HDFS Final

types of dating

assortative: fun and experience -exclusive: a precursor to commitment, engagement, and marriage

Disengaged pattern

both want out. Most likely to be over sooner, and more quickly resolved.

economic

legally, the wife and husband own property as a legal unit. assets must be divided between the two.

stepsibling relationships

sibling rivalry- competition of brothers and sisters for the attention, approval, and affection of parents -sibling rivalry in the blended family is more complex than in the biological family because both parents and stepparents have difficulty in behaving rationally and impartially. -initial reactions of step siblings to one another are not always indicative of the degree of problems in the future. -some coulee who have children of their own report that having a baby improves stepsibling relationships. -on average, relationships among step siblings are less contentious than among biologically related siblings, particularly in adolescence.

emotional station (to describe divorce)

spouses withdraw emotions from their relationship due to too much intensity. often one spouse will emotionally divorce before asking for a divorce

legal

statutes define the categories into which every marital dispute must fall. defines alimony, child support, property, etc.

possible benefits that can emerge from divorce

-Ending a relationship that injures and constrains -psychological growth -learning that one can cope and manage -developing a sense of oneself and purpose

1940s

-women entered the workforce; the government launched a major propaganda campaign to convince the public it was acceptable for women to work outside their homes. -marriage and fertility rates climbed after the war (i.e., 'baby boom').

warning signs of a problematic marriage

- the couple meets or marries shortly after a significant loss -the wish to distance from one's family of origin is a factor in the marriage -the family background of each spouse is significantly different (religion, education, social class, ethnicity, age of the partners). -the spouses come from incompatible sibling constellations. (one partner, has a large number of siblings, and the other has few or no siblings). -the couple resides either extremely close to or at a great distance from either family of origin. -the couple is dependent on either extended family (financially, physically, or emotionally). -the couple marries before age 20 -the couples marries after knowing each other less than six months -the couple marries after being engaged more than three years - the wedding occurs without family or friends present -the wife becomes pregnant before marriage or wishing the first year of marriage. -either spouse has a poor relationship with sibling or parents -either spouse considers his or her childhood or adolescence an unhappy time . -marital patterns in either extended family were unstable.

Post-poning parenthood

-Although it is still typical for a woman to have her first child before the age of 30, the numbers of first-time older mothers is increasing --in the early 1970's only 4% of American women having their first babies were 30 or older, by 1995 the number had increased to 26% --delayed first birth tends to mean that a female will have fewer children. **reasons for postponing --delaying the age of marriage --finances -focusing on career or edu. -reproductive tech allow more freedom (bio clocks not ticking as fast)

1960s

-Dating became more relaxed -increasingly acceptable for a woman to ask a man out -sexuality became more acceptable in dating -birth-control pill was introduced

The process of deterioration

-Disillusionment: marriage gradually becomes less personally fulfilling. -testing the waters phase -seeking outside counsel from friends rehabilitative rxn: "it's not so bad" supportive: "you will be fine" Opportunity: "come over, let's talk and have a drink" withdrawal: friends fear 'catching' your divorce -seeking legal counsel

Artificial insemination

-Donor insemination--a medical procedure in which semen is introduced into the vagina or uterus about the time of ovulation. The semen could be fresh or frozen. -artificial insemination was first performed successfully in the 1790's -*this is the most common treatment for male infertility -offers women a means of having children without a husband -cold lead to inadvertent inbreeding since the donors are kept anonymous (unless it is the husband's sperm that is used).

Reasons for remaining childfree

-For many couples, the decision to delay having children gradually evolves into none at all -causes drastic change in lifestyle -economic costs of children -children tend to cause worry and tension -caring for children takes too much time--no children means no child-work and less housework. -difficult for women to focus on career -focus on marriage -decrease in personal fulfillment and freedom -doubts about parenting skills -endangers one's health and energy level -some worry about how their child will turn out.

