COM 394 EXAM 1

role relationship

(store clerk or tech help-line staff) -possess few unique qualities, are replaceable, and relatively impersonal -functional or casual -temporary Casual, temporary relationships where participants have limited behavioral interdependence. (cashier)

conventionality-uniqueness

-external dialectic of certainty focuses on how people communicate in ways that show consistency of inconsistency with the larger social group "the Jones are the Jones, the same but different from the generation to the next" "a newly married couple may keep old traditions, but start new ones"

strategies to reduce uncertainty

-get to know people better quickly

personal qualities that affect how attracted you are to someone

-physical perceptions of reward value: want some benefits from the relationship (sex, financial, etc) -expectations: peoples expectations of other people play a large role in attraction process (the use of cell phones on dates) -biological aspects: bodies dictate o some extent whom we are attracted (oxytocin) -demographics: sex, age, and other demographics -personality: 1. attachment style 2. relationship beliefs 3. self-esteem 4. narcissism (pg. 67)

uncertainty (3)

-the motivation to reduce uncertainty -the relationship between communication and uncertainty -the ways people use communication to strategically reduce uncertainty

6 principles of interpersonal relationships

1. Interpersonal communication consists of nonverbal and verbal messages 2. One cannot not communicate in the interpersonal settings 3. Humans use interpersonal communication to fulfill goals. ( self-presentational, relational goals, instrumental goals) 4. Interpersonal communication can be effective or ineffective 5. Every message has content and relational information 6. Interpersonal communication can be symmetrical or asymmetrical

5 principles of relational communication

1. Relationships emerge across ongoing interactions 2. Relationship contextualize messages 3. People send a variety of messages in their relationships 4. Relationships are dynamic (changing) 5. Relational communication is linear and nonlinear

face-threatening acts

are behaviors that detract from an individual's identity by threatening either their positive or negative face desires -forgetting a dinner date with significant other is threatening to your caring partner -lead to negative feelings and retaliatory aggression

negative psychic change

attitudes and perceptions become more negative -seeing a relationship as boring even tho nothing has changed

growth beliefs

based on the belief that impressions of others evolve over time and that people and relationships grow when faced with challenges

destiny beliefs

based on the idea that first impressions of others are fixed and enduring and that people cannot change

emotional attachment

basis of relationship is why we feel happy or sad

judgment-acceptance

being able to accept friends for who they are versus feeling free to offer criticism and advice -friend is in a dead end job, should you accept your friend isn't ambitious or suggest they go out and find something new

disqualification

being ambiguous so that neither side of the dialectic is engaged -changing the topic or avoiding the issue

physical distance

changes with parents as you get older -becoming roommates can cause increase or decreased closeness

bald-on-record strategy

characterized by primary attention to task and little attention to helping the partner save face -most efficient, but face threatening "come home right now"

communication theory of identity

clarify how identities are formed -identity construction can be viewed through lenses

content level of meaning

conveys information at a literal level

uncertainty

defined as the inability to predict or explain someone's attitudes and/ or behaviors -feel insecure in their own state of knowledge or the state of knowledge in general

behavioral control

desire to feel in control of one's life

unattended behavior

do not qualify as communication

inclusion-seclusion

external manifestation of the integration dialect -stress importance of spending time together, but also communicate in ways that they want to keep to themsleves -they usually celebrate anniversary alone, but invited family to their 10th ear anniversary

social inclusion

feeling part of a group

relational communication

focused on the expression and interpretation of messages within close relationships. Relational communication includes the gamut of interactions from vital relational messages to mundane everyday interactions.

