of a romantic relationship. (revising communication)
looking at relationship more realistically (doesn't always happen)
Define the protective style of family communication
low conversation and high conformity (ex: don't talk about tattoo and either don't get it/ get in secret)
Define the laissez-faire style of family communication
low conversation and low conformity (ex: don't talk about tattoo and get tattoo)
how can social media affect romantic relationships?
maintain contact, indicator of commitment- can also be blamed for conflict like cheating
what is an irrelevant response?
making comments totally unrelated to what the other person was just saying
How do social and professional roles influence emotion?
may discourage direct expression of emotions
How do traditional gender roles influence emotion?
men and women experience same emotions, but can express them differently
what is a disconfirmation message?
message sent to another than communicates they are not valued by the sender
what is a confirmation message?
message sent to another that communicate they are valued by the sender
what is an ambiguous response?
message with more than one meaning
What are disagreeing messages?
messages that say the other person is wrong
What is self talk?
nonverbal, internal monologue that is our process of thinking
What does it mean to "navigate" romantic relationships?
ongoing process of staying committed and living a life together despite ups and downs
What are relational dialectics?
opposing forces that are continuous (normal in relationships- need to be comfortable with them)
Define Emotions.
our experience and interpretation of internal sensations that are shaped by physiology, perceptions, language, & social experiences
Significance of labelling emotions?
our labels can shape our experience, labelling helps describe, our labels influence how we interpret responses
How does social media influence emotion?
people may express more emotion online rather than in person & anonymity can encourage emotional outburst
what is a communication climate pattern spiral?
people respond with a similar type of message they receive
Describe the second stage of a romantic relationship. (invitational communication)
people signal they are interested in interacting
Define relational culture.
private world of rules, understanding, meanings, patterns
Define placemaking.
process of creating a comfortable personal environment that reflects the couple
what is unproductive conflict?
reflects a preoccupation with oneself and disregard for others
List three subcategories of internal pressures on friendship.
relational dialectics (different needs), diverse communication styles (different ways of communication through social or cultural groups) and sexual attractions (undertones)
What is the definition of internal pressures on friendships?
relationship stresses that grow out of people and their interactions
What is the definition of external pressures on friendships?
relationships may encounter pressures from outside
Describe initial meeting stage for friendships.
rely on social rules, awkward/ uncertain, check for common values
What is the social exchange theory (rewards influence)?
seeking out those who can give rewards greater or equal to the costs
What are the different types of friendship?
short vs long term, task vs maintenance oriented, low vs high disclosure, high vs low obligation, infrequent vs frequent contact
What is the fallacy of perfection?
should never make a mistake
what is a impersonal response?
speaker never really interacts with the other person on a personal level
What are ineffective ways we express emotions?
speaking in generalities, not owning feelings, counterfeit emotional language
Describe the third stage of friendship.
stabilized friendship becomes closer and more important
What is a family?
system with two or more interdependent people who have a common history and a present reality and who expect to influence each other in the future
What is emotional intelligence?
the ability to perceive, understand, manage, and use emotions
what is emotion work?
the effort to generate what we think are appropriate feelings in particular situations
What is a communication climate?
the emotional tone of a relationship
What is the similarity thesis
the more similar, the more likely to form relationship
What is emotional contagion?
the process by which emotions are transferred from one person to another
what is defensiveness?
the process of protecting our face
Describe fourth stage of a romantic relationship. (intensifying communication)
view themselves as couple, immerse in relationship, idealize partner
What are the conflict management skills?
- attend to the relationship level of meaning - communicate supportively - listen mindfully -take responsibility for your thoughts, feelings and issues - check perceptions - look for points of agreement - time conflict appropriately - look for ways to preserve the other's face - imagine how you'll fear in the future
What are the guidelines for expressing emotions?
- recognize your feelings -choose the best language -share multiple feelings -recognize the difference between feeling and acting -accept responsibility for your feelings -choose the best time and place to express your feelings - respond sensitively
What is the family life style?
1) Establishing a family: couple settles into committed relationship 2) enlarging a family: adding children, creates new dynamic 3) developing a family: parent- child relationships 4) encouraging independence: children grow up and seek greater autonomy 5) Launching Children: children leave home 6) Post-launching of Children: couples must redefine their relationship 7) Retirement: couples adjust to no work, enjoy life
What are the five steps of deterioration of romantic relationships?
1) Intrapsychic process: dissatisfaction with relationship 2) Dyadic Process: breakdown of established patterns 3)Social Support: partners look for support through people 4) grave dressing process: burying relationship, the end 5) resurrection process: move on
What are the five types of conflict styles?
1) avoidance (lose-lose): when people ignore or stay away from conflict 2) accommodation (lose-win): when someone allows other to have their own way 3) competition (win-lose): assumes that one person will win at the expense of other 4) compromise (negotiated lose-lose): gives people a little of what they want but both sacrifice 5) collaboration (win-win): seeking winning solutions, satisfying needs of both
List principals of conflict.
1) conflict is natural in most western relationships 2) conflict may be expressed overtly and covertly 3) cultural/ social groups shape meaning of conflict 4) conflict can be managed well or poorly 5) conflict can be good for individuals and relationship
what happens during the three stages of an unproductive conflict?
1) early stages: first three minutes are most important, sets stage 2) middle stages: negative climate is stoked by other unconstructive com 3) later stages: proposals met with counterproposals
what happens during three stages of productive conflict?
1) early stages: foundation set far before conflict occurs 2) middle stages: positive groundwork supports what happens as people dig into issues 3) later stages: attention shifts to resolving tension
What are the dimensions of intimacy?
1) emotional: sharing important information/ feelings 2) physical: touch 3) intellectual: exchanging important ideas 4) shared activities
what are four responses to conflict?
1) exit response: physically walking out or psychologically withdrawing 2) neglect response: denies or minimizes problems 3) loyalty response: staying committed to a relationship despite differences 4) voice response: addresses conflict directly with attempts to resolve
What are the six steps of a romantic relationship?
1) individuality 2) invitational communication 3) explorational communication 4) intensifying communication 5) revising communication 6) commitment
What are the features of satisfying relationships?
1) investment: what we put into relationships (time, energy, thought, feeling- we can't get that back) 2) commitment 3) trust 4) self- disclosure: looking for reciprocity of revealing vulnerable information
What are three roles related to emotion?
Framing rule, Feeling rules, Emotion work
Is social support always helpful?
No, social support isn't helpful when too much support is offered
Describe the third stage of a romantic relationship. (explorational communication)
escalation of romance, learning about each other
what are feeling rules?
what we have a right to feel/ expected to feel
What is the fallacy of should?
what we should be doing vs accepting what it actually is
How do friendships deteriorate?
when both stop investing, change in communication (decrease quantity and quality of communication)
What is an interrupting response?
when one person begins to speak before the other is through making a point
How does personality influence emotion?
who we are can be a powerful force in experience and communication of emotions
What is involved in the nature of friendship?
willingness to invest, emotional closeness through dialogue, emotional closeness through doing, acceptance, trust, support
What are the different types of love languages?
words of affirmation (compliments), quality time, gifts (thought that counts), acts of service, physical touch