Adoption

-Half of all women who have adopted have also given birth to a child. -usually copies adopt after they have had a child of their own. -fewer infants are available for adoption int he USA, leading to an increase in the adoption of foreign born children -about 40% of placements are through public agencies, about 30% through private agencies, and about 30% through independent sources. -in open adoption, the birth mother is permitted to meet and play an active role in the selection of the new parents. --in recent years, many adopted children seek out their birth mothers, causing stress on all parties involved. -most adopted children have similar adjustment as birth children

speed dating

-Individuals meet prospective dates for a specified time period. When time runs out, they have to move to the next prospect, no matter how much they like the current person or dread the next one. Afterwards, they turn in a list of who they would like to see again. If there is a match (meaning both people listed each other on their lists), then contact information is provided. Contact information cannot be given out during the initial meeting so as to reduce pressure to accept or reject a person to their face.

Thoughts about parenting

-Infants waste no time in teaching adults to meet their needs -most see parenthood as having less margin or error than other roles. -Parents are faced with increasing responsibility, but less authority. -Parents assume multiple roles after the birth of a child (e.g., providing child care, being a spouse, accomplishing work outside of the home). -** over 70% of mothers with children under 18, are in the labor force.

Interpersonal divorce process

-It is usually a process of gradual deterioration. most often, divorcing couples have ignored the maintenance of their relationship.

Characteristics of older parents

-Older mothers tend to feel more self-assured, more ready for responsibility, and better prepared for parent hood than younger women -they tend to work in prof occupations and have higher family incomes

major myths of marriage

-People marry because they love each other. -most married people love each other -love is necessary for a satisfactory marriage -inherent differences between families and males cause most marital troubles -having children automatically improves a difficult or an unfulfilled marriage -marriage cures loneliness -married couples will make each other happy -if partners fight, they have a poor marriage and the more love the less conflict

Individual factors

-Romantic notions about marriage and love, coupled with the freedom to make mate selections independently of others -unrealistic expectations regarding marriage -expectations that marriage may not be permanent -fading romantic interest -individualistic cultural goal of happiness -leftovers from prior relationships.

Permissive indulgent

-Style of parenting in which parents are so uninvolved that children are allowed to behave without set limits or require any kind of obedience -offspring share undesirable characteristics of those with authoritarian parents

Cultural differences in childrearing

-US parents are typically advised to use authoritative parenting methods and explicitly told to avoid other parenting styles -in asian cultures, it is common for parents to be strict, firm, and in tight control over their offspring's behavior. --parents are seen to have a duty to train their offspring to adhere to socially and culturally desirable standards of behavior, particularly those manifested in good school performance --a child's acceptance of such an approach to discipline is seen as a sign of parental respect --youth view strict parental control as a sign of warmth and interest in their lives, in contract to youth in the U.S. who may view the same behaviors as intrusive and oppressive -authoritative parenting is less frequent in African American, asian American, and latino families than in white American fams. -authoritarian styles are more common among ethnic minority groups in the U.S.

comments about stepfamily child discipline

-a fundamental difference is that discipline with stepchildren involves "your child" or "my child" (or grandchild), rater than "OUR child." this breeds stressful loyalty conflicts -normally, bio parents discipline their children without fear of being lastingly rejected by them. -stepparents are confronted with the necessity of dealing with children who have already been socialized by other parents -if child visitations are involved, kids and adults may experience three conflicting sets of disciplinary rules: prior family, and noncustodial fam or household. -clinicians suggest that stepparents should focus initially on nurturing their stepchildren and developing feelings of affection before attempting to discipline them. failure to spend enough time building trust and friendship before starting to discipline typically leads to resistance and negative reactions from stepchildren.

what is marriage?

-a sacrament -a public affirmation -a demographic event -the joining of two families and social networks -a legal contract between the couple and state -an economic union -the most common form of adult cohabitation -the context of most human sexual activity -a reproductive unit -an opportunity to develop an intimate, sharing relationship.

Factors contributing to divorce

-age at marriage - the lower the age, the higher the probability of divorce. The age at first marriage is the single most influential factor. Marriage after age 22 seems to have no statistical relationship to divorce. -length (duration) of marriage -level of education - the greater discrepancy in education, the greater the probability of divorce. -social class- more common in lower/working class -fam of origin stability-there is a higher risk of divorce if parents are divorced.

