Combo with "Reflect & Relate: Chapter 11" and 1 other

Benefits of Cross-Orientation Friendships

- For straight men and women forming a cross-orientation friendship and can help correct negative stereotypes - For LGBTQ people, creating a cross-orientation friendship can provide much needed emotional and social support from outside of the LGBTQ community, helping to further insulate them from societal homophobia.

Benefits associated with inter-cultural friendships

- Gaining new cultural knowledge - Broadening of one's world view - Breaking Stereotypes

List the types of friendships

1. Best friends 2. Cross-Category Friendships

On average how many close friendships do people have?

4

Explain Autonomy vs. Connection as it relates to family

As we mature, we must balance our desire for autonomy against the connection that we share with our families and the corresponding expectations and obligations regarding who we "should" be as family members.

Define Family Communication Patterns Theory

The idea that conformity orientation and conversation orientation underlie the communication between family members.

Explain Inter-ethnic Friendships

bond between people who share the same cultural background (ex: american) but who are of different ethnic groups (African American, Asian American, Euro-American, etc) - boosts cultural awareness and commitment to diversity - people who develop a close inter-ethnic friendship become less prejudiced toward ethnicities of all types as a result.

Define Parental Favoritism

where one or both parents allocate an unfair amount of valuable resources to one child over others. - may include intangible forms of affection (statements of love, praise, more patience, etc) or tangible resources(tuition, cars, jobs, etc).

Explain Cross-Orientation Friendships

friendships between lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans-gendered or queer people and straight people. - bonded by shared interests and activities plus provide support and affection.

Explain Inter-cultural Friendships

friendships between people from different cultures or countries. - Need to find and bolster some significant type of ingroup similarity. - People who have had these types of relationships before and more likely to engage in them again.

Define Nuclear Family

family type consisting of a father, mother, and their biological or adopted children. - 60 years ago it was the most common family type. Today it is the minority.

Define Extended Family

family type consisting of a group of people who are related to one another - such as aunts, uncles, cousins or grandparents - and who live in the same household. - more common in: Italian American, African American and Asian American families.

Define Step-family

family type where at least one of the adults has a child or children from a previous relationship. - aka...blended or remarried families - 50% of marriages in USA and Canada are "re-marriages" for one or both partners. - More than 50% of children in 21st century will grow up in step-families.

Explain Technology's effect on friendship

- In the past people forged friendships slowly, taking time to discover the values and interests of their neighbors, coworkers and acquaintances and only then build friendships with those who shared their values & interests - Now we form friendships more quickly and easily thru friending them on social media. - make constant connection possible - vast majority of friends on Fb aren't friends at all, they are neighbors, coworkers, etc - Offline relationships still considered superior. - Offline friendships report higher degrees of intimacy, understanding, interdependence and commitment. - Valuable resource for chronically shy people

Explain Geographic Locations effect on friendship

- one of the most common and intense challenges friends face. - physical separation prevents friends from adequately satisfying the needs that form the foundation of their relationship, such as sharing activities and intimate self-disclosure. - most begin with th intention of seeing each other regularly, however they rarely visit for the sole purpose of reuniting instead only visiting when other things bring them to the area (time and money constraints play a role).

Gender Impact on Friendship

- Stereotyped: women more communal friendships, men more agentic...not true! - Same-sex friendships for both males and females are more similar than different. - Men and women rate the importance of both kinds of friendships equally. - At the same time, Euro-American males learn to avoid direct expressions of affection and intimacy (disclosing personal feelings, touching, hugging, etc) in their friendships with other males, due to traditional masculine gender roles. - In many other cultures, both men and women look to same-sex friends as their primary source of intimacy.

Explain "members constantly juggle multiple and sometimes competing roles"

- sibling, spouse, neice, aunt, etc simultaneously. - each role carries varying expectations and demands.

