Interpersonal Communication Midterm

movement

Generally systematic and sequential Forward and backward Within stages (degrees) Move to a new place Always in a flux Need to decay in order to grow

social exchange theory

It is rooted in economics. When revenue exceeds cost we get profit (growth) When cost exceeds revenue we get loss (decay) What are rewards and what are costs? The value of rewards and costs change. As a relationship changes, the value might change A $5 bill means more when you are younger than what it does now What is the point of diminishing returns? When continued investment doesn't equate to gain

intensifying

It marks the attainment of a close friendship. Self-Disclosure is approached with care ("risky information") Favors used to authenticate stage First self-disclosure in a relationship is pivotal

Rationalization

Justify behavior by assigning logical, admirable or acceptable motive to it

Coordinated Management of Meaning

Key Theorists: Barnett Pearce Vernon Cronen Susan Shimanoff Others

Id

Original personality Houses aggression Survival instinct Governed by the pleasure/pain principle Only part in place at birth We will seek out what is pleasurable, and avoid what is painful

regulative

an attempt to control interaction

five steps of decay

can be good for a relationship differentiating, circumbscribing, stagnating, avoiding, terminating

intimate

close relationship between two people

constitutive

defines the meaning of an act within a context

logical forces

prompt actions of stop actions Prior actions (commitments)Desired outcome (instrumental behavior) Situational demant (context calls for it) Change (attempts to alter relationship)

speech acts

provide directions to messages and context for framing content

bonding

the relationship becomes institutionalized Formally contracted relationship Bonding is not the pinnacle of intimacy, formal commitments influence relationships Terminating the relationship becomes more difficult roommate (lease: bonding) spouse (marriage: integrating)

displacement

the transfer of psychic energy from one object to another (taking it out on someone else) Socially unacceptable behavior

The Impulse to Enhance Enjoyment of Certain Activities

"It's hard to be festive alone" Executives of internet dating sites notice increased activity from New Year to Valentine's Day and during spring and summer A day at Disney: enjoyment comes from the people you're with

communication in inevitable

"One cannot not communication" All behavior is communication. Communication does not have an opposite. Communication is not always about understanding, it can also be about misunderstanding

assumption of simple meaning

"Words don't mean, people do" How we say something is as important as what we say. "I said that I would go." Order of behavior influences meaning. Kissing before you fight is different than kissing after you fight.

preconscious

(ideas, thoughts, memories that can be recalled)

autobiographies

(life scripts) rules help us to construct self identify (serious values)

unconscious

(process of mind that influence our behavior of which we are not aware)

conscious

(you know what you're doing while you do it)

Followable

Actors have a choice Force is not a choice

Why perceptions differ

Although we encounter the same person, we develop different perceptions What do you see?

Assumption of Communicator Independence

American society emphasizes individual responsibility. We influence each other more than we know. Relationship problems are mutual. Dyads engage in "response matching" Affection produces affection. Distrust begets distrust. Interdependence grows with the relationship.

Actionalistic View of Human Behavior

Are humans capable of novel behavior? Is all behavior a response to environmental stimuli? Do humans differ from other animals? Yes Abstraction separates us from animals Language is abstract (symbolic)

misconceptions in communication

Assumption of Finality Assumption of Obvious Causation Assumption of Communicator Independence Assumption of Simple Meaning Assumption of Consistency

Similarity or dissimilarity

Birds of a feather flock together Common world view Commonness reduces relationship work Phantom other technique (you pick you) Opposites attract Other offers us an ideal Opposition is challenging Being different makes us stand out from the crowd

integrating

Blending of two personalities; two people share a oneness (values) Signs (are not causes) : Social packaging (associated with each other) Intimacy trophies (wearing other person's shirt) Common property (pet) the peak of intimacy

true

Communication technologies are not inherently constructive or destructive to interpersonal relationships

obligations

Choices have consequences Obligations are duties to relationships

prohibition

Choices have consequences There are things that we will not do

asynchronous

Communication technology is more _____ than face to face come

communication occurs on more than one level

Content is the task or job being conveyed Relationships are the emotions between us. Content and relationship are present in all messages at the same time. High-context cultures emphasize relationships. Low-context culture emphasizes content.

hierarchy of meaning

Content: we agree on interpretation (words and or behavior) Speech Acts: provide directions to messages and context for framing content Episodes: dyadic interaction routines Relationships: dyadic scripts that create relationship boundaries (on script/off script) Autobiographies: (life scripts) rules help us to construct self identity (serious values) Cultural Patterns: explain how lower levels of the hierarchy fit into society (social groups)

getting together

Davis' Impulses The Push People Together Impulses are forces (encouragers)

model of interaction stages in a relationship

Dyad : unit of analysis (us, not you) Applies to dyads generically (all kinds) time is irrelevant Characterizes psychology and behavior Explains relationship change Ephemeral changes Interaction moves us through stages

Perceptions are influenced by what we choose and how we process what we observe.