expressive-protective

focuses on how much friends express versus keep info private "if you disclose personal info, can be more open to criticism"

politeness theory

focuses on the specific ways that people manage and save face using comunication

efficacy assessment

focusing on whether people feel able to gather information and cope with it -determines how they seek info

close relationship

have: emotional attachment, need fulfillment, irreplaceability -fills the need to belong, feel loved and appreciated, or to care/nurture someone 1. affection 2. social inclusion 3. behavioral control

self-expansion theory

helps explain how identity influences the development of close relationships after first impressions are made 1. ppl seek to expand the self, to be more than they are 2. enter in relationships to expand their identity 3. seeking new and exciting possibilities can improve relationship

public-private

how relationships are negotiated in private versus private -having nicknames you call each other in private, but no when in public

relational goals

how we communicate feelings about others, including the type of relationship we desire 1. activity based: doing things with someone 2. relationship based: involves wanting to initiate, escalate, maintain, or de-escalate a relationship 3. advice based: involves getting advice from peers and parents

assimilation effect

idea that some of the attention that physically attractive people get spills over to their friends

seven principles of identity management and be able to identify examples of each

identity and hierarchical structure identity and looking glass self identity and the interpretation of feedback identity, expectations, and behavior identity and self-evaluation identity and goal achievement identity and relationships

identity, expectations, and behavior

identity incorporates expectations and guides behavior -if one's identity is being a good student then they will have behaviors to make sure of it like studying

identity and goal achievement

identity influences the likelihood of goal achievement -your goal of dating someone depends on the extent to which you believe you possess characteristics that appeal to that person

positive politeness strategy

intended to address the receiver's positive face while still accomplishing the task -does not threaten identity of receiver "you are such a good writer, would you help me edit this?"

predictability-novelty

internal dialectic of certainty -going to a movie every Saturday, but suggest instead of going on a Saturday, going on Sunday

openness-closedness

internal dialectic of expression -refers to the communication that occurs in a dyad or group -being able to say a lot of what you want to each other, but also knowing what to refrain from saying

connection-auttonomy

internal manifestation of dialectic integration -most fundamental -when people communicate in ways that reflect both closeness and distance (or independence) "i'm glad you want to move in together, I love being with you, but at this point i think we need time on our own"

moderation

involves striving to reach a "midpoint" such that couples engage both sides of the dialectic but only to a certain extent -telling you bff you and your bf got into a fight, but not offering more info

discursive tensions

messages that have two seemingly contradictory meanings "well i'm kind of seeing him, but we're not serious"

cyclic alternation

move from one side of the dialectic to the other alternately "expressing that they feel distant so from each other so they could take a vacation together"

miscommunication

not all message exchanges are effective

successful communication

occurs when a senders message is interpreted correctly by a receiver -have an understanding

partner uncertainty

occurs when people are uncertain about their partner's feelings and intentions -does the partner reciprocate feelings

relationship uncertainty

occurs when people have questions about the state of their relationship -are we dating or just friends -the future of the relationship

fatal attraction

occurs when the very qualities that draw us to someone eventually break us up

behavioral interdependence,

one persons behavior somehow effects the other person's behavior and vice versa

identity and self-evaluation

our identities and the identities presented by others influence our evaluations of self -good students would be dissapointed with a C, while a student who usually does poorly would be happy

identity and the interpretation of feedback

our identities help us interpret feedback from others -you react differently if you view yourself as an extrovert than you would if you were an introvert -you think you are attractive so negative comments are viewed as jealous

identity and hierarchical structure

our identities provide us with a hierachical structure of who we are -relationships, roles, goals

identity and relationships

our identity influences what social relationships we choose to pursue, create, and maintain

predicted outcome value theory

people are not driven by a need to reduce uncertainty in all cases

excitation transfer

people mistake the cause of their emotional arousal -people are more attracted to each other when they share scary experiences (bungee jumping)

interaction appearance theory

people perceive others as more physically attractive if they have warm, positive interactions with them

theory of motivated information management

people prefer certainty in some situations and uncertainty in other situations

low outcome value

perceived as less rewarding -someone appearing cold or harsh

qualities people find attractive in others

physical attractiveness: top predictors of social interaction interpersonal communication skills: smiling, being warm, concern for others hard to get: to the point that they don't seem unattainable

going off-record strategy

primary attention to face and little attention to task -inefficient strategy for accomplishing tasks

relational level of meaning

provides a context for interpreting the message of a relationship -the type of relationship people share and the nonverbal behaviors people use influence the relational level of a message

dialectical perspective (pg. 130)

provides an alternative to the view of relationships as a series of linear stages -people moved toward and way from an optimal level of closeness *tension

affection-instrumentally (pg. 135)

refers to whether friends focus more on feelings of warmth or on instrumental tasks (wanting help with homework seems impersonal)

negative face

reflects our desire to be free from imposition and restraint and have control over our own territory, possessions, time, space, and resources -part of us that wants to do what we want to do or say, without concern about what others want us to do or say

loss-gain effect

reflects what happens to attraction when a person's behavior moves from positive to negative or from negative to positive -more attracted to people who are consistently negative than those who are positive at first and then turn out to be jerks

affection

satisfied through our ability to love other people and through having other people love us

