Misunderstood

CHARLEY: Sounds dangerous!

(XDSR) I want to go on an adventure!

OOZ: I'm afraid that's not possible. Pet frogs are not allowed into ooZ.

(crying) What shall I do?

CHARLEY: Nope.

What?!?

RUSTY: I will be as soon as I'm upright again. I am so clumsy. I never can manage to stay on my own four feet.

(X to SL of RUSTY) How can I help?

WINKY: and some other things

(X to SL of WINKY) We're alike as alike can be! (run to SL of C) We're identical twins, it's easy to see. We're exactly alike in ev'ry degree. Except in just a few ways, if that is alright We're identical twins -- Not quite!

OOZ: And I was sick. It wasn't long before I made many of the native frogs sick as well. We discovered this place called ooZ, where we found humans who were able to help us.

(X to SL side of WINKY) Does this mean you can help Winky?

WINKY: Hoooo, that took a lot out of me.

(X to WINKY) Are you alright?

CHARLEY: Just a moment!

(XCS to CHARLEY) And I can't wait for it to be--

CHARLEY: Right!

(XCS to CHARLEY) And I can't wait for it to begin!

CHARLEY: But that's good! This is our home. Where we live.

(XCS to CHARLEY) But today when I woke up I said it's time to take some action so I sat and thought and you will not believe what popped into my head.

CHARLEY: No one's sick here.

(XCS, arm around CHARLEY) And I'm never leaving here again!

RUSTY: Good point. You need to go see the Wonderful Lizard of ooZ. I'm sure he can help you get home.

(XCSish) The lizard of what?

CHARLEY: Uh-oh!

(XDSL) I want to go on an adventure!

CHARLEY: Lots of food to eat.

(XDSL) I'm glad I'm back from my adventure!

RUSTY: Well, this way is nice.

(XDSL) Who just said that?

WINKY: While I must run and hide.

(XDSR & crouch) I love to burrow in the ground.

CHARLEY: That's a bad idea.

(XDSR hands on glass like a terrarium) I want to go on an adventure!

RUSTY: It's pleasant down that way too.

(XDSR) Hello?

VIRGIL: You're right. I'm sorry. I just figured that if I acted as big and as bad as those predators, they would leave me alone.

(XSL to VIRGIL, blocking gap in flats) Why don't you come with us? We're off to see the Lizard of ooZ! He's going to make Winky better, and I'm hoping he can help me get home.

WINKY: Maybe they can help me get better!

(XUSC to OOZ [DS around WINKY]) Can you help me find my way home?

WINKY: Doubt it. I am pretty unique. Check out these webbed toes.

(back of hands to audience) I have webbed toes, too! (front of hands to audience) It's like we're twins! (look SL) Who just said that? (turn to WINKY) We did! We're identical twins, it's easy to see! We're exactly alike in ev'ry degree. Except in just a few ways, if that is alright We're identical twins -- Not quite! (XDSL) I live in a terrarium.

RUSTY: Frogs around here use camouflage. Their colors blend into their surroundings. Some can even look like the bark on a tree!

(copy whatever RUSTY does on the SR tree) Do any trees have bright red bark?

HOST: And now it is time for a commercial break. Studio audience, I need you to help me out. No one really listens to the commercials anyway, so every time I say 'commercial break' I want you to go 'blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah' really loud. Read? Commercial break! Thanks! And we're back. Brenda, you have spent some time with your first finalist. Which animal was it?

(enter C to SL of BP) Peter, I just got back from spending a day with the boa constrictor.

HOST: All right, studio audience. Our bachelor-pette has decided against the parrot. She is now down to one finalist. Which means it's time for a... commercial break! (blah blah) Thanks! And, we're back. Brenda, you have spent some time with your final finalist. Which animal was it?

(enter C) Peter, I just got back from spending a day with the housecat.

ACTOR C: Excellent! Now our story begins in a terrarium. A terrarium is a home for small pets, such as tomato frogs.

(enter SR of C & sit on ground SR of SR cube, looking off SR)

(Beginning)

(enter SR to DSR spot) Hello, everybody! It is awesome to be here at (________). We are Kohl's Wild Theater -- a program from the Zoological Society of Milwaukee in partnership with Kohl's Cares. My name is Jordyn.

HOST: Let's meet this season's bachelor-pette. Hailing from Milwaukee, Wisconsin, give a hearty welcome to... Brenda Borchardt!!! Hi, Brenda.

(enter SR to SR of BP) Hello, Peter. Thanks for having me.

HOST: Our bachelor-pette will now spend some quality time with each of the three finalists before deciding which one will be her pet. Good luck!