Family communication should be required for all education majors. What is serial transmission?

The Impulse to Express Experiences

Give protection and comfort for unpleasant private experiences Increase enjoyment of pleasant experiences We generally like solitude in small doses Views aloneness as a penalty (shunning)

Expectancy-Value Theory

Gratification= belief + evaluation

Perceptions are structured by cultural conditioning, education, and personal experience

Identical twins are not identical Love before marriage or marriage before love?

3 Common dialectical tensions

Integration-Separation Expression-Nonexpression Stability-Change

The Impulse to Assert Oneself

Interaction develops identity Social comparisons give perspective Schacter's classic fear experiment "Misery doesn't love just any kind of company, just miserable company." What are support groups Assertion= sense of control (over yourself)

the impulse to receive stimulation

Interactions generate excitement/interest Humans have a need to socialize What is a hypochondriac?

An Ontological View of the World

Is there a single structure in the social world? Do all of us experience the same social reality? The natural world has universals. Rules theorists endorse multiple social realities Reality is contextually dependent.

criticism

Lack of coherence Function over Disfunction Assumes rational consumption

experimenting

Learn what we do not know about each other Seek commonalities that aid in developing mutual interests (topics that both like) Phatic communication (small talk) Experimenting is not about self-disclosure

Our self-concept is affected by and affects our interpersonal communication

Let's go back to grammar school. Our self-concept changes throughout life.

Dependency Theory

Limited effects debate

social skills

MOST IMPORTANT FACTOR OF ATTRACTION

Ego

Mark of human rationality Operates in conscious rational/logical problem solving Muscular and sensory control of the body Develops with age and language

assumption of obvious causation

Motives are complex and not always apparent Interpretations of others are influenced by our own needs/wants She just does that to ruin my good time "Seven-eighths of everything can't be seen" Many factors influence perceptions of cause: Our stage in life. Events outside the relationship. Third parties.

true

New communication technologies are not replacing face-to-face relationships

eight principles of interpersonal communication

Physical settings have an impact on interpersonal communication "Our self-concept is affected by and affects our interpersonal communication" "Communication occurs on more than one level" "Communication produces more Communication" "Communication is irreversible" "Communication is Continuous" "Communication is inevitable" "Communication is a process"

beauty or beast

Physically attractive people get more chances Beauty=individually defined; culturally structured Less attractive people rely more on social skills Mickey Gilley's song "All the girls get prettier at closing time." (holds true) Men more transparent about physical attraction Walster's matching hypothesis (maximize attraction/minimize rejection) Rating someone on a scale of one (least attractive) to ten (most attractive) A six would go for a 5, 6, 7, or 8 but not a 1-4 or 9/10

stability-change

Predictability is a requirement for trust and comfort Predictability is a recipe for disaster (boredom) Others influence decisions in our lives

initiating

Processes that transpire when we encounter another person Opening line Norms : pleasantry, likability, and understanding We initiate with friends and strangers Each interaction is a new initiation

near or far

Proxemics helps and hinders attraction Exposure encourages interaction How many have shared a bedroom with a sibling? In romantic relationships, physical separation is stressful Close quarters creates stress during relational decay (eg: office romance/friendship)

Communication is irreversible

Relationships can only go forward or stop. Relationships make history. Once something occurs, it becomes part of the relationship (good or bad). We cannot go back, but we can apologize!

true

Research has associated relationship intimacy with increased uses of communication technology

true

Research has linked compulsive internet behavior to marital deterioration

true

Research has linked non-compulsive internet use with marital well being

context

Rules apply to specific contexts Broad rules apply to many contexts Idiosyncratic rules apply to a given context (or a few) Implicit Rules are negotiation nonverbally Explicit Rules are codified (discussed or written)

Rules Organize Social Action

Rules are dyadic (and small groups) Rules are psychological agreements We negotiate rules Meanings are derived through interaction

Defining Rules according to Susan Shimanoff

Rules are following prescriptions that spell out obligations, preferences, and prohibitions of acceptable and unacceptable behaviors in given contexts

appropriateness

Rules define behavior acceptability In bounds and out of bounds within a relationship

prescriptive

Rules tell us what to do What is a medical prescription? Rules prescribe behaviors, not feelings?

mass media

Shift to audience (from message) Needs based (psychological)

communication produces more communication

Small talk leads to big talk. Small talk is an art.

