Interpersonal Com Final

What are the three relational dialectics?

1) Connection- Autonomy Dialectic: want to be close but also independent 2)Predictability- Novelty Dialectic: want familiarity in relationship, but also newness 3) Openness- Closedness: conflict between open communication and privacy

What are the three types of social support?

1) Emotional support: showing empathy and care to situation 2) Informational support: give information to help 3) Instrumental support: doing task or favor to help

What are cultural influences on emotion?

Different cultures have different way of, and rules for expressing emotions

What are the primary love styles?

Eros: powerful, passionate style of love that blazes to life suddenly storge: comfortable, based on friendship & compatibility ludus: view love as a game, commitment avoidance

Describe first stage of a romantic relationship. (individuality)

Individuality means we have needs, love styles, identities, personal histories that affect what we look for

What are the stages of friendship?

Initial meeting, fledging friendship, stabilizing friendship

List the four family communication patterns.

Pluralistic, Consensual, Protective, and Larissez-Faire

What are the secondary love styles?

Pragma (storge/ludus): practical love with clear criteria for partners Mania (eros/ludus): devise games and tests for partners and experience emotional extremes Agape (eros/storge): put another's happiness ahead of their own

What are the three types of confirmation messages?

Recognition (simply paying attention), Acknowledgement (acknowledging ideas/ feelings of others), and endorsement (accepting another's feelings)

what is the difference between task oriented vs maintenance oriented?

Task oriented primarily revolves around a certain activity vs maintenance oriented which is grounded in mutual liking

what is friendship?

a voluntary relationship that provides social support

what is a tangential response?

acknowledging the other person's communication but is used to steer the conversation in a new direction

What does it mean that beliefs about events, rather than the event, causing people to feel something?

activating event= consequences (what we think) vs activating event-> thought/belief-> consequences (what happens)

What is conflict?

an expressed tension between people who are either interdependent, perceive they have incompatible goals, or feel need to resolve difference

What are Physiological Reactions?

anger, fear, disgust, happiness, sadness, surprise

What is the primary influence on relationship formation?

appearance (first impressions influence secondary perceptions, physical factors become less important as relationship develops)

influences on relationship formations

appearance, similarity, complementary, rewards, competency, proximity, self disclosure,

What is the triangular theory of love?

argues that love has three components 1) passion 2) commitment 3) intimacy

What are the three types of disagreeing messages?

argumentativeness (presenting/ defending positions while attacking), complaining (registering dissatisfaction w something) and aggressiveness (attacking self concepts of others)

what is the fallacy of overgeneralization?

base a belief on ourselves on little amount of evidence

List the subcategories of external pressure on friendship.

competing demands (friendships exist within larger social systems), personal changes (friendship change as our lives do), geographic distance

what is an incongruous response?

contains two messages that contradict each other (verbal vs nonverbal)

what is productive conflict?

creates a supportive, positive relationship that increases possibility of resolving differences without harming relationship

Describe sixth stage of a romantic relationship. (commitment)

decision to stay with the relationship

What are framing rules?

define the emotional meaning of situations

How are climates determined?

determined by how much people see themselves, and others, as valued

How does the complementary influence effect relationship formation?

differences can strengthen a relationship if they satisfy the other's needs

What are Nonverbal reactions?

disgust, fear, joy, sadness, anger (inside out character's appearance)

what is conformity orientation?

extent to which family members are expected to adhere to hierarchy and conform in beliefs

What is an impervious response?

fails to acknowledge other person's communicative attempt

What is intimacy?

feelings of closeness. bondedness, connectedness

Describe the second stage of friendship.

fledging friendship starts- small self disclosure, seeing each other outside of regular context

What is social support?

helping others during challenging times by providing support

Define the consensual style of family communication

high conversation and high conformity (ex: talk about getting a tattoo but don't get it)

Define the pluralistic style of family communication

high conversation and low conformity (ex: talk abt tattoo and then get it)

Difference between high and low conversation.

high: interact freely, frequently, happily, deeply low: less interaction, exchange less private thoughts

Difference between high and low conformity.

