Concisenses

The use of

(can be omitted)

Very unique.

(words like "very" and "really"should be omitted in favor ofdescriptive adjectives andadverbs)

Round in shape.

Round.

However, it must be remembered that Ruth's marriage could have positive effects on Naomi's situation.

Ruth's marriage, however, will also provide security for Naomi.

She is of the opinion that

She thinks that

She was in an elated state of mind.

She was elated.

This is/These are

Similarly to expletive constructions, many writers fall into the trap of beginning their sentences with "this is..." or "these are..." These constructions, while helpful because they contextually tie the current sentence directly to the previous sentence, lead to vague referents. Never assume your reader can follow you without significant guidance, and always make sure each of your sentences can stand by itself and make sense. EXAMPLE: Marvel keeps saying they won't make a Black Widow movie. This is why I am considering becoming a DC fan instead. REVISION: Marvel keeps saying they won't make a Black Widow movie. This inconsideration makes me want to become a DC fan instead. NOTE: An easy way to fix these constructions so they aren't vague anymore is to ask yourself "This WHAT?" and fill in with your response noun.

Construct Active Sentences

Some sentence structures tend to be wordier than others. Although the passive voice isn't incorrect and is completely fine to use in moderation, it's often a weaker type of sentence construction. If you find yourself trending towards using the passive voice because you think it sounds a bit fancier or softens something unpleasant, remember that active voice sets a stronger and more direct tone. Keep most of your sentences in active voice—you'll find that they also tend to be more concise. Wordy: If this was something caused on our end, it might be something to be aware of. Concise: We should be aware of this in case something on our end caused it. Wordy: The error message was written by robots. Concise: Robots wrote the error message.

A number of

Some, many

Any student could randomly sit anywhere.

Students could sit anywhere. (If they could sit "anywhere," seating was clearly "random.")

Suzie believed but could not confirm that Billy had feelings of affection forher.

Suzie assumed that Billy adored her.

Tall in stature.

Tall.

The Book of Ruth was probably written in the fifth century B.C. It was a time when women were considered the property of men.

The Book of Ruth was probably written in the fifth century B.C., when women were considered the property of men. Simplify, simplify, simplify

Replace a to be verb + an -ing word with a simple verb

The concept of immortality is intriguing to me. The concept of immortality intrigues me.

Combine short, choppy sentences to eliminate to be verbs

The food at the restaurant is excellent. The hamburgers are juicy. The onion rings are crispy. The pie is the best I have ever eaten. The restaurant serves excellent food, including juicy hamburgers, crispy onion rings, and the best pie I have ever eaten.

The houses are in close proximity.

The houses are nearby.

The politician talked about several of the merits of after-school programs in his speech

The politician touted after-school programs in his speech.

"To be verb": Sometimes, this requires changing the word order in a sentence

The restaurant's food is excellent. The restaurant serves excellent food.

Avoid overusing there is, there are, there were, this is

The restaurant's parking lot is narrow. There are not very many parking spaces and those that are available are too cramped. The restaurant suffers from a narrow parking lot with only a few cramped spaces. In the strong example above, we not only combined sentences to eliminate to be verbs, but we also eliminated there are and that are. Such expressions delay or minimize the subject and add needless words. In the revisions below, we rearranged the sentences to emphasize the subjects, chose stronger verbs, and cut needless words.

Avoid unnecessary use of "to be" verbs

The scene is taking place at night, in front of the capitol building. edit:The scene takes place at night, in front of the capitol building. The friar is knowledgeable about Juliet being alive. edit:The friar knows that Juliet is alive. There are two pine trees which are growing behind this house. edit:Two pine trees grow behind this house.

Replace a to be verb + an -ing word with a simple verb

The stock market was fluctuating wildly before the crash. The stock market fluctuated wildly before the crash.

The supposed crash of a UFO in Roswell, New Mexico aroused interest in extraterrestrial life. This crash is rumored to have occurred in 1947.

The supposed 1947crash of a UFO in Roswell, New Mexico aroused interest in extraterrestrial life.