1930's

-all social classes began to accept dating for the young adults -alfred Kinsey taught the first college course on human sexuality at Indiana University

Assisted Reproductive technology

-all treatments or procedures that involve the handling of human eggs or sperm to establish a pregnancy.

prenuptial agreement

-also called premarital agreement, marriage contract, or antenuptual contract -written agreement and legal statement made before the marriage stating the couple's intentions regarding assets, debts, settlement of property, alimony, custody, and or other matters. to be upheld in court: -the agreement must be fair and reasonable -bother parties must have full and accurate disclosure of all assets and liabilities at the time of the agreement. -both parties must sign the prenuptial agreement in good faith -prenups are drawn up in about 5% of first marriages and 20% of remarriages

Embryo transplants

-artificially inseminating a volunteer female donor with the sperm, removing the zygote after 5 days, and transplanting it to the mother-to-be, who carries the child to term -this procedure produces a child in about 10-30% of the cases -possible ethical issues --if the birth mother decides she does not want the child, is the biological mother then responsible? -genetically related children might end up marrying each other one day -what happens to leftover embryos?

Factors that promote a successful marriage

-both spouses: -are independent and mature -love each other and themselves -enjoy being alone as well as together -are established in their work or occupation -know themselves -can express themselves assertively -are friends as well as lovers -have a positive attitude toward each other and like the other 'as a person and a good friend -see marriage as a long-term commitment and a sacred institution In which the vow of 'till death us do part' is taken seriously and conflict is managed -believe providing emotional support is more important than romantic love *husbands and wives form 351 long term marriages ranked the top 12 items which contributed to their being happy from a list of 31 items.

internet dating

-bout 33% had used online dating services -the internet is the 3rd most popular method for getting a date -about one-third of respondents admitted to lying to some degree on their profiles --men were more likely to tell the 100% truth and to use a photo taken in the last 12 months -women more likely to bend the truth. -women had less specific relationship goals. men's goals were more defined and concrete. --men were four times more likely to look for a no strings fling than women.

community

-breaking away from the "couple's world" into the "world of the formerly married"

issues resulting from divorce

-change in economic standing -losing a sense of belonging -loneliness -a sense of failure

conflict in stepfamilies

-competition for time and attention between family members -sibling conflict -step-parenting--step parent/child relationships can make or break a remarriage -couples with both step and biological children do not experience more conflict than those with only biological children -the longer the amount of time spent in a singe-parent household, the more difficult the relationship between stepfather and stepchildren -the impact of stepchildren depends on the length of marriage ---in long term stable stepfamilies, relationship patterns become more like those in non-divorced families.

Identity reorientation

-development of the 'single' self -the longer the marriage, the longer reorientation takes -people suggest that events change them -a new identity may really mean completing the old one that was never finished earlier in life

divorced compared to married individuals

-divorced men are more likely to die than married men, poss due to increased access to emotional support, social control, and integration which leads to increased risk avoidance, healthier lifestyles, and reduced vulnerabilities -married people were more likely to report being very happy with their life than the separated and divorced.

Social environmental factors

-dual-worker marriages that may leave little time for the relationship. -increased economic dependency of women that makes them less dependent on the marriage for financial support. -fewer moral and religious sanctions against divorce. -heterogamy of social characteristics--low social support for mixed marriages -changing family structure and functions -greater social acceptance of divorce -more liberal divorce laws (no-fault divorce). -more divorce models

factors attributing to an increase in single hood and delay in marriage

-education and career aspirations are delaying marriage -lengthening of economic dependency on parents (often due to increasing education). -less societal disapproval against staying single and increased acceptance that being single can be a legitimate, healthy, and happy alternative to marriage -fear of marriage- some people who fear marriage have been Brought up in unhappy homes, have been disappointed in love, were married before and failed, and are afraid of dependency and the loss of self, are insecure about the consequences of caring, and or well that marriage is a deception and a trap. -increased acceptance and opps for premarital sexual intercourse and non marital cohabitation -the women's movement has encouraged women to seek their own identity apart from a marital identity. -some singles have been married before, but are now in transition (although 67% remarry, the rate of remarriage has dropped by more than 25%). -Lack of opportunity- some would prefer to marry, but they have never had the chance due to individual, familial, or societal circumstances.

