Interpersonal Communication Chapter 4-copied version

Linguistic Determinism

language determines what we can perceive and think. According to this theory, we cannot perceive or think about things for which we don't have names -discredited Language reflects and shapes perception and thought

Speech Communities

Although all humans use language, we don't all use it in the same way. A speech community exists when people share norms about how to use talk and what purposes it serves. They arise out of social locations.

Qualify Language...

Another strategy for increasing the clarity of communication is to qualify language. Two types of language should be qualified. First, we should qualify generalizations so that we don't mislead ourselves or others into mistaking a general statement for an absolute one. Qualifying reminds us of the limitations of what we say. We should also qualify language when describing and evaluating people.

Static evaluation

Assessment that suggest that something is unchanging or fixed. Anna is selfish

Strive for accuracy and clarity...

Because symbols are arbitrary, abstract, and ambiguous, the potential for misunderstanding always exists.

Language allows abstract thought

Because we think abstractly, we don't have to consider every specific phenomenon individually. Instead, we can think in broad terms

Guidelines for improving verbal communication

Building on what we have learned about language, we will now consider guidelines for improving effectiveness in verbal communication

Language can degrade others

Can be used to degrade and dehumanize others. One form of degrading language is hate speech, which is language that radically dehumanizes members of particular groups

Language and culture reflect each other

Communication reflects cultural history, values, and perspective. It also creates or reproduces culture by naming and normalizing practices valued by the culture. Communication also changes culture by naming things in ways that alter understanding. Language is a primary tool that social movements use to change cultural life and meanings.

We can foster personal growth

Helps us grow personally. This requires you to remember who you were at an earlier time, to appreciate progress you have made, and to keep an ideal image of the person you want to become to fuel continued self-improvement

Respect what others say about their feelings and thoughts

Its equally destructive to be told our thoughts are wrong. We tend to feel hurt or disrespected when someone tells us our ideas or feelings are wrong. Let people speak for themselves. We should not assume we understand how they feel.

Language evaluates...

Language isn't neutral or objective. It is laden with values. Thus, the particular words that we use shape our perceptions and those of others.

Be aware of levels of Abstraction

Misunderstanding is less likely when we are conscious of levels of abstraction. Abstract words are appropriate when speakers and listeners have similar concrete knowledge abut what is being discussed.

Gendered speech communities

One of the earliest studies showed that children's games are a primary agent of gender socialization. Feminine speech regard talking as the primary way to create relationships and build a way to celebrate and increase intimacy

Social Media and Verbal Communication

One of the most obvious ways is our coining new words to describe experiences and modes of communication that are unique to social media.

Language can stereotype

Our capacity to abstract can also distort thinking. Thinking in broad generalizations about a whole class of people or experiences. Common to all stereotypes is classifying an experience or person based on general perceptions of some category

Symbolic Abilities

Philosophers of language have identified five ways that symbolic abilities affect our lives

Punctuation shapes meaning

Punctuation defines beginnings and endings of interaction episodes. To punctuate communication, we define when interaction begins and who starts it. When we don't agree on punctuation, misunderstandings may arise. Demand Withdraw Pattern Withdrawal from parental control

Language can be loaded

Refers to words that strongly slant perceptions and thus meanings. It is hard to keep up with changes in language, and its inevitable that we will occasionally irritate or offend someone unintentionally. Nonetheless, we should try to learn what terms hurt or offend other and avoid using them.

We can monitor our communication

Self-reflection also empowers us to monitor ourselves. Self-reflection allows us to monitor our communication and adjust it to be effective

Constitutive Rules

Specify how to interpret and perform different kinds of communication. We learn what counts as respect (listening, eye contact), or friendliness (smiles) or affection (kisses and hugs)

Regulative Rules

Specify when, where, and with whom to talk about certain things.

Indexing

Technique developed by early communication schools to remind us that our evaluations apply only to specific times and circumstances. Bob (in college) was generous.