The teacher demonstrated some of the various ways and methods for cutting words from my essay that I had written for class.

The teacher demonstrated methods for cutting words from my essay.

At that point in time

Then

They are connected together.

They are connected.

They have many traits in common to both.

They share many traits.

There were some important findings resulting from this experiment.

This experiment resulted in some important findings.

This is a quote from Black Elk's autobiography that discloses his prophetic powers.

This quote from Black Elk's autobiography discloses his prophetic powers.

True fact.

True.

The reason for the failure of the basketball team of the University of North Carolina in the Final Four game against the team from Kansas was that on that day and at that time, some players were frequently unable to rebound the ball.

UNC's basketball team lost the Final Four game against Kansas because it could not consistently rebound the ball.

Strengthen Weak Adjectives

Using strong, descriptive adjectives helps trim down sentence length. Look for places where you've used two words to describe something when one would do. Strengthening your vocabulary can help you ensure that you're using the best word for the situation and that all of your words deserve to be in your sentence. Plus, strong adjectives make your writing more vibrant! Wordy: Brunch was very good. Concise: Brunch was superb. Wordy: She struggled to sit through his really boring speech. Concise: She struggled to sit through his tedious speech.

It is my intention to transfer to a four- year university.

I intend to transfer to a four-year university.

Frequently, a chapter in a book reveals to the reader the main point that the author desires to bring out during the course of the chapter.

A chapter's title often reveals its thesis.

Many have made the wise observation that when a stone is in motion rolling down a hill or incline that that moving stone is not as likely to be covered all over with the kind of thick green moss that grows on stationary unmoving things and becomes a nuisance and suggests that those things haven't moved in a long time and probably won't move any time soon.

A rolling stone gathers no moss.

Basic fundamentals.

Basics.

How to change a sentence in passive voice to active voice

A sentence is in the passive voice, on the other hand, when the subject is acted on by the verb. The passive voice is always constructed with a conjugated form of to beplus the verb's past participle. Doing this usually generates a preposition as well. That sounds much more complicated than it is—passive voice is actually quite easy to detect. For these examples of passive voice, we will transform the three active sentences above to illustrate the difference. Passive voice examples Bananas are adored by monkeys. The money was counted by the cashier. The squirrel was chased by the dog. Let's take a closer look at the first pair of sentences, "Monkeys adore bananas" and "Bananas are adored by monkeys." The active sentence consists of monkeys (subject) + adore (verb) + bananas (object). The passive sentence consists of bananas (object) + are adored (a form of to be plus the past participle adored) + by (preposition) + monkeys (subject). Making the sentence passive flipped the structure and necessitated the preposition by. In fact, all three of the transformed sentences above required the addition of by.

Passive voice

A sentence is in the passive voice, on the other hand, when the subject is acted on by the verb. The passive voice is always constructed with a conjugated form of to beplus the verb's past participle. Doing this usually generates a preposition as well. That sounds much more complicated than it is—passive voice is actually quite easy to detect. For these examples of passive voice, we will transform the three active sentences above to illustrate the difference. Passive voice examples Bananas are adored by monkeys. The money was counted by the cashier. The squirrel was chased by the dog. Let's take a closer look at the first pair of sentences, "Monkeys adore bananas" and "Bananas are adored by monkeys." The active sentence consists of monkeys (subject) + adore (verb) + bananas (object). The passive sentence consists of bananas (object) + are adored (a form of to be plus the past participle adored) + by (preposition) + monkeys (subject). Making the sentence passive flipped the structure and necessitated the preposition by. In fact, all three of the transformed sentences above required the addition of by.

Concerning the matter of

About

Regardless of the fact that

Although

The economic situation of Anne Moody was also a crucial factor in the formation of her character.

Anne Moody's poverty also helped form her character.

