Week 07 Part 02: The Path to Commitment: Attraction, Dating, Partnering, and Cohabitation

Define: Knapp's Relationship Escalation Model

- A model that describes how relationships are initially formed and how they progress over time.

Define: Duck's Relationship Filtering Model

- A model that in which Stephen Duck (1985) proposes that when deciding whether to enter into or continue an interpersonal relationship—or what type of relationship—we sort information through a set of filters. - We sort interpersonal relationship information by using four types of cues.

What are the key concepts of Social Exchange Theory, according to Susan Sprecher (1998)?

- All social behavior is a series of varying exchanges. - Within these social exchanges, all individuals attempt to maximize their rewards (exchanged resources that are rewarding and satisfying) and minimize their costs (missed opportunities or exchanged resources that result in loss or punishment). - When rewards are received from others, the benefactor or the receiver feels obligated to reciprocate. - Reward minus cost equals the outcome of the impersonal exchange.

Which of the following is defined as brief physical interactions without commitment? a. dating violence b. hooking up c. sexual assault d. domestic abuse

b. hooking up

Randall is required to marry a girl outside his family's blood line, despite being in love with his first cousin. Which cultural norm is Randall required to follow in his society? a. propinquity b. homogamy c. exogamy d. endogamy

c. exogamy

Cohabitation is more of a marriage alternative among ______. a. Hispanics b. whites c. Asians d. African Americans

d. African Americans

Define: Propinquity

Geographical closeness.

Define: Relational Transgressions

Hurtful words or actions that communicate a devaluation of the partner or the relationship.

Define: Sexual Assault

Illegal sexual contact that usually involves force upon a person without consent or is inflicted upon a person who is incapable of giving consent.

What are the first year men's dating scripts?

Initiation: - Talking - Meeting in public - Shared interest - Man picks up date - Call - Casual interaction Activities: - Movies - Dinner - Shared interest Outcomes: - Talking - Go back to the house - Kiss goodnight - Go home - Relationship development - Take date home

How does one protect themselves against sexual assault?

- Avoid secluded places until you fully trust a partner - Stay sober - Never leave your drink unattended - Never accept open drinks (alcoholic or non alcoholic) from people you do not know; only accept drinks in closed containers to avoid falling prey to "club drugs" such as rohypnol and GHB - Never spend time alone with someone who makes you feel uneasy or uncomfortable—trust your instincts!

Define: Social Exchange Theory

- Centers on the exchange of people's material or symbolic resources, asserting that individuals act out of self-interest to capitalize on the resources they possess. - Presents the notion that when you (Actor) are presented with a situation in your impersonal or family relationships, you sensibly and judiciously analyze the ratio of the rewards to the costs, and you then make a decision that results in the greatest rewards. Because of the assumption that all Actors are rational when making decisions, the theory presumes that Actors' behaviors in like situations are interchangeable. In other words, given the same situation with the same potential rewards and costs, you would make exactly the same decision that I would make. - Mutually reliant on one another for rewarding results.

Define: Natural Selection

- Charles Darwin (1809-1882) - The process by which nature selects the best adapted varieties of species to survive and reproduce.

What are a few disadvantages of cohabiting before marriage or instead of marriage?

- Cohabitation before marriage is related to higher relationship dissatisfaction and higher risk of divorce. - Couples who live together have the lowest level of premarital satisfaction when compared to other living arrangements. - Married couples who live together before marriage have poorer communication skills in discussing problems than those couples who do not live together. - Cohabiting couples are less sexually committed than married couples are. - Cohabiting women report twice the rate of abuse that married women report. There is more verbal aggression, anger, and attempts to control the partner's feelings than exists in married relationships

Define: Structural Commitment

- Commitments bound by institutions such as marriage. - Having a structural commitment to the marriage does not necessarily mean that the partners are committed to one another on a personal level or that there is love or affection present in the relationship.

Define: Cultural Scripts

- Common guidelines that provide instructions about what behaviors and emotions are expected in certain situations. - For example, is it okay to have sex with someone on the first date? - To a large extent, culture dictates these behaviors and emotions, and for the most part we tend to stick to these cultural scripts.

