Interpersonal Communications Chapter 8

26.) What suggestions does the author make to help when giving advice?

- Listen. - Empathize. - Be tentative. - Ensure understanding. - Keep the interaction confidential. - Avoid should statements.

18.) What are the dangers of self‐disclosure, according to the author?

- Personal Risks - Relational Risks - Professional Risks

12.) Be able to distinguish the 2 types of speaker cues from the 2 types of listener cues (including examples) discussed within the "principle of turn-taking."

1.) 2.) 1.) 2.)

21.) What are excuses, and what are the 3 basic types?

1.) I didn't do it. 2.) It wasn't so bad. 3.) Yes, but...

19.) Be thoroughly familiar with the guidelines the author offers for each of the following: 1) making self-disclosures, 2) facilitating and responding to selfdisclosures and 3) resisting pressure to self-disclose?

1.) Making Self-Disclosures - Disclose out of appropriate motivation. - Disclose in the appropriate context. - Disclose gradually. - Disclose without imposing burdens on yourself or > others. 2.) Guidelines for Facilitating and Responding to Self Disclosures - Practice the skills of effective and active listening. - Support and reinforce the discloser. - Be willing to reciprocate. - Keep the disclosures confidential. 3.) Guidelines for Resisting Pressure to Self-Disclose - Don't be pushed. - Delay a decision. - Be indirect and move to another topic.

7.) What are the 5 dimensions of feedback, and what guides does the author suggest for giving effective feedback?

1.) Positive-Negative. 2.) Person Focused-Message Focused. 3.) Immediate-Delayed. 4.) Low-Monitoring-High-Monitoring Feedback. 5.) Supportive-Critical. For example, in talking with someone who is trying to become a more effective interviewer, you might critically evaluate a practice interview but also express support for the effort.

9.) What are the 4 conversational maxims (Grice,'75; Lindblom,'01) that help embody the "principle of cooperation?"

1.) The Maxim of Quantity 2.) The Maxim of Quality 3.) The Maxim of Relation 4.) The Maxim of Manner

16.) Be thoroughly familiar with the 5 most significant factors influencing selfdisclosure, according to the author.

1.) Who you are 2.) Your culture 3.) Your gender 4.) Your listeners 5.) Your topic

11.) Compare and contrast monologic and dialogic communication.

A monologue is communication in which one person speaks and the other listens; there's no real interaction among participants. The term mono-logic communication is an extension of this basic definition and refers to communication in which there is no genuine interaction, in which you speak without any real concern for the other person's feelings or attitudes.

25.) What is the difference between advice and meta-advice, and what 3 types of meta-advice does the author identify?

Advice - best viewed as a process of giving another person a suggestion for thinking or behaving, usually to change their thinking or ways of behaving. Meta-Advice - Advice about advice.

22.) What is an apology, and what recommendation does the author make to effectively express an apology?

Apology - An expression of regret for something you did; it's a statement that you're sorry.

13.) What are back-channeling cues, and what are 4 of the most important messages they communicate?

Back-channeling cues - used to communicate various types of information back to the speaker without your assuming the role of speaker. 1.) To indicate agreement or disagreement. 2.) To indicate degree of involvement. 3.) To pace the speaker. 4.) To ask for clarification.

23.) Be able to distinguish between a compliment and a backhanded compliment, and be familiar with the suggestions offered by the author for giving compliments.

Compliment - a message of praise, flattery, or congratulations. It's the opposite of criticism, insult, or complaint. Backhanded Compliment - Not a compliment at all; it's usually an insult masquerading as a compliment. Giving a compliment: - Be real and honest. - Compliment in moderation. - Be totally complimentary. - Be specific. - Be personal in your own feelings.

1.) How does McLaughlin ('84) define "conversation" on pg. 197?

Conversation - defined as "relatively informal social interaction in which the roles of speaker and hearer are exchanged in a nonautomatic fashion under the collaborative management of all parties".

5.) Be thoroughly familiar with the 3 kinds of opening lines discussed by the author, including which are most and least preferred by men and women in face-to-face interactions.