Repetition

Another way to confuse your reader or lose focus on your points is to double up on descriptions or other phrases that convey the idea multiple times. Redundancy or repetition can work well if used purposely, but haphazardly it can make your writing ineffective and boring. Here are two of the most common repetitive phrases and how you can revise them to improve your writing: Both To revise 'both' it can usually just be omitted from your sentence. EXAMPLE: My favorite superheroes are both Batman and Iron Man. REVISION: My favorite superheroes are Batman and Iron Man.

If you do not have more than five years of experience, do not call for an interview if you have not already spoken to human resources.

Applicants with more than five years of experience can bypass human resources and call for an interview.

For the simple reason that

Because

Because a great many of the words in this sentence are basically unnecessary, it would really be a very good idea to edit somewhat for conciseness.

Because many of the words in this sentence are unnecessary, we should edit it.

IN both Orwell's and Baldwin's essays, the feeling of white supremacy is very important. (This raises the questions: How is it important? Why?)

Both Orwell and Baldwin trace the consequences of white supremacy.(This revision states its point conclusively.)

Eliminate Redundant Words

Cutting redundant words like tautologies can help create stronger, more direct sentences. Tautologies are expressions or phrases that repeat the same information. They take up unnecessary space and can distract your reader. Getting rid of them simplifies sentences and gets your point across faster. Wordy: In my opinion, I think that's a problem. Concise: In my opinion, that's a problem. Wordy: The course had several necessary requirements. Concise: The course had several requirements.

Remove Vague Nouns

Do all of your nouns actually move your point forward? If not, it may be time to say goodbye. Eliminating these unnecessary words will help make your writing more direct and clear. Wordy: Career growth was an important factor in why I decided to join. Concise: I joined to advance my career. Wordy: I'm interested in the areas of history and biology. Concise: I'm interested in history and biology.

Do not try to anticipate in advance those events that will completely revolutionize society.

Do not try to anticipate revolutionary events. In this example, "anticipate" already implies that something is in advance, and "revolutionize" already implies that something will be completely changed.

During the course of

During

In the process of

During, while

The reason why is because

EXAMPLE: Man of Steel and Batman vs. Supermandisappointed at the box office, and the reason why is because people are tired of origin stories. REVISION: Man of Steel and Batman vs. Supermandisappointed at the box office because people are tired of origin stories.

Due to the fact that

EXAMPLE: Many people prefer Marvel Comics, due to the fact that they explore more characters in their canon. REVISED: Many people prefer Marvel Comics to DC Comics because they explore more characters in their canon.

In order to/for/that

EXAMPLE: Marvel fans watch Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.in order to expand their knowledge of the Marvel canon. REVISED: Marvel fans watch Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.to expand their knowledge of the Marvel canon.

Replace a to be verb + a prepositional phrase with a strong verb

Electric car technology was in existence as early as 1830. Electric car technology existed as early as 1830.

Eric Clapton and Steve Winwood formed a new band of musicians together in 1969, giving it the ironic name of Blind Faith because early speculation that was spreading everywhere about the band suggested that the new musical group would be good enough to rival the earlier bands that both men had been in, Cream and Traffic, which people had really liked and had been very popular.

Eric Clapton and Steve Winwood formed a new band in 1969, ironically naming it Blind Faith because speculation suggested that the group would rival the musicians' previous popular bands, Cream and Traffic.

Each and every person should come.

Everyone should come.

I came to the realization that

I realized that

With the exception of

Except

Eliminate Filler Words

Filler words are words that add no meaning or value to a sentence and simply "fill" the space. They can be easily removed or replaced, but often inadvertently creep up in writing since we're so used to using them in our speech. Wordy: For all intents and purposes, this project will be outsourced. Concise: This project will be outsourced. Wordy: Needless to say, I think we should get grilled cheese. Concise: We should get grilled cheese.

For each and every book you purchase, you will receive a free bookmark.

For every book you purchase, you will receive a free bookmark.

It is frequently considered that Hamlet is Shakespeare's most puzzling play.

Hamlet is frequently considered Shakespeare's most puzzling play.

He has no emotional feelings.

He has no feelings.

He struggled with the paper that was assigned by the professor.

