Stress Management

What is healthy venting? How is this done?

- Cast in the direction of the provocation - Restores a sense of control - Leads to a change in behavior of the provoker or provides insight to create a personal resolution - Expressed in understandable language (use "I" sentences) - Must not provoke retaliation

What are some methods for managing anger discussed in class?

- Cognitive restructuring - Problem solving - Relaxation techniques - Better communication -Assertive -Critical conversations - Humor - Know your anger style and know how to manage it - Deescalate your anger (take a walk, count to ten, etc) - Get comfortable with your own feelings and how you react. Learn how to reshape this into a healthy manner of dealing with stress.

If not dealt with properly, what can anger lead to?

- Headaches - Sleep disorders - Digestive problems - Hypertension - CHD - Social problems

What is anger?

- Natural emotion, something in life is not right - Natural response to a threat (fight or flight) - Communication

What are the anger mismanagement styles?

- Passive (somatizers, self-punishers) - Active (exploders, underhanders)

Why do we become angry?

- Violation of expectations - Violation of a rule (written or unwritten)

Aggressive Behavior

-Achieves goals, often at other's expense -Close minded, poor listener -Interrupts, puts others down, bossy -Wastes time and energy over-supervising others -In conversation, uses hinting and sarcasm

Passive behavior

-Apologetic -Self Conscious -Trusts others but not self -Doesn't express own wants and feelings and allows others to make decisions for them -Doesn't get what he/she wants -Communicate in an indirect manner, always agree, hesitant

Assertive behavior

-Assertive, non- judgemental -Trusts self and others -Confident and self aware -Effective communication, active listener -Feels motivated and understood, helps others feel the same way -Provides a "safe" zone for communication

Passive aggressive Behavior

-Chronically late -Fear of dependency, competition -Ambiguity when speaking -Fear of intimacy -Create chaotic situations -Blame others for their own failures

What is the goal of anger management?

-Express feelings in an effective manner, get the point across but don't hurt others feelings or yourself, correctly manage your problems. ; be assertive

How can a person be more assertive?

-Learn which style you are and find ways to implement the styles of someone who is assertive. Learn to direct your anger in a more productive way so that you are brave enough to speak up, but understanding of others feelings. Practice with hypothetical situations.

When does anger become dysfunctional?

-When it is not dealt with properly, causing the above symptoms -Causes more stress than the original problem

What four common myths are associated with perfectionism

1-You can't succeed without being a perfectionist 2-perfectionism gets you the best results 3-perfectionism enables you to overcome obstacles 4-perfectionism helps you achieve and please others

What are the seven steps to assuming a new value?

1-the value is chosen freely 2-the value is chosen from among alternatives 3-the value is chosen after careful consideration of each alternative 4-the value is prized and cherished 5-the value is publicly affirmed 6-the value is acted upon 7-the value is part of a pattern of repeated action (incorporated into lifestyle)

What is the process of cognitive restructuring?

1. Awareness 1. Identify/acknowledge 2. Why is it stressful/ why do you feel this way 2. Reappraisal of the situation 1. Openness to accept a new frame of mind 2. Choose neutral or positive position 3. Adoption and substitution 1. Most difficult part 2. There is comfort in the negative 4. Evaluation 3. Did it work?

What are the forms of negative self talk?

1. Pessimism- looking at the worst 2. Catastrophizing- making the worst out of a situation 3. Blaming- Shifting responsibility 4. Perfectionism- Imposing super-human standards 5. Polarized thinking- Good or bad thinking (no middle ground) All or none thinking 6. Should, could, need-ing 7. Magnifying- blowing problems out of proportion

What were the 5 goals of good financial management (that Bro. Martin wanted for you)?

1. buy a home 2. invest 3. enjoy vs. endure life 4.serve 5.have marital harmony

If you borrow a $1 roughly how much will you have to make to pay off that $1 loan (assuming you let the loan go full term)?