What are a few advantages of cohabiting before marriage or instead of marriage?

- Couples who cohabit have more personal autonomy than those who are married. - Cohabiters have more personal freedom than those who are married. - Those who live together have more individual financial freedom than married partners do. - Cohabiters have greater gender equity, less-traditional gender roles, and share household chores more than married couples do. - Couples who cohabit have greater flexibility in their commitments to their relationships.

What are the three general types of scripts?

- Cultural Scripts - Intrapsychic Scripts - Interpersonal Scripts

What are the gay man's hypothetical date dating scripts?

- Discuss plans - Groom/dress - Prepare (clean apartment) - Meet date at location - Get to know by talking - Talk/laugh/joke - Go to movies/show - Eat/drink (non alcoholic) - Initiate physical contact - Make out - Make plans for another date - Take date home

What are the lesiban's hypothetical date dating scripts?

- Discuss plans - Tell friends about date - Groom/dress - Meet date at location - Leave for another location - Get to know by talking - Talk/laugh/joke - Go to movies/show - Eat/drink (non alcoholic) - Initiate physical contact - Make plans for another date - Kiss/hug goodnight - Go home

What are the gay man's actual date dating scripts?

- Discussed plans - Was nervous - Groom/dress - Picked up date - Left for another location - Evaluated date - Went to a movie/show - Ate/drank (non alcoholic) - Drank alcohol - Made out - Had sex - Stayed over - Made plans for another date - Went home

What are the lesiban's actual date dating scripts?

- Discussed plans - Was nervous - Groom/dress - Prepared (clean apartment) - Picked up date - Get to know date - Talked/laughed/joked - Went to a movie - Positive feelings - Initiate physical contact - Kissed/hugged - Took date home - Went home

What are the two typical breakup reactions?

- Distress - Protest

What are some of the contemporary reasons, according to David H. Olson and his colleague, that couples live together before marriage?

- Economic advantages - Time together - Increased intimacy - Less complication in dissolution of relationship if it doesn't work out - "Testing" compatibility - Trial marriage

What is the role of costs in a relationship?

- Increases the likelihood or probability that a person will not take part in a given behavior. - Can be experienced as punishments or lost rewards because individuals may engage in one behavior rather than other.

What is 'The Silent Generation'?

- Individuals born between 1928 and 1945. - They were born in an era of conformity and by and large they conformed to the traditional views of marriage, family, and divorce. - Divorce, commonly, was not viewed as a realistic option.

What are 'Baby Boomers'?

- Individuals born between 1946 and 1965. - This generation is rebellious, rebelling with drugs, sex, and rock and roll. - They welcomed resistance to the established norms and values, pushing the traditional boundaries of the silent generation. - They put individual needs ahead of marriage and family needs, emphasizing climbing the career ladder over the importance of family. - Dual-income households increased as women rushed the workforce. - Divorce increased, and to this day, baby boomers divorce more than any other age group.

What are 'Generation X'?

- Individuals born between 1965 and 1980. - This generation was the first to have divorced parents as a common experience. - This generation was the first to commonly experience stepfamily living. - They stayed married for much longer and at much higher rates than the previous generation, baby boomers.

What are 'Millennials"?

- Individuals born between 1981 and 1996. - They are blamed for almost all of society's problems. - They are putting off marriage longer, a lot of them are opting to start families before marriage or forgo marriage in general. - Their views on established gender roles are impacting society's traditional views on the meaning of male and female.

Define: Interpersonal Scripts

- Interpersonal scripts are highly personalized and detailed and are a combination of a person's cultural and intrapsychic scripts. - For instance, a common American cultural script for a first date includes going to a movie, whereas a person's intrapsychic script may specify engaging in a shared interest, such as attending an ice hockey game together. - In order to have a successful date, it's important that each dating partner shares with the other what he or she believes to be an "ideal" date, so that each person' interpersonal script is followed.

What are some personality traits and behavior characteristics that are important factors for women when choosing a marriage mate?

- Kindness - Warmth - Openness - Commitment

What two models explore how couples move beyond the initial physical attraction and form committed relationships?

