Friendship with god: father barry's insight

Ways to learn about god

1. prayer 2. through other people 3. scripture 4. knowing god as a person, jesus 5. through the lives of holy men and women

Parable

A simple story used to illustrate a moral or spiritual lesson the way jesus taught difficult but imporant concepts

film executive story

film executive calls martin while driving to ask about hymn suggestions for a movie stops martin mid sentence to check a text Martin says what are you doing you cant possibly be driving, talking to me, and texting (as bad as distracted driving is Martin goes on for another 2 pages ranting about cell phones)

martins jesuit friend at the airport

flight cancelled, stranded travel agent helps him book new flight says god always helps you find your way home

Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

french jesuit and paleontologist wrote about interplay between science and religion encountered god through contemplation of nature

Just as you must spend time with a _________ you must also spend time with __________

friend god

bible story of Job (pronounced Jobe)

God causes Job seemingly endless pain Job starts off as a very patient man eventually Job loses patience and curses day he was born saying he loathes his life speaks his anger to god

Martins friend with a seemingly perfect life

friend was always happy and optimistic and seemed like he had no problems one day he had a crisis and opened up to martin they became closer because of it the friends life no longer seemed perfect but martin now liked him even more honesty changed the relationship

what makes a good __________ also makes a good ___________ and that makes for ___________

friendship relationship with god a good prayer

Angel Gabriel and Mary

gabriel tells mary she is pregnant mary says how can this be i am a virgin gabriel reminds her of her barren cousin who became pregnant and says the holy spirit makes all things possible

Parables also went against the normal expectations of the audience as with..

the good Samaritan Samaritans were viewed as bad but the Samaritan was a good guy in the story

Jusus says love your neighbor, when asked who my neighbor is jesus gives the parable of...

the good Samaritan about a man who helps his neighbor in distress

Father Barry's point in the book "Prayer as a personal relationship"

the way you think about friendships can help you think about, and deepen, your relationship with God

many Catholics incorrectly believe

their relationship with god will never change

some people say they have a relationship with god but if you ask them.......

they dont actually spend time with god (praying)

martin believes we avoid silence because

we fear the "still small voice" may ask us to change

when we relate to god as a parent

we relate to him as the best possible father or mother important for people who may have been abused by own parents

Mother Theresa

"heard" god ask her to go work with the poor reluctant and scared to leave the girls school she taught at god asked will you refuse she said no i wont refuse and went to work for the poor

most common ways of listening to god in prayer

- emotions (like sorrow for wanda at the employment center moving martin to care for her, often fleeting) - insights (intellectual insight about god) - memories - feelings (less distinct than emotions) - physical feelings - desire - everyday life

what does listening to god mean (less common ways)

- seldom means actually hearing god speak few people have an experience like ignatius or mother theresa or maddy, does happen though - most people just feel god is speaking with them - may experience gods words said through a friend - sometimes answer spontaneously comes (see mother story) also rare - imagine a conversation with god and imagine his response - imagine what god would say based on what you know about god (like imagining elderly friend you know well and know how they will respond)

if you want to know more about god, learn more about...

Jesus

when asked about the kingdom of heaven

Jesus offers short stories about mustard plants, wheat and weeds, and seeds falling on rocky ground

Daniel Harrington

Professor of theology when martin was in school Found god through scripture at age 11 he stuttered and learned that mosses did too when he stutters while teaching he recites the passage about moses being slow of speech and god saying he will speak through moses

sister maddy

even when i dont hear from friends in a while i still know theyre friends when i dont hear from god in awhile i still know hes there

When Father Martin was confused David (Spiritual Director) gave him...

a book called "Prayer as a Personal Relationship" by William Barry

Baltimore Catchesim

a children's instructional catholic guide used until late 1960s sounds like a law school text book one question in book: a man named Giles leaves mass having left something out of his confession, a communist demands Giles tell him if he is catholic saying he will murder him if he is, Giles exclaims "Yes, thank God!" and is murdered by the communist? will he go directly to heaven or spend some time in purgatory? why or why not?

