Effective Communication and the Power of Listenting

Stage 2: Understanding

1. Attempt to learn the meaning of the message. If speaker doesn't enunciate clearly, it may difficult to understand and we may attach our own meanings due to our experience/background 2.Look for places where our perception differs from speaker. If understanding has been inaccurate, recollection of the message will be inaccurate too

Requirements of "Active" Listening

1. Attitude : Maintain a constructive attitude. Keep an open mind 2. Attention: Strive to pay attention 3. Adjustment: Adjust prejudice and bias, dont judge, be flexible 4. Empathy : Reflect on feelings

Second Axiom - Content & Relationship

1. Content refers to the actual subject matter of what is being discussed. 2.The relationship level of a communicative act has to do with how the two communicators view one another and how they convey it. 3. If you call someone a "loser," the word means one thing if the person is a close friend, but can mean an entirely different thing if it's a casual acquaintance.

Bad Listening Habits

1. Criticize subject or speaker 2. Tolerate distraction 3. Listen for facts

Fourth Axiom: (Digital vs. Analogic)

1. Digital elements are things with concrete, fairly universally understood meanings, such as words or certain gestures that have literal translations. Ex: Tell to "sit down" or that "they are short" 2. Analogic elements, however, are merely representative or referential, and they're often non-verbal. Ex: Pointing at chair to tell them to sit or holding hand to tell them they are short

Listen for "Ideas" NOT facts

1. Grasping "ideas" is the skill on which good listeners concentrates 2. Grasping the idea will help the listener remember the supporting facts more effectively than the person who goes after facts alone

Stage 4: Evaluating

1. Judging the value of message, 2. Easier to evaluate positively when speakers is clear, presents logical idea, and gives reason to supports them 3. Personal opinion might result in prejudiced evaluation

Stage 3: Remembering:

1. Listen effectively and if something distracts you, you must fill gap asap 2.Listening effectively for Highly complex messages that are filled with detail call for actions that are meaningful to you. Like taking notes, form associations etc

What is communication to you?

1. Not simply an exchange of information but an interaction between people 2. Ambiguous: what is unsaid can be as important as what is said. 3. Way of establishing ourselves and maintain credibility

Fifth Axiom: (Symmetrical vs. Complementary)

1. Symmetrical relationship: People treat each other equal 2. Complementary relationship: Unequal (Boss and employee 3. Determine course of communication and conflicts can arise when parties like status quo to change

Stage 5: Responding(Verbal) and (Nonverbal)

1. Verbal(The lips):Give Feedback and you indicate your involvement 2. Nonverbal: Signals involvement with focused attention , note taking, nodding and behaviors to indicate understanding or failure to understand. Speaker uses this to decide if additional examples or materials are needed.

Communication equation

1. What you hear(40%): Tone of voice, clarity 2. What you See or feel(50%): Facial expression, gesture 3. WORDS(10%)

Active Listening

1.Hear the words and understand meaning behind them 2. Goal: Go beyond listening to understanding. Maximize your understanding of other's perspective

Listening vs. Hearing

1.Hearing- physical process; natural; passive 2. Listening- physical & mental process; active; learned process; a skill Active, Incative, selective, reflective

Third Axiom - (Punctuation)

1.How participants in the system punctuate their communicative sequences. 2. Different punctuations make people see the sequence of events differently and may lead to endless conflicts that make pointing the finger at each other a pointless exercise.

Four Processes for Good Reception

1.The listener thinks ahead of the talker, trying to anticipate what the oral discourse is leading to and what conclusions will be drawn from the words spoken at that moment. 2. Listener weighs the evidence used by the talker to support the argument. "Is evidence valid/complete?" 3. Listener reviews and mentally summarizes the points of the talk 4. Listener "listens between the lines", i.e. paying attention to non verbal communication, to see if it adds meaning to the spoken words.

Why is it hard to concentrate while listening?

1.The problem is caused by the fact that we think must faster than we speak 2.In the act of listening, we continue to think at high speed, that means that we can listen and still have spare time for thinking. 3.This spare thinking time holds the answer to how well a person can concentrate on spoken words.

What is an Axiom?

Axioms are "universal principles" that are "widely accepted as truth". A proposition whose truth is so evident that no reasoning or demonstration can make it plainer

Stage 1: Receiving(Hearing/The Ear)

Intentional focus on hearing message by filtering out other sources so we isolate the message and we must hear the message to continue the process listening

Effective communication skill and barriers

Skills: 1. Body language, 2. Questions, 3. Silence Barriers: 1. Distraction, noise, discomfort

First Axiom - Cannot "NOT

The first axiom shows that everything one does is a message:"Activity or inactivity, words or silence all have message value: they influence others and these others, in turn, cannot not respond to these communications and are thus themselves communicating"

Process for good reception

The time between the speed at which we talk and think, leaves plenty of time to do all four mental task while listening. However, they do require PRACTICE