2$

When taking out student loans, what percent of your estimated starting salary should you strive to keep your monthly payment below? Why do you want to do this?

6%- so you can pay them back in a reasonable amount of time and not end up paying even more back in interest.

Assuming you get 10-12% interest, how long does it take for your money to double?

6-7 years

What is the Pareto principle?

80% of the results flow from 20% of the activities. If we know our productive 20%, we know where to put our focus so we can get even more results

Perception

A person's cognitive interpretation of events; people and things within your world

Spirituality

A process, a journey, the essence of life purpose and meaning to existence transcending relationship with a higher power

Acceptance

Acceptance of situation we have no control over Difficult to adopt - Takes time - Gets easier with practice - Usually involves forgiveness

Why is sleep important?

Adequate sleep is crucial to proper brain function stress can modify sleep-wakefulness cycles. Any amount of sleep deprivation will diminish mental performance. a. How much sleep do you need? usually 7-8 hours b.How does sleep alter mood and performance? More irritable and stressed if you lack it. c. How does stress alter sleep patterns and quality? It has a negative impact on duration and quality d.How does too little sleep alter health? decrease insulin sensitivity, cortisol up, abdominal obesity

What does spiritual health mean?

Adherence to a religious doctrine Ability to discover and express one's purpose in life Ability to experience love, joy, peace, and fulfillment Ability to help yourself and others achieve full potential

Define anxiety.

An unrealistic fear (real or perceived) that manifests itself in physiological arousal and behaviors to avoid or escape the anxiety provoking stimulus

s anxiety good or bad? What is the optimal level of anxiety?

Both. You have to have enough anxiety to accomplish tasks but not so much that it gives you negative effects and health consequences.

What are some benefits of spiritual health?

Buffers stress Not defeated in a crisis Relax the mind Healing (more quickly and completely) Emotional Physical Peace is an outcome of spiritual health Life satisfaction

What can affect self esteem?

Childhood experiences - Feeling of being wanted and loved Treatment by others -how we are judged affects how we feel about ourselves Social support Repeated failures (perceived) How we meet (perceived) societal standards

What are ways to deal with perfectionism?

Cognitive restructuring--negative actions (constant checking, rewriting), Ask yourself-- "Have I set up impossible expectations for myself?" "What am I afraid of? What is the worst thing that could happen?" "What can I learn from this experience?" "Where is the good in the situation?" More realistic goals, focus on process of achieving, experiment with your standards for success (what things need your best effort? try for 80% or even 60%)

Instrumental Value

Consist primarily of personal characteristics and character traits (allow us to arrive at the terminal values) eg-ambitious, clean, cheerful, courageous, forgiving, honest, intellectual, self-controlled, hard working, responsible, helpful, obedient

Describe the time value of money? Discuss this for both debt and saving?

For every dollar that you borrow you have to pay back two.

What are the physical symptoms of anxiety?

Heart: palpitations, pounding, or accelerated Sweating Trembling Shortness of breath, feeling of choking Chest pain or discomfort Nausea or abdominal distress Dizziness, light-headedness, or faint Derealization: feelings of unreality Depersonalization: being detached from oneself Numbness or tingling in extremities Chills or hot flashes

What is "All of nothing" thinking?

Idea that you have to be good at something, that you can't make mistakes, you can't fail. All or nothing thinking entails thinking something is either 100% good or 100% bad. People with these thoughts find it hard to think logically through problems, and to find the good in everything. If they fail a test they feel like they will fail out of college and never get a good job, etc.

Why is it important to know what your values are and to define them specifically?

Identifying your values allows you to select which hazy dreams a person should establish into goals or an action plan

Discuss how optimistic and pessimistic self-talk influences self-esteem, self-worth, and ultimately stress.

Immune function is lower for people who are pessimists Harder for pessimists to fight cancer

What are the techniques suggested in the readings for keeping anger at bay?