Explain Friendship Across the Lifespan

- Up to 4th grade: most children look to their family as their sole source of emotional support - Adolescence: slowly transfer emotional attachment from family to friends. - Early Adulthood: for college students friends are the primary relationship for fulfilling relational needs - Middle Adulthood: typically long term relationships and having children. So romantic partners and children become the primary providers of companionship, affection and support. Importance of friendship begins to wane (especially for married men, who had many friends before marriage) - Late in Life: pattern shifts back as spouses and siblings pass on and children form their own families. * For elderly, friendships are the most important relationships for providing social support and intimacy.

Cultural Impact on Friendship

- Westerners: believe that friendships don't endure, that you'll naturally lose some friends and gain others over time. - Other cultures: people view friendship as deeply intimate and lasting. * Ex: when asked to identify their closest relationship...Euro-Americans chose romantic partners, which Japanese chose friends.

Explain how friendship is "characterized by self-disclosure"?

- What distinguishes acquaintances from friends...self-disclosure. - self-disclosure b/w friends means being able to share private thought and feelings, believing that "we can tell each other anything". - more you disclose the more you consider that person a friend and vice versa. - defining feature of friendship

Explain "families may share genetic material"

- can lead to shared physical characteristics, similar personalities, outlooks on life, mental abilities and ways of relating to others.

Explain Step-family transition

- common challenge - adolescents tend to have more difficulty transitioning into step-families than per-adolescents and young adults. - children in step-families: more frequent behavioral problems, turbulent relationships and lower self-esteem. - majority confront similar challenges: negotiating new family privacy rules, discrepancies in conflict mgmt style and building solidarity as a family unit.

What are the benefits of family stories?

- create a unique family identity by teaching individuals about their role in the family and about family norms, values and goals. - provide powerful images of family relationships - when people tell family stories, they typically lace their narratives with with opinions and emotions that make clear how they feel about other family members. - not just content, but the activity of storytelling that bonds families together. - often collaborate in storytelling: adding details, disagreeing, correcting discrepancies and confirming perspectives.

Explain "strong sense of family identity"

- created by how they communicate - the way you talk with family members, the stories you exchange, and even how your family deals with conflict...contribute to a shared sense of what your family is like

Explain "families use communication to define boundaries"

- define boundaries, both inside the family and to distinguish family members from outsiders. - some set many boundaries * Example: some family restrict info (don't talk about this to anyone outside the family) or physical access to family (can't marry a catholic, etc) - other families set few boundaries * Ex: welcoming neighbors and friends as unofficial members ("aunt" who is really mom's friend, etc)...or "family away from home" - if remarriage occurs and step families formed, these boundaries are renegotiated.

Explain Birth Stories

- describe the latter stages of pregnancy, childbirth and early infancy of a child. - help children understand how they fit into the family, which roles they're expected to play ("firstborns are so independent") and what they parents hope and dream for them.

Explain Cross-Sex Friendships

- dramatic increase in the last few decades. In 19th century friendships were almost exclusively same-sex. - men and women agree that through cross-sex friendships, they gain a greater understanding of how members of the other sex think, feel and behave. - For men, forming a friendship with a female provides the opportunity for greater intimacy and emotional depth than typical same-sex friendships.

Explain Sharing Activities

- friends structure their schedules to enjoy hobbies, interests and leisure activities together - But even more impt than actually spending time is the perception that each friend is willing to make time (which is why people can maintain a satisfying connection w/o spending a lot of time). - often put in the situation where we have to choose between time and activities w/ one friend vs another. - who you invest your time with can lead to the perception of communicating your depth of loyalty. - To avert this, draw on your IC skills. Express gratitude for the invite and plan something for another time.

Explain "families share a history"

- may stretch back generations and feature members from an array of cultures - history often sets expectations for how members should behave - common future: plan to maintain bonds indefinitely. - everything you say and do becomes a part of family history and shapes future interactions + determines whether family relationships are healthy or destructive.

