Chapter 12- Attraction

Romantic Love

- "In love" raises attraction and sexual arousal -Youngers who are too young to experience "the real thing" of love is called "Puppy love" or "crushes" - *59% of men and 51% of women believed in love at first sight. 98% said they have been in love at least once - Romantic love rated by young people as the single most important reason for marriage - When love is unrequired, it can lead to emptiness, anxiety, and despair. - Romantic love shifts between ecstasy (good feeling) and misery

Infatuation vs. True Love

- *Infatuation- a state of intense absorption in or focus on another person, usually accompanied by sexual desire, elation, and general physiological arousal or excitement. Infatuation is also referred to as passion, other refer to it as a "crush" - Infatuation is based on intense feelings of passing but not on the deeper attachment and caring that typify lasting mutual love - For the first few months' infatuation and the more enduring forms of romantic love are hard to differentiate. At first, both may be characterized by intense focusing or absorption - In some cases, couples in the throes of infatuation rush to get married only to find, a few weeks or months later, that they're not well suited for each other - As time goes on, signs that distinguish infatuation from a lasting romantic love begin to emerge as partners view one another more realistically and are better able to determine whether the relationship should continue. - "Positive illusion" tends to persist in relationships- that is, we tend to differentiate our partners from the average and to differentiate the value of ones relationship from the average - Some couples develop deep feelings of love without ever experiencing the fireworks of infatuation.

Singh 1993- Waist-to-Hip Preference

- .7 is the most attractive hip-to-waist ratio. - .7 more attractive than .8, etc. Linear fact, as hip to waist ratio gets larger, the attractiveness goes up - As you move from .7 to 1.0 people are less attractive as waist to hip are less intense- curves are bomb.

Factors Affecting Attraction: Colour

- Attraction is impacted by the type of color a person wears - Found that when women wear red, it affects peoples perceptions of attractiveness, thinking they are sexier. Study: Eliot and Niesta 2008 - Perceived attractiveness for men rating women wearing the color red - For women not much of a difference - Schwartz and Singer 2013- found that people wearing the colour red appear to be more sexually attractive, not more beautiful. If they're wearing red they're viewed as someone they would want to have sex with, not necessarily prettier.

Contemporary Models of Love: Biological Mechanisms

- Bodily changes that occur when we experience romantic love - Distinct neural pathways (road maps in the brain) that defines the feeling of love - Others involve chemisty involved in the brain's pleasure system (including dopamine and the naturally produced opium look-alikes we call endorphins), as well as different hormones

Is Beauty in the Eyes of the Beholder? Studies

- Cohen and Tannenbaum 2001-conducted Internet survey and asked Lesbian and bisexual women to indicate which body types they found most attractive. Findings: they found .7 waist to hip body ratios most attractive. - Other findings: Gay men found younger partners more sexually appealing than did heterosexual men, while lesbians found older partners more sexually appealing than heterosexual women did. - Men's breast size preference: 24% preferred small breasts, 24% large, 19% very large - Heterosexual women in the fertile phase of their menstrual cycles found men with deeper voices more attractive than men with higher voices

Walster et al. (1966)

- Correlation between physical attractiveness and liking of date Rated based on: - Objective rating- based on physical attractiveness by just looking at a picture - Subjective rating- how i feel about that person once i got to know them. How one perceives the person. Findings: - As we get to know someone better, they will start to look more physically attractive to us (subjective) - The more physically attractive they are, the more we like our data (objective) - Find for men and women, people's ratings for how much they like their date is related to others ratings like how physically attracted they are. How attractive people are rated predicts how much one likes their date and would want to go on another date. Other studies: • Montoya 1998- looked at people dating, asked how physically attractive they think their partner is. • Findings: 100% of people found partner above average. These stats cannot be fully true.

Is Beauty in the Eyes of the Beholder?

- Cultural differences in both men and women's preferences for opposite gender partners - North American, European and Japanese men prefer women who are thinner than average while men in South America and Africa generally prefer women who are comparatively heavier (.9 waist-to-hip ratio). - Women around the world consider taller men to be more attractive - Height suggests- social dominance, status, access to resources, positive heritable traits - Undergrad women prefer to date men 15cm taller, men prefer women 11cm shorter then them. - * African-American and Latina women are significantly more likely than European-American women to be satisfied with their body.