holy men and women are like...

a clean window through which the light of god can shine

In a sense Jesus was...

a story told by god Jesus is the parable of god

She who is

book describing god as feminine citing words used in original language scriptures, such as the hebrew word for spirit which is feminine

we need to disconnect in order to

connect with god be silent

learning about god though other people is like

discovering something new about an old friend

Jesuit scientist Guy Cosolmagno working in vatican observatory says

doctrines are not a final and complete description of god, god is bigger than religion

comparison of long car ride with friend

does your friend have to talk every minute of the ride? neither does god sometimes silence between friends is confusing but sometimes its consoling

listen to god in prayer

dont just talk

sharing anyway

god already knows your feelings but it is important to share them in prayer anyway just like when youve lost a loved one, your friends know your sad but it can be helpful for you to tell them about it Martins friend lost a brother to cancer, martin already knew friend was sad but felt honored when his friend talked to him about it

a relationship without honesty

grows cold and formal stagnates and dies

if you feel disconnected from god

guess who has moved away from whom youve neglected the relationship

silence

is part of every relationship sometimes god will be silent or seem absent

knowing god is more important than...

knowing about god

mother theresa writes about

long periods of prayer where she did not feel gods presence many people criticized her saying her faith was weak some said it was proof god did not exist

martins mother

looking out car window thinks god do you love me "more than you know" pops into her head not a voice just a spontaneous thought

Martin and Damien the spiritual director

martin tells damian he was so frustrated at gods lack of help the he curses in his prayer saying "how bout some #$%^%& god" Damian says its a good prayer because it is honest also made martin realize his relationship with god was sometimes childish bc lots of good things also happening like child telling his parents i hate you and storming off needed to rethink about how he prays

so long see you tomorrow

memories can also be bitter book cletus is ostracized because father is murderer narrator ignores former friend years later laments his actions

an over reliance on rules based religion

often leads to an image of god as a stern traffic cop children forced to memorize the Baltimore Catechism likely thought of god as a tyrant not as someone desiring a relationship with them

story about joe

old man whos job was to be an example to young men in novitiate flight delayed five hour then cancelled returned to novitiate in a good mood and martin asked "arent you angry" joe said I cant change it so whats there to be angry about (freedom, detachment, and a sense of humor dont make you a saint but theyre a good start)

mrtin has only met 2 people who said theyve heard god speak

one is maddy said when she was young god told her she was chosen to be with him said this at a retreat

prayer is

one on one time with god

learning about god is...

part of being in a relationship with god

Sister Helen

said her work with inmates on death row was like wind in a sail but prayer was like a rudder on the boat your boat needs not just sails but also a rudder

scripture of jerimiah

says god only want the best for you not trying to harm or trick you

some people stuck in a childhood relationship with god that martin has directed

see god not only as a judge but as an evil genius

honesty in prayer means

sharing things you may consider inappropriate for conversation with god like anger, god can handle anger, he's been dealing with people's anger forever

Praying to god about sadness

should also be done story about man crying in theater and sharing grief with a friend

freedom, detachment, and a sense of humor are...

signposts on the road to holiness

martin and david Donovan

silent prayer sometimes drives martin crazy told david i sit for an hour to pray and nothing happens its a waste of time david says is it really martin laughs and says no time with god is never a waste of time

Elijah bible sroy

sits in a cave waiting to hear god wind, not god earthquake, not god fire, not god "still small voice", covers face bc it is god

Letting yourself be known by god means the same thing it does in a friendship...

speaking about your life, sharing your feelings, and revealing yourself openly honesty is an important part of this process

martins sister

tell her children "you have two ears and one mouth for a reason, listening is more important than talking"

martin memories story

worried he will be lonely as a celibate man prays about it all the sudden memories of good jesuit friends come to him and remind him he is not alone

praying about sexual desire

yep you should do this too either about how great it is to be alive or if relationship inappropriate/impossible pray about your struggle

anything you can say about Jesus...

you can say about god jesus embodied god so humans can know god better

on the day you cease to change

you cease to live