Emily-Tyler Sides Horror Episodic Show

TYLER: No, but there aren't any pictures of you with other dudes.

EMILY: ( shows phone) There are some right here!

TYLER; You do. I know you do. It's because I sat behind you in French class.

EMILY: (Secretly pleased he remembers) French class.

TYLER: But then we kissed last week's at Sarah's..and now you want to marry me and have my babies.

EMILY: (dead pan) That's right Tyler. I want to marry you and have your babies.

TYLER: Checked out your facebook profile. I know-- it's a stalker thing to do. But how else would I know if you had a boyfriend or not?

EMILY: (incensed) My profile doesn't list my relationship status.

TYLER: We could just skip to the good part. (she ignores him) You know why it would be amazing if we had sex? (beat) Cause we both like Cyndi Lauper.

EMILY: (suprised) How do you know I like Cyndi Lauper?

TYLER: You've been on my Facebook page?! Who's stalking who now?

EMILY: I just looked at your pictures-- calm down.

TYLER: Madam Roger. I sat behind you. I made fun of you every day.

EMILY: I remember. You always smelled like pot.

TYLER: It was awesome.

EMILY: I'm sure it was.

TYLER: Says who?

EMILY: It's an old silent movie thing. There's always a girl chained to a train track and a villain with a twirly mustache who put her there.

TYLER: What? What are you talking about?

EMILY: Never mind.

TYLER: Those are all guys we know. And none of them are like, kissy- face, sexy -time.

EMILY: Oh, like the ones on your page.

TYLER: That's because I was always stoned.

EMILY: Probably why I didn't talk to you then, either.

TYLER: Huh? No... I was saving you.

EMILY: The villain always has the long twirly mustache.

TYLER: You were tied to a railroad track and I saved you. I had a long twirly mustache.

EMILY: Then you probably put me there.

TYLER: No-- not never mind. What do you mean?

EMILY: There's just... all these pictures of you with some girl. You're all nuzzling her. It's gross-- she looks totally into you.

TYLER: You love me so much.

EMILY: Tyler..

TYLER: Should we try a re-enactment?

EMILY: We're miles away from a train track.

TYLER: I had a dream about you last night.

EMILY: Yeah?

TYLER: Well.. I saved you. ( beat) Then we had sex.

EMILY:( shaking her head) Of course we did.