1950s

-family togetherness became the theme -the first playboy magazine appeared in 1953 -Supreme Court ruled that certain sexually explicit materials could be distributed in the USA

relationship factors

-fraudulent marriage agreements -discordant relationships -disqualifying relationships-one partner is blamed -a marriage is based on deviant terms. For example, "I will stay married if I can keep drinking..." -violent marriages

bride price

-groom and or his family gives the bride's family money or material possessions -when missionaries from Europe first encountered bride price, they thought it was a bride purchase -women are considered an economic asset (skills and labor0. -the bride price validates the groom's right to future offspring.

Fertility enhancing drugs

-has led to numerous births at once -Some couples undergo a process known as "selective reproduction" (aborting some of the fetuses to give the others a better chance to fully develop) -it is estimated that two-thirds of the triplets, quadruplets, and quintuplets born during 1995 were the result of fertility-enhancing drugs, or a combo of the drugs and other assisted reproductive techniques.

1700s & 1800s

-if a young man desired the company of a woman, he had to meet her fam, to be introduced, and obtain permission to court her. -couples were often chaperoned. -casual meetings at unsupervised social affairs were condemned -if a young man wanted to marry a women, he had to ask her father's permission bundling: bc a young man often had to walk long distances in the winter to court a woman, a couple was allowed to climb into a bundling bed to talk late into the night. However, strict sex codes forbade any sexual contact.

bride service

-in some societies, the groom might agree to work for the bride's family for a set period of time in exchange for the right to marry the bride.

intracytoplasmic sperm injection

-injecting perm directly into an egg in a lab dish. -generally used when a man has low sperm count or cannot ejaculate -by fertilizing eggs with sperm that cannot make their way naturally, genetically defective sperm cells may be passed on to offspring.

Gamete intrafallopian transfer (GIFT)

-inserting the sperm and egg directly into the Fallopian tube, where the conception takes place.

co-parental

-involved making decisions regarding custody, child-rearing, time spent with children

In vitro-fertilization

-involved surgically removing eggs and fertilizing them in a dish (or inside the woman's body) with sperm, and then re-implanting the eggs in the uterine wall. -first successful vitro was in 1978

Parental support

-involves creating emotionally positive environment for offspring, usually with warmth and nurturance -associated with higher levels of interpersonal competence and confidence in youth

Voluntary childlessness

-is increasing -women who expect to remain childless are more likely to be white, in their 30's, college educated, and career oriented. -a national study found that when couples disagreed about having a child, the partner that wanted a child postposed further discussion, sometimes indefinitely.

parental arrangement

-it is believed that love follows marriage -marriage is considered an institution that fulfills important social, economic, and political needs -the goal is often economic or political advantage -marriage brokers are often used to arrange marriages

increased likelihood of cohabitation if you...

-live in a large city -live in the USA Northeast and West Coast -are politically liberal -are less actively religious -have lower education -are a woman -are from lower socioeconomic status -grew up in divorced home -grew up in a family that depended on welfare.

1970s

-many colleges and universities abandoned curfews and lockout regulations

hurdles to avoid in remarriages

-many remarried spouses develop expectations for their new spouses based on previous marriages. Role confusion often results -a new spouse may expect a spouse to play a role either similar to or even completely different from the role played by a former spouse. -these expectations are generally unfair to the new spouse and can result in making the same mistakes they made in their previous marriage -people may enter remarriages fearful that the problems and hurts that they experiences In previous marriages will happen again, and so they are supersensitive to anything their new spouse does that reminds them of the difficulties they had before

Dowry

-money or property given to the groom (and/or his fam) by the bride's fam --the higher the status, the higher the expected dowry -sometimes viewed as a contribution by the bride's fam to the new couple's livelihood -sometimes viewed as an early payment on the daughter's inheritance. hence, when the parents die, only daughters who had not received a dowry would be entitled to an inheritance. -in some cultures, failure to provide an adequate or agreed-upon dowry could result in the termination of a marriage (or even death of the bride) -

Divorce is a process, not an event

-most people find out by experience: can take months or even years -divorce dissolved the legal marital relationship, but not the emotional, economic, parental, community, or psychic relationships that have evolved.

