South Pacific- Luther Billis Lines

Seabee: Sure you can. Just put your two heads together

( calling off) Look, Jerk, I got a production on my hands. (turn to stewpot) How's the weightlifting act going

Cable: Well don't say I didn't warn you( scene 6 ends)

(Enters) Oh, I thought Miss Forbush was here. I brought some hot water for her. she likes to take a shampoo fridays

Brackett: You're not far off, Adams. Harbison tells me this thing cost the Navy about six hundred thousand dollars

(gets excited) Six hundred thous...

You like?

(show GI's bracelet) You know what that is? A bracelet made out of a single boar's tooth. They cut the tooth from the boar's mouth in a big ceremonial over there on Bali Ha'i. There ain't a souvenir you can pick up in the South Pacific as valuable as this... What do you want for it, Mary?

Stewpot: There was a moon !

A full moon!

Professor: Rectius vives Licini

Ain't that beautiful

Cable: Come on everybody. Take all this stuff and throw it over that fence.

All right- take it way down there. Off Navy property.

Nellie: ( reads card) (deeply affected)

Are you all right, Miss Forbush

Marine: Yeah

Are you booked on one of those LCT's

Emile:No, I would prefer to give them to her myself.

Are you mister de Becque?

Nellie: Oh, you do beautiful work, Luther, You've even done the pleats in my shorts!

Aw, pleats ain't hard. You better run along now and catch up to your gang

Sailor: We'll never get it finished by Thanksgiving

Did you tell those guys at the shop to stop making those grass skirts?

Quale: Gee, that's mighty nice work

Do you hear that, Sweaty Pie? You can probably sell these to the chumps for five or six dollars apiece. Now, I'll let you have the whole bunch for ... say.... eighty bucks.

Emile: She has asked for a transfer?

Don't tell her I told you. Nobody's supposed to know.

Cable: Say, I wonder if any of you know a French planter named de Becque?

Emile de Becque? I think he's the guy lives on top of that hill... do you know him?

Shore patrolman: All right, all right. Stay with your own unit. Ensign, you too. For heaven's sake, don't get spread out over here. We're trying to get this thing organized as quickly as possible, so for God's sake, stay with your outfit! (to Billis) Say, Seabee- you belong down the beach

Excuse me, sir, could you tell me where we could find Captain Brackett?

Stewpot: But..

Fade. Here he comes... Don't change your expression, Lieutenant. Just act like we're talking casual. I got the boat.

Bloody Mary: Whazzat Philadelia girl? Whazzat mean? No saxy? You like I give you free

Free!? You never give ME anything free

Stewpot: That's what it is

Go back to the shop and tell them to try again. If I order a dried- up human head, I want a human head- dried up.

Stewpot: The weight lifting act got started

Good. (motions to CBs) What I can't understand is how some guys ain't got the artistic imagination to put gas in a generator so a show can be a success- especially when they're on the committee.

Professor: Aye, aye

He'll never make Captain

Nellie: Hello, Luther

Hello, Miss Forbush. I brought some hot water for you

Shore Patrolman: All right! Stay in line! how many times have I told you... ( nurse comes by)

Hello, Miss MacGregor. You nurses going too.

Bloody Mary: Fo' dolla' . Send home to Chicago to saxy sweetheart! She make wave like this

Here you are, Sweaty Pie! Put them down, Professor. These beautiful skirts were made by myself, the Professor here, and three other Seabees in half the time it takes your native workers to make 'em... (picks up skirt and demonstrates) See? No stretch! ( throw skirt on ground) Look em over, sweaty pie, and give me your price.

Nellie: But you did give them to me and I...

Here's the card that came with them

Bloody Mary: He come. He come. He be here soon. Don't worry Billis.

Hey, Mary please ask those boar's tooth ceremonial fellows not to be sore at me. I didn't think those girls would do a religious dance with only skirts on. If somebody had told me it was a religious dance, I wouldn't have gotten up and danced with them. Oh! Here he comes! here he comes.

