COMMUNICATIONS
Rigid Verbal messages
"I'm always right!" - Hannah Flansburg
The 5 characteristics of communication
1. (Aware) of communication with yourself and others 2. Effectually use and interpret (verbal) messages 3. Effectually us and interpret (nonverbal) messages 4. (Listen and respond) thoughtfully to others 5. Appropriately (adapt) messages to others
What are the 3 stages of the perception process?
1. Attention and Selection 2. Organization 3. Interpretation Example: 1. Watching tv and you hear laughter, then choosing to ignore the tv to listen more closely to where the laughter is coming from. 2. Realizing th laughter is coming from your sister who is on the phone. 3. Further realizing that you sister is talking to her boyfriend because she only laughs like that around him.
Components of Self-Concept
1. Attitude: What you're most likely to change. Likes/Dislikes 2. Beliefs: How you structure reality. True/ False 3. Value: Least likely to change. Concept of Right/ Wrong
Concrete vs Abstract
1. Concrete: Meaning that refers to something that can b perceived with one of the senses. see, touch, smell, taste, or hear it. 2. Abstract: Can't be experience with ones senses. Love. Wonder. Freedom.
Difference between connotative and denotative
1. Connotative: Personal meaning of a word. You think about a certain word and how it relates in your life. 2. Denotative: Literal meaning.
Five ways words have power
1. Create and label experiences 2. Communicate feelings 3. Affect thoughts and actions: certain names affect how we think of them. 4. Shape culture 5. Make and break relationships
What affects self esteem?
1. Gender 2. Social Comparisons 3. Self Expectations 4. Self Fulfilling prophecy
What are 3 ways to improve your perception skills?
1. Increase Awareness 2. Avoid Stereotypes 3. Check your perceptions
Know the difference between Interpersonal, Impersonal, Group, and Presentational communication
1. Interpersonal: helps strengthen relationships. treating others like a one of a kind human 2. Impersonal: treat people as objects. Ex. Asking a waitress for more water. 3. Group: collection of people who have a common goal and influence each other. 4. Presentational: Speaker addresses a gathering of people to inform them.
How do we develop Self-Concept?
1. Our communication with others. (other's perceptions) 2. Association with groups. Ex. Choir, Band, Yearbook 3. Roles we assume. Ex. Mother, Daughter, 4. Self Labels: terms we use to describe ourselves
What positively affects Self Esteem?
1. Positive Self Talk 2. Visualization seeing yourself succeed 3. Reframe: look at the big picture. (failing one business calc test does not make you stupid or mean you're going to fail at life)
3 Barriers to listening
1.Self barrier- Emotional noise, criticizing the person your talking to in your head (mind wander) 2Info processing- Information overload Shifting attention,cultural differences, and Receiver apprehension- fear of not understanding the info like in calculus, 3Context barrier- environment not fit for listening ie too early, noisy, or cold(get tired and lose focus)
The 6 Functions of nonverbal communication
1Substitute for verbal messages (middle finger can represent FU) 2Complement verbal messages (using your middle finger while saying FU) 3Contradict verbal messages (Using your middle finger, but saying I love you) 4Repeating verbal messages (Saying four then holding up the number 4 on your hands) 5Regulating conversation (keeping eye contact lets the other person know you want to continue communicating) 6Accenting verbal messages (why are you SLEEPING in my class!)
How to respond with empathy 4 steps
1Understand feelings 2ask appropriate questions 3paraphrase message content- summarize message 4paraphrase their emotions- summaraize what are they feeling
Superior Verbal Messages
Acting superior to an other individual
Non Verbals are Continuous
Always happening
Non Verbal Codes
Appearance Body Movements* Gesture/posture* (*=Kinesics>affected by self esteem/emotional state) Eye contact Facial Expressions Haptics>touch Vocalics>pitch rate volume silence Physical Environment>shapes who you are Space (Personal Space) Territory(the seat you sit in>its not yours)
High context culture
Asian arab and southern europian nonverbal cues are very important
Flexible Verbal Messages
Be willing to admit your wrong
Genuine Verbal Messages
Be yourself, consider the uniqueness of each person
Uncertainty Culture
Comfortable with less info
What are the 3 models of communication?