The meanings of language are subjective

The meanings of words are never self-evident or absolute. Instead we construct meanings in the process of interacting with others and through dialogues we carry on in our heads. The process of constructing meaning is itself symbolic because we rely on words to think about what words and other things mean.

Language defines phenomena...

The most basic symbolic ability is definition. We use symbols to define experiences, people, relationships, feelings and thoughts.

Language shapes and reflects relationships

The symbols we use to define experiences in our relationships affect how we think and feel about those relationships. This suggests we might want to be mindful of the language we use when talking or thinking about our relationship.

Abstract

They are not concrete or tangible. Words stand for ideas, people, events, objects, feelings, and so forth, but they are not the things they represent. Becomes confusing as it gets more abstract. One way this happens is through overgeneralization.

Language allows hypothetical thought...

Thinking about experiences and ideas that are not part of your concrete, present situation. Because we do this, we can plan, dream, remember, set goals, consider alternative courses of action, and imagine possibilities

Engage in Dual Perspective

This involves being person-centered so that you can recognize another's perspective and take it into account as you communicate. Competent communicators respect and adapt to the perspectives of those with whom they interact

Language can totalize

Totalizing occurs when we respond to a person as if one label totally represents who or she is. We fix on one symbol to define someone and fail to recognize many other aspects of that person.

Language use is rule guided

Verbal communication is patterned by unspoken but broadly understood rules

We live in three dimensions of time

We infuse our present lives with knowledge of our histories and plans for our futures

Own your feelings and thoughts

We often use language in ways that obscure our responsibility for how we feel and what we think. Even in extreme situations, we need to remember that we, not others, are responsible for our feelings. To take responsibility for your own feelings, rely on I language rather than you language. I language owns thoughts and feelings and does not blame them on others.

Language organizes perceptions...

We rely on cognitive schemata to classify and evaluate experiences. The words don't change, but their meaning varies depending on how we organize our perceptions of words and those who speak them

Language reflects and shapes perceptions

We tend to describe people we like with language that accents their good qualities and downplays their flaws

Language allows self-reflection...

We use language to reflect on ourselves. First, there is the I which is the spontaneous creative self. The I acts impulsively in response to inner needs and desires. The me is the socially conscious part of the self that monitors and moderates the I's impulses. The Me reflects the I from the social perspectives of others. The I is impervious to social conventions and expectations, but the me is keenly aware of them

We can manage our image

We want to present a particular face in our interpersonal encounters. Because we reflect on ourselves from other perspectives, we are able to adapt our communication so that we appear positively in their eyes.

Regulative and Constitutive Rules for Social Media

What regulative rules have evolved to govern when, where, and with whom it is appropriate to communicate online and digitally? For constitutive rules, what counts as rudeness in texting? What counts as supportive in Facebook comments? What counts as attentiveness online?

Ambiguous

What they mean is not clear-cut. Because symbols are ambiguous, there is no guarantee that people will agree on what words mean. The ambiguity of language can lead to misunderstandings between friends and romantic partners. It can also create confusion in the workplace.

Language shapes perceptions

When we label someone, we focus attention on particular aspects of that person and her or his activities, and we neglect or overlook other aspects of the person

We can think beyond immediate, concrete situations

When we symbolize, we name ideas so that we can hold them in our minds and reflect on them. We can contemplate things that currently have no real existence and we can remember ourselves in the past, and project ourselves into the future

Arbitrary

Words are not intrinsically connected to what they represent. Meanings of words can change over time. The arbitrary character allows us to invent new words. It also allows us to make up special words or to attach unconventional meanings to words. Most groups have some in-group terms that are understood only by its members.

Symbols

Words are symbols, which are arbitrary, ambiguous, abstract representations of other phenomena

Communication Rules

shared understandings of what communication means and what kinds of communication are appropriate in particular situations. We are not conscious of the rules that guide how, when, where and with whom we communicate about various things