Determinants of Physical Attractiveness- Culture (thinness)

- Culture to culture differences in how people are attracted, how people's bodies are formed and shaped. Ex: standard of beauty in Africa is when they have long necks - Thinness in our culture is preferred by women and men, but not valued in all cultures and society. - Cultural creation on thinness. How culture shapes thinness

Marlow et. al 2005

- Did one of these waist-to-hip studies in Africa, Hazda. Tested average waist to hip ratio Findings: - They prefer closer to a straight body, .9 amongst females. The Hazda men preferred .9 body types also.

Evolutionary Perspective on Mate Preference

- Evolutionary forces favor the continuation of gender differences in mate preferences, because certain preferred traits offer reproductive advantages - Organisms are genetically motivated to reproduce so physical features such as cleanliness, good complexion, clear eyes, good teeth, good hair, etc. are universally appealing to both genders - *Physical characteristics associated with a woman's youthfulness such as smooth skin, firm muscle tone and lustrous hair may be closely linked to a woman's appeal - Mans reproductive value depends more on how well he can provide for family than his age or physical appearance- men's economic status and reliability also important - As cultures develop higher levels of gender equality, male and female standards of attractiveness will gradually change; some would argue they already see this change... - Are women placing more emphasis on men's physical appearance as they begin to equal men in economic power? Are men increasingly enticed by high-powered professional women?

Non-Physical Traits and Attractiveness

- Females and males rate faces as more attractive if they're similar than if they are not. - Women attracted to socially dominant men, but not vice versa - Highly feminine women more likely than less feminine women to be attracted to dominant "macho" men - Men more likely to be jealous of socially dominant men, whereas women are jealous of physically attractive women

Helberstat 2013

- Measured Dutch and New Zealand Individual faces and Morphed faces and saw which country liked which faces better. Findings: - Dutch: liked dutch individuaul faces the best. For New Zealand, they thought the morphed faces were more attractive than NZ individual faces. - New Zealand: Exact same as dutch but for their country. Like NZ individual faces best and Dutch morphed faces. - Suggesting that if you take faces that are more familiar/local celebrities and morph them they are less attractive than original face. - The more familiar you are with the face, the more attractive you find it as they liked the morphed face the least for their country as it was the least familiar. - Findings are universal- like familiar more than unfamiliar. Like if you see a face more, the more you like it, the less scared you are...

How Important is Physical Attractiveness? Sex Differences

- Men focus more on looks than women. Women have more investment in offspring than men so when it comes to choosing mate, they want a good, committed and all around nice person. - Attributes such as status, provider more important for women. - David Bust- gives people a list of attributes and got them to rate it. Find pattern that men rate attractiveness higher, women rate status higher then men.

Do Opposites Attract or do Birds of a Feather Flock Together?

- Opposites do NOT attract - We're less likely to be with someone who disagrees with our views and tastes - One reason is propinquity (proximity) liking those who live near us, in close contact with us, people whose backgrounds are similar -*Similarity in attitudes and tastes is a key contributor to attraction, friendship, and love relationship Sex difference: - Women more likely to place greater weight on similar attitudes as a determinant of attraction - Men are likely to play more value on physical attractiveness - Compatibility is stronger than initial attraction in maintaining an intimate relationship

Phyical Attractiveness: How important is to look good?

- Physical attractiveness is a major determinant of interpersonal and sexual attraction - It is the key factor in consideration of partners for dates, sex, and long-term relationships

Universal Factors- Evolution and Symmetry

- Predicts what people should find attractive based on evolutionary survival- idea of evolved preferences are clues that will help our genes survive - One good strategy is to pick a mate that is healthy. If I'm attractive to people who look healthier, our baby will be more likely to survive and live. - If there is a genetic tendency to prefer certain features, then any unhealthy looks are less preferred. - Over hundreds of generations, differences get bigger and all humans find different markers attractive. This is done at unconscious level - Studies that find- both men and women find faces with larger eyes more attractive. Evolutionary argument- baby's eyes are usually bigger then their head, so if you like big eyes because that's what baby's look like then you will find people with bigger eyes more attractive. - Symmetry- looked at male animals that were more attractive and looked at their antlers, if they were symmetric. Findings: symmetric animals more attractive. - Asymmetry can be a sign of health problems when you were younger. This is something that female moose's presumably are attracted too. - Humans prefer a face that is more symmetric than asymmetric