(exit SR)

(Whirlwind Sequence)

(flip set, exit SR, circle around, reenter SR of C to DSR) Oh my goodness! Look at all of these trees! Which way do I go?

WINKY: You humbug! You're not even a real lizard!

(grab hold of lizard head) You are a very bad creature.

OOZ: I am the Great and Powerful ooZ! All must kneel in my presence!

(kneel USR of WINKY) Our apologies, great and powerful ooZ! We are travelers who seek your help!

RUSTY: I just need to get enough momentum so I can roll over. I think if you lift there and I lean this way--

(lifting him) Like this?

VIRGIL: What are you, scared? No one can insult Virgil the Vole and get away with it! Get up and fight like a vole!

(reenter SR, X to CS, carrying crickets like apples) Hey! you leave her alone you big bully! Shame on you! (throw cricket at puppet)

RUSTY: Of course animals do go both ways.

(seeing him) Whoa! Did that rock just move?

CHARLEY: Dory? Dory are you alright? We took quite a tumble there. A bouncy ball knocked our tank right off the table. I thought you were a goner.

(stand and sit on cube, SR of WINKY) I was in this place called Wisconsin. I remember that some of it wasn't very nice, but most of it was beautiful! Just the same, I kept telling everyone I wanted to go home.

CHARLEY: Course not. I'm happy here. It's nice and warm, food is brought to us, and it's never too bright. No predators to eat us. It's the perfect home for tomato frogs like us.

(stand up) I just wonder if there is something more than this out there. (XDSR) Ev'ry day I wake up and I start to smile but then I frown because I realize I'm in the same place where last night I (hands on glass) went to bed.

WINKY: I'd rather climb a tree.

(stand) Other than that.

OOZ: I don't feel like helping anyone today. Come back tomorrow.

(stand, if not already standing) Tomorrow might be too late.

Follow the babbling brook.

(step DCS) We can find the Lizard together!

ACTOR B: So let's practice, can you all be big and loud? Say, YEAH!

And now let's practice being quiet as a mouse. Great job!

ACTOR B: There will be times in the show where you get to be BIG and LOUD.

And there will be other times when you need to listen closely and be as quiet as a mouse.

WINKY: I'm trying to catch my dinner!

Boy, animals here get stuck a lot. (X to WINKY) Don't worry, I'll help you.

CHARLEY: I like being a pet frog.

But don't you ever wish for an adventure?

HOST: Well, sometimes you have to take that chance.

But honestly, I'm not sure if I can commit to HIM either. Parrots can live for over 50 years! That's definitely a long-term relationship. (flip bird square) I think I'd like to meet contestant number three. (exit SR)

HOST: Well, maybe you could work something out.

But then there's the physical contact part. He just moved a little too fast, you know? He wrapped himself around me and just started to squeeze!

ACTOR C: Dory and Charley were given everything they ever needed. They had proper humidity and lighting, lots of plants to hide in, and plenty of crickets to eat. But Dory was still not happy. She was never told that she should be careful what she wished for.

Charley, do you ever wonder what it's like out there?

WINKY: I'm trying to catch my dinner.

Did you just say something?

AUDIENCE: Shark

Didn't you people ever see 'Jaws?'

HOST: You don't trust him?

Even parrots who have been kept as pets for years may fly away. And I know I'd be really sad if he left.

RUSTY: The Lizard of ooZ. He's a wise creature and I know he can help you! Just follow the babbling brook.

Follow the babbling brook?

CHARLEY: Aren't you listening?

Go someplace I've never been.

CHARLEY: What does that mean?

Go someplace I've never been.

HOST: In what way?

He needs everything kept at a specific temperature and humidity. And he's sort of a picky eater.

CHARLEY: Nothing to fear.

Home is the best place I have been.

RUSTY: It hasn't been easy. Predators are everywhere! It's really hard to travel when I have to keep hiding in my shell.

How can that help you?

OOZ: Oh no! I am a very good creature! I am just a very bad lizard. Years ago I found myself dumped here in Wisconsin. After living my whole life as a pet frog, it was hard to fend for myself.

How terrible for you.

RUSTY: Why this is the wonderful land of Wisconsin!

How wonderfully strange. How did I end up here?

WINKY: You scared it away! I was trying to catch my dinner! Alright, who are you and what do you want?

I am terribly sorry! Where are my manners?!? My name is Dory (offer hand). I'm a tomato frog.

OOZ: Don't cry. You've had the power to get home all along. Those ruby flippers hold a special power all their own. You only need to click your heels together and say "There's no place like a terrarium" three times.

