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How can you successfully transition from friendship to romance, or back again?

Expect difference, emphasize disclosure, offer assurances

(T/F) Social media friends are automatically real friends

False

How can you better manage friendship betrayal when it occurs?

If it's a friendship of any closeness, expect to experience grief as you suffer the loss of trust, intimacy, and the image of your friend you once held dear

Which friendships tend to survive geographic distance, and which lapse?

In friendships that survive, the two people feel a particularly strong liking—affection and respect—for each other

Why do FWB relationships fail

Participants tend to develop romantic feelings despite their best efforts to avoid them, and many decide that the FWB relationship doesn't satisfy them enough emotionally

Challenges in building cross-sex relationships

People learn from early childhood to segregate themselves by sex and people often mistake the relationship for something more

10 friendship rules that people share across cultures

Show support Seek support Respect privacy Keep confidences Defend your friends Avoid public criticism Make your friends happy Manage jealousy Share humor Maintain equity

________ is the primary force that draws us to our friends

Similarity

interethnic friendship

a bond between people who share the same cultural background but who are of different ethnic groups

Many friends who develop an attraction opt to pursue

a romantic relationship

Friendship

a voluntary interpersonal relationship characterized by intimacy and liking

We consider most people in our lives ________

acquaintances

Physical separation prevents friends from

adequately satisfying the needs that form the foundation of their relationship

In the United States and Canada, men's friendships are thought to be

agentic

Most cross-sex friendships (are/are not) motivated by sexual attraction

are not

Agentic friends (are/aren't) interested in the emotional interdependence and mutual sharing of personal information

aren't

The most difficult barriers people face in forming interethnic friendships are

attributional and perceptual errors

Identity support

behaving in ways that convey understanding, acceptance, and support for a friend's valued social identities

Friendship facilitates a sense of _______ when we're young, and helps solidify our identity during adolescence

belonging

(Best/close) friendship involves greater intimacy, more disclosure, and deeper commitment than its counterpart

best

When we consider all the various friendships that arise and decay, two stand out from the rest as unique, challenging, and significant

best friends and cross-category friends

______ is the most commonly reported reason for ending a friendship

betrayal

Acts of friendship betrayal include

breaking confidences, backstabbing (criticizing a friend behind his or her back), spreading rumors or gossip, and lying

Companionship

chances to do fun things together and receive emotional support

Friends who overcome separation also accept ___ as a natural part of life and their relationship

change

The importance we attribute to our friendships (remains stable/changes) throughout our lives

changes

In the United States and Canada, for instance, friendships between women are often stereotyped as

communal

Your decisions regarding with whom you invest your time will often be perceived by friends as

communicating depth of loyalty

Studies of male friendships in North America have found that _______ is the primary need met by the relationship

companionship

Two of the most important functions that friendships serve are

companionship and helping achieve practical goals

With all this technology, people (fail/continue) to recognize the superiority of offline relationships and communication

continue

For straight men and women, forming a cross-orientation friendship can help

correct negative stereotypes about persons of other sexual orientations and the LGBTQ community as a whole

The four most common cross-category friendships are

cross-sex, cross-orientation, intercultural, and interethnic.

Similar to cross-orientation and intercultural friendships, interethnic friendships boost

cultural awareness and commitment to diversity

achieve practical goals

deal with problems or everyday tasks

Additionally, people prefer face-to-face interactions with friends when discussing

deeply personal or troubling topics

The defining characteristic of intercultural interactions is

difference

mental management

doing things to actively manage how you think about the other so that the attraction is diminished

Westerners believe that friendships (do/don't) endure

don't

But even more important than the actual sharing of activities is the perception that

each friend is willing to make time for the other

Friendship is an important source of

emotional security and self-esteem

Because friendships are rooted in liking—rather than love—we're not as

emotionally attached to as emotionally demanding of them

People who develop a close interethnic friendship become less prejudiced toward

ethnicities of all types as a result

The majority of FWB relationships (succeed/fail)

fail

Both men and women report that being able to ______ is the defining feature of friendship

freely and deeply disclose

We have greater liberty in choosing our _____ than we do in choosing partners for any other relationship type

friends

When asked to identify the closest relationship in their lives, Japanese tend to select

friends

For much of our lives, _____ are the most important close relationships we have

friendships

For the elderly, ______ are the most important relationships for providing social support and intimacy

friendships

cross-orientation friendship

friendships between lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgendered, or queer (LGBTQ) people and straight men or women