- Knapp's Relationship Escalation Model - Duck's Relationship Filtering Model

Why do people swipe left?

- Not phsycially attracted - Picky - Not interesting - Mood (went with my gut instinct) - Safety (unhealthy behavior, creepers, racist) - Only want sexual hookup

What are the three different types of commitment that family and social psychologist Michael P. Johnson (1991) identified?

- Personal Commitment - Moral Commitment - Structural Commitment

Define: Intrapsychic Scripts

- Personal and individualized and represent our private wishes, hopes, desires, and dreams. - These scripts may contain sexual or relational fantasies or personal expectations for another person's behavior. - In these scripts, for instance, a woman may expect that her dating partner pay for everything on every date.

Why do people swipe right?

- Physical attraction - Selective swiper - Interesting/similar interests - Shotgun (impulse) approach - Miscellaneous - Depends on the mood - Game (entertainment) - Sexual hookup

What are some examples of distress reactions to breaking up?

- Physical/emotional distress - Lost interest in sex - Self-blame - Guilt - Partner blame

Define: Protector/Provider Cues

- Positive genetic traits and characteristics a woman looks for in a mate. - Such as: - Intelligence. - Physical strength - Industry (a hard worker) - Ambition

What are some guidelines to minimize risk to a person's safety and well-being while online dating?

- Practice common sense - Pay attention - Research - Know what you want

What are some of the variables we use to filter potential mates?

- Propinquity - Homogamy - Heterogamy - Physical Attraction - Reciprocity

Define: Filter Theory of Mate Selection

- Suggests that individuals use a filtering mechanism (based on propinquity, homogamy, heterogamy, physical attraction, or reciprocity) that helps individuals sort out a potential mate from the vast pool of candidates, or eligible partners.

Define: Rewards

- The benefits that are exchanged in a social relationship. - Anything considered beneficial to an individual.

Define: Sociological or Incidental Cues

- The first filter of Stephen Duck's system, this relates to the restrictions and limitations placed on one's ability to meet people. - These cues speak to one's sociological location or position or the places where one lives and works.

Define: Cognitive Cues

- The fourth filter of Stephen Duck's system. - Another's personality traits, beliefs, goals and aspirations, as well as the roles they play in life.

What are the known characteristics of hooking up?

- The nature of the relationship is non-committed—there are, as my student said, no expectations of a relationship following the hookup. - Hooking up sexual behaviors are wide-ranging, from kissing to penetrative sex. - Partners of hookups can be strangers, acquaintances, friends, or ex-partners.

Define: Preinteraction Cues

- The second filter of Stephen Duck's system. - At-a-glance information that helps us decide whether we would even consider wanting a date with a certain person. - Outward attractiveness would be an example of a preinteraction cue.

Define: Cohabitation

- The term that is used to describe the living arrangements of unmarried, intimate partners who typically have a sexual relationship—is the prevailing living arrangement of intimate partners and the step following serious dating. - Religion, age, race, social class, and levels of education all affect the rate of cohabitation among different regions in the United States.

Define: Interaction Cues

- The third filter of Stephen Duck's system. - Cues that enable us to assess whether we want to get to know a person any better. - As we interact, we gain a better idea of the extent to which we may want to relate to a person.

What are some examples of protest reactions to breaking up?

- Want/try to get back together - Sexual arousal - Anger/hostility/revenge - Physical hurt - Preoccupation - Exploration/interference

Define: Evolutionary Theory (for mate selection purports)

- We choose mates for the sole purpose of maximizing and enhancing our reproductive efforts, to ensure reproductive success—and the success of the species and society. - Since every society has some form of socially approved union between men and women, sociologists and anthropologists have sought to determine the mechanisms by which men and women are attracted to one another.

What are the three factors, according to relationship psychologist Eli J. Finkel and his colleagues, that affect the growth of commitment in a relationship?

1. Growing satisfaction with each other's ability to meet and gratify important needs 2. Decreasing reliance on friends and family to meet needs that members of a couple provide each other 3. Increasing investments in the relationship, such as time, material resources, and emotional/personal investment

What are the five stages of Knapp's Relationship Escalation Model?

