speech
#7
A study done by Linguist Nic Subitrelu showed that out of 101 random occurrences of the adjective bossy in magazines, television, and literature, it was three times more likely to be tied to a female figure rather than a male figure. These statistics aren't necessarily surprising, but they do prove how the word bossy is attached primarily to women and girls in pop culture. New York Times best selling author Brene Brown supports this finding in saying, "Bossy is a totally gendered word. They call the same behaviors in men 'leadership, take-charge-and-get-it-done, and reliable.'" There isn't an equivalent word used to describe men, and therein lies an issue.
#2
Get this: at some point during their rise to fame, each one of these incredibly educated and talented women were labeled as the b word... one of the most demeaning words you can call a woman, such an offensive word that many want to ban it altogether, this word is bossy. Defined as someone who is "fond of giving people orders" and particularly "domineering," I think we can all agree that BOSSY isn't exactly a compliment. These women are absolute powerhouses. They've pushed through adversity, paved their way to success, and even influenced the next generation to do the same, but yet all we can come up with to describe them is... bossy?
#1
I'm going to name three powerful, talented women... and I want you to think about what they all might have in common: Michelle Obama, Beyonce, and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. Ok, any ideas? Maybe they're all from the same home town? No, that's not it. College - are they alumni from the same university? Nope. Do they all get free Popeyes chicken sandwiches for life? Oh wait, that's just Beyonce.
#5
It's been proven that girls are less likely to step into leadership positions out of fear of being labeled as bossy. Their confidence and self-esteem drops 3.5 times more than boys between elementary and high school according to the American Association of University Women. In addition Girls are constantly associated with "girl boss" yet boys are not commonly referred to as "boy boss" making it clear that girls aren't socially accepted as leaders while boys are normalized as such. How demeaning would it be to call your doctor a "lady doctor" or your pilot a "lady pilot." This term is putting an asterisk into a term that shouldn't have one so by continuing to feed into this "girl boss" norm, women are failing to push back on gendered terms.
#6
So why has this toxic, female-focused adjective stuck around for so long? One massive contributing factor is pop-culture, which can target youth in many different ways. Take for example the "Little Miss Bossy Book," which recently has enjoyed a resurgence in popularity from its first printing in the 1980s. The entire aim of this book is to tell girls who NOT to be. A book with a target audience of children aged 5-7 should not rely on tired stereotypes that shove girls into an unrealistic mold, rather it should encourage the traits that make girls unique and amazing. Why is there a "Little Miss Chatterbox" book but not a "Mr. Mansplain'' "Mr. Manspread" "Mr Gaslight" "Mr Toxic Masculinity" edition? Doesn't it seem a little miss-ogynistic?
#3
The need for change has never been more relevant as self confidence among girls and women continues to plummet, so today I will take you through the cycle of how certain words have lasting impacts on our female leaders and how we can regain the power to overcome them. First, we will be addressing bossy and how this label seeks to guilt girls into thinking that they aren't allowed to be outspoken and assertive. Next, we will observe how the bossy label transitions into a more serious issue later in womanhood. Lastly, I'll propose ways that we can break the mold and embrace who we really are: BOSSES.
#8
We've seen how "bossy" has been used to belittle and insult girls, but what happens when bossy girls grow up and become... women? Sadly, another B-word often enters the picture. Yes, the grand dame of feminine insults. The word is "bitch," bossy's big sister. The b-word has been demeaning women's character since the 15th century, and ever since its resurgence in the 1900s through music, media and entertainment, its usage has become rampant.
#4
When you imagine the stereotypical "bossy girl," you might think of a sassy seven year old who mercilessly tells her older brother what to do, and how to do it. Or maybe it's the 4th grader who oversees the blacktop, picking teams at recess and demanding the other kids play the games she selects. Or perhaps it's the power-hungry middle schooler who leads three clubs and never takes no for an answer. Whew, this girl sounds like a lot. Well that girl was me. And yes, adults, classmates, teachers, and friends all labeled me as bossy except Billy who used a different b-word. Did I care? I wanted to think it didn't bother me, but it did, and I allowed it to change who I was. I allowed that label to make me a little more quiet, a little less opinionated. A little smaller. Little did I know, I was not alone.
