Interpersonal Final

Contradicting

"Angry? No, I'm NOT angry!" is an example of...

Paraphrasing

"From what you've said, it sounds like you're mad at your boss for expecting you to drop your personal plans whenever he wants you to work, is that right?" is an example of...

Fact

"I heard you tell Tim you weren't interested" is an example of a...

Hinting

"I'm pretty sure that smoking isn't permitted here," is an example of...

A complete perception check

"When you didn't call me when you said you would I thought you had forgotten about me or were mad at me. What happened?" This is an example of..

Overgeneralization

"You never listen to me!" is an example of what fallacy?

Accusation

"You're so undependable," is an example an ______

Attending

Harper listens carefully to her instructor as he discusses the upcoming exam since she hopes to get an A. What is this an example of?

Paraphrasing

Helping the problem-holder sort our the problem is one advantage of...

identity

If you try to find intimacy with another person before achieving a sense of __________ on your own, all your relationships become and attempt to complete yourself. - Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott

threatened

In communication, people usually erect walls when they feel __________.

Select the appropriate amount and type of self-disclosure

In the text, two transcripts involving the recent university graduate, Ramon, he is frustrated about his lack of advancement in his new job. In this narrative, he decided to disclose his feelings to his boss, Julie. Which guidelines for self-disclosure did Ramon seem to ignore as he talked with her?

need

It is when we no longer compulsively ______ someone that we can have a real relationship with them. - Anthony Starr

Contradicting

Levi suppressed a yawn and slumped in his chair while saying, "Sure I'm interested in hearing about your trip. I'm all ears." This is an example of...

- Avoid asking introverts why they "don't like" people - Don't demand immediate immediate feedback from an introvert - Don't interrupt once an introvert gets to talking - Do avoid asking an introvert to repeat himself

List some suggestions the book gives about introverts

- words and actions - emotional

Our interpretation of another's ____ and ______ determines our ________ reaction.

valued and important

People want to feel ______ and __________.

low self-esteem

People who expect to be rejected by others often have...

win

Rarely does a person actually _______ an argument.

The syntactic rule of our language

Saying "here the drink bring" violates what?

Accenting

Sonia snapped her fingers and shouted, "Hurry up! Get a move on!" This is an example of...

Powerful Speech

The following are all characteristics of what? It gets different results in different cultures, it often results in a favorable impression, in can help candidates in job interviews

Emotionally Counterfeit Statements

The following are examples of? "I feel like going to a movie", "I feel that you are driving too fast", "I feel we've been seeing too much of each other and want to break up"

Debilitative Feelings

The following characteristics describe what? They keep you from functioning effectively, they often last a long time, they are a product of your beliefs, they are intense

We judge ourselves more charitably than others

The following situation is an illustration of what perceptual tendency: Leah told Brian that he should wear pants that made him look less fat. But when Brian told Leah that she shouldn't wear makeup because it made her look old she thought it was hurtful and rude

Regulating

The function of influencing the flow of verbal communication is called...

Perception Checking

The process of using questioning and paraphrasing messages is a type of...

Reflected Appraisal

The process whereby the self-concept develops due to the way we believe others see us is...

Cognitive Conservatism

The tendency to seek and attend to information that conforms to an existing self-concept is called...

Discomfort

The use of manipulators is often a sign of...

True

True or False: "I" language offers a more accurate and less provocative way to express a complaint

True

True or False: According to the authors of Difficult Conversations, "talking successfully about feelings requires that you be scrupulous about taking judgments, attributions and statements of blame out of what you are saying, and putting a statement of feeling in."

True

True or False: Statements that contain the word "is" may lead to the assumption that people are unchanging

False

True or False: according to the book, impersonal communication should always be avoided

False

True or False: according to the book, the most helpful way or responding to a problem is offer good, specific advice

False

True or False: all the physical changes that accompany emotions are internal

False

True or False: communicators who pause and speak quietly are viewed just as confident as those who speak loudly and without hesitations

True

True or False: emotions may serve to accent or complement a mediated verbal message, but don't server as an adequate substitute for the richness of nonverbal messages that occur in face to face exchanges

True

True or False: if your instructor expects you to do well in class, they will likely perceive your work differently from those that they expect to fail

True

True or False: in many cases a self-concept is based on data which may have been true at one time, but are now obsolete

True

True or False: in our perceptions, we cling more strongly to first impressions even when they are incorrect

True

True or False: interruptions are one characteristic of stage-hogging

False

True or False: just as judges instruct juries to disregard some statements made in court, we can reverse or erase the effects of communication interactions in every day life

True

True or False: linguistic relativism is a notion that holds that our cultural worldview is shaped and reflected by the language spoken by its members

False

True or False: most western cultures have what is called a collective identity

True

True or False: nonverbal reactions are often directly connected to verbalizing emotions

True

True or False: over-expression of emotion may create physiological ailments as much as under-expression of emotion

True

True or False: silence is valued over talk in most Asian cultures

False

True or False: since all judging listening responses are negative, we should avoid them at all cost

True

True or False: the asynchronous nature of social media provides convenient opportunities for us to be in touch with people