Includes those above plus changing the environment, along with timing, avoidance, and alternative options to the things and cause you to become angry.

Why is perfectionism dangerous and in reality a myth?

It is dangerous and a myth because it is unattainable.

How does weight gain and loss influence sympathetic activity? What hormones are involved?

Leptin, caffeine, go and stimulate the sympathetic nervous system

What is the difference between "Living High" and "Living Well"?

Living high means having lots of new, big and expensive stuff. Living well means having the necessities and getting by.

Self-acceptance Self Esteem

Longer lasting, based on inherent worth, not worldly achievements, very stable.

Reframing

Look at same situation from a different view point Find something good Tools: Humor, positive affirmations, and creativity.

Hardiness

People who are hardy have the "3 C's" Commitment (to whatever you are doing) Control (internal locus of control) Challenge (view change as a challenge not threat) Hardy people are able to better withstand the onslaught of stressors

Locus of Control

Perception of the amount of personal control you have over events in your life.

Selective Awareness

Realize that there is both good and bad in every situation Choose to focus on the positive De-emphasize (but do not deny) negative features Recall the good events of each day "Be your own best friend" "Take time to smell the roses" "Attitude of gratitude"

In the continuum of silence to violence what is important to maintain so that there can be dialogue?

Safety

Thought Stopping

Say to yourself, "STOP THIS THOUGHT", picture a stop sign

What types of financial aid are available to college students?

Scholarships, government pell grants, private loans, subsidized school loans. (usually given through the university)

In crucial conversations what does "STATE" stand for and how is it applied?

Share your facts Tell your story Ask for others' paths Talk tentatively Encourage Testing a. Know the "HELPFUL FORMULA" applied to crucial conversations. "I've noticed that..." (stating the facts) "I am beginning to think that..." (story) "Am I off here?..." (ask)

What are some ways to improve self esteem?

Start with little things Set up your environment Celebrate your journey, not your destination Outward focused Face your fears Mindfulness (be in the moment) Selective awareness Reward yourself Positive Self-talk No Magic Pill Takes Time

What is the difference between subsidized and unsubsidized loans?

Subsidized loans are awarded on the basis of financial need. You won't be charged any interest before you begin repaying the loan because the federal government subsidizes the interest during this time. Unsubsidized loans charge interest from the time the money is first disbursed until it is paid in full. The interest is capitalized, meaning that you pay interest on any interest that has already accrued. One way to minimize how much interest accrues is to pay the interest as it accumulates.

How is success defined in good financial management?

Success= Goal+Plan+Sacrifice

What is the Greek word for perfect? And how does the alter the meaning of Mathew 5:48?

Telios. Instead of "be ye therefore PERFECT" it would read "be ye therefore (COMPLETE, FINISHED, FULLY DEVELOPED, WHOLE)"

Cognitive restructuring

Term coined by Meichenbaum (1975) Modifying internal dialog (how you speak to yourself) A process to build up positive thoughts when negatively perceived events are encountered Purpose: to widen one's conscious perspective and thus allow room for a change in perception.

Which are better and which should you avoid as much as possible?

The best are obviously scholarships, pell grants, etc. (free money) The next best would be subsidized loans, and if at all possible you should avoid taking out private loans.

Discuss the relationship between self esteem and stress management

The very essence of stress management requires confidence in yourself and in your decisions to control your life effectively.

What is the "sucker's" choice?

Thinking you must do something OR something else people believe they have to pick their battles using violence or silence a. What is the "secret" third option? refuse the sucker's choice and STATE your path

How is locus control related to stress management?

Those with external locus take less action to control their lives because they believe such action is fruitless. Causes more stress in life when people give up control

Hardiness Theory

Three C's (Control, Commitment and Challenge)

Achievement Self Esteem

Unstable self esteem. Can easily be diminished because it is based on awards, successes, and talents.

What is the relationship between anger and forgiveness?

