Ministry Life and Calling
Categories of Spiritual Gifts in the Bible
-9 "Supernatural Gifts" 1 Corinthians 12:4-11 -7 "Motivational Gifts" Romans 12:6-8 -4 or 5 "Equipping Gifts" Ephesians 4:11 (7-16)
What is a Crucible?
-A vessel or melting pot -A test of the most decisive kind, a severe trial
Thee Basic Ways That Many Commonly Evaluate Success
-Appearance: how we look (physical appearance, the clothing we wear) -Possessions: what we own (wealth, material things, land, houses, and business) -Accomplishments: what we have done (accomplishments, positions held, prestige, power, education, or service)
GODLY CHARACTER
-COVERS THE GAPS IN OUR GIFTEDNESS -COVERS THE DARK SIDE OF OUR GIFTS
Cultural Values that Build Trust
-Communication context. -Power distance. -Clock time vs event time. -Precision vs ambiguity. -Results vs relationship
Phase 5: Convergence
-Convergence occurs. That is, the leader is moved by God into a role that matched gift-mix, experience, temperament, etc. This phase uses the best that the leader has to offer. Not many leaders experience convergence, where they are truly ministering out of who they are. -God opens a distinct role for leaders that showcases the best of what they have to offer. There is a clear fit between the needs of the ministry and the gifts of the leader. -By this phase, leaser are unencumbered by a need to please everyone at all times. They are not encumbered by having to do things that they simply are not gifted to do. This phase is the culmination of the previous four.
Negative Attribution Theory
-Cultural discernment and biblical wisdom is Required. -Leaders need to learn to withhold judgment on cultural differences:negative attribution theory(why a 5 year old might instinctively decide that he doesn't like a new dish) means that -people tend to assume things in a new culture are not just different: they are wrong!
Culture Defined
-Culture can be compared to a map that charts where and how a specific group of people lives. -Culture provides the values, emotions, belief systems, ideals, ideas, customs, assumptions and practicesfor the group. -Cultures are created by people in specific places to meet specific needs. They can change over time, and they contain both truth and error.
Indulgence
-Culture's spirit of expressive individualism has affected ministers in the extremes of either overwork or idleness. -While many ministers in previous generations tended to sacrifice without complaint, even when being treated unjustly by others, there are many more now who are not willing to make much in the way of sacrifices. - Small churches -Churches take advantage of pastors and pastors take advantage of churches
Features Common to all Spiritual Gifts
-Each gift is a unique was God's grace enables an individual. -No gift is for boasting -None for the benefit of the recipient, but for the common good -All are to be operates with love -God's spirit equips both genders in every category of gifts
Professional Benefits of Emotional Intelligence
-Effective leadership skills -Improved communication -Less workplace conflict -Better problem solving skills -Increased likelihood of promotion
"Common" Crucial Conversations
-Ending a relationship -Asking a friend to repay a loan -Giving the boss feedback about her behavior -Critiquing a colleague's work -Talking to a team member who isn't keeping commitments -Talking to a colleague who is hoarding information or resource
How to discover your spiritual gift:
-Examine your feelings and analyze your abilities. If you are productive in a particular area of ministry and enjoy your work - it is likely that you have gifts in that area -EXPECT CONFIRMATION FROM THE BODY -Complete a Spiritual Gift inventory (which is only ONE out of the six parts of the Discovery Process)
Another way to think about EI:
-For every action (or lack of action) there is a reaction or consequence -For every interaction (or lack of interaction) there is a reaction or consequence
Abuses of Spiritual Gifts:
-Gift projection -Gift exaltation
5 Principles for dreaming God-sized dreams
-God commands us to step out of our comfort zone (Abraham) -God puts his dreams in your heart (Joseph) emphasis on God's dream not ours -God allows us to fail in out attempts to accomplish his dreams in our own power (Moses) -God teaches us through adversity to love the dream giver more than the dream (David) -God clarifies out calling in times of crisis and often uses our worst failures as the platform for his future fulfillment. (Paul)
Phase 1: Sovereign Foundation
-God providentially works foundational items into the life of the leader-to-be. Personality characteristics, good and bad experiences, and time will be used by God to lay foundations to build upon later. -God Providentially uses both the good and the bad experience in leaders' lives to prepare them for later use under His lordship -The story of David is a good example. Despite having... -The early stages of life totally beyond the leader's control, yet often critical in the leader's development. -It includes such God's sovereign influence over one's family, childhood, church, and school experiences both good and bad, which God uses to develop the early attitudes and sensitivities of a future leader. -In this phase, God intends to develop the basic personality and character of the future leader implanting skills, gifts, burdens and concerns which He will later...