Cute-flippant openers - humorous, indirect, and ambiguous as to whether or not the person opening the conversation really wants an extended encounter. (BOTH HATE) Innocuous openers- highly ambiguous as to whether these are simple comments that might be made to just anyone or whether they're in fact openers designed to initiate an extended encounter. (BOTH LIKE) Direct openers - demonstrate clearly the speaker's interest in meeting the other person. (MEN > WOMEN)

3.) What is phatic communication?

Phatic Communication - It's a message that establishes a connection between two people and opens up the channels for more meaningful interaction.

17.) What are the rewards of self‐disclosure, according to the author?

Self-disclosure may help increase self-knowledge, communication and relationship effectiveness, and physiological well-being.

15.) What is self‐disclosure, and what kinds of information might it involve, according to the author?

Self-disclosure means communicating information about yourself (usually information that you normally keep hidden) to another person. It may involve information about: (1) your values, beliefs, and desires ("I believe in reincarnation") (2) your behavior ("I shoplifted but was never caught") (3) your self-qualities or characteristics ("I'm dyslexic").

20.) What characterizes small talk, and what guidelines does the author offer to effectively engage in it?

Small talk - pervasive; all of us engage in small talk. Sometimes, we use small talk as a preface to big talk. For example, before a conference with your boss or even an employment interview, you're likely to engage in some preliminary small talk.

14.) What gender differences have researchers found in regard to interruption?

The popular belief is that men interrupt more than women. This belief, research finds, is basically accurate. Men interrupt both women and other men more than women do.

2.) Know and understand the 5-stage model of conversation (Figure 8.1).

This model of the stages of conversation is best seen as a way of talking about conversation and not as a hard-and-fast depiction of stages all conversations follow. http://puu.sh/gZfRB/5ffecf9460.jpg

27.) What suggestions does the author offer for more effectively receiving advice?

- If you asked for the advice, then accept what the person says. You don't have to follow the advice, you just have to listen to it and process it. - And even if you didn't ask for advice (and don't like it), resist the temptation to retaliate or criticize the advice giver. Instead of responding with, "Well, your hair doesn't look that great either," consider if the advice has any merit. - Interact with the advice. Talk about it with the advice-giver. A process of asking and answering questions is likely to produce added insight into the problem. - Express your appreciation for the advice. It's often difficult to give advice and so it's only fair that the advice-giver receive some words of appreciation

8.) What suggestions does the author offer to close a conversation?

- Reflect back on the conversation and briefly summarize it so as to bring it to a close. For example: "I'm glad I ran into you and found out what happened at that union meeting. I'll probably be seeing you at the meetings next week." - Directly state the desire to end the conversation and to get on with other things. For example: "I'd like to continue talking, but I really have to run. I'll see you around." - Refer to future interaction. For example: "Why don't we get together next week sometime and continue this discussion?" - Ask for closure. For example: "Have I explained what you wanted to know?" - State that you enjoyed the interaction. For example: "I really enjoyed talking with you."

4.) What kinds of opening references does the author suggest for initiating conversation?

- Self-references - Other-references - Relational references - Context references

6.) What are the 4 major functions of feedforward, and what suggestions does the author offer for giving effective feedforward?

- To Open the Channels of Communication. - To Preview the Message. - To Disclaim. - To Altercast.

24.) What are the 2 typical options people take in responding to a compliment, and what does the author see as the better alternative?

1.) A smile with eye contact—avoid looking at the floor. 2.) A simple "thank you,".

10.) Be thoroughly familiar with the 6 maxims of politeness identified by Leech ('83).

The maxim of tact (Statement 1 in the self-test) helps to maintain the other's autonomy (what we referred to earlier as negative face, p. 75). The maxim of generosity - helps to confirm the other person's importance, the importance of the person's time, insight, or talent, for example. The maxim of approbation - refers to praising someone or complimenting the person in some way ( for example, "I was really moved by your poem") and minimizing any expression of criticism or disapproval ( for example, "For a first effort, that poem wasn't half bad"). The maxim of modesty - minimizes any praise or compliments you might receive. At the same time, you might praise and compliment the other person. The maxim of agreement - refers to your seeking out areas of agreement and expressing them ("That color you selected was just right; it makes the room exciting") and at the same time to avoid and not express (or at least minimize) disagreements ("It's an interesting choice, very different"). The maxim of sympathy - refers to the expression of understanding, sympathy, empathy, supportiveness, and the like for the other person.