Chapter 10 The Practice of Forgiveness and Reconciliation

Forgiveness

Forgiveness is giving up the idea of a better past. The decision to reduce negative thoughts , affect , and behavior such as blame and anger towards offender or situation and to begin to grow and and gain better understanding of offense or offender. Elements of the definition of forgiveness: -Focused on the present after reflecting deeply on the past -desire to be free of negative patterns that reduce quality of life -willing to do interior work, regardless of what the other person is willing or able to do -developing compassion for self and others - giving up the idea of "getting even" therefore ---enabling self to live more freely and happily engage in negotiation process involving discussion of different truths , mutual contributions an d impacts

Ho'oponopono (Hawai'i)

Means ' To make right' .Process begins with opening prayer to establish a spiritual context for social relations and their repair- An elder initiates an investigation into the problems underlying the disharmony. Process recognizes that grievances are often tied together.