Explain "emotional bonds underlying family relationships are intense and complex"

- members typically hold both warm and antagonistic feelings toward each other. - elemental quality that touches the deepest layers of our inner life and stirs our most primitive emotional responses (i.e. think of emotions when arguing or celebrating with a family member...intense)

Explain Betrayal

- most common reason for ending a friendship - Ex: breaking confidences, backstabbing, spreading rumors, gossip and lying. - Friends who are betrayed feel an overwhelming sense of relationship devaluation and loss (like when romantic partners breakup)

Explain Romance b/w Friends

- most powerful cue of this desire is increased flirting. - strongest indicator of whether or not a friendship can successfully transition to romance is whether the friends already possess romantic beliefs that link friendship with love. - more likely to be friends after romance, but tend to be less close than friends who were always platonic.

Explain how friendship is "driven by shared interests"

- similarity is the primary force that draws us to our friends. - when interests and activities change, so do your friendships. - some friendships will endure (shifting to new points of commonality), but others will fade - one of the most common reasons for friendships ending is a change in shared interests and beliefs

Explain how friendship is "rooted in liking"?

- we feel affection and respect for our friends. - pleasure in sharing time together is a defining feature in friendship. - At the same time, b/c it is rooted in liking (rather than love) we're not as emotionally attached to them (compared w/ intimates), and we aren't as emotionally demanding as a result.

Explain "friendship is voluntary"

- we have greater liberty in choosing our friends than we do in choosing partners for any other relationship type (family, work, romantic, etc) - whether a friendship forms is dependent of the people involved and their mutual desire to create such a relationship.

List the most common friendship challenges

1. Betrayal 2. Geographic Separation 3. Attraction

What are the most important functions friendships serve in our lives?

1. Companionship: chances to do fun things together and receive emotional support. 2. Achieve Practical Goals: help us deal with problems or everyday tasks. * Not mutually exclusive; many friendships supply both

List the possible family communication patterns

1. Consensual 2. Pluralistic 3. Protective 4. Laissez-faire

List the most common family story types

1. Courtship Stories 2. Birth Stories 3. Survival Stories

List the most common cross-category friendships

1. Cross-Sex 2. Cross-Orientation 3. Intercultural 4. Interethnic

How to transition from friends to romance and/or back again?

1. Expect difference - different demands, commitment and corresponding emotional intensity 2. Emphasize Disclosure - to reduce the wonder of "where this is going", share your feelings in an open and honest fashion and encourage your partner to do the same. 3. Offer Assurances - let them know that friends or lovers you'll stand by them.

How do we keep friendships alive?

1. Following friendship Rules 2. By using maintenance strategies

Ways to ease the step-family transition?

1. Go slow, but start early. - Take time to build close ties to step-family members, just as you would with any other relationship by having fun and doing things together. 2. Practice Daily Maintenance - displaying affection, attending important activities and events, engaging in everyday talk, and sharing humorous stories are behaviors fundamental to all families. Try doing some of these each day. 3. Create new family rituals - step-family rituals: events or activities shared b/w step-family members that fx to define the group as a family. (Ex: dinner, church, etc) 4. Avoid Triangulating Family Members 5. Be patient - 3-5 yrs to stabilize as a family unit

Challenges associated with inter-cultural friendships

1. Overcoming differences in language - Incorrect interpretation of messages can lead to misunderstandings, uncertainty, frustration and conflict. 2. Overcoming differences in cultural beliefs 3. Negative Stereotypes

List the three most important strategies for maintaining family relationships and why are these important?

1. Positivity 2. Assurances 3. Self-disclosure - we have a tendency to believe "family will always be there for us" and so we often treat them less favorably than we treat individuals who have no biological or legal connection to us

How to deal with parental favoritism?

1. Realize it isn't the favored child's fault. 2. Carefully consider whether it is worth confronting your parents. - Not typically a positive outcome. - can cause a rift - they may defend their behavior Instead focus on maintaining your sibling relationship by regularly practicing positivity, assurances and self-disclosure.

How can you improve your family privacy rules?