When you forgive you increase hope, self-efficacy, emotional self management, and you reduce anger.

Define Wholeness and know the differences between this and perfectionism

Wholeness-joy, fulfillment, peace, growth perfectionism-depression, anxiety, fear, frustration

How does debt affect your ability of attaining these goals?

With debt you are limited as to the amount you are able to serve and enjoy life. Debt can prevent getting a good home and being able to invest to improve future plans such as retirement, etc.

Values

a principle, standard, or quality considered worthwhile or desirable Something that is worth pursuit

How should we organize our time?

a quote from the lecture: "don't try to prioritize your schedule, make sure you schedule your priorities"

Support Theory

a sense of affiliation with others who can assist with maintaining health and well-being

Understand the following cognitive distortions and how they contribute to anxiety

a. All or nothing thinking, Labeling All or nothing - "I have to get straight A's or I will never get a job after school." Labeling - Instead of "I made a mistake" it is "I am such a loser." b. Should statements "I shouldn't have done that." "I should read my exercise." ← ?

Understand the three models of Anxiety treatment.

a. Cognitive model (cognitive distortions)- You feel the way you think. Anxiety comes from illogical, distorted thoughts and self talk. Cognitive restructuring - Change the way you think, and you change the way you feel. b. Exposure model (in vivo vs imaginary and gradual vs flooding) In vivo and imaginary are types of exposure. (actually encountered vs. in your head) and gradual vs flooding are rates of exposure. Some people have to take small steps whereas others can just jump right in. c. Acceptance model Anxiety leads to avoidance due to the strong urge to escape, which reinforces anxiety "If you won't have it, you will." "That which you resist persists." "So what if I'm anxious." Remind self of normative nature of anxiety. Normal is NOT symptom-free d. Relaxation Techniques

What are some things that cause perfectionism?

a. Culture? competition mentality, worth based on achievements, looks, money, success b. LDS Religion? distortion of doctrine of Eternal Perfection, Influence of American Culture c. Childhood? negative feedback from parents, human nature/temperament, abuse/neglect, biological predisposition to anxiety

Discuss the Good, Better, Best of time management tools.

a. Discuss the four quadrants of organizing your activities. Important/urgent crisis, pressing problems, deadline-driven important/not urgent prevention, relationship building, planning, exercise not important/urgent calls, mail, interruptions, pressing matters not important/not urgent trivia, busy work, facebook, scrabble

How does the stress alter the nutritional demands of the body?

a. How are vitamins and minerals affected? Know which ones are most affected. Chronic stress-depletes vitamins from our bodies(cortisol), B complex, vitamin C. b.Know the examples talked about in class. c. What are some of the potential results of reduction in these vitamins and minerals on health, physiology and stress (as talked about in class)?Deficiency can lead to anxiety, depression, insomnia, muscular weakness, upset stomach. ␣ Stress ◦ interferes with calcium absorption ◦ increases excretion of potassium, zinc, copper, and magnesium -Salt can increase blood pressure, resulting in even greater pressures during stress d. Be able to describe the relationship between sugar and stress. Excess sugar consumption Vitamin B is needed to break down sugar ◦ Sugar and nutrition ␣ Energy only ␣ NO VITAMINS ◦ Sugar can help deplete B Vitamins ␣ reduces production of adrenal hormones

What is the relationship between hydration and stress?

a. How does dehydration alter mood? Decrease in 1-3% total body water can make you irritable. Decrease in 3-5% can cause headaches, weakness and fatigue. b.How can you tell if you are adequately hydrated? your urine should be a very light shade of yellow

How does Nutrition increase stress on the body?

a. Make sure to look at nutrition and disease. Exacerbates health impact of stress (heart disease and cancer--saturated fats, trans-fatty acids, fiber, vitamin a and c, alcohol), nutrient effect on the body, altered nutrition requirements during stress, changes eating behavior. b.What is a pseudostressor (sympathomimetics) pseudostressor: food substances that produce a stress response -sympathomimetics: stimulates sympathetic nervous system(creates pseudostress response) ex-- caffeine and nicotine, (coffee, soft drinks, tea, chocolate)