high: seeks harmony, hierarchy, obedience low: emphasize individuality, independence, equality

What is conversation orientation?

how open or closed communication is

What are love languages?

identify what love means to us and what counts as love

what is the fallacy of catastrophic failure?

if you think something bad will happen, then it will

What are the seven types of disconfirming messages?

impervious response, interrupting response, irrelevant response, tangential response, impersonal response, ambiguous response, incongruous response

How are romantic relationships unique?

includes romantic feelings, sexual feelings, primary & enduring

Define committed romantic relationships.

individuals who assume they will be primary and continuing parts of each other's lives

How does self disclosure theory influence effect relationship formation?

intentionally sharing important information about ourselves

Why is irrational thinking ineffective?

leads to illogical conclusions and debilitative feelings

How does competency theory influence effect relationship formation?

like to be around talented people, but can be uncomfortable around people who are too competent

How does proximity theory influence effect relationship formation?

likely to develop relationships with those who we interact with frequently

Describe fifth stage of a romantic relationship. (revising communication)

looking at relationship more realistically (doesn't always happen)

Define the protective style of family communication

low conversation and high conformity (ex: don't talk about tattoo and either don't get it/ get in secret)

Define the laissez-faire style of family communication

low conversation and low conformity (ex: don't talk about tattoo and get tattoo)

how can social media affect romantic relationships?

maintain contact, indicator of commitment- can also be blamed for conflict like cheating

what is an irrelevant response?

making comments totally unrelated to what the other person was just saying

How do social and professional roles influence emotion?

may discourage direct expression of emotions

How do traditional gender roles influence emotion?

men and women experience same emotions, but can express them differently

what is a disconfirmation message?

message sent to another than communicates they are not valued by the sender

what is a confirmation message?

message sent to another that communicate they are valued by the sender

what is an ambiguous response?

message with more than one meaning

What are disagreeing messages?

messages that say the other person is wrong

What is self talk?

nonverbal, internal monologue that is our process of thinking

What does it mean to "navigate" romantic relationships?

ongoing process of staying committed and living a life together despite ups and downs

What are relational dialectics?

opposing forces that are continuous (normal in relationships- need to be comfortable with them)

Define Emotions.

our experience and interpretation of internal sensations that are shaped by physiology, perceptions, language, & social experiences

Significance of labelling emotions?

our labels can shape our experience, labelling helps describe, our labels influence how we interpret responses

How does social media influence emotion?

people may express more emotion online rather than in person & anonymity can encourage emotional outburst

what is a communication climate pattern spiral?

people respond with a similar type of message they receive

Describe the second stage of a romantic relationship. (invitational communication)

people signal they are interested in interacting

Define relational culture.

private world of rules, understanding, meanings, patterns

Define placemaking.

process of creating a comfortable personal environment that reflects the couple

what is unproductive conflict?

reflects a preoccupation with oneself and disregard for others

List three subcategories of internal pressures on friendship.

relational dialectics (different needs), diverse communication styles (different ways of communication through social or cultural groups) and sexual attractions (undertones)

What is the definition of internal pressures on friendships?

relationship stresses that grow out of people and their interactions

What is the definition of external pressures on friendships?

relationships may encounter pressures from outside

Describe initial meeting stage for friendships.

rely on social rules, awkward/ uncertain, check for common values

What is the social exchange theory (rewards influence)?

seeking out those who can give rewards greater or equal to the costs

What are the different types of friendship?

short vs long term, task vs maintenance oriented, low vs high disclosure, high vs low obligation, infrequent vs frequent contact

What is the fallacy of perfection?

should never make a mistake

what is a impersonal response?

speaker never really interacts with the other person on a personal level

What are ineffective ways we express emotions?

speaking in generalities, not owning feelings, counterfeit emotional language

Describe the third stage of friendship.

stabilized friendship becomes closer and more important

What is a family?

system with two or more interdependent people who have a common history and a present reality and who expect to influence each other in the future

What is emotional intelligence?

the ability to perceive, understand, manage, and use emotions

what is emotion work?

the effort to generate what we think are appropriate feelings in particular situations

What is a communication climate?

the emotional tone of a relationship

What is the similarity thesis

the more similar, the more likely to form relationship

What is emotional contagion?

the process by which emotions are transferred from one person to another

what is defensiveness?

the process of protecting our face

Describe fourth stage of a romantic relationship. (intensifying communication)

view themselves as couple, immerse in relationship, idealize partner

What are the conflict management skills?

