Chapter 6 COM

Counterfeit Question

A question that is not truly a request for new information.

Comfort

A response style in which a listener reassures, supports, encourages, or distracts the person seeking help.

Task-oriented Listening

A response style in which the goal is to secure information necessary to get a job done.

Analytical Listening

A response style in which the primary goal is to understand a message.

Defensive Listening

A response style in which the receiver perceives a speaker's comments as an attack.

Insulated Listeners

A style in which the receiver ignores undesirable information.

Pseudolisten

An imitation of true listening.

Mindful Listening

Being fully present with people-paying close attention to their gestures, manner, and silences, as well as to what they say.

Judging Response

Feedback that indicates a listener is evaluating the sender's thoughts or behaviors.

Advising Response

Helping response in which the receiver offers suggestions and how the speaker should deal with a problem.

Critical Listening

Listening in which the goals to evaluate the quality or accuracy of the speaker's remarks.

Reflect

Listening that helps the person speaking think about the words they have just spoken.

Passive Narcissists

People who are so wrapped up in themselves that they fail to be supportive or encouraging of others.

Conversational Narcissists

People who focus on themselves and their interests instead of listening to and encouraging others.

Listening Fidelity

The degree of congruence between what a listener understands and what the message sender was attempting to communicate.

Insensitive LIsteners

The failure to recognize the thoughts or feelings that are not directly expressed by a speaker, and instead accepting the speaker's words at face value.

Residual Message

The part of a message a receiver can recall after short-and long-term memory loss.

Hearing

The process wherein sound waves strike the eardrum and cause vibrations that are transmitted to the brain.

Listening

The process wherein the brain recognizes sound and gives them meaning.

Supportive Listening

The reception approach to use when others seek help for personal dilemmas.

Prompting

Using silence and brief statements to encourage a speaker to continue talking.

Attending

-Hearing, Attending, -The process of focusing on certain stimuli in the environment.

Understanding

-Hearing, Attending, Understanding, -The process of making sense of a message.

Responding

-Hearing, Attending, Understanding, Responding, -Providing observable feedback to another person's behavior or speech.

Remembering

-Hearing, Attending, Understanding, Responding, Remembering -The act of recalling previously introduced information. The amount of recall drops off in two phrases: short-term and long-term.

What are the four main types of counterfeit questions?

1. Assertions disguised as questions. 2. Lurking hidden agendas 3. Leading questions 4. Unchecked assumptions

Following are 10 strategies to avoid the pitfalls and be an effective listener when the goal is to connect with another person and/or help them through a difficult time.

1. Be sensitive to personal and situational factors. 2. Allow enough time. 3. Ask questions. 4. Encourage further comments 5. Listen for unexpressed thoughts and feelings. 6. Reflect back the speaker's thoughts. 7. Consider the other person's needs when analyzing. 8. Reserve judgement, expect in rare cases. 9. Think twice before offering advice. 10. Offer comfort, if appropriate.

What are the five reasons to be a better listener?

1. People with good listening skills are more likely than others to be hired and promoted. 2. Listening is a leadership skill. 3. Good listeners are not easily fooled. 4. Asking for and listening to advice makes you look good. 5. Listening makes you a better friend and romantic partner.

What are the seven bad habits to control if you want to be fully present with the people around you?

1. Pretending to Listen. 2. Tuning in and out. 3. Being defensive. 4. Avoiding the issue 5. Missing the underlying point. 6. Being self-centered. 7. Assuming that talking is more impressive than listening.

Selective Listening

A listening style in which the receiver responds only to messages that interest them.

Relational Listening

A listening style that is driven primarily by the desire to build emotional closeness with the speaker.

Feynman Technique

A process proposed by physicist Richman Feynman that involves depicting a complex concept as best one can on paper, describing the concept as if teaching it to a child, considering what aspects of the idea are still unclear, and then reviewing information further to achieve even deeper understanding of it.