Societal expectations for childrearing

-new mothers often face enormous pressure due to societal expectations --it is assumed that a good mother will be perfect if she follows her instincts --it is implied that there is something wrong with a mother who does not devote 100% of her life to child rearing.

issues regarding remarriage and blended families

-newly remarried couples may enter into their new family relationships with guilt and regret over their failed marriage and divorce -newly remarried couples may not have enough time alone to adjust to their new relationship -many couples expect stepfamily relationships to be similar to those of primary families -stepfamilies need to recognize that building a sense of fam takes time and that family boundaries must be flexible -generally is a period of disequilibrium (confusion) that generally takes 2-3 years, although it could take as long as 5-7 years -stepparents must deal with a network of complex kinship relationships -stepparents must cope with step sibling feelings and relationships -relating to the ex spouse -stepparents often have unrealistic expectations of themselves and what to expect -fantasies exist about re-creating the primary family -members have experienced important losses

Patterns of divorce

-not all divorces follow the same pattern of events

2000s

-numerous dating and matchmaking television shows emerged. -compared to the 1990s, high school youth date less frequently, and they are less likely to date at all.

2010s

-numerous dating app for the smartphone emerged -compared to previous decades, online dating has lost much of its previous stigma as online dating has become more commonplace.

nonmetal pattern

-one wants out, the other does not. These can be the most bitter, hard fought divorces.

permissive uninvolved

-parenting style in which parents are uninvolved with child's behavior, ignoring them and allowing to do whatever they want until it interferes with what the parents want -offspring tend to feel unloved and emotionally detached, impeding their physical , cognitive, and emotional development -in extreme cases, this parenting style results in NEGLECT, a form of child abuse.

Authoritarian

-parents are rigid and overly strict, showing little warmth to the child -offspring tend to be withdrawn, showing relatively little sociability and behaving uneasy around peers.

Dating and matchmaking services

-personals sections in newspapers/magazines -computerized dating/relationship agency-similar to an employment agency, except the applicant is looking for a mate (use photos and videotapes).

Dating fulfills a number of important functions

-rec and fun -contributes to personality development -provides an opp to try out gender roles -a means of fulfilling the need for love and affection -socialization, companionship, and personal intimacy. -provides an opp for sexual experimentation and satisfaction - a preparation for marriage -at first glance, dating appears to be a private interaction between two people. However, it is really the playing out by individuals of roles that have been developed for them by others and accepted for the self. -dating provides a framework within each of us finds love, and eventually, the right partner. first-time daters have been learning their basic masculinity and femininity for an average of fourteen years.

psychological control

-refers to excessive parental control that impedes the psychological and emotional development of youth -includes efforts to change feelings or thoughts to those that the parent feels are more acceptable, threats of love withdrawal and parental behavior designed to induce guilt -high levels of psychological control are associated with higher levels of depression in youth.

success in remarriage, blended families, and stepfamilies

-research has shown that remarriages are just as happy as first marriages with little difference in partners' well-being -spouses in long-established stepfamilies perceive their second marriage as --more egalitarian in regards to housework and child care --more open and pragmatic --less romantic --more willing to confront conflict

Enhancing successful remarriages and blended families

-resolve unfinished business from previous marriage and divorce -avoid guerrilla warfare with ex -allow time for the present relationship to develop and to get to know each other well. -the partners learned from their previous marriages and divorces -the partners put their marriage first -the partners avoid comparisons between present partner and ex-spouse.