1. Initiation - In this stage, people initially observe the traits/characteristics of another person, while they are also being judged. - Individuals present their "public selves". - Can occur in just a few seconds. 2. Experimenting/Exploration - The information-gathering stage. - Individuals have not spent a lot of time together, but it is at this point that they, through casual conversation, gather enough information to determine whether either party desires to continue the relationship. 3. Intensification - During this stage, the parameters of the relationship are set and individuals begin to state their levels of commitment. - As individuals spend more time together, their formal interactions give way to less formal and more spontaneous conversation. - The level of self-disclosure increases, as might the level of physical contact. 4. Integrating - This is the stage where the two individuals become a "couple" and are identified as such by their family and friends. - Each shares their relational identity. 5. Bonding/Intimacy - During this stage, the couple reaches a shared level of interdependence. - Knapp (1984) notes that during this relationship stage, some type of formal, official announcement is made of the couple's commitment to one another (such as an engagement or marriage).

What are the four cues used in Duck's Relationship Filtering Model?

1. Sociological or Incidental Cues 2. Preinteraction Cues 3. Interaction Cues 4. Cognitive Cues

Define: Pair Bond

A couple who is emotionally bonded to one another, which characterizes the couple's union.

Define: Sexual Selection

A form of natural selection that happens in two ways: - Members of one sex compete among themselves for opportunities to mate—the pool of potential mating candidates is limited. The "winners" reproduce more than the other competitors and natural selection occurs. - A member of one sex chooses to mate with a specific person (or people)—some people are more preferable to mate with than others.

What is a script, in essence?

A guideline.

Define: Cost

A missed opportunity or exchanged resources that results in loss or punishment and increases the likelihood or probability that a person will not take part in a given behavior.

Define: Speed Dating

A quick face-to-face meeting that enables people to decide whether they share mutual interests and are interested in another, more extended, date.

Define: Common Law Marriage

A relationship between cohabiting heterosexual partners who are not legally married; however, the couple holds themselves out as husband and wife.

Define: Exogamy

A requirement to marry outside of a particular group. In the United States, for example, we cannot marry a sibling or, in some states, a first cousin.

Define: Asexual

An individual who does not experience sexual attraction.

Define: Protest Reactions

Behaviors and feelings that attempt to reestablish a relationship, such as trying to reinvolve the ex-partner in sexual relations.

What is the primary goal of females in mate selection?

Due to the fact that childbearing is riskier for women then for men, and a women is very limited in her ability to reproduce, a woman is concerned with the quality of the children they produce.

Define: Moral Commitment

Each person's value and belief systems. Before committing to or ending a relationship, individuals consciously weigh what is right and what is wrong, guided by their value/belief/religious framework.

Define: Pool of Candidates

Eligible relationship partners.

What are the first year women's dating scripts?

Initiation: - Talking - Meeting in public - Shared interest - Meeting in group - Man picks up date - Meet in common place - Casual interaction Activities: - Movies - Dinner - Talking - Shared interest Outcomes: - Talking - Watching TV - Go back to the house - Kiss goodnight - Go home - Relationship development

What do same-sex couples perceive relationship commitment as involving?

Investments in their partners: - Emotional and physical investment as well as investments of personal resources. Rewards: - Companionship, sexual satisfaction, and fulfillment. Costs: - Limits of personal freedom, legal constraints, and stress/conflict associated with disclosing the relationship to family and friends. Personal values and ideals: - Desire for sexual and emotional intimacy, communication, and overall high relationship quality.

Define: Aromantic

Not romantically attracted to ro desiring of romantic relationships at all.

Define: Homogamy

Partnering with someone who is similar to you in ethnic and racial background, religious upbringing, age, education level, political ideology, socioeconomic status, and values and beliefs.

Define: Heterogamy

Partners who are dissimilar in one or more dimensions, such as race, ethnicity, or religion, or dissimilar in age, political ideology, socioeconomic status, and values and beliefs.

Define: Hooking up

Physical or sexual attraction with the absence of commitment or affection.

Define: Fertility Cues

Physical traits associated with fertility, such as youth and curves in women.

Define: Distress Reactions

Reactions to a breakup that include such things as physical and emotional pain, loss of interest in sex, and guilt.