Contemporary Models of Love: Love as Appraisal of Arousal

- Romantic love as a state of intense physiological arousal and the cognitive appraisal of that arousal as love. - Perception that one has fallen in love is derived from several simultaneous events: a state of intense physiological arousal in connection with an appropriate love object, a cultural setting that idealizes romantic love, and ones attribution of the physiological arousal of feelings of love for the person

Swami et al. (2010)- Average rating of attractiveness of line drawings- Gender and Region

- Sample: 7,000 people from 10 different regions in the world. Got people to rate what is most attractive - Women in North America tend to think thinner is more attractive than what men think... this is not universal though. Findings: - Different regions and gender difference on what is attractive: North America and Western Europe: - What women seem to think "thin" is attractive, is more thin than what men actually think is attractive - Aspect of women being taught thin is beautiful to a degree beyond what men think applies a lot in western cultures, not as much other parts of the world. Media can be responsible for this Africa and South East Asia -Men and women do not differ that much on preference of thinness- have relatively the same idea of what "thin" is attractive

Fallon and Rozin (1985)

- Shows pictures of a variation of bodies for men and women- goes from thin body to thicker. They showed men and women these pictures and asked how attractive thin vs. thicker bodies are. - What women think is attractive in a female body is skinnier than what men think is attractive in a female body - This idea of wanting a really skinny body is in the minds of women, more so then reflecting reality on what men think is attractive - Men think women think bigger muscles are more attractive than what women actually prefer. - These preferences are created rather than pre-existing. - Barbie doll standard- very very thin women with large breast. This causes some people to get cosmetic surgery to make bodies look more like standard culturally created "hot" ideal body.

Book notes: The Attraction- Similarity Hypothesis: Who's Right For you?

- The concept that people tend to develop romantic relationships with people who are similar to themselves in factors such as physical attractiveness, cultural background, personality traits and interests Gender differences: - Men more likely to communicate positive feelings and present themselves in a positive light when talking with a woman who is similar in physical attractiveness - Physical attractiveness is more important for men than women in partner selection - People more often than not similar to partner in height, weight, personality

Factors Affecting Attraction: Familiarity

- The more you see someone/more familiar, the more attractive they are. From Moreland & Beach (1992) attraction ratings (7 point scale) Appearances 0 3.62 5 3.88 10 4.25 15 4.38 - 0= never seen person before - 5= person came to 5 classes, etc. - Found that those who went to more classes that, those people who you saw more were rated more attractive

Universal Factors- Evolution and "Average" faces

- We seem to prefer faces that are more average, more typical - Studies found- if you take 5 faces and morph them into 1 face, the morphed average face is more attractive then the sum of 5 individual faces. - Study done by Valentine et. Al 2004- took pictures of same people, one is front view and the second picture is in profile. In profile you cannot tell how symmetric a person is. They did the average faces and the findings: even in profile, people like the morphed picture more then the sum of the pictures. - Mirror symmetrical effect- the more you see or are exposed to a face, the more you like it. - We are wired up to have a better reaction to novelty. The more familiar something is the more we like it.

Factors Affecting Attraction: Scarcity

- We value things that are hard to get Gladue and Delaney 1990 - Did a study on how attractive people look as the night at a club comes to an end. - Don't the girls get prettier as closing time gets near- meaning the girls that stay later are getting prettier and prettier - Times running out so we value the resources that are available. - *You see that ratings of attractiveness goes up as closing time approaches

Reciprocity: If you like Me, You Must Have Excellent Judgment

- We're more helpful, and candid when we're with strangers who seem to like us - The power of reciprocity may enable many couples to become happy with another and reasonably well adjusted

What Do You Look For in a Relationship?