Postpartum Depression

-sadness that appear after the birth of the baby. -Some of the depression may be caused by: sudden drops in estrogen, progesterone, and beta-endorphins (i.e. body's natural pain killer). -Because the responsibility for the baby tends to fall more heavily on new mothers, they may feel frustrated initially. -about half of mothers experience one or more physical problems (sinus issues, acne, hemorrhoids, vaginal discomfort, pain during intercourse, and difficulty reaching orgasm). **fathers who talk about their fears an concerns about parenting with their partners, find that their relationship deepens.

Authoritative parenting

-style of parenting in which parents combine warmth and affection with firm limited on a child's behavior. -offspring are generally independent, friendly with their peers, self-assertive, and cooperative -offspring regulate their own behaviors effectively exercising control over their relationships with others and their own emotions

Behavioral control

-the degree to which parents monitor their offspring's activity and provide consistent, clear guidelines for acceptable behavior. -higher levels of behavioral control are associated with lower levels of antisocial behavior on the part of the child.

1980s and 1990s

-the first AIDS cases were diagnosed in 1980 -changes in tech occurred (advertising in electronic media, video-dating services, chat rooms). -in 1989, the Supreme Court of the state of NY ruled that the traditional legal definition of 'family' should be expanded to include committed homosexual couples. -changes in reproductive tech provided alternatives for childbearing for infertile couples, lesbians who want children, and single women who want children. -viagra was introduced in 1998 for the treatment of ED.

Infertility

-the inability to conceive a baby after 12 months of unprotected sex. -affects about 15% of all couples of reproductive age -the incidence of infertility increases as childbearing is delayed -each sex accounts for about 40% of infertility cases, and both together for about 20%. However, most of the research has focused on women.

psychic

-the issue of regaining individual autonomy. usually the last process and most difficult rapid remarriage is often a response to avoiding the issues.

Divorce in remarriages and/or stepfamilies

-the probability of divorce is slightly higher in remarriages than in first marriages, however the divorce and re-divorce rates have started to decline. -remarried couples with children from prior marriages are more likely to divorce than are remarried couples without stepchildren.

1920s

-the term dating was firmly established -numerous factors allowed men and women to meet: --industrial revolution resulted in middle-class women moving into the workforce. -the rise of free public schools and coeducation -increased affluence and leisure time -invention of car -telephone increased communication -the surge of the women's equality movement increased women's choice. -roaring 20s involved women engaging in cheek-to-cheek dancing, smoking, drinking, and wearing short dresses. -dating was formal, with the girl being asked out well in advance.

cohabitation

-two unrelated adults living together in an intimate relationship without being legally married -POSSLQ (person of opposite sex sharing living quarters) is a census term that refers to person of the opposite sex sharing living quarters -dramatically increasing number of cohabiting couples before marriage -increasing acceptance of cohabiting -approx 75% plan to marry their partners -median duration of 15-18 months -50% of cohabiting couples may marry or break up after 2 years of cohabitation

single individuals compared to married

-unmarried men exhibit higher mortality from social pathologies -singles report higher levels of depression, more anxiety, less psychological well being, and higher propensity towards suicide than married people -more recent studies find that it may not be single hood, but the level of attachment, that predicted psychological distress.

Myths about child rearing

-you can tell in infancy how bright a child is likely to be later on. -the more stimulation, the better. -if a baby cries overtime the mother leaves, it is an early sign of emotional security. -special talents surface early or not at all. -an only child is likely to have problems relating to others -children who suffer early neglect and deprivation will not realize their normal potential -parental conflicts do not affect very young children -rearing children is always fun -good parents inevitably produce good kids -love is the essential key too effective child-rearing -children are always appreciative --parenting comes naturally

Reasons for infertility

Failure to ovulate: could be bc of poor nutrition, chronic illness, drug abuse, and psychological stress. Blockage of fallopian tubes: Could be caused by pelvic inflammatory disease (PID) which results from sexually transmitted bacteria and microorganisms. Endometriosis: the tissue that forms in the lining of the uterus spreads outside the womb and attaches itself to other pelvic organs (Ovaries, Fallopian tubes). Other causes: Include scarring, adhesions, and cysts around the ovaries and Fallopian tubes; cervical mucus that is too thick for sperm to penetrate; or too acidic; excessive or rapid weight loss; regular use of douches, and vaginal deodorants that contain chemicals that either kill sperm or inhibit their movement.