1. Remember that all families have approved and taboo conversation topics, certain viewpoint they promote over others and poeple whom they include or exclude from receiving info about the family. 2. Be respectful of the varying opinions and preferences individual family members have regarding openness vs protection. 3. If you believe your family rules should be altered avoid abrupt, dramatic and demanding calls for change. (Talk to one family member and build from there)

How do friends cope with attraction?

1. Repress the attraction - most commonly out of respect for the friendship. - engage in mental mgmt: do things to actively manage how they think about each other so the attraction diminishes. - avoidance of flirting, curtailing activities, etc 2. Act on the attraction by developing a full-fledged romantic involvement 3. Friends w/ Benefits Arrangement

List Maintenance Strategies for Friends

1. Sharing Activities 2. Self-Disclosure

List the friendship rules

1. Show support. 2. Seek support 3. Respect Privacy 4. Keep confidences 5. Defend your friends 6. Avoid public criticism 7. Make your friends happy 8. Manage jealousy 9. Share humor 10. Maintain equity

List the six characteristics that distinguish families from other social groups

1. Strong sense of family identity 2. Use communication to define boundaries 3. Emotional bonds underlying family relationships are intense and complex 4. Share a history 5. May share genetic material 6. Members constantly juggle multiple and sometimes competing roles

What makes a friend a best friend?

1. Typically same-sex 2. Involve greater intimacy, more disclosure and deeper commitment 3. Count on our best friend to listen w/o judgment and to "have our back" 4. distinct from close relationships in the degree to which shared activities commit the friends to each other in substantial ways (join clubs together, sports, roommates, share spring break, etc) 5. Most impt factor: unqualified provision of identity support.

List the distinguishing characteristics of friendship

1. Voluntary 2. Driven by Shared Interests 3. Characterized by Self-Disclosure 4. Rooted in Liking 5. Volatile

Challenges involved in same-sex friendships

1. We've learned from early childhood to segregate by sex. So limited exposure and experience with these types of friendship. 2. Our society only promotes same-sex friendship and cross-sex coupling. - Surrounding friends and family will likely meet the claims that "we're just friends" with skepticism or even disapproval. 3. Often pestered to become romantically involved or encourage termination of the friendship. - Far less stable than same-sex friendships

Which friendships survive geographical distance?

1. the two people feel a particularly strong liking (affection and respect for each other) 2. they also except change as a natural part of life and their relationship (when you get together after a while your friend will have most likely changed possibly appearance, profession, etc) 3. Strong sense of shared history. 4. Use technology to regularly communicate and focus on activities and interests you share (alleviates feeling of loss that comes with inability to actually spend time together). 5. Remind your long-distance friend that you still think of them and miss them. 6. When you see that they are going through dramatic life changes offer support.

Why do FWB Relationships form?

1. welcome the lack of commitment 2. want to satisfy sexual need

Define Family

A network of people who: - share their lives over long periods of time - bound by marriage, blood or commitment - consider themselves as family - who share a significant history - anticipated future of functioning in a family relationship. * Why such a broad definition? Enormous diversity in contemporary families. No "typical" form. - what matters most is not the "type of family you have, but whom you consider part of your family in terms of love, respect and communication.

Explain Self-disclosure for Maintaining Friendships

All friendships are created and maintained through the discussion of thoughts, feelings and daily life events. - To foster disclosure, routinely make time just to talk, encouraging them to share thoughts and feelings, whether online or face to face. - Balance openness vs protection. - Over time, most friends learn that communication about certain issues, topics or even people is best avoided to protect the relationship and preclude conflict (perfectly healthy as long as both friends agree on the boundaries)

What is the most difficult barrier for inter-ethnic friendships?

Attributional and Perception Errors - let our own biases and stereotypes stop us from having open, honest and comfortable interactions w/ people from other ethnic groups - might be overly concerned with the "correct" way to interact that you come off as awkward.

Which two relational dialects are most prevalent?

Autonomy vs Connection Openness vs Protection

What is one of the most powerful ways we define our collective family identity (from the inside)?