I can't wait to get home! (XDSL to WINKY) But I can't abandon you, Winky... Come with me! You'll love it in my terrarium.

RUSTY: When I hide in my shell like this, it's almost impossible for bigger animals to eat me.

I don't have a shell! What do frogs do to defend themselves?

WINKY: I can't go with you, Dory. A terrarium is great for pet frogs, but I'm a wild frog and once I'm healthy, I need to stay in the wild.

I suppose you're right. (X to C) Thank you for everything. (turn to WINKY [hand, hand]) Goodbye Winky. I'll miss you most of all. (turn to audience) Kids, I need your help. When I click my heels, I need you all to say "There's no place like a terrarium" three times, big and loud. Ready? There's no place like a terrarium. There's no place like a terrarium. (start XSR) There's no place like a terrarium. (exit SR, reenter SR - timed with CHARLEY - switch flat, sit & lean SR of cube)

HOST: Are you ready to play... The Bachelor-pette?

I sure am, Peter.

AUDIENCE: Dinosaur

I think the whole 'extinct' thing might make that a lot less fun.

WINKY: I don't know if I can make it.

I'll help you! (help WINKY up and guide DSR) Now come along, we haven't much time! We just have to follow the babbling brook. Are you ready babbling brook? Let's go! (exit stage DSR into audience) Let's follow the babbling brook, the babbling, babbling, babbling brook. Let's follow the babbling, babbling brook.

HOST: Studio audience, clap your hands if you voted for the cat! Brenda, the cat seems to be a crowd favorite. How many of you in the audience have a cat? You see, Brenda? All these people can't be wrong.

I'm just afraid that the cat and I are a little too much alike.

WINKY: I've tried everything: mud bath therapy, hot stone therapy, even aromatherapy. Nothing seems to work.

I'm on my way to see the Lizard of ooZ. I'm hoping he can help me find my way home and I'm sure he could help you get better. You must come along.

AUDIENCE: Hippo

I'm pretty sure I'm not nearly a good enough cook to feed a hungry, hungry hippo.

WINKY: I'm just having a little trouble breathing. My skin started hardening in places, which makes it difficult to breathe, and my nose just keeps getting itchier and itchier.

Is there anything I can do to help?

HOST: Well, that's what constrictors do. They squeeze their prey to death before they eat it. And even snakes who have plenty of food and have been kept as pets for years will sometimes give their owners a squeeze.

It just doesn't seem like such a good match. (flip snake square) I think I'd like to meet contestant number two. (exit CS)

WINKY: Come back! We'll help you get to the Lizard of ooZ!

It's no use, Winky. We'll have to carry on without him. You are looking paler by the moment, we must hurry and find the Lizard of ooZ! (XDSR w/WINKY & stretch lines until "HAHAHA" from ooZ)

CHARLEY: We are two Tomato Frogs who've really got it made. No predators could ever come our way. We are safe and warm in here with all the food we need. Now, tell me what you have to say! (counter XSLC)

Just this... (XDSL) I want to go on an adventure!

RUSTY: Exactly! Just a little more... Ahhhh. Whew! Thank you. I've been stuck like that for an hour. I'm Rusty. I'm a red-eared slider turtle. Who might you be?

My name is Dory (hesitantly offer hand). I'm a tomato frog.

RUSTY: You're the first creature that stopped to help. You must not be from around here. Just look at those ruby flippers! Did you find those around here?

No, I've had these my whole life! I'm a pet frog, I've spent my whole life in a terrarium. (XSDR) I don't even know where here is. What do you call this place?

HOST: Doesn't like broccoli, only wants pizza rolls, that sort of thing?

No. He eats rodents! I know it's a natural behavior and all, but I get a little freaked out thinking about feeding something a rat.

CHARLEY: There, there, Dory. It was all just a dream. You're safe here with me.

Now I'm glad to say I'm fin'ly home and back with my best friend and everything that happened there has given me a brand new song to sing (stand) (XDSR) I'm glad I'm back from my adventure!

HOST: So the cat ate your ice cream?

Of course not. He can't get into the freezer. But a cat's natural instinct is to hunt, even if people are feeding it cat food. Cats kill millions of small mammals and birds every year. And a lot of those bird populations are already stressed because of things like pollution and habitat loss.

VIRGIL: You didn't have to go and throw that at me. Is my nose bleeding?

Of course not. My goodness what a fuss you're making. Why, you're nothing but a great big coward!

RUSTY: I'm not a rock, I'm a turtle.

Oh my word, are you alright?