Communication as action: source to receiver. no reply Communication as interaction: source to receiver and back Communication as transaction: constant flow
6 behavioral stages of intercultural communication competance
Denial (belief that the other cultures dont exist yours is the only one that's right) Defense (realize that other cultures exist but believe that theirs is the best) Minimization (treating all cultures the same and not adapting to the differences) Acceptance (acceptance of different cultures ways of behavior(ethnocentism deminishes) Adaptation Integration
Know difference between Indirect and Direct perception checking
Direct: Asking someone what they meant indirect: looking for cues to see if you're correct. Body lang etc
Equal Verbal Messages
Dont try to sound better than others
Controlling Verbal Messages
Example: "Take out the trash" is a command, instead say "would you mind helping me with the trash?"
NVC Rule Governed
Expectations for non verbal communication (not getting in someones personal space)
Short term orientation time culture
Focus on the history present value tradition
Empathetic Verbal Messages
Giving appropriate emotional feed back to the other person, try to understand what they are going through
Androgynous Traits
Having both masculine and feminine traits
Manipulative verbal messages
Having hidden agendas
Hearing vs listening
Hearing- not paying attention just acknowledging that there is something going on Listening- Really focusing on what the person is saying
Adaptor
Helps person addapt/ respond to a situation (nervous tics) like hannah scratching her thumb... bad girl
Collective Culture
High Values on communalism
What is the Sapir Whorf hypothesis?
Human language and thought are so interrelated that thought is actually rooted and controlled by language. You can't grasp something you don't have a word for.
Self Concept
Interior identity of who you think you are. The way we describe ourselves to others.
Evaluative Verbal Messages
Message that Evaluates what the other persons doing (attacking them)
Descriptive Verbal Messages
Message that describes how you feel to the other person (lets the other person know what they've done wrong by how you feel)
Feminine approach to commmunication
More Expressive, connecting with other, Quality of relationships and have more attention to nonverbal Men communicate to report women communicate to build rapport
Masculine approach to communication
More instrumental- focus on assertiveness, content, and have more attention to verbal than nonverbal
Illustrators
NV behavior that accompanies a verbal message that compliments/accents/contradicts the verbal message
Affect Display
NV behavior that communicates emotion. Face shows kind of emotion and the body shows how much
Emblems
NV code that has specific understood meaning in a given culture that substitutes for a word or prhrase (putting finger over your mouth to tell people to be quiet)
Non verbals are multi channeled
Non verbals cues register on our senses from a variety of sources simultaneously, you can only attend to one non verbal at a time.
Regulator
Nonverbal behavior that helps control the interaction or level of communication between people. Shows eagerness to participate.
Certainty Culture
Not comfortable with little info, want to be in the know
NVC Ambiguous
Not expressing non verbals clearly(stone cold face)
Centralized culture
Power is in the hands of a few people
Decentralized Culture
Power spread out through gov and organizations
5 barriers to bridging communication differences
Prejudice assuming superiority assuming similarity assuming differences stereotyping
4 Types of Litening Styles
Relational- emotions Analytical- facts, with hold judgement Critical- Facts, focus on accuracey and errors Task oriented- focus on taking action and problem solving
Components of communications process
Source- encodes Receiver- decodes Message Channel Noise Feedback Context: communication environment. physical, historical, psycological
Detached Verbal Messages
Stone faced, no emotion towards the other person
Masculine Culture
Value achievement, heroism, wealth, traditional sex roles
Feminine culture
Value relationships and caring for others
Bypassing language
When the same word means different things to different people.
Long term orientation time culture
Work towards the future, Value perseverance and thrift
Self Esteem
Your assessment of your worth as reflected in your perception of such things as skills, abilities, talents, and appearance.
Intercultural communication competance
being able to adapt your behavior in ways that are appropriate to other peoples culture
Individualistic Culture
focus on individual achievement
Problem Solving Verbal Messages
help them solve the problem don't tell them to solve the problem Example: "What seems to be the problem?" can lead to you helping them solve the problem where as "This is how you do it" is commanding and not helpful
NVC culture bound
in different cultures signs and symbols can mean different things
Space- put in order personal, public, intimate, social
intimate(hug) personal(close conversation) social(with classmates in school) public(giving a speech in an auditorium)
Low Context Cultures
north america, scandinavia and germany focus on language
Non verbals are Non linguistic
not conforming to language (they don't always mean the same thing)
5 steps of listening
selecting attending understanding remembering responding
4 forms of human diversity
sex and gender- sexuality is learned and socially reinforced Sexual orientation- gay straigh and transgender Age Ethnicity
Gunnysacking?
using someone's past mistakes and referring to them in a current situation.