God's Will and Your Life:
-God's desires is that we fully engage with what He is already doing -God's will is essentially aligning ourselves with what God is already doing -God's will is that we fully engage with Him playing our position in His plan -Watch where God is working and join Him!
Personal Benefits of Emotional Intelligence
-Greater career success -Stronger personal relationships -Increased optimism and confidence -Better health
EQi and IQ in the Workplace
-IQ predicts between 1 and 20 % of success within a job (average 6%) -EQ is directly responsible for 27-45% of job success
Success and Failure:
-If your definition of failure includes not being as good/smart/beautiful/thing as another person, a sense of misery will loom over you like a dark cloud -If your definition of success includes not being as bad/stupid/ugly/hefty as another person, sooner or later pride will bring you down -The more we compare ourselves with others, the more we thwart our ability to fulfil God's purpose for our life
Crucible Choices
-Image vs Character -Fear vs Faith -Circumstances vs Truth -Deception vs Integrity -Arrogance vs Humility -Disappointment vs Expectancy -Justice vs Retribution and Revenge -Godliness vs Worldliness -Ignorance vs Wisdom -Submission Authority vs Rebellion -Greed vs Trust and Simplicity
Common Derailments "Hazards" for Vocational Ministers
-Imposters: unconsciously lack self-awareness and self-esteem -Rationalizing: consciously deviate from their values -Glory Seekers: motivated by recognition and the world's acclaim -Loners: fail to build personal support structures (arrogance/insecurity/narcissism) -Shooting Stars: lack the grounding of an integrated life- lack discipline, core values, and focus
Phase 2: Inner-Life Growth
-In Phase 2 an emerging leader usually receives some kind of training, often informal - it's learning by doing in the context... -Leaders seek to know God more intimately thought the use of spiritual disciplines. Formal involvement in ministry often occurs in this phase. -God patiently develops discernment and obedience through tests; each successive test building on the previous one. If a leader fails or skirts a test, God graciously provides another opportunity for him or her to succeed. -God is primarily concerned with the inside of the emerging leader, in order to develop character and commitment -To do this, God provides 'Integrity Checks' and other tests and lessons of obedience and submission. (Integrity checks, obedience checks, and word checks, ministry checks -God is working to develop the future leader's inner character and skill base for use later. Even in the emerging leaser's place of ministry, while beneficial to others, God's focus is on the development in the leader. -If he or she continually fails these checks, he or she...
4 Checks:
-Integrity check -Obedience check (knows God's voice & obeys) -Word check (clarifies God's word for other by word & deed) -Ministry check (initiates ministry to others)
The 7 Motivational Gifts
-Like personality traits, inherent at birth, heightened after new birth, these motivations are graciously given by God that we might serve Him with great joy. -Prophesying (Prophecy) -Serving (Serving, Helps) -Teaching -Encouraging (Exhortation) -Giving (Contributing) -Leading (Leadership, Administration) -[Showing] Mercy (Compassion)
Cowardice
-One more subtle form of pride, is putting your own needs ahead of the needs of others. -Reflects a lack or orientation to the gospel and is the temptation to look to the approval of others instead of the work of Christ for your justification and significance.
Why don't crucial conversations tend to go well?
-Our emotions tend to rule -Your body physically reacts -We are under pressure -We are stumped -We act in self-defeating ways
4 Problems Pastors Face that are Related to EI
-People pleasing: the willingness to deny one's own feelings, priorities, values or convictions in order to try to make others happy -Emotion faking: denying one's feelings and putting on the 'pastoral persona' -Lack of reflection: because of the busyness of their schedule and lack of self-care, pastors lacked the time or commitment to reflect and process what they were thinking and feeling. -Conflict avoidance: the pastor's common tendency to avoid conflict at all costs naturally resulted in a failure to face and address emotions.