Cable: Lootellan( laughing)

Hiya Lootellan. New on the Rock?

Bloody Mary: Hundred dolla

Hundred Dollars! ... That's cheap. I thought it would be more.

Brackett: How did you know about it?

I didn't know about it exactly, It't just when I heard Lieutenant Cable talking to that fellow de Becque, right away I know something's in the air. A project. That's what I like, Captain... Projects. Don't you?

Brackett: What the hell do you want me to do? Give this guy a bronze star?

I don't want any bronze Star, Captain. But I could use a little freedom. A little room to swing around in- if you know what I mean. If you get the picture.

Cable: No

I see what you mean, being off limits and all. It would take a lot of persuading to get me to go over there... But, another thing goes on over there- the ceremonial boar's tooth. After they kill the boar they pass around some of that coconut liquor and women dance with just skirts on... ( voice becomes evil) ... and everybody gets to know everybody pretty well ( sings) BALI HA'I WILL WHISPER ON DE WIND OF DE SEA: HERE AM I, YOUR SPECIAL ISLAND! COME TO ME, COME TO ME! It's just a little tribal ceremonial, primitive but as-stonishing, and I thought you being up in the shooting war for such a long time without getting any... recreation- I thought you might be interested.

A Furious Voice: Hey! Who the hell threw that

I threw it! What are you gonna do about it?

Brackett: what the hell are you so happy about?

I was just thinking about my uncle. (to Adams) Remember my uncle I was telling you about? He used to tell my old man I'd never be worth a dime! (turns to Harbison) Him and his lousy slot machines... can you imagine a guy.

Nellie: (nods head)

I'll be waiting around the area here in case you need me. Just... just sing out.

Stewpot: Only officers can sign out boats

I'll get a boat alright. I'll latch onto some officer who's got some imagination-- that would like to see that boar's tooth ceremonial as much as I would. It's a hell of a ceremonial! Dancin' Drinkin' - everything

Seabee: You're on the committee, too. Why didn't you tell us it wasn't gassed up?

I'm acting in the show and I'm stage manager and producer. I can't figure out everything, can I?

Stewpot: I can't tell, nobody is clapping

If nobody is clapping, it ain't going good. You ought to be able to figure that out. Put your two heads together.

Brackett: Dressmakers, do you mean to tell me the Seabees of the United States Navy are now a lot of

If you don't like the idea, sir, we can drop it right here, sit. Just say the word. just pretend i never brought it up

Nellie: Thanks, It'll do me a lot of good to get some of this sand out of my hair.

If you need some extra water for rinsing your hair, my bath-club concession boys will take care of you. When you're ready for the shower, just pull this chain, just like you was... like you was pulling down a window shade. Take care of her, boys.

Nurse Macgregor: Only a few of us. We're going to fly back some wounded

Is Miss Forbush going with you?

Cable: Look, Billis, I didn't come over here to Bali Ha'i to see anybody cut any boar's teeth out.

It ain't the cutting of the boar's teeth exactly. It's what comes afterwards.

Sailor: Because the French planter put all their young women over there when they heard the G.I's were coming. That's why! It ain't boar's teeth- it's women!

It is boar's teeth... and women

Bloody Mary: Make you special offer Big Deala'. I trade you boar's tooth for all grass skirts.

It's a deal!

Cable: What boat

Keep walking down the company street. Keep your voice down. I signed out a boat in your name. We're shoving off for Bali Ha'i in forty-five minutes.

Sailor: Young French women

Knock it off! I'm talking about souvenirs

Cable: No we're not. I've got to see Captain Brackett

Lieutenant! What are you doing to me? I signed this boat out in your name.

Cable: Then you're just the man to go back and cancel it, Forget the whole thing, okay?

Lieutenant, you and me are going on a boat trip whether you like it or not

Emile: Yes

Look, Mister de Becque. Do me a favor, will you? Don't try and see her tonight.

