The Five Conflict-Handling Modes

Concern Styles

"All depends" All five modes are useful in some situations, each represent a set of useful social skills

Conventionl Wisdom Recognizes

"Two heads are better than one" (Collaborating) "Kill your enemies with kindness" (Accommodating "Split the difference" (Compromising) "Leave well enough alone" (Avoiding) "Might makes right" (Competing)

In conflict situatons, we can describe a person's behavior in two basic dimensions

1. Assertiveness: extent to which the individual attempts to satisfy his or her own concerns 2. Cooperativeness: extent to which the individual attempts to satisfy the other person's concerns

The two dimensions can be used to define five methods of dealing with conflict

1. Competing 2. Collaborating 3. Compromising 4. Avoiding 5. Accommodating

Challenge

17 camels, 3 heirs 1st son: 1/2 of camels 2nd son: 1/3 of camels 3rd son: 1/9 of camels How do they split? Borrow a camel to do the math: 18 camels, 9-6-2 = 17 camels

2. Collaborating

Assertive and cooperative Find solution that fully satisfies the concerns of both Likely takes the longest Balanced power Good communication Use when the issue is too important for simple tradeoff

Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument (TKI)

Assesses an idividual's behavior in conflict situations - that is, situations in which concerns of two people appear to be incompatible

SO WHAT?

Competition is a frequent default in conflict Whether minmizing or resolving, good communication skills are key When it is critical to the long-term health of the organization, strive for collaboration It's all about the W

Dual Concerns Model

Contending | Collaboration Competition | Problem Solving _____________________ |____________________________ | Compromise | _________________|_________________|_______________ Inaction | Accommodation Avoidance |

3. Compromising

Intermediate in both assertiveness and cooperation Find an expedient, mutally acceptable solution that partially satisfies both parties Can end standing conflict quickly, middle ground When parties are equal of power Win/win vs. Lose/lose Avoid when it is important Only temporary

1. Competing/Force

Quick Assertive and uncooperative Power-oriented mode Natural default to be wary of Use when you know you are right Use when it is important, unpopular, or urgent Beware of the wake

Effectiveness of a given Conflict-Handling Mode depends on

The requirements of the specific situation and the skill with which you use that mode

5. Accommodating

Unassertive and cooperative, Quick Opposite of competing Neglect his or her own concerns to satisfy the concerns of the other person Element of sacrifice May take the form of self generosity or charity When you realize you are wrong Helps when the relationship is more important than the issue Beware of the wake

4. Avoiding

Unassertive and uncooperative No resolution Need for cooling off Don't use when a quick decision is needed

Go for the "W"

What do you want and why? What do they want and why? What can you do together? (Compromise/Collaboration)