Seven "Cultural Domains"
-Personal -Generational -Church -Denomination -Geography and Demographics -Socio-economic Status -Socio-ethnicity
Eugen Peterson on Success:
-Peterson vehemently opposes the notion of pastor-as-CEO and presses for a pastor-as-shepherd model -He provides a much-needed counter-balance to the excesses of the church growth era of the 1970's and 1980's -Peterson's model can also induce guilt,
The Causes of Fruitlessness:
-Pride -Indulgence -Cowardice -Hypocrisy
True Success
-Prioritizes Character -Prioritizes Inner Life Over Outward Ministry -Propritizes Character Over Gifts
4 Crucial EQ Components:
-Relationship Management -Social-Awareness -Self-Management -Self-Awareness
What Drives Success?
-Research: "the most successful groups in America 'sharing three traits that, together propel success'" -A superiority complex: a deep-seated belief in your exceptionally (should not be pride driven). -Insecurity: a feeling that you or what you've done is not good enough -Impulse control: ability to delay self-gratification
The Differences Difference Makes
-Sense of self and space -Communication and language -Dress and appearance -Food and eating habits -Time and time consciousness -Mental processes and learning -Work habits and practices -Values and norms -Beliefs and attitudes -Relationships
Eight Ways to Improve Your EQ:
-Slow down - tune in to feelings, thoughts, environment -Think before you speak or act -Building motivation -Build your Delayed Gratification -Educate yourself -Take an assessment -Work on listening -Give up control
The 9 Supernatural Gifts:
-Spontaneous: supernatural endowments given by God to meet need as the occasion arises -an instance of wisdom (v. 8) -an instance of knowledge (v. 8) -faith (v. 9) -gifts of healings [that result] (v. 9) -workings of miracles [that result] (v. 10) -prophecy (v.10) -discerning/distinguishing of spirits (v.10) -various kinds of tongues/languages (v. 10) -interpretation of tongues/languages (v.10)
Two Ways to Deal with Crucial Conversations
-Talk it out -Act it out
Success in the 1970's and 1980's:
-Test of Ministry Growth -Numerical, organizational growth -1970s and 1980s, one of the most influential schools of thought in seminary circles was the "church growth" movement founded by Donald McGavran and C. Peter Wagner Wen Arn - Church Growth Institute -Left many pastor's feelings/believing that if the numbers weren't good they were a failure
Phase 3: Ministry Maturing
-The emerging leader gets into ministry as a prime focus of life. He or she gets further training, often informally. The major activities is this phase are ministry. Training often incidental, as it is the ministry... -In the first three phases is that God is primarily working in the leader, not through him. Though there may be fruitfulness in ministry, the major work God is doing is in and to the leader. Most emerging leaders don't recognize this. They value productivity, but God is quietly trying to ger the leader to see that one ministers out of what on is. God is concerned with what we are, not just what we do. -God helps leaders foster their spiritual gifts and navigate relationships within the body of Christ. God is working in the leader rather than through the leader, and at times the ministry benefits as a result.
Phase 4: Live Maturing
-The leader identifies and uses his or her gift-mixed with power. There is major fruitfulness. This is a period in which giftedness emerges along with priorities. -Leaders are now mature enough for God to begin to work through them. The have also gained enough wisdom to prioritize their spiritual gifts and understand where to focus their efforts. -Times of isolation, crisis and conflict provide perspective on ministry's role in their lives; that the success of the ministry itself is not as important as their relationship with God. -The depth produced in this stage gives the leader the insight into knowing what... -Though outer success may continue through this phase, God shifts His primary attention inside the leader in order to bring 'Union Life' where being and doing are joined. -This phase might even include isolation, exile, or great trials in order for God to re-focus on inner growth
The 4 or 5 Equipping Gifts
-These gifts are people whose place in ministry helps the church, by preparing the congregation for service, and edifying, unifying, and maturing the body of Christ. -Apostles -Prophets -Evangelists -Shepherd/Pastor -Teachers
What is God's will for your life?