- When choosing a future spouse, women rated responsibility very high in a relationship whereas men rated physical attractiveness - When choosing a casual sex partner, women rated physical attractiveness as more important then men - Both men and women rated responsibility as most important when choosing a future spouse, followed by physical attractiveness, sexual skills, and status or popularity. - Women value traits such as "manage money well", is financially successful, well-educated and intelligent and shares your religion

Love and Greek Heritage

4 concepts related to the modern meaning of love: 1. storge (store-gay): loving attachment and nonsexual affection, this is the type of emotion that binds parents to children 2. agaphe (ah-gah-pay): selfless love, this kind of love is similar to generosity and charity 3. philia (feel0yuh): love between friends, this kind of love is based on liking and respect rather than sexual desire 4. eros: the kind of love that's closest to our modern day concept of passion - Erotic love embraces sudden passionate desire- love at first sight and falling head over heals in love - Younger university students are more likely than older students to believe in love at first sight and "love conquers all" - Sexual arousal and desire may be the strongest component of passionate or romantic love. - Romantic love begins with a powerful physical attraction or feelings of passion and is associated with strong physiological arousal

Nelson and Morris 2005- Hunger correlated with Body size

Asked the question: do people who are hungry find larger bodies attractive? - Sample was university students. - Showed men pictures of women when they were on their way to eat (when they are hungry) vs. men rating the same pictures after they have eaten (full). Does their hunger affect their ratings? Findings: - Hunger affected ratings. The hungry men tend to show a higher rating for larger bodies than the men who are not hungry - Hungry men prefer larger bodies, not hungry men prefer smaller hungrier you are, the heavier you like the woman

Factors Affecting Attraction: Playing Hard to Get

From Walster et al. (1973) Rated Liking (highest =12) Experimental Condition Control 8.58 a "easy to get" 8.53 a "hard to get" 7.90 a Selectively "hard to get" 9.41 b - People told this was a study about computer dating - All men they had coming in - Folders of 4 women, men have to decide which woman they want to date. The men see how those women rated them, results: - Easy to get- women would said she would date either of these 4 guys - Hard to get- women said she wouldn't date the guys - Selectively hard to get- she wasn't interested in some of the guys but there were a few she was interested in. She was selective in who she wanted. - Control group- if you don't have any information about the women rating you, this is the average so basically just based on the picture of them. Findings: -Selectively hard to get is the way to go- show people you are interested and then they will build a interest as well. Hard to get is not the key to getting others. - Selectively hard to get is playing hard for every else but the person you want. - Hard to get has the lowest rating of liking

Franklin et. Al 2010

Looked to see the correlation between rating of facial attractiveness and sexual or non-sexual liking ratings (separate sample) - Took pictures and showed them to a group of people to rate for 1- sexual attractiveness, 2- personality/ someone you would like to have as a lab partner. - Attractiveness, physical attractiveness and likeability. - Showed pictures that you either process by right or left hemisphere of brain. Research shows right hemisphere more responsible for encoding things that are rewarded, things we like. - Different bars are participants ratings vs other peoples sexual attraction. Findings: - Higher correlation between peoples ratings and other peoples sexual attraction ratings. - Right hemispheres more sensitive to purely physical things

Styles of Love

Love Attitudes scale developed which suggests the existence of 6 styles of love: 1. Romantic love (eros)- "my love fits my ideal" , we were attracted to each other immediately 2. Game-playing love (ludus)- "I keep my lover up in the air about my commitment", "I get over love affairs pretty easily" 3. Friendship (storage, philia)- "the best love grows out of an enduring friendship 4. Logical love (pragma)- "I consider a lover's potential in life before committing myself", "I consider whether my lover will be a good parent" 5. Possessive, excited love (mania)- "I get so excited about my love that I can't sleep", "when my love ignores me I get sick all over" 6. Selfless love (agape)- "I'd do anything I could to help my lover", "my lover's needs and wishes are more important than my own" • University men more likely to develop game-playing and romantic love styles • University women more apt to develop friendly, logical and possessive love style

From Swami et al. (2010)- Men's ratings and Regions

Men's ratings of average rating of attractiveness of line drawings (9 = most attractive) - Based on very slender, slender, and average. Looked at Malaysia and South African urban vs. rural populations. Findings: - In urban places- men more likely to find very slender and slender more attractive than heavy/average - In rural areas- exact opposite. More preference on heavy bodies than on slender bodies. - Places where nutrition is an issue tend to like heavier bodies. Healthier, nourished=heavier.