Bloody Mary: Den you damn well keep

Now look here dragon lady, ... What's that you got there? A boar's tooth bracelet? Where'd you get that ? Over there on Bali Ha'i.?

Professor: neque altim Semper urgendo dum procellas

Now, Lieutenant, what did he say?

Bloody Mary: Finishes song... Bali Ha'i x3

Of course Lieutenant, right now that island if off limits due to the fact that the French planters have all their young women running around over there. Of course, you being an officer, you could get a launch. I'd even be willing to requisition a boat for you. What do you say lieutenant. (sings)> BALI HA'I MAY CALL YOU, ANY NIGHT, ANY DAY, IN YOUR HEART YOU'LL HEAR IT CALL YOU: COME AWAY, COME AWAY.. Hunh Lieutenant

Cable: I am. But right now I've got to report to the Island Commander

Oh! Professor, take the lieutenant up in the truck

Nurse Macgregor: I don't know. She may be staying here with the hospital. ( begins leaving)

Oh, Miss Macgregor- you don't get airsick do you? I was thinking maybe if you got three bucks handy, you might be able to use this little package I got here.

Marine: It sucked ( scene 4 begins)

Oh, beg your pardon

Nellie: How much, Luther?

Oh, no, not from you

Cable: No... Princeton

Oh. Folks got money, eh, lieutenant? Don't be ashamed of it. We understand. Say! Maybe you'd like to hear the Professor talk some language. What would you like to hear? Latin? Grecian? Aw give him some Latin.

Bloody Mary: Wait a minute. Is no deal till you throw in something for good luck

Okay. What do you want me to throw in?

French girls: singing.... last line par ici, me voici

Ring the bell again! Ring the bell again! (takes flower) I'll have another one of those.

Marine: What is it?

Seasick Remedy. You'll be needing it

Emile: Pardon, can you tell me where I can find Miss Forbush?

She's onstage now, She's the Emcee. She can't talk to nobody right now. Do you want me to take the flowers in to her?

Cable: Who is she?

She's tonkinese- used to work for a French planter.

Stewpot: I think I hear something

Shut your big fat mouth! (threat)

Bloody Mary: French planters stingy bastards

Sir! May I make a suggestion sir?

Shore Patrolman: He's up at the head of the Company Street. He'll be along any minute now.

Thank you, sir. That's all, sir.

Professor: They're bigger too

That damned Bali Ha'i! Why does it have to be off limits? You can get everything over there. Shrunken heads, bracelets, old ivory...

Stewpot: Sure, they just turned out one of these, what do you think?

That don't look like a dried-up human head. It looks like an old orange painted with shoe polish.

Nurse Macgregor: Oh, that stuff's no good- we gave that up last month.

That's a female jerk ( turn to Harbison and Brackett) I beg pardon, sir... could I speak to you a moment?

Cable: Professor?

That's because he went to college, You go to college?

Stewpot: There's your officer ! There's your officer

That's the island over there with the two volcanoes. Officers can get launches and go over there.

Sailor: Look at this shirt( tattered)

The Billis Laundry is not responsible for minor burns and tears. What do you say, Sweatso? What am i offered?

Emile: I must see her. Tonight!

Then stay out of sight till after the show. I'll take the flowers to her.

Nellie: Pleats are very hard. How do you do such delicate work at night, in the dark

There was a moon!

Marine: Aw, knock it off. That stuff's issues. We all got it. Who are you tryin' to fool?

These marines are getting smarter every day

Marine: We'll have the other generator on in a minute

They got the truck light on. That's something

Professor: Yeah! They may be ready for us to go aboard

They won't be ready for hours yet!-- this is the Navy. ( turns offstage) Eager Beavers! Look at that beach... swarmin' with 10,000 guys- all jerks! (picking out a jerk) Hey! Marine.

Marine: I guess so, why?

They'll shake the belly off you, you know. ( pulls out small package) Five bucks and you can have it.

