Chapter 6- Counseling Skills

Remember... Behaviors to Avoid

-Advice giving -Lecturing -Excessive questioning -Storytelling

Counseling Skills The ones we will focus on:

-Attending behaviors and active listening -Encouragers -Open and closed questions -Reflections -Paraphrasing -Summarizing -Silence -Confrontation -Very positive experience in counseling -Not negative

Attending Skills

-Physical attending -Posture, eye contact, and general body position that communicate the counselor is paying attention to the client -SOLER Model -S: facing the client squarely -O: adopt an open, non-defensive posture -L: lean forward toward the family to show interest -E: make good eye contact -R: stay relaxed

Summarizing

-Putting together key themes, feelings, and/or issues -Helps to step back and reflect on larger picture -See how multiple issues may be connected -Supportive to a strengths-based approach -Allows clients to recognize how their personal strengths and abilities in one area can be applied to another -often used at the beginning or end of an intake -helpful for transitioning between topics -may also be used when: -provide direction to the session -client rambling, confused or overly lengthy -when client presents a number of unrelated ideas Summarizing: Sara and Jim

Paraphrasing

-Reflecting the content and thoughts of the client's message -A nonjudgemental, accurate understanding of what the client said -Helps when trying to clarify vague discussions -Or when the clients are being convoluted or jamming a lot of mixed information into their stories -Four parents to a paraphrased statement: -Sentence stems -"It sounds like..." -"Joe, I hear you say..." -key words -integration of actual terms clients reference in their discussions -Paraphrase -The essence of what a client communicates makes up the paraphrase -Counselors use their own words along with the clients' key words to make a paraphrased statement -Check-out -Encourages clients to process what the counselor says -Communicated the counselor's trying to understand -It is important that the paraphrased information is accurate by checking in with the client -"Am I hearing you correctly?" -"Have I got it right?" -"Is that close to who you're saying?" -Clients will tell you if you got it wrong -Paraphrasing: Sara and Jim

Encouragers

-Verbal and nonverbal ways of getting the client to continue sharing -"Umhm" -"Yeah" -Head nods -Help lead towards deeper meaning and understanding -Can also repeat key words the client says, but in the form of a question -Can also restate two or more exact words to get a reflection back to the client Ex: Encouragers Sara and Jim

Confrontation

-an advanced counseling skill -is a form of challenge for the client -not a verbal assault -used to point out incongruence or discrepancy -example in packet

Silence

-can be used as an encourages -keeps the focus on the client -can help the client absorb what was said -may help the client collect his or her thoughts -very challenging skill to master, especially for novice counselors

Open Questions

-formulated so the client provides a longer response to the question being asked -typically answer the what, how, could, would, or why -be careful of beginning questions with "why" -"why" questions can come off very judgmental -questions that start with could, can or would are also considered open -empowers the clients to have more control and decide if they're ready to respond -especially true hen discussing painful topics

Closed Questions

-formulated to obtain specific, concrete information and/or get facts straight -typically answer he do, is, or questions -elicit "yes/no" responses -helpful when conducting an intake assessments -too any closed questions can cause the client to shut down and become passive -if you asked so many closed questions in a row, the client will feel like they are being interviewed or interrogated -Counselors must be aware of this during intakes

Active Listening

-hearing focuses on sound while listening focuses on content -passive listening allows the absorption of content, but focuses less on understanding the speaker -active listening focuses on: -client's tone of voice -cues to client's feelings -generalizations, deletions, and distortions -cognitive and emotional themes -client non-verbal communication

Closed vs. Open

-more counselors use open -an effective counselor uses both

Reflections

-paraphrasing or restating clients' feelings and/or words -allow clients to hear their own thoughts and feelings -shows clients that you're trying to perceive their world -encourages the client to continue asking -doesn't involve asking questions or leading the conversation -reflecting content -what is the client saying -reflecting feeling -reflecting the significance of emotion -reflecting meaning -reflecting the significance of the message Example in packet Reflections: Sara and Jim

Three types of empathic understanding

-subtractive empathy -counselor misinterprets the client -appears to not be listening -basic empathy -repeats what client says word for word -inaccurate use of counseling microskills -additive empathy -counselor accurately paraphrases with adding personal thoughts, feelings, emotions, etc. -empathy: Sara and Jim