Enmeshed pattern

ambivalence on the part of both. Enmeshed couples are most likely to reconcile or remarry each other.

Yes-No Couples

One partner may not want children, even late into the pregnancy. For these couples, having a baby is one of many unresolved issues. Typically, the wife decides to go ahead wit the pregnancy regardless of what her husband thinks, and the pregnancy sometimes causes a separation or divorce.

Low sperm count-

Sperm count has plunged by 50% in the USA and 20 other countries since 1938 -inability of the male to ejaculate inside the vagina -inability of the male to achieve or maintain an erection --20% of couples are diagnosed with idiopathic infertility (doc don't know what is wrong).

Acceptance-of-fate couples

They are pleasantly surprised and quietly welcome a child even though they have not specifically planned a pregnancy. Often these couples have engaged in a partly unconscious or unspoken agreement of becoming pregnant by using contraceptive methods only sporadically or not at all.

Reactions to news of pregnancy planners

They discuss the issue and make a joint decision to conceive a child. they anticipate and intimate relationship with their children, and they look forward to watching them grow up. They are typically jubilant about becoming pregnant.

types of couples who live together

linus blanket- when one partner in the cohabiting relationship is so dependent or insecure that s/he prefers a relationship with anyone to being alone -emancipation-cohabitation was a way to break free from their parents' residence, values, and influence. -adventurers- new partners who have an affectionate relationship and who want to live together bc they enjoy each other. focused on the present testers- couples involved in good relationship who want to assess engaged- couples in love planning to marry -avoidance of alternatives- couples who don't like living alone or dating an array of partners or getting married. living together is their best alternative -career seekers: couples who enjoy each other for now, but who are on respective career paths that will probably separate them -money savers: couples who live together primarily out of economic convenience. they re open to the poss of a future together, but regard such a poss as unlikely. -pension partners: couples who live together because marriage would result in one or both of the partners losing benefits from a previous marriage. -separated: couples in which one or both partners are separated from previous spouses. they are living together until the divorce becomes final. -child pleasers: couples with children from a previous marriage whose children prefer that their parents live together rather than marry. -teenagers: some young couples feel that they are not developmentally ready to take on the social responsibilities of marriage. They are most likely in their teens and want to wait until they are older to marry. In the meantime, they enjoy living together. cohabitants forever: couples who view living together as permanent alternative to marriage.

dating among older people

❋ Older individuals were observed at a dance as dressing festive, flirting, and having a sense of anticipation. ❋ Older individuals defined dating as a committed, long-term, monogamous relationship, and similar to 'going steady' at a younger age. ❋ Older individuals tend to have similar views of romance as younger people. ❋ Older individuals have similar physiological and psychological symptoms as younger people. ❋ Older individuals are often much more creative in their dating than younger people. ❋ Older individuals often have an increased pace of dating (i.e., no game playing, more direct). ❋ Older individuals tend to equate passionate love with companionate love, while younger generations often equate it with real love (i.e., passion fades then love fades). ❋ Both face fear of disapproval about their dating activities. !63-year-old man - "My girlfriend (age 64) lives just down the hall from me [in a retirement home]. She spends the night. She usually brings her cordless phone just in case her daughter calls." !61-year-old woman - "I have a tendency to hide his shoes when my grandchildren are coming over."

dating and breaking up

❋ People generally speak of breakups as 'his breakup' and 'her breakup' ❋ Breakups can be very painful, especially if only one person wanted the breakup. The best way to minimize the pain is through mutual discussion. ❋ Breakups are generally harder on males than females. Males may find it hard to believe they are no longer loved, while females may be more practical in their views of relationships. !Females break up relationships more often than males do. !Females tend to have a better emotional support network than men; hence they often receive more emotional support from friends and family than men. !Males tend to fall in love more quickly than females, and they tend to cling to their love longer than females do.