By Sharing Stories

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Explain the effect of technology on family maintenance

Families typically use online and face-to-face communication in a complementary, rather than substitutive fashion. - i.e. families who communicate frequently via email also frequently communicate on the phone, etc. - email is the dominant electronic way families communicate. - use email to maintain positivity, provide assurance and self-disclosure. - biggest advantage...being able to get in touch with family at any time.

What are the effects of parental favoritism?

Favored Sibling: - b/c favored children garner more of their parents' resources, they are more likely than their siblings to be professionally successful adults. - greater sense of well-being & life satisfaction Relational Consequences for Siblings: - feel and express substantially less warmth and more hostility toward one another - siblings tend to be substantially less close and report more conflict. true regardless of family size, gender of siblings or the family's ethnicity.

Define FWB Relationships

Friendships negotiated to include sexual activity but not with the purpose of transforming the relationship in a romantic attachment. - Approx. 50% of college students have had such a relationship - Typically develop a set of rules...safe sex, frequency, no falling in love, etc. - Majority fail, costing the participants their original friendship and the sex. - Why? Most develop feelings and find that this relationship doesn't satisfy them emotionally.

Define Consensual Families

High in Conversation and Conformity - members are encouraged to opening share their views as well as debate beliefs. - but expected to shared a single viewpoint. Only one perspective (the parent's) is acceptable. - communication: high disclosure, attentive listening and frequent expressions of caring, concern and support. - view conflict as intensely threatening. They address conflicts as they occur and seek to resolve them as constructively as possible to preserve family.

Define Pluralistic Family

High in Conversation; Low in Conformity - communicate in open and unconstrained ways, discussing a broad range of topics and exploring them in depth. - judge arguments on merit, rather than how they mesh with other member's attitudes. - typically don't try to control other family members' beliefs or attitudes. - Since parents don't feel compelled to wield power over their children, children's contributions to family discussions and decision making are treated as relevant and equally valid. - deal with conflict directly seeking to resolve disputes in productive, mutually beneficial ways. - might establish "official" times to vent their concerns and work collaboratively to settle them

Explain Protective Families

Low in Conversation; High in Conformity - communication fx's to maintain obedience and enforce family norms and little value is placed on the exchange of ideas or development of communication skill. - Parent-child power differences are firmly enforced and children are expected to quietly obey. - Avoid conflict b/c it threatens conformity and b/c they often lack skills necessary to manage it constructively.

Explain Triangulation

Loyalty conflicts that arise when a coalition is formed, uniting on family member with another against a third member. - most frequent and perplexing problem in step-family transition - Two common forms: 1. children feeling caught b/w custodial and non-custodial parents. 2. step-parents feeling caught b/w children in their step-family.

Are family stories always positive?

No. - some criticize family values, condemn specific member's actions or discourage dissent. - may involve histories of abandonment, abuse or parental oppression - and corresponding lessons on how not to parent.

Define relational dialects

Opposing tensions between ourselves and our feelings toward others that exist in interpersonal relationships.

Define Inter-parental Conflict

Overt, hostile interactions between parents in a household. - associated with children's social problems including lower levels of play with peers and lower friendship quality. - children are likely to imitate their parents' destructive interaction styles and consequently are more at risk for aggressive and delinquent behaviors. - most devastating effect is relational. Adolescents in these situations report feelings of jealousy and fears of abandonment in their romantic relationships - negatively impacts late teen and adult perceptions of interpersonal trust, love attitudes, sexual behaviors, relationship beliefs, cohabitation and attitudes toward marriage and divorce.

How to balance autonomy vs connection

Sharing Tasks - balance your dependence on family members to help you carry out everyday chores with a reliance on yourself and people outside the family. - too much dependance on family (especially for things you can do yourself) can erode your self-reliance, self-confidence & independence. Creating Social Networks - assess the degree to which family members constitute the closest people in your life. A balance b/w family relationships and outside relationships is ideal. - having no close ties to anyone besides family can make you feel overly dependent. - having no close ties to family can create a sense of independence so extreme that you feel little emotional bond with family.