What does the balance sheet filter refer to?

Reciprocity.

Define: Biromantic

Romantically attracted to/desires romantic relationships with multiple genders.

Define: Heteroromantic

Romantically attracted to/desires romantic relationships with the opposite gender.

Define: Panromantic

Romantically attracted to/desires romantic relationships without gender being a factor.

Define: Homoromantic

Romantically attracted/to desires romantic relationships with the same gender.

Define: Dating

Socializing for any number of reasons, such as for relaxation and escape from everyday responsibilities or to pursue a relationship to determine whether the partner is a potential spouse or a partner for a lifelong relationship.

Define: Courting

Socially prescribed forms of conduct that guide men and women toward matrimony.

Define: Interpersonal Attraction

The attraction between people that leads to the development of platonic (friendly, nonsexual) or romantic (sexual) relationships.

Define: Endogamy

The custom of marrying within that same group, such as Muslims marrying Muslims or Asians marrying Asians.

Define: Personal Commitment

The feelings, thoughts, and beliefs we have about a spouse, life mate, or significant other.

Define: Dating Scripts

The models that guide our dating interactions.

Define: Dating Violence

The perpetration or the threat of an act of violence against a person involved in a dating or courting relationship.

Define: Matching Hypothesis

The premise that most of us want a socially desirable person regardless of our own degree of social desirability.

What is the role of rewards in a relationship?

The probability that the behavior will continue—as long as the perceived rewards are greater than the perceived costs of a given behavior, the behavior will continue.

Define: Romantic Orientations

The sex or gender with which a person is likely to have a romantic relationship or fall in love.

Define: Script Theory

The theory that individuals use scripts (information about expected, stereotypical actions) that help us organize the information in our environments.

What did Sprecher (1998) find about most researchers who use the Social Exchange Theory in their study of interpersonal attraction?

They equate mate/partner selection to a competitive marketplace that has rewards and costs.

What is the primary goal of males in mate selection?

To impregnate as many women as possible.

Which of the following describes a key characteristic of Social Exchange theory? a. All social behavior occurs within a series of varying exchanges. b. When costs are received by the individual, they feel obligated to reciprocate those costs. c. Cost minus rewards equals the outcome of an interpersonal exchange. d. All individuals attempt to maximize their costs and minimize their rewards.

a. All social behavior occurs within a series of varying exchanges.

Which theoretical perspective tells us that the sole purpose of choosing mates is for enhancing reproductive efforts and ensuring reproductive success for the future of society? a. Evolutionary Theory b. Differential Association Theory c. Social Exchange Theory d. Filter Theory of Mate Selection

a. Evolutionary Theory

Which of the following is a scientific finding regarding transgender experiences in dating for trans women? a. These individuals experience heightened anxiety of "outing" themselves to their partner. b. The benefits of dating trans women include better mental health and lower levels of depression. c. Trans women have lower relationship quality across all categories of transgender dating. d. Trans women feel a stigma by association in dating and social experiences.

a. These individuals experience heightened anxiety of "outing" themselves to their partner.

Which of the following is the most common reaction an individual has after casual sex? a. embarrassment b. depression c. emotional instability d. loss of respect

a. embarrassment

In non-westernized countries, men tend to list physical appearance, age, and domestic skills as desirable qualities in female mates. These are also known as ______. a. fertility cues b. evolutionary cues c. protector cues d. provider

a. fertility cues

In the video, Professor Alli Cipra says that people tend to choose mates who are similar to them. Which term describes this phenomenon? a. homogamy b. endogamy c. exogamy d. heterogamy

a. homogamy

Which of the following is the most common reason why couples choose to cohabitate? a. to test the relationship b. for a marriage alternative c. to increase intimacy levels d. to increase time together

a. to test the relationship

Among emerging adults of both sexes, "hooking up" typically refers to sexual encounters. a. true b. false

a. true

Approximately half of all cohabiters are under the age of 35. a. true b. false

a. true

Cohabiting couples have a greater decline in life satisfaction when experiencing a break-up. a. true b. false