-To follow the Law of the Lord -To be Sanctified -To be thankful and joyful - trust God -To do good
The Rise of Success Criteria:
-Today there is far more pressure... -The very idea of success is something of a new way to judge ministers -The older criteria for evaluation had more to do with doctrinal accuracy, loyalty, and consistency of discharge duties -Today's churches and congregations seek successful ministers and dismiss less successful ones. -Ministers hold themselves to the standards of success of increasing numbers and expanding budgets
Clever Stories to Watch for
-Victim Stories -Villain Stories -Helpless Stories
Hypocrisy
-We are always pointing people toward God in one way or another, in order to show them His worth and beauty. -But seldom will our hearts be in a condition to say such a thing with complete integrity, since our own hearts are often in need of encouragement, gospel centeredness, and genuine gladness. -Thus, we have two choices: either we have to guard our hearts continually in order to practice what we are preaching, or we live bifurcated lives of outward ministry and inward gloominess. -Key problem will be preaching the gospel while not believing the gospel. -Ministry success often becomes what we look to in order to measure our worth to others and our confidence before God. -At one level we believe the gospel that we are saved by grace not works, but at a deeper level we don't believe it much at all. -We are still trying to create our own righteousness through spiritual performance, albeit one that is sanctioned by our call to ministry. -THE MINISTRY WILL MAKE YOU A FAR BETTER OR A FAR WORSE CHRISTIAN THAN YOU WOULD HAVE BEEN OTHERWISE
Principles of our call to insignificant
-What seems insignificance to us is not insignificant to God -Sometimes God calls us to insignificance -When God calls us to insignificance it is vital that we not lose sight of His view of us -We must listen and hear His words when He says, "You are my child. What you do is so precious to me." -Feeling His favor by faith is the lifeline of working in obscurity
Outreaching
-apostleship, evangelism, working miracles, compassion, healing, servanthood, prophecy -Outreaching congregations tend to be very missional in nature, serving the community in a variety of ways, and reaching out to people in that area. The focus is on the world
Driven Hero
-excels as a solo performer -gets others to follow them -elicits compliance from others -seeks personal glory -wins superficial praise -people follow conditionally -builds temporary success
Mythical (Accidental) Hero
-excels as a team leader -empowers others to lead -elicts the best from others -seeks team success -wins legitimized acclaim -people willing follow -builds long term success (legacy)
Organizing
-knowledge, administration, giving, leadership, helping, teaching, wisdom -Organizational congregations tend to be highly structured, very organized, and program rich. Committees and work teams involve large numbers.
Witnessing
-knowledge, faith, prophecy, teaching, evangelism, exhortation, healing -Witnessing congregations tend to emphasize worship, Christian Education, and church growth. Faith sharing is central to the life of the fellowship. Focus is local.
Pride
-makes us more concerned with popularity and applause than with fruitfulness -makes us defensive when criticized -Form of pride that can derail ministers is a type of tribal arrogance that elevates our own church models and denominational traditions above others and makes us scornful of those with different theological opinions
Ingredients to Safety
-mutual purpose -mutual respect
Behavior is...
-observable -situationally-based -flexible -dynamic -based on thoughts and beliefs
Factors that Influence Our Response
-physical response -emotions -react under pressure -don't know what to say -self-defeating
What is emotional intelligence?
-the ability to manage ourselves and our relationships effectively. -the capacity to be aware of, control, and express one's emotions, and to handle interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathetically. -Understanding the reaction or consequence any given interaction (or lack thereof) will produce and acting in such a way to intentionally attain the reaction or consequences you desire.
The Principles of Crucial Conversations
-the vital behavior that enables most any positive organizations outcome is candor at moments of acute emotional an political risks.
Nurturing
-wisdom, shepherding, exhortation, helping, discernment, faith, compassion -Nurturing congregations tend to be very committed to building fellowship, visitations, small groups, Sabbath School, and member care. The focus is primarily turned inward
How To Discover Your Spiritual Gift
1. Consecrate your life to God and ask Him for wisdom. (James 1:5) 2. By faith BELIEVE that God has granted you at least one Spiritual Gift. 3. Review Romans 12:6-8, 1 Cor. 12 and Ephe. 4, asking God to guide you in your sphere of Ministry. 4. Examine your feelings and analyze your abilities. If you are productive in a particular area of ministry and enjoy your work -it is likely that you have Gifts in that area. 5. EXPECT CONFIRMATION FROM THE BODY. 6. Complete a Spiritual Gifts Inventory (which is only ONE out of the six parts of the Discovery Process)!
