Chapter 5
According to Bill Borcherdt, which of the following emotions is the most harmful?
Anger
The first stage in the hierarchical process of conflict is________
Decision Making
Pedro likes low cohesion and emotional space in his relationships. He is private and self-reliant. According to the Couple and Family Love Map, he would be classified as a(n)______
Distancer
In terms of the Couple and Family Map, ______ tend to create disengaged or separated types of intimate relationships that are low in cohesion
Distancers
U.S. society encourages men to be ______ and ______
Distancers and overfunctioners
Which statement is the least likely to be true?
Expressions of anger tend to make us feel more positive about ourselves
T/F "I" statement tend to be signals of attack that invite defensiveness
False
T/F Venting (by yelling or pounding pillows) releases anger and therefore deals with it
False
Concerning negative emotions such as anger, bitterness, and resentment, most couples:
Fear them and have difficulty learning to deal with them
As the hierarchy of conflicts proceeds from the lower levels to the higher levels, the need for making a decision______
Increases
The traditional taboo against anger includes all EXCEPT?
Individuals should not deny their genuine feelings
Which of the following statements is true about conflicts in intimate relationships?
It is normal
Which of the following are the two dynamic forces in every marriage?
Love and anger
In the top five conflict problems for couples, the number one issue is that_____
One person ends up feeling responsible for the problem
Calista tends to be very rigid and structured in her approach to life and relationships. Her friends and family view her as reliable and a "take charge" kind of person. According to the Couple and Family Love Map, she would be classified as a(n)______
Overfunctioner
In terms of the Couple and Family Map, ______ know what is best not only for themselves but for everybody else as well
Overfunctioners
In the context of the Couple and Family Map, ______ are commonly characterized as "always reliable" and "always together" people
Overfunctioners
Which of the following statements is true about the diagram of the hierarchy of conflict reported in the textbook?
Problem solving follows decision making
According to our textbook authors, which of the following is predominant reason for suppressing negative emotions?
Psychological
In terms of the Couple and Family Map,______ tend to want to create connected or enmeshed types of intimate relationships that are very high in cohesion
Pursuers
Except for housework and child care, U.S. society encourages women to be ______ and ______
Pursuers and underfunctioners
Lerner's pursuer's tend to:
Seek greater togetherness in a relationship
Pursuers and distancers have difficulty finding a balance between:
Separateness and togetherness
In context of the Couple and Family Map, which of the following statements is true about pursuers?
They place high values on talking and expressing feelings
In the context of the Couple and Family Map, which of the following statements is true about distancers?
They tend to open up the most when they are not pushed of pursued
T/F A recent study(Julien 2003), discussed by our textbook authors, found that there was no difference in the level of conflict behaviors among heterosexual, gay, or lesbian couples
True
T/F Giving ultimatums is one of the most heavily confrontational ways people have for arguing with each other and such a strategy does not cool things down, it tends to heat things up
True
T/F Lerner's fifth style of anger management, the blamer, is a person who has a short fuse and responds in times of stress with emotionally intense feelings
True
T/F The dance of anger is Harriet Goldhor Lerner's metaphor to describe how human beings relate to each other
True
T/F The hierarchy on conflict model illustrates the importance of early decision making in preventing problems and crisis
True
T/F The most common divorce scenario, many family therapists would argue, is not one of fireworks but one of a gradual loss of closeness
True
T/F indifference is the opposite of anger and love and hate
True
T?F Depression, shyness, and suicide are expressions of anger at oneself
True
Carson is highly unorganized and extremely flexible in his approach to relationships and life. His family and friends view him as irresponsible. According to the Couple and Family Love Map, he would be classified as a(n)_______
Underfunctioner
In terms of the Couple and Family Map, ____ tend to become less competent under stress, letting others take over or fill in
Underfunctioners
In the context of the Couple and Family Map, _______ are described at work and in the family as "the fragile one", "the sick one", "the problem", "the irresponsible"
Underfunctioners
People who in many areas of life are unorganized and chaotic are viewed as_______ according to the Couple and Family Map typology
Underfunctioners
When fighting, "time-outs" are:
Useful tools when verbal interchanges get too intense
Which type of statement is more helpful in resolving conflicts?
an "I" statement
Lerner's overfunctioners want:
more structure