3 goals in every relationship

self-presentational goals, relational goals, instrumental goals.

qualities of the pair (pg. 74)

similarity: birds of a feather flock together complementarity: opposites attract

dialectics theory

supports the idea that people sometimes find uncertainty exciting rather than confusing or anxiety provoking -people want to be close and connected, but also want independence

instrumental goals

task oriented -money making, getting good grades, buying a car, ride to school -asking for advice or assistance, getting permission, support

prescriptive expectancies

tell people what to expect based on general rules of appropriateness -cultural norms

predictive expectancies

tell people what to expect in a given situation based on what normally occurs in that particular context or relationship -someone is always on time so you are shocked when they show up late

matching hypothesis

tendency to be attracted to people who are similar to us in attractiveness

halo effect

tendency to perceive physically attractive people as more sociable

independent-dependent

tension between wanting the freedom to pursue individual activities and depending on someone for help and support -wanting to ask for help on hw, but also wanting to be able to prove you can do it by yourself

self-fulfilling prophecy

that causes persons to behave in a way (often unconsciously) that actually makes it more likely that their behavior will be consistent with their identity

interpersonal communication

the exchange of messages, verbal and nonverbal, between two people regardless of the relationship they share -exchange of comm in all types of relationships

positive face

the favorable image that people portray to others and hope to have validated by others "best face"

identity and looking glass self

the feedback we receive from others helps shape our identities -a teacher telling you that you were smart enough for college so you go

self-presentation goals

the image we convey -we are what people think we are

need fulfillment

the need to belong, feel loved and appreciated, or to care or nurture someone

irreplaceability

the other person has a special place in our thoughts and emotions

identity

the person we think we are and communicate to others sense of self

ideal-real

the tension between what the friendship "ought to be" and what it "really is" -even "real" friends have a mix of positive and negative characteristics

negative politeness strategy

tries to address the receiver's negative face while still accomplishing the task "i suppose you can't lend me your car for a few?" -emphasize the freedom of the receiver to decline

mutual influence

two individuals influence each other in meaningful ways -in interpersonal relationships, this influence goes beyond basic tasks

uncertainty management theory

uncertainty is not inherently good or inherently bad, but something that is managed -uncertainty can reduce negative emotions *not knowing is better, doesn't matter if you know info or not, produce positive emotions (surprise party) -when info is perceived as harmful info only produces positive emotion

uncertainty reduction theory

understanding of what happens during initial interactions when two people meet -obtain info to reduce uncertainty

interpersonal relationship

unique, irreplaceable, and requires understanding of the partners psychological makeup -mutual influence goes beyond task like paying for coffee -create connection at a social or emotional level instead of a task one -repeated interaction -unique interaction patterns: comm. differently depending on who it is -private info involve two people who share repeated interaction over time and have some level of mutual influence. (friends)

positive psychic change

when attitudes become more positive -seeing someone as more attractive, but not knowing why

neutralization

when couples avoid fully engaging either side of the dialectical tension (moderation/disqualification)

accidental communication

when someone does not mean to send a message, but the receiver observes the behavior and interprets it correctly -ineffective because you did not mean to send that message

attempted communication

when someone sends an intentional message that the receiver fails to receive *hinting

misinterpretation

when someone unintentionally sends a message that is misconstrued by the receiver -scowling bc of your bad day at work, but your roommate thinks you're mad at them

high outcome value

when they are perceived to be more rewarding than other potential partners -perceiving someone to have more self-confidence than others

outcome expectancy

whether the outcome of the information search is expected to be positive or negative

unique interaction patterns

you communicate different with people you are in interpersonal relationships with