Superego

Societal agent Represents our morals and values Unconscious (and preconscious) Learns what is acceptable and what is unacceptable Governed by guilt

Communication is a process

Some claim universal components: Sender (encoder), receiver (decoder), messages, channel, noise, environment, effect. Everything happens all at the same time. Relationships happen all at the same time **

key assumptions

Stages of development create challenges Adulthood also contains challenges Normalcy debate Defense mechanism are methods of "ego coping"

defense mechanisms

Started by Freud Continued by others (psychoanalytic thought) Sources cited at end of show Selected list

Psychiatrist Leonard Zunin:

The first 4 minutes is crucial to the fate of a relationship Marriage relationship quality can be predicted by assessing the first 4 minutes of interaction when reuniting after a work day

assumption of finality

We are never really "over it"; we are "over it" for now. It is not over until the funeral. Divorce ends a marriage, not a relationship. We are never finished trying to know each other.

assumption of consistency

We expect others to be the same (behavior and attitudes) We also want change Everyone is a "flip-flopper" Context influences behavior She is quiet, until you get to know her

expression-nonexpression

We manage a reveal-hide tension Disclosure is needed to develop intimacy and trust Disclosure makes us vulnerable We can reveal too much too soon It is also possible to not reveal enough

integration-separation

We manage the balance between individualism and togetherness "Too much or too little togetherness will create tension that will initiate change" (p. 52) We want to blend without losing our singular identity

communication is continuous

We never stop communicating Interpersonal communication (between) Intrapersonal communication (within) (cognition/thinking) - very continuous

reward or punishment?

We tend to like those who like us Rewards and costs are receiver based, they also change Research on romance indicates that playing "hard to get" works best in moderation

dialectical theory

What is dialectic? Change becomes the resulting effort to manage inevitable tensions of relationship life. Using conversation to manage tensions

Physical settings have an impact on interpersonal communication

What is it like to share a room with someone? Interviews and eye contact.

internet

____ communication is more edible than face to face communication

affordances

____ represents communicative behaviors or specific features of communication channels

change

based on 3 common dialectical tensions......

the many faces of attraction

beauty or beast, near or far, similarity or dissimilarity, reward or punishment

sigmund freud

coined psychoanalytic theory (neofreudians) Basic Assumptions: All of our behavior is a reaction between psyche (mind) and soma (body)

3 Levels of Awareness

conscious (you know what you're doing while you do it) preconscious (ideas, thoughts, memories that can be recalled) unconscious (process of mind that influence our behavior of which we are not aware)

Types of Rules (CMM)

constitutive: defines the meaning of an act within a context Regulative: an attempt to control interaction

relationship costs

cost, time, independence, emotion, opportunity

episodes

dyadic interaction routines

relationships

dyadic scripts that create relationship boundaries (on script/off script)

reaction formula

ego deals with an anxiety by concentrating on the direct opposite 180 degree turn

Denial

evading disagreeable realities by ignoring or refusing to acknowledge

strange loops

explain dysfunctional patterns of thinking that surface during interaction RD Laing's unilateral spiral

cultural patterns

explain how lower levels of the hierarchy fit into society (social groups)

regression

going back to a developmental state because the conflict is too great (a sort of retreat)

growth

initiating, experimenting, intensifying, integrating, bonding

dyad

interpersonal relationship Constantly changing

projection

involves placing the cause of an anxiety on an external object (blamer finding a scapegoat)

online dating

is a misnomer

surveillance

is an affordability of social networking

drinking

is neither considered displacement or sublimation

curiosity

need to learn

Surveillance

need to track

selective perception

perceptions are influenced by our own needs, desires, and emotional states. What are rose-colored glasses? We make contradictory information congruent- Focusing on one thing makes us ignore others.

diversion

relief need

relationship benefits

security, support system, entertainment, interesting

Personal Identity

self orientation

sender receiver

shift from...

sublimation

specific type of displacement (socially acceptable way to transfer the psychic energy)

content

we agree on interpretation (words or behavior)

undoing

we try to eliminate or make up for something that we think is wrong Apologies Self administered punishment

identification

where an individual imitates and incorporates the characteristics of another person into his or her own personality