Habit 6 Covey

Valuing the differences is the essence of synergy -- the mental, the emotional, the psychological differences between people.

And the key to valuing those differences is to realize that all people see the world, not as it is, but as they are.

Almost all creative endeavors are somewhat unpredictable.

As a teacher, I have come to believe that many truly great classes teeter on the very edge of chaos. Synergy tests whether teachers and students are really open to the principle of the whole being greater than the sum of its parts.

Sociologist Kurt Lewin developed a "Force Field Analysis" model in which he described any current level of performance or being as a state of equilibrium between the driving forces that encourage upward movement and the restraining forces that discourage it.

Driving forces generally are positive, reasonable, logical, conscious, and economic. In juxtaposition, restraining forces are often negative, emotional, illogical, unconscious, and social/psychological. Both sets of forces are very real and must be taken into account in dealing with change.

If two people have the same opinion, one is unnecessary. It's not going to do me any good at all to communicate with someone else who sees only the old woman also.

I don't want to talk, to communicate, with someone who agrees with me; I want to communicate with you because you see it differently. I value that difference.

One of the interesting things to me was how little time had transpired before there was sufficient trust to create such synergy.

I think it was largely because the people were relatively mature.

Synergy means that 1 + 1 may equal 8, 16, or even 1,600. The synergistic position of high trust produces solutions better than any originally proposed, and all parties know it.

Insecure people think that all reality should be amenable to their paradigms. They have a high need to clone others, to mold them over into their own thinking. They don't realize that the very strength of the relationship is in having another point of view.

That person values the differences because those differences add to his knowledge, to his understanding of reality.

Is it logical that two people can disagree and that both can be right? It's not logical: it's psychological. And it's very real. You see the young lady; I see the old woman.

What is synergy? Simply defined, it means that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. It means that the relationship which the parts have to each other is a part in and of itself.

It is not only a part, but the most catalytic, the most empowering, the most unifying, and the most exciting part. The creative process is also the most terrifying part because you don't know exactly what's going to happen or where it is going to lead.

Synergy is exciting. Creativity is exciting.

It's phenomenal what openness and communication can produce. The possibilities of truly significant gain, of significant improvement are so real that it's worth the risk such openness entails.

When properly understood, synergy is the highest activity in all life, the true test, and manifestation of all the other habits put together.

synergy is the essence of principle-centered leadership.

You're not sure when you engage in synergistic communication how things will work out or what the end will look like, but you do have an inward sense of excitement and security and adventure, believing that it will be significantly better than it was before. And that is the end that you have in mind.

..

As a result, new goals, shared goals, are created, and the whole enterprise moves upward, often in ways that no one could have anticipated.

And the excitement contained within that movement creates a new culture. The people involved in it are enmeshed in each other's humanity and empowered by new, fresh thinking, by new creative alternatives and opportunities.

Once people have experienced real synergy, they are never quite the same again. They know the possibility of having other such mind-expanding adventures in the future.

Like the Far Eastern philosophy, "We seek not to imitate the masters, rather we seek what they sought," we seek not to imitate past creative synergistic experiences, rather we seek new ones around new and different and sometimes higher purposes.

Ecology is a word which basically describes the synergism in nature -- everything is related to everything else

Synergy works; it's a correct principle.

As Carl Rogers taught, "That which is most personal is most general." The more authentic you become, the more genuine in your expression, particularly regarding personal experiences and even self-doubts, the more people can relate to your expression and the safer it makes them feel to express themselves.

That expression in turn feeds back on the other person's spirit, and genuine creative empathy takes place, producing new insights and learnings and a sense of excitement and adventure that keeps the process going.

Increasing the driving forces may bring results -- for a while. But as long as the restraining forces are there, it becomes increasingly harder. It's like pushing against a spring: the harder you push, the harder it is to push until the force of the spring suddenly thrusts the level back down.

The resulting up and down, yo-yo effect causes you to feel, after several attempts, that people are "just the way they are" and that "it's too difficult to change." But when you introduce synergy, you use the motive of Habit 4, the skill of Habit 5, and the interaction of Habit 6 to work directly on the restraining forces. You unfreeze them, loosen them up, and create new insights that actually transform those restraining forces into driving ones.

synergy is everywhere in nature.

The whole is greater than the sum of its parts. One plus one equals three or more.

We abandoned the old syllabus, the purchased textbooks, and all the presentation plans, and we set up new purposes and projects and assignments.

We became so excited about what was happening that in about three more weeks, we all sensed an overwhelming desire to share what was happening with others

Synergy is almost as if a group collectively agrees to subordinate old scripts and to write a new one.

We were about three weeks into a semester when, in the middle of a presentation, one person started to relate some very powerful personal experiences which were both emotional and insightful. A spirit of humility and reverence fell upon the class -- reverence toward this individual and appreciation for his courage. This spirit became fertile soil for a synergistic and creative endeavor. Others began to pick up on it, sharing some of their experiences and insights and even some of their self-doubts.

The essence of synergy is to value differences -- to respect them, to build on strengths, to compensate for weaknesses.

When you communicate synergistically, you are simply opening your mind and heart and expressions to new possibilities, new alternatives, new options. It may seem as if you are casting aside Habit 2 (to Begin with the End in Mind); but, in fact, you're doing the opposite -- you're fulfilling it.

You can value the difference in other people. When someone disagrees with you, you can say, "Good! You see it differently." You don't have to agree with them; you can simply affirm them. And you can seek to understand.

When you see only two alternatives -- yours and the "wrong" one -- you can look for a synergistic Third Alternative. There's almost always a Third Alternative, and if you work with a win-win philosophy and really seek to understand, you usually can find a solution that will be better for everyone concerned.

You may want to create a climate that is more positive, more respectful, more open and trusting.

Your logical reasons for doing that are the driving forces that act to raise the level.. But increasing those driving forces is not enough.