Define and explain communal friendships

Voluntary relationships focused on sharing time and activities together. - try to get together as much as possible - provide encouragement and emotional support during times of need - b/c emotional support is the central aspect of communal friendship, it only endures when the support goes both ways. - compared to family/romantic, friendships are the least task oriented and more focused around leisure activities (talking, eating, etc)

Define and explain agentic friendships

Voluntary relationships primarily focused on achieving specific practical goals. - value sharing time together but only if they are available and have no other priorities to handle at the moment. - aren't interested in the emotional interdependence and mutual sharing of personal information that characterize communal friendships. - available when the need arises, but uncomfortable with more personal demands or responsibilities - Ex: exams, fix cars, set up computers, etc

Define Cross-Category Friendships

Voluntary relationships that cross demographic lines. - powerful way to break down ingroupers and outgroupers perceptions and purge people of negative stereotypes.

Explain Courtship Stories

about how the parents fell in love. - emphasize solidarity of the parents' relationship, which children find reassuring. - more importantly, they give children a framework for understanding romantic love, by suggesting what one should feel about love and how to recognize it.

Define Valued Social Identities

aspects of your public self that you deem the most important in defining who you are Ex: musician, athlete, dancer, teacher, mother, etc.

Explain how attraction poses a relationship challenge?

attraction to one another beyond friendship: romantic, sexual, or both. - men typically report more of a desire for romantic involvement with platonic friends (87% of women and 93% of men) - always a challenge in cross-sex friendships even when no attraction exists, because people in their surrounding networks presume an attraction will exist. - Friends who feel attracted to one another: - typically report feelings of uncertainty: both regarding the nature of their relationship and whether or not their friend feels the same way

Define Identity Support

behaving in ways that convey understanding, acceptance and support for a friend's valued social identities.

Explain High Conversation Orientation

believe that open and frequent communication is essential to an enjoyable and rewarding family life. - interact often, freely and spontaneously without many limitations placed on time spent together and topics discussed.

Explain Low Conformity Families

communicate in ways that emphasize diversity in attitudes, beliefs and values and that encourage members uniqueness, individuality and independence. - typically view outside relationships as equally important to those within family - prioritize individual over family interests and goals. - children contribute to family decision making and members view the family as a vehicle for individual growth.

Explain Family Privacy Rules

conditions governing what family members can talk about, how they can discuss such topics and who should have access to family-relevant info.

Define Co-habiting Couples

consists of two unmarried, romantically involved adults living together in a household, with or without children. - steadily increasing...partly due to increase in cohabitation among middle-aged and older adults many of whom are divorced and now want relational flexibility. - common for many years in poorer, less-industrialized countries.

Define Conformity Orientation

degree to which families believe that communication should emphasize similarity or diversity in attitudes, beliefs and values.

Define Conversation Orientation

degree to which family members are encouraged to participate in unrestrained interaction about a wide array of topics.

Explain Spillover Hypothesis

emotions, affect and mood from the parental relationship "spill over" into the broader family, disrupting children's sense of emotional security - children experience chronic sense of instability, which manifests in their own intimate involvements, months and even years later.

Define Friendship Rules

general principles that prescribe appropriate communication and behavior within friendship relationships - both men and women endorse these rules and adherence to them distinguishes happy from unhappy friendships. - Not adhering to these rules could even cost you your friends

Define Single-Parent Family

household in which one adult has the sole responsibility to be the children's caregiver. - 27% of US Children & 16% of Canadian Children

Explain how friendship is "volatile"?

less stable, more likely to change and easier to break off than family or romantic relationship. - Why? We're bonded to friends by choice, rooted in shared interests. But we're bonded to families by social and legal commitment and to lovers by deep emotional and sexual attachment

Explain Assurances

let them know that you consider your relationship with each of them unique/valuable and that you are committed to maintaining these bonds well into the future. - Avoid devaluing family relationships in front of others and commenting on how other families are superior to yours.