AUDIENCE: Squid

Oh, I KNOW my bathtub isn't big enough for that!

HOST: Well, Brenda, the studio audience will help you select 3 finalists. It's time for the nose ceremony. Choose your finalists by sticking the Bachelor-pette nose logo onto their picture.

Oh, I wish I could choose them all. But I can only have one pet. Studio audience, when I count to three, I want you all to yell out the animal you think I should choose. One, two, three!

HOST: Brenda, you are about to get your first glance of the animal that will be your future pet. But which one will it be? Here are eight amazing animals and one mystery selection.

Oh, Peter! They're all so beautiful! But I can't choose on looks alone. I need to choose the pet that will be the right companion for me.

ACTOR C: The gharial gang?

Ok, (Actor C), we get it. You like obscure animals. But we will feature some underappreciated critters that live closer to home. The first part of our show is... (together) The Wonderful Lizard of ooZ! ...and it is all about frogs.

HOST: All right, studio audience. Our bachelor-pette has decided against the boa constrictor. She is now down to two finalists. Which means it's time for a... commercial break! (Blah blah...) Thanks! And, we're back. Brenda, you have spent some time with your second finalist. Which animal was it?

Peter, I just got back from spending a day with the parrot.

AUDIENCE: Snake, bird, cat

Peter, I've narrowed it down to the snake, the bird, and the cat.

OOZ: Why should I help you?

Please, my friend is sick and I just want to find my way home. We were told you were the one to help us.

AUDIENCE: Polar Bear

Polar bears are great! They're the largest land based meat eating animal in the world! And as I am made of meat, I'm going to have to say no to the polar bear.

WINKY: But me I live outside!

Predators don't bother me.

RUSTY: I'll just slow you down. You go on ahead. Good luck!

Thank you so much! You must be the babbling brook? (get kids to respond) Are you ready babbling brook? Let's go! (exit stage DSR, go through audience) Let's follow the babbling brook... (find a place to sit halfway through audience) Look! A boulder! How marvelous! What an excellent place to take in the view! Let's sing again! (continue back to stage) Let's follow the babbling brook... (enter DSL) Thank you for being such a wonderful babbling brook! I wonder where I am now... (XCS) How curious, that frog looks like a statue.

VIRGIL: You're right, I am just a coward. But you would be too if you had to deal with all these predators. Eagles and foxes and snakes -- WINKY: Oh my!

That doesn't give you the right to be mean to other creatures!

ACTOR C: I'm _____. And I, for one, am very excited for today's show because it is all about animals that are underappreciated. I have long been...

Wait, (Actor C), before we get into that, we need to make sure they are ready for the show. This is the kind of show where you get to be a big help.

ACTOR B: Frogs aren't gross. They are just misunderstood. Can I play one of the frogs?

We can both play frogs! Come on! (exit SR & change into costume)

ACTOR C: Ok, fine. Then I'd like to draw your attention to my other organization, the Flying Squirrel Fan Club.

We don't have those either.

HOST: Studio audience, clap your hands if you voted for the snake! Brenda, the boa constrictor has a lot of support. What was your experience?

Well, Peter, the boa constrictor is a beautiful animal. But he was sort of needy.

HOST: Studio audience, clap your hands if you voted for the bird! Brenda, the parrot has a lot of support as well. What was your experience?

Well, Peter, the parrot is gorgeous and fun to talk to. But I'm not sure I'd ever want to live with him.

HOST: Why's that?

Well, frankly, he's sort of a slob! Plus, a little conversation is nice, but he doesn't really have an inside voice. And I totally understand his need to spread his wings, but I can't help having a little fear of abandonment.

HOST: In what way?

Well, sometimes at night, after I've already eaten dinner, I go into the kitchen and get some ice cream, or a cookie, or cold pizza... even though I'm not hungry. I guess it's just instinct.

WINKY: Winky's the name, western chorus frog is my game.

Western chorus frog? Is that anything like a tomato frog?

WINKY: Wait, I need to stop. I don't know if I can make it!

You can do it Winky, just a little farther! We need your help babbling brook, let's sing again! Let's follow the babbling brook, the babbling, babbling, babbling brook. Let's follow the babbling, babbling brook. (reenter stage DSL & XSR) Thank you babbling brook! This looks like a good place to rest. You sit there while I find us something to eat. (exit SR)

RUSTY: Your guess is as good as mine. I don't even know how I ended up here.

You mean you're not from around here either?

RUSTY: I was a pet like you. But I kept growing and growing and my owner never got me a bigger terrarium. One day, I was dropped here and I've been trying to get home ever since.

You poor thing!