What constitutes effective communication? (Book)

a. Non-verbal cues: body language. The way we are sitting or standing when communicating with others relays emotions to them. b. I statements: Instead of saying "you expect me to work on Sundays..." say "when I am expected to work on Sundays...." Places the focus not on the other person's behavior, but on the situation. This helps make the situation less stressful because the other person is less likely to get defensive. Saying "I" focuses on our beliefs, feelings, and interpretations. Results in more effective communication.

Primary Control

attempts to change the situation (problem focused) Faith is a principle of action

Secondary Control

attempts to control oneself (emotion focused)

Why do people who are NOT perfectionist tend to get more done?

because they know when to say "this is good enough" and move on. They don't fret over minor details that really don't matter.

How does stress alter eating behavior?

can lead to eating disorders and overeating a. What hormone(s) are involved? Insulin, Leptin, Cortisol- promotes food seeking (specifically comfort foods high in sugar and fat), and promotes fat accumulation in the arteries, visceral adipose tissue .

What are some strategies to overcome procrastination

create your own deadlines schedule your tasks break down projects/tasks into smaller pieces eliminate distractions use a timer

As discussed in class and the book, what are the dietary guidelines that (to the best of our knowledge) lead to improved health?

eat FRESH FOODS. OVER CONSUME FRUITS AND VEGETABLES a. What dietary components should be limited? Limit caffeine, trans-fatty acids, soft drinks, b.What do we know about the relationship between nutrition and stress? If you have a poor diet and high stress level= bad. c. How does how much you eat impact stress? What is the role of dieting? eating too much or too little is stressful for the body. (weight gain and weight loss are both difficult for the body) Also possible to have eating disorders.

What do perfectionists equate with being a good person?

grades, looks, income, talents, good behavior

Self Esteem

how highly one regards oneself

What are crucial conversations?

opposing opinions, high stakes, strong emotions tough conversations that are difficult for us to have

Terminal Value

outcomes we work toward and believe are most valuable (this is a destination) eg-happiness, wisdom, salvation, exaltation, friendship, self-respect, inner harmony, a prosperous life, pleasure, sense of accomplishment

Religiosity

participation in organized religion Adherence to the beliefs of organized religion

Placebo Theory

people who believe that something will help them often report that it does

Why are goals important?

people with goals succeed because they know where they are going a. Know how set well crafted (SMART GOALS). specific and measurable gets you where you want to go use plain language bite sized chunks deadline-driven b. What are some good practices for goal setting? write down your goals only work on 2-3 at a time prioritize them review them regularly

What makes an event, person, place or thing, positive, negative or neutral?

perception

Internal Locus of Control

perception that one has a good deal of control over life events, Internal elements control life

External Locus of Control

perception that one has little control over these events, external elements control life

Which source of self-esteem is more stable?

self acceptance

Perfectionism

self-defeating thoughts and behaviors associated with high ideals and unrealistic goals, irrational belief that you and/or your environment must be perfect, no matter what you attempt it is never good enough, striving to be the best, rigid moralistic outlook, BLAH BLAH BLAH

What is opportunity cost? Be able to apply this principle.

the cost related to the next-best choice available to someone who has picked among several mutually exclusive choices A person who has $15 can either buy a CD or a shirt. If they buy the shirt the opportunity cost is the CD and if they buy the CD the opportunity cost is the shirt. If there are more choices than two, the opportunity cost is still only one item, never all of them

What is control theory?

when someone feels a degree of control over a stressor, the person's health is less affected by the stressor

What is the opportunity cost of going into excessive debt during school?

you could choose instead to invest the money you will have to spend repaying that debt in order to build for the future. See the example in the powerpoints of investing for 54K verses 30K etc.