w8(w) Forgiveness

what are the 2 steps involved in forgiveness

1. lessen and reduce bitter/angry feelings and desire for revenge (reduce negative affect) AND 2. replace that with positive feelings of goodwill towards transgressor

what is forgiveness not?

1. pardoning 2. condoning 3. excusing 4. forgetting 5. denying

What was aristotles view on forgiveness

Aristotle thought it was a moral virtue - comes out of our hearts and flows out of other people

describe stage 2 of enrights process model of forgiveness

Decision Decide that what you have been doing hasn't worked. Be willing to begin the forgiveness process. Decide to forgive.

what is the science of forgiveness focused on?

Development - when do we learn to forgive, is it natural or socialized personality - are there dispositional characteristics of forgiveness social - transgressions that society may find more forgivable than others health - effect of forgiveness on health

describe stage 4 of enrights process model of forgiveness

Discovery The meaning of suffering. Your need for forgiveness. You are not alone. Purpose of your life. Freedom of forgiveness. Transgressions are events. It's the resentment that is harmful. The antidote to that is forgiveness If you're not ready to forgive then this process doesn't work

What predictors increase likelihood of forgiveness

PERSONALITY selfish/apathetic vs selfless/empathetic RELATIONSHIP QUALITY over benefitted vs heavily invested NATURE OF TRANSGRESSION serious offences, discovered from 3rd party vs unsolicited disclosure and trivial offense SOCIAL COGNITIVE VARIABLES viewed as intentional malice vs no responsibility attribution

What is required for forgiveness

condition required - transgression occured/ treated unjustly replacement of bitter angry feelings of vengefulness resulting from a hurt with positive feelings of goodwill toward offender self-forgiveness is another form (similar to self compassion) - linked to health benefits

how likely are we to forgive?

depends on transgression greater the transgression, less likely to forgive eg. murdering child vs. telling lies

what is intrapersonal forgiveness and how does it affect relationship quality

don't bring it out in the open to transgressor but tell yourself you have the strength to forgive relationship quality stays the same

What do studies on terminal cancer with enright's model show us?

some of them carried around resentment. Randomly assigned them to forgiveness intervention. Physciological markeers deteriorate (as expected) psychological markers improved though

What did metaanalysis of forgiveness studies find?

Moderators were dosage, modality, offense severity Compared to other treatments, forgiveness tends to increase wellbeing compared to others Dosage- more intervention the more likely effects Modality - reach and enright model both seem to be equally effective Offence severity - GREATER TRANSGRESSION, MORE FORGIVENESS YOU HAVE seems to be opposite of what we would think. Possible theory is greater transgression has more room to forgive

what factors affect forgiveness

SITUATIONAL more likely to forgive if by accident RELATIONAL more likely to forgive someone you don't know and have no future with PERSONALITY people with higher trait of agreeableness and perspective taking are more likely to forgive

describe stage 1 of enrights process model of forgiveness

Uncovering - looks at the transgression and how it's affected you and the impact how have you avoided dealing with anger? how have you faced your anger? are you afraid to expose your shame or guilt? has the anger affect your health? Have you been obsessed about the injury or the offender? Do you compare your situation with that of the offender? Has the injury caused a permanent change in your life? Has the injustice changed your worldview?

describe stage 3 of enrights process model of forgiveness

Work Work towards understanding (why they did it). Work towards compassion (increase positive feelings). Accept the pain (not forgetting/denying, but accepting that it's affected/hurt you). Give the offender a gift. -controversial and one of key parts of enright's model

does forgiveness work in close relationships? what did the kate longitudinal assessment of forgiveness in relationships study find

higher benevolence (well-meaning/kindness) = better longer you've been in relationship, more likely to remain intact after transgression more you feel loved by person = more likley to remain in predictors less benevolence, more vengeful attitude = more likely to breakup romantic love = less in love you feel more likely to break up RELATIONSHIP COMMITTMENT big moderator = more committed means more likely to report increase in relationship satisfaction after transgression

what are social benefits of forgiveness

improvements in interpersonal relationships

What do we do when someone close to us transgresses (partner, sibling, etc)

interpersonal people who are more close to us have more opportunity to hurt us and it has a greater effect on us have a victim and perpetrator in interpersonal (not in intrapersonal) relationship quality - more likely to try to reconcile with more invested relationship Interdependence theory

what are the different ways people forgive

interpersonal intrapersonal pseudo forgiveness

what is pseudo forgiveness and how does it affect relationship quality

just try to overlook and maintain a positive relationship this causes relationship to suffer

What do studies on drug rehab with enright's model show us?

one of enright's theories is that when someone is transgressed you mask anger and hurt by self medication as a coping method. People who receive dtreatement had improved outcomes

what is interpersonal forgiveness and how does it affect relationship quality

open disclosure with transgressor increases relationship

what are the benefits of forgiving

psychologyical physiological social

what are psychological benefits of forgiveness

reduces anger, bitterness, resentment, depression

what are physiological change benefits of forgiveness

reduces heart rate, blood pressure

What do studies on incest survivors of enright's model show us?

something thought to likely be unforgiveable but Clinically signitificant reductions of depresion and anxiety. Diagnosable as clinically depressed but after treatment no longer. No improvement in control condition. After the study the control group wen through the intervetion and had similar results

what does interdependence theory say about forgiveness

the more invested we are in the relationship the more likely we will try to forgive unspoken rules/norms in relationships - a transformation process - you have both individuals AND relationship involved if the forgiveness process is successful, commitment and trust may increase

why is it said that forgiveness is not for the weak

to forgive you need to have the strength to process the hurt and not seek revenge but instead, offer positive feelings. feel the hurt, accept, acknowledge, and give something back

what are the 4 stages of enrights process model of forgiveness

uncovering decision work deepening

describe preliminary stage of enrights process model of forgiveness

understanding the transgression; who hurt you how deeply were you hurt what specific incident? What was the circumstances at the time, what was said, time of day? figure all this out then go to stage 1

what is forgiveness

universal phenomenon found across all religions and is a 1. choice - not forced or pressured 2. result of a process 3. intrapersonal - comes from within 4. intentional and voluntary - you decide and take the steps to forgive 5. reduces retaliation and negative emotions and increases positive emotions to transgressor