Explain Laissez-faire families

low in conversation; low in conformity - few emotional bonds exist between members resulting in low levels of caring, concern and support expression w/i family. - detachment shows itself in lack of interaction and a decided disinterest in activities that might foster communication or maintenance of family unit. - believe children should be independent thinkers and decision makers, but it derives from a disinterest in their children's thoughts and decisions. * leave it up to children to form opinions on sexual behavior, drugs, alcohol, etc - few conflicts; but if they arise they avoid or compete to "win".

Explain the different types of families that exist today

may include children or not; have one parent or two; be headed by heterosexual, lesbian, gay, bisexual or trans-gendered people; include other relatives such as grandparents, stepparents and step-siblings; or any other combo you can imagine.

Explain Positivity

means communicating with your family in an upbeat and hopeful fashion. - to implement...start doing favors for your family w/o being asked and unexpectedly gift them in small ways to show you care. - Avoid complaining about family problems that have no solution; ridiculing family members, whining when you don't get you way and demanding favored treatment. - most powerful maintenance tactic.

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Define Family Stories

narrative accounts shared repeatedly within a family that retell historical events and are meant to bond the family together.

Principle reason for homophobia?

personal and societal. - Straight persons may feel reluctant to pursue such friendships b/c they fear being associated with members of a marginalized group. - Fewest cross-orientation friendships? Straight Men...in fact avg is 0. - This may perpetuate homophobic sentiments, because these men are never exposed to LGBTQ people who might amend their negative attitudes.

Explain Survival Stories

relate the coping strategies that family members have used to deal with major challenges. - may be physical (soldier, famine victims, etc) - may refer to family members ability to prevail by achieving a level of financial stability or other forms of success. - give children the sense that they come from a tough, persevering family, which prepares them to face their own difficulties.

Explain Self-disclosure

sharing your private thoughts and feelings with family members and allowing them to do the same without fear of betrayal. - treat other family members in ways that are consistent, trustworthy and ethical. - To implement...take time out of your schedule to talk to members about how they are doing; encouraging them to share feelings and concerns. - Avoid communication practices that undermine disclosure...betraying confidences, refusing to make time for family, reacting defensively, disparaging family members viewpoints and hiding things.

Explain Communication Privacy Mgmt Theory

states individuals create informational boundaries by carefully choosing the kind of private info they reveal and the people with whom they share it. - these boundaries are constantly shifting. - more comfortable = more disclosure and vice versa.

Explain Entrance Stories

stories that adoptive parents create about how and why the children entered their adoptive families. - important in providing the child with a sense of personal identity and self-esteem. - help heal the broken bond with birth parents, by giving the child an explanation of why the adoption occurred (mother made the decision to give you up so you could have a better life, etc)

Most commonly we befriend...

those who are similar demographically. - age, gender, economic status, culture, religion, etc

Explain High Conformity Families

use their interactions to highlight and enforce uniformity of though. - sometime perceived as more "traditional", because children are expected to obey parents and other elders, who (in turn) are counted on to make family decisions. - tend to prioritize family relationships over outside connections (friends/romantic partners) - expected to sacrifice personal goals for family.

Explain Low Conversation Orientation

view interpersonal communication as something irrelevant and unnecessary for a satisfying successful family life. - interact infrequently and limit conversation to a few topics - weather, daily activities, current events, etc - disclosure of intimate thoughts and feelings between members is discouraged, as is debate of attitudes and perspectives.

Define Friendship

voluntary interpersonal relationship characterized by intimacy and liking. - impt source of emotional security & self-esteem - facilitates a sense of belonging when we are young, helps solidify our identity during adolescence and provides satisfaction and social support when we are elderly.

Explain openness vs protection as it relates to family

we face frequent decisions regarding how openly we should communicate with other family members; as well as how much info about our families we should share with those outside the family unit. In any close relationship, we want both to share personal info and to protect ourselves from the possible negative consequences of such sharing. - Ex: you may be really close to one family member and want to share info with them, but you know that in a week the entire family will know.