He struggled with the paper assigned by the professor. Sometimes, you can cut unnecessary words with no other changes:

Housing for married students is not unworthy of consideration.

Housing for married students is worthy of consideration. Change negative constructions into positive constructions:

Replace a to be verb + a prepositional phrase with a strong verb

I am in receipt of your letter. I have received your letter/ I received your letter.

In the event that

If

In high school, where I had the opportunity for three years of working with the student government, I realized how significantly a person's enthusiasm can be destroyed merely by the attitudes of his superiors.

In high school, during three years on the student council, I saw students' enthusiasm destroyed by insecure teachers and cynical administrators.

"To be verb": Change one or more of the nouns in the sentence into a verb

Jennifer Lawrence is the star of The Hunger Games. Jennifer Lawrence stars in The Hunger Games. Our mother was the driver of the bus Our mother drove the bus.

Ludwig's castles are an astounding marriage of beauty and madness. By his death, he had commissioned three castles.

Ludwig's three castles are an astounding marriage of beauty and madness.

Replace a phrase with a word

Many commonly-used phrases can be replaced with single words. These phrases often crop up in writing that requires a formal tone, but they detract from, rather than add to, meaning. "The reason for", "due to the fact that", "in light of the fact that", "given the fact that", and "considering the fact that" can be replaced with because, since, or why. "In the event that" and "under circumstances in which" can be replaced with if."It is necessary that" and "cannot be avoided" can be replaced with must or should. "For the purpose of" can often be replaced with an infinitive verb (the "to ____" form of the verb). Example: In the event that going out for the purpose of eating with them cannot be avoided, it is necessary that we first go to the ATM, in light of the fact that I am out of cash. Revision: If we must go out to eat with them, we should first go to the ATM because I am out of cash.

"To Be" verb: Replace the to be verb with a stronger, more specific verb

My sister is loud when she is telling her children to do their homework. My sister bellows when telling her children to do their homework.

Replace a to be verb + a prepositional phrase with a strong verb

Negative advertising is influential on voters' perceptions of candidates. Negative advertising influences voters' perceptions of candidates.

It is often the case that

Often

Our Web site has made available many of the things you can use for making a decision on the best dentist.

Our website presents criteria for determining the best dentist.

Active voice

When the subject of a sentence performs the verb's action, we say that the sentence is in the active voice. Sentences in the active voice have a strong, direct, and clear tone. Here are some short and straightforward examples of active voice. Active voice examples Monkeys adore bananas. The cashier counted the money. The dog chased the squirrel. All three sentences have a basic active voice construction: subject, verb, and object. The subject monkey performs the action described by adore. The subject the cashierperforms the action described by counted. The subject the dog performs the action described by chased. The subjects are doing, doing, doing—they take action in their sentences. The active voice reminds us of the popular Nike slogan, "Just Do It."

Expletive Constructions

When you use "there is/are" or "it is" at the beginning of your sentence, it is weak and wordy, and often unnecessary. These phrases delay the meaning of your sentence, and just end up filling space rather than contributing meaningfully to your reader understanding you. In other words, these phrases direct your reader to the later parts of your sentence when you could just reword it to begin with those parts in the first place.\ There is/are EXAMPLE: There are many examples why Marvel is the stronger comic. REVISED: Many examples support why Marvel is the stronger comic. It is EXAMPLE: It is clear that DC has superior superheroes in its canon. REVISED: DC has superior superheroes in its canon.

Working as a pupil under someone who develops photos was an experience that really helped me learn a lot.

Working as a photo technician's apprentice was an educational experience.

I think/I believe

Writing sentences that begin with "I think" or "I believe" also lacks concision. Typically, these can be omitted from your writing, because the fact that you've written the sentence indicates that you think or believe the idea, making "I think" or "I believe" repetitive and unnecessary. EXAMPLE: I believe that Channing Tatum may not make the best Gambit in the upcoming movie. REVISION: Channing Tatum may not make the best Gambit in the upcoming movie.