- attend to the relationship level of meaning - communicate supportively - listen mindfully -take responsibility for your thoughts, feelings and issues - check perceptions - look for points of agreement - time conflict appropriately - look for ways to preserve the other's face - imagine how you'll fear in the future

What are the guidelines for expressing emotions?

- recognize your feelings -choose the best language -share multiple feelings -recognize the difference between feeling and acting -accept responsibility for your feelings -choose the best time and place to express your feelings - respond sensitively

What is the family life style?

1) Establishing a family: couple settles into committed relationship 2) enlarging a family: adding children, creates new dynamic 3) developing a family: parent- child relationships 4) encouraging independence: children grow up and seek greater autonomy 5) Launching Children: children leave home 6) Post-launching of Children: couples must redefine their relationship 7) Retirement: couples adjust to no work, enjoy life

What are the five steps of deterioration of romantic relationships?

1) Intrapsychic process: dissatisfaction with relationship 2) Dyadic Process: breakdown of established patterns 3)Social Support: partners look for support through people 4) grave dressing process: burying relationship, the end 5) resurrection process: move on

What are the five types of conflict styles?

1) avoidance (lose-lose): when people ignore or stay away from conflict 2) accommodation (lose-win): when someone allows other to have their own way 3) competition (win-lose): assumes that one person will win at the expense of other 4) compromise (negotiated lose-lose): gives people a little of what they want but both sacrifice 5) collaboration (win-win): seeking winning solutions, satisfying needs of both

List principals of conflict.

1) conflict is natural in most western relationships 2) conflict may be expressed overtly and covertly 3) cultural/ social groups shape meaning of conflict 4) conflict can be managed well or poorly 5) conflict can be good for individuals and relationship

what happens during the three stages of an unproductive conflict?

1) early stages: first three minutes are most important, sets stage 2) middle stages: negative climate is stoked by other unconstructive com 3) later stages: proposals met with counterproposals

what happens during three stages of productive conflict?

1) early stages: foundation set far before conflict occurs 2) middle stages: positive groundwork supports what happens as people dig into issues 3) later stages: attention shifts to resolving tension

What are the dimensions of intimacy?

1) emotional: sharing important information/ feelings 2) physical: touch 3) intellectual: exchanging important ideas 4) shared activities

what are four responses to conflict?

1) exit response: physically walking out or psychologically withdrawing 2) neglect response: denies or minimizes problems 3) loyalty response: staying committed to a relationship despite differences 4) voice response: addresses conflict directly with attempts to resolve

What are the six steps of a romantic relationship?

1) individuality 2) invitational communication 3) explorational communication 4) intensifying communication 5) revising communication 6) commitment

What are the features of satisfying relationships?

1) investment: what we put into relationships (time, energy, thought, feeling- we can't get that back) 2) commitment 3) trust 4) self- disclosure: looking for reciprocity of revealing vulnerable information

What are three roles related to emotion?

Framing rule, Feeling rules, Emotion work

Is social support always helpful?

No, social support isn't helpful when too much support is offered

Describe the third stage of a romantic relationship. (explorational communication)

escalation of romance, learning about each other

what are feeling rules?

what we have a right to feel/ expected to feel

What is the fallacy of should?

what we should be doing vs accepting what it actually is

How do friendships deteriorate?

when both stop investing, change in communication (decrease quantity and quality of communication)

What is an interrupting response?

when one person begins to speak before the other is through making a point

How does personality influence emotion?

who we are can be a powerful force in experience and communication of emotions

What is involved in the nature of friendship?

willingness to invest, emotional closeness through dialogue, emotional closeness through doing, acceptance, trust, support

What are the different types of love languages?

words of affirmation (compliments), quality time, gifts (thought that counts), acts of service, physical touch