Emile: She has been upset?

Upset! She's asked for a transfer to another island. And day before yesterday, she busted out crying in the middle of rehearsal. Said she couldn't go on with the show. And she wouldn't have either unless Captain Brackett talked to her and told her how important it was to the base. So do us all a favor- don't try to see her now.

Emile: Why?

We got her in a great mood tonight and I don't want anything to upset her again.

Professor: So's he

We got to get a boat and get over there. I'm feeling held down again. I need to take a trip. (to bloody Mary)

Brackett: Why the hell did you do this anyway, Billis? What would make a man do a thing like this?

Well, sir, a fellow has to keep moving. You know, you get kind of held down. If you're itching to take a trip to pick up a few souvenirs, you got to kind of horn in- if you get the picture

Brackett: One man like you in an outfit is like a rotten apple in a barrell. Just what did you feel like- sitting down there all day long in that little rubber boat in the middle of Empress Augusta Bay with the whole damn Navy Air Force trying to rescue you? And how the hell can you fall out of a PBY anyway.

Well, sir, the Jap anti-aircract busted a hole in the side of the plane and. . . I fell through- the wind just sucked me out.

Brackett: So I'm to understand that you deliberately hid in the baggage compartment of a plane that you knew was taking off on a very dangerous mission. You had sand enough to do that all right. And then the moment an anti-aircraft gun hit the plane, you fell out. the wind just sucked you out - you and your little parachute! I don't think you fell out, Billis, I think you jumped out. Which did you do?

Well, sir... er... it was sort of half and half... if you get the picture

Sailor: Hey, Big Dealer! Hey, Luther Billis

What can I do for you my boy? What's the trouble

Cable: I'm afraid I haven't the slightest idea

What's the matter, didn't you graduate? Take the lieutenant to the buildings.

Cable: Er, yes

Where?

Cable: A place in New Jersey

Where? Rutgers?

Sailor: Why, you big phony. We all know why you want to go to Bali Ha'i.

Why

Cable: Just came in on that PBY

Yeah? Where from?

Nellie, then Stewpot: Hey, Luther Stewpot: Luther

Yes, Miss Forbush

Nellie: Have you done what you promised

Yes, Miss Forbush, (package handoff)I did it last night(worried) You don't have to open it now

Harbison: Luther Billis

Yes, Sir

Brackett: Get out of here! ( Billis walks away and turns back to Brackett) Get the Hell out of here!!!

Yes, sir!

Brackett: Oh, what do you want Billis? We're moving out pretty soon.

Yes, sir, I know. I'd like to do something for Miss Forbush, sir. Stewpot and the Professor and me was wondering if anything is being done about rescuing the Frenchman off that island. We hereby volunteer for such a project- a triple diversionary activity, like I done to get 'em on there. You could drop us in three rubber boats on different sides of the island- confuse the hell out of the Japs. Get the picture?

Bloody Mary: Hundred Dolla.' Good Luck!

You don't run into these things every day. They're scarce as hens' teeth.

Bloody Mary: Not enough?

You're damn well right, not enough.

Adams: (gives long speech) They kept the Jap guns occupied while I slipped down and scooped him off the rubber boat. You'd have thought this guy was a ninety- million dollar cruiser they were out to protect. There must have been fifty-five or sixty planes

sixty-two

Bloody Mary: Give you ten dolla'

what?

Brackett: Who are you

Billis, sir, Luther Billis The natives can now go back to work on the farms. The demand for grass skirts can now be met by us Seabees

Brackett: Who's that?

Billis, sir, Luther Billis.

Nellie: Oh, Luther, you really are a honey bun! These beautiful flowers! I needed someone to think of me tonight. I appreciate it, Luther- you don't know how much.

Billis: Miss Forbush, I would like you to know I consider you the most wonderful woman in the entire world- even including the fact that you're an officer and all. And I just can't go on being such a heel as to let you think I thought of giving you those flowers.