Growing Cultural Intelligence
1. Devise learning strategies - find entry points into the new culture - HEAD 2. Show that you accept people from the other cultures - HEART 3. Believe in your ability to adapt to the culture - HANDS
8 Principles of "Crucial Conversations"
1. Get unstuck 2. Start with heart 3. Learn to look 4. Make it safe 5. Master my stories 6. State my path 7. Explore others' paths 8. Move to action
Recent Findings on the Impact of EQ on Student Success
1. Higher achieving students demonstrated higher Total EQ, Intrapersonal Skills, Stress Tolerance and Adaptability 2. Students who are anxious or depressed get lower grades/lower achievement scores 3. Students who can delay gratification earn better grades and have an average of 210 more points on their SAT tests 4. Students who respond to setbacks with hope and resilience vs. anger and hopelessness achieve higher academic and social success 5. Low levels of empathy are associated with poor achievement 6. Resiliency training can improve the resiliency of students 7. EQ skills can be enhanced in a college transition cours
How Does God Lead Us?
1. It's God's Work 2. God Pursues a Love Relationship 3. God's Invitation 4. God Speaks 5. The Crisis of Belief 6. Adjust 7. Experiencing God Through Obedience
4 was to Build Your Delayed Gratification Muscle
1. Make your new habit "so easy that you can't say no." Start incredibly small. 2. Improve one thing, by one percent. Do it again tomorrow. 3. Stop procrastination- work out every day -use the "Seinfeld Strategy" to maintain constancy 4. Find a way to get started in less than 2 minutes
Four General Categories of Gifts
1. Ministry Equipping Gifts: APEST (Eph.4) 2. Manifestation Gifts 3. Miraculous Gifts (non-resident) 4. Motivation Gifts (Rom. 12)
Six Big Risks In Life - Dennis Waitley
1. NOT Taking responsibility for giving up bad habits and invalid assumptions. 2. NOT Taking responsibility for setting an example in our own lives. 3. NOT Distancing ourselves from a peer group that isn't helping us succeed and therefore tends to, or wants to, hold us back. 4. NOT Leading ourselves and others down a new and unfamiliar path. 5. NOT Working more to reach a goal and being willing to delay gratification along the way. 6. NOT Being willing to face criticism and jealousy from people who would like to keep us stuck in place with them.
What makes a conversation "crucial" vs. typical?
1. Opposing Opinions 2. High Stakes 3. Strong Emotions
Three Crucial Moments in Churches
1. Performance problems with volunteers or staff 2. Member who are struggling in sin or disconnecting from the church 3. Concerns with pastors
Five Components of Emotional Intelligence:
1. Self Awareness 2. Self Regulation 3. Motivation 4. Social Awareness Empathy 5. Social Skill
Nine Strategies for Promoting Emotional Intelligence
1. Taking the time for mindfulness 2. Recognize and name emotions 3. Understanding the causes of feelings 4. Differentiating between emotion and the need to take action 5. Preventing depression through "learned optimism" 6. Managing anger through learned behavior or distraction techniques 7. Listening for the lessons of feelings 8. Using "gut feelings" in decision making 9. Developing listening skills
TWELVE CHARACTERISTICS OF STRONG TRUST-BUILDERS
1. They keep promises 2. They tell the truth and receive the truth 3. They are quick to apologize when they do something wrong 4. They are good listeners 5. They generously accept and praise people 6. They willingly cooperate with their colleagues 7. They strive to understand how others feel 8. They live out selfless character 9. They keep the faith and fight for honesty -biggest fight may be your own thoughts 10. They are tenaciously focused on their objectives 11. They handle privilege, position, and responsibility with great care 12. They invest in the lives of others but know they are not the Savior
Joseph Campbell's mythical "Hero's Journey" components: The Hero:
1. Typically comes from obscurity 2. Has a compelling "Mission" 3. Has a Mentor (wise counselor) for advice 4. Feels inadequate (or reluctant) to accomplish the Mission 5. Has a helper/helpers who enable/fortify and who without which s/he would be unable to accomplish the mission Has a talisman, sacred object or weapon to aid him 6. Has setbacks, failures and great obstacles to overcome 7. Is not guaranteed of success - but goes anyway
How do we typically handle crucial conversations:
1. We can avoid them 2. We can face them and handle them poorly 3. We can face them and handle them well
Seven Crucial Skills
1.Heart 2. Learn and Look 3. Make it safe 4. Master My Stress 5. State my path 6. Explore others' path 7. Move to action
Seven Basic Emotions
Anger Happiness Fear Disgust Surprise Love Sadness
Big Idea #1: the Principle of Crucial Conversations
Anytime you find yourself stuck, stop and ask "what crucial conversation are we not holding or not holding well?"