False

True or False: the book argues that the complete and open expression of emotions is one key to positive relations

True

True or False: the fallacy of causation is based on the irrational belief that emotions are caused by others rather than by one's own self-talk

True

True or False: the only way we learn who we are is through communication

True

True or False: the self-concept is extremely resistant to change

True

True or False: the skill of perception checking allows you to see if you are correct in your interpretation of another's behavior

True

True or False: the transactional model of communication suggests that communicators usually send and receive messages simultaneously

False

True or False: true empathy requires that you agree with the other person's opinions

True

True or False: women use more indirect and elaborate ways of talking than men do

- Go to them immediately - Attend first to the physical/medical/safety needs - Help them remain "grounded" - Listen and allow them to share their story - Contact them daily - If necessary, take action to protect them

What are a few of the essentials on how to help someone going through crisis?

1. Thinking disagreement equates with someone being wrong 2. Inaccurately perceiving feelings 3. Thinking you know someone's intentions 4. Hiding how you truly feel

What are four behaviors or "bad habits of communication" that create difficulty?

- "I must win" - Avoid or withdraw - Denial/Ignore - Who is to blame? - Yield or give in - Compromise - "Learn something"

What are some of the conflict response styles?

- everything is going to be ok - I know how you feel... - This must be a really hard time for you - At least they aren't suffering anymore - It was God's will - You'll be with them again someday - Time heals all wounds - It could have been worse

What are some things that are not beneficial to say to someone who is going through crisis?

repeating and substituting, complementing and accenting, regulating and contradicting

What are the functions of nonverbal communication?

Selection, organization, interpretation

What are the steps in the perception process?

- the "what happened" conversation - the "feelings" conversation - the "identity" conversation

What are the three most common internal conversations we have during conflict?

When positive feelings are replaced by negative or adversarial feelings, and a destructive or unpleasant style of handling conflict or disagreement

What are the two most common causes of breakdown or decay in human relationships?

- Negative interpretations - Avoidance/withdrawal - Escalation - Invalidations/put downs

What are the ways that conflict becomes destructive?

The grammar of a language

What do the syntactic rules of language govern?

How they handle conflict

What factor is the best predictor of a marriage?

the children that the teachers predicted would do better did perform better.

What happened in the example of the children taken from "Pygmalion in the Classroom?"

more susceptible to the common cold and more likely to die prematurely

What health threats can result from a lack of close relationships?

Personal Experience

What influence on interpretation does the following example illustrate? You've changed the way you perceive and interact with homeless people after your good friend spent some time in a homeless shelter.

Noise

What is any force in the communication process that interferes with effective communication?

When you said/did "A," I felt "B," because "C." So tell me what happened and why you did "D."

What is the A-B-C-D Method?

Trying to "fix" things before taking the time to talk and build a sense of mutual understanding.

What is the biggest (or most common) mistake people make when attempting to resolve an argument?

Fear

What is the most common emotion to all crisis situations?

Trying to fix things before taking the time to talk and build a sense of mutual understanding

What is the most common mistake made in dealing with conflict?

Amygdala

What is the threat alarm system in the brain?

We can listen 4-6 times faster than an average person speaks

What is true of our rate of hearing speech and the rate of speaking?

Territoriality

What nonverbal communication is someone representing if they look annoyed after walking into a classroom and see someone sitting in their regular seat?

basic human needs must be satisfied before we concern ourselves with other ones

What was Abraham Maslow's suggestion about basic human needs?

Self-Monitoring

When Ernesta realizes during an office meeting that she's interrupted a co-worker twice, she demonstrates the skill of...

Substituting

When asked if she wanted a refill on her coffee, Aliyah covered the cup with her hand and shook her head. This is an example of...

- duty - fix

When communicating to someone in crisis, it is important to excuse yourself from the _____ you feel to say something profound that will _____ the problem.

When they feel threatened, or the relationship doesn't feel safe

When do people put up walls?

On how certain dynamics and each of the persons involved (beginning with how I) may have contributed to the present difficulty.

When trying to put aside the tendency to find fault or simply blame others, I must focus instead on....

a "time out" or a "do over"

When you recognize your interaction is moving in the wrong direction it is important to stop and call for a _____ ______ or a ______ _______.

our genetic make-up, our emotional memory, and the beliefs we hold about events

Where do debilitative feelings come from?

Ethnocentrism

While on vacation in Germany, Abigail criticized how Germans drove on the Autoban compared to American Freeway driving. This attitude is called...

Intentions

Within the "what happened conversation" that we hold internally, our first mistake is most often that we make assumptions about the other persons _____________.

it is impossible to listen well all the time

message overload, rapid thought, lack of training, and faulty assumptions are all examples of why...

Equivocating

sparing the receiver from embarrassment, saving face for the sender and receiver, sparing the teller from feeling guilty, and providing an alternative to lying are all positive aspects of....

Austin Lee's "Looking at Diversity" box

the Korean style of using silence as a way to respect authority was misunderstood by his American teachers as passivity and disinterest is an accurate description of...

Decoding

the process whereby we make sense out of the messages sent by others