a. true

Consent must be explicit, enthusiastic, and continuous in a sexual encounter. a. true b. false

a. true

Despite increased levels of nonmarital cohabitation, most Americans will still marry at least once in their lifetime. a. true b. false

a. true

Gay male cohabiters are most likely white and highly educated as compared to non-partnered gay men. a. true b. false

a. true

Human interactions require reciprocity or exchange. a. true b. false

a. true

The custom of courting helps people work toward establishing a lifelong partnership. a. true b. false

a. true

Which of the following is a reason why college students choose to hook up, according to the text? a. wanting to engage in something enjoyable b. hopes toward getting into a relationship c. mutual emotional attraction d. inability to find a suitable partner

a. wanting to engage in something enjoyable

Which individual is famous for the theory of evolution and natural section? a. Karl Marx b. Charles Darwin c. W.E.B. DuBois d. Adam Smith

b. Charles Darwin

_________ is the living arrangement of unmarried, intimate partners with a sexual relationship, which often resembles a marriage. a. stepfamily b. cohabitation c. common law marriage d. non-resident parent

b. cohabitation

______ provide instructions on what behaviors and emotions are expected under certain situations. a. interpersonal scripts b. cultural scripts c. soliciting scripts d. intrapsychic scripts

b. cultural scripts

__________ is an occasion where people can gather for a variety of reasons in a social setting. a. homogamy b. dating c. soliciting d. courting

b. dating

In terms of same-sex dating scripts, what do lesbians indicate as the most valued dating ritual? a. level of outness b. emotional intimacy c. sexual activity d. physical attraction

b. emotional intimacy

Boys are more likely than girls to date in adolescence. a. true b. false

b. false

Islamic cultures have started to support cohabitation when necessary for parenting. a. true b. false

b. false

The more religiously active a person is the more likely they are to support cohabitation in lieu of marriage. a. true b. false

b. false

Which of the following is an example of a protest reaction to breaking up? a. loss of sense of self-identity b. loss of interest in hobbies or activites c. attempts to engage in sex with exes d. physical and emotional pain

c. attempts to engage in sex with exes

Which of the following is defined as a threat or an act of violence against any person involved in a dating or courting relationship? a. sexual assault b. domestic abuse c. dating violence d. hooking up

c. dating violence

The ______ suggests that we consider key variables to select potential mates from a vast pool of candidates. a. Differential Association Theory b. Evolutionary Theory c. Social Exchange Theory d. Filter Theory of Mate Selection

d. Filter Theory of Mate Selection

______ is centered on the idea that individuals will act upon their own self-interests in order to make the most out of their resources. a. Filter Theory of Mate Selection b. Evolutionary Theory c. Differential Association Theory d. Social Exchange Theory

d. Social Exchange Theory

Which component of the Knapp's Relationship Escalation Model occurs when two individuals initially observe the traits of another person? a. exploration b. intensification c. integrating d. initiation

d. initiation

Which component of Knapp's Relationship Escalation Model occurs when two individuals become a "couple" and start to be referred to as such by friends and family? a. intensification b. exploration c. initiation d. integrating

d. integrating

Perry is attracted to a delivery guy at her work, but she has yet to talk to him. One day she happens to be the one taking the delivery and finally gets to talk to him. Throughout their conversation, Perry learns he has sexist attitudes about women and her attraction to him ends. Which type of cue occurred for Perry once she was able to talk to the delivery guy? a. incidental cue b. preinteraction cue c. cognitive cue d. interaction cue

d. interaction cue

In terms of the types of commitment, which type refers to a person's value and belief system? a. structural commitment b. religious commitment c. personal commitment d. moral commitment

d. moral commitment

Physical proximity, or _______, is an important factor in mate selection. a. natural selection b. protector cues c. geographical eligibility d. propinquity

d. propinquity

_____ is a dating practice that occurs in a limited time frame and allows people to meet a variety of people face to face so they can decide whether they are interested in spending more time with each other. a. courting b. matchmaking c. online dating d. speed dating

d. speed dating

Which of the following is a pro of online dating? a. emotional vulnerability b. ability to reach a specific person c. potential for online deceit d. synchronous communication.

d. synchronous communication.