Self Regulation
Controlling your impulses —instead of being quick to react rashly, you can reign in your emotions and think before responding. You express yourself appropriately.
Daniel Goleman's first EI study
EI predicts 90% of success -181 positions in 121 companies worldwide -Only one non-EI trait predicted success -Pattern recognition -No other technical or analytical trait was predictive -For scientists and engineers, analytical thinking ranks third in importance
Spiritual gifts are
God's gracious enablement to help the people of God, as individuals, in various, unique ways to do the work of God, both in the world and in the church, more effectively than they could on their own.
Verifying your gifts
Identification is with the individual Verification is with the body. Expect confirmation from the body •Confirmation by the church body •Confirmation by the Lord through prayer
Social Skill
Identifying social cues to establish common ground, manage relationships and build networks
Motivation
Internal motivation is marked by an interest in learning. It is also self-improvement vs. a pursuit of wealth and status (as a pursuit of wealth and status is an external motivator)
What are the Spiritual Gifts clusters?
Nurturing Outreaching Witnessing Organizing
Six Phases of Leadership Development
Phase I: Sovereign Foundation [0-20] Phase II: Inner-Life Growth [20-30] Phase III: Ministry Maturing [30-40] Phase IV: Life Maturing [45-55] Phase V: Convergence [2-4 years later for 15-20 years] Phase VI: After Glow [Around 70]
Johari Window
Public: Self: Known, Others: Known Blind Spot: Self: Unknown, Others: Known Hidden: Self Known, Others: Unknown Undiscovered Potential: Self: Unknown, Others: Unknown
Five Dimensions of Authenticity
Purpose Value Heart Relationships Self-Discipline
Orienting the compass
Purpose Values Heart
Navigating the compass
Relationships Self-Discipline
Who came up with the Emergence Theory
Robert Clinton
Spiritual Gifts are found where?
Romans 12:6-8 1 Corinthians 12:4-11 1 Corinthians 12:27-31 Ephesians 4:11-12
When you need to share controversial, touchy or unpopular views:
Share your facts Tell your story Ask for other's paths Talk Tentatively Encourage Testing
What is cultural intelligence?
The ability to function effectively in different cultures
Social Awareness Empathy
The ability to understand another person's emotional reaction. This is only possible when one has achieved self-awareness—as one cannot understand others until they understand themselves
Crucial Moments
The moments of disproportionate influence? Moments where how someone behaves has an enormous effect on every result you care about?
Big Idea #2: Make it Safe
When safety is at risk, step out of the content and strengthen mutual purpose and mutual respect
Culture is...
a 'patterned way of thinking, feeling and reacting to various situations and actions,"' and as "the programming that shapes who we are and who we are becoming."'
Emotional intelligence is
a measure of how successful you are at interacting with others. Including how well you manage your own emotions (especially during times of stress) and how well you are able to help others manage their emotions.
How to reduce hidden area
by learning to not be afraid of sharing more of yourself
Values
deeply held beliefs that guide actions, not what you say but what you do (under pressure)
Self-Awareness
emotional self-awareness (Base)
Self-Management
emotional self-control, adaptability, achievement orientation, positive outlook
Social-Awareness
empathy, organizational awareness
Relationships
enduring relationships, provide feedback and grounding, engender trust and commitment
Relationship Management
influence, coach and mentor, conflict management, teamwork, inspirational leadership
Heart
passion for work, compassion for those you serve, empathy for those you work with, thoughts and desires
How to reduce Blind Spot
receiving feedback from others (may come in harsh ways)
Self Awareness
recognize and understand your own moods and motivations and their effect on others. To achieve this state, you must be able to monitor your own emotional state and identify your own emotions
Self-Disciple
set high standards for yourself/others, forms basis of accountability, ensures continual growth
Purpose
understanding yourself/your passions, letting them motivate you