Intercultural friendship

friendships between people from different cultures or countries

Agentic friendships

friendships in which the parties focus primarily on helping each other achieve practical goals

Cross-category friendships

friendships that cross demographic lines

Communal friendships

friendships that focus primarily on sharing time and activities together

Friendship beliefs and practices across cultures are also entangled with

gender norms

friendship rules

general principles that prescribe appropriate communication and behavior within friendship relationships

Moreover, friendships that survive separation involve friends who have a strong sense of shared ______

history

The principal reason straight men tend to make friends with other straight men is

homophobia, both personal and societal

Both men and women agree that through cross-sex friendships, they gain a greater understanding of

how members of the other sex think, feel, and behave

Research following friendships across a four-year time span found that more than any other factor participants who initially reported high levels of _______ from a new friend were more likely to describe that person as their best friend four years later

identity support

The most important factor that distinguishes best friends is unqualified provision of

identity support

Cross-category friendships are a powerful way to break down

ingroup and outgroup perceptions and purge people of negative stereotypes

Compared to family and work relationships, friendship interactions are the (most/least) task oriented

least

Friendships tend to revolve around _____ activities

leisure

Cross-orientation friendships are (more/less) frequent in real life

less

Cross-sex friendships are far (more/less) stable than same-sex friendships

less

(Women/Men) typically report more of a desire for romantic involvement with their platonic friends

men

Friends who seek to repress attraction typically engage in

mental management

People who regularly use cell phones to call and text their friends are (less/more) likely to also seek face-to-face encounters

more

People who were friends prior to a romance are much (more/less) likely to be friends following a failed romance than those who were not friends first

more

For LGBTQ persons, having a straight friend can provide

much-needed emotional and social support from outside the LGBTQ community, helping to further insulate them from societal homophobia

Studies comparing offline versus online friendships find that (online/offline) friendships have higher degrees of intimacy, understanding, interdependence, and commitment

offline

Intercultural friendship challenges

overcoming differences in language and cultural beliefs, as well as negative stereotypes

One of the most radical shifts in interpersonal relationship patterns over the past few decades has been the increase in

platonic (nonsexual) friendships between men and women in the United States and Canada

The strongest predictor of whether someone will have an intercultural friendship is

prior intercultural friendships

As with romantic and family relationships, it's important to balance openness in self-disclosure with

protection

Communication technologies have caused people to forge friendships (quicker/slower)

quicker and with more people

Similar to romantic betrayal, friends who are betrayed experience an overwhelming sense of

relationship devaluation and loss

Friends negotiate communicative boundaries that allow their time together and communication shared to

remain positive

Friends cope with attraction by doing one of three things

repressing, developing a romantic involvement, or making a friends-with-benefits arrangement

One of the strongest predictors of whether or not a friendship can successfully transition to romance is simply whether the friends already possess

romantic beliefs that link friendship with love

When asked to identify the closest relationship in their lives, Euro-Americans tend to select ______

romantic partners

Most partners in FWB relationships develop ___ regarding emotional attachment, communication, and sex

rules

Best friends are typically (same-sex/cross-sex)

same-sex

Friends provide essential emotional ______

security

Best friendship is distinct from close friendship in the degree to which

shared activities commit the friends to each other in substantial ways

One of the most common reasons for friendships ending is a change in

shared interests and beliefs (Miller et al., 2007).

Two important ways you can maintain your friendships are

sharing activities and being open in your communication with your friends

By far, the group that has the fewest cross-orientation friendships is

straight men

The first and most powerful cue of attraction is a radical increase in

the amount of time the friends spend flirting with each other

Valued social identities

the aspects of your public self that you deem the most important in defining who you are

friends-with-benefits" (FWB) relationship

the participants engage in sexual activity, but not with the purpose of transforming the relationship into a romantic attachment

Whether a friendship forms is determined largely by

the people involved, based on their mutual desire to create such a relationship

Those who form FWB relationships do so for two reasons

they welcome the lack of commitment (and all its attendant sacrifices), and they want to satisfy sexual needs

Agentic friends value sharing time together—but only if

they're available and have no other priorities at the moment

Friends who feel attracted to each other typically report high _____ as a result

uncertainty (regarding both the nature of their relationship and whether or not their friend feels the same way)

Characteristics of friendship

voluntary, driven by shared interests, self-disclosure, rooted in liking, and volatile