Interpersonal Exam #1

What is a pseudoquestion and why is it dangerous?

A pseudoquestion is a pretend, fake judgment or opinion pretending to be a question, "where do you think you're going?" confusing and frustrating.

Explain the analogy that "and" can function as a comma or a semi colon rather than a period

"And" keeps the conversation going, similar to how a comma/ semi colon does in real life.

Write out three "me,me, and" statements that reflect different situations

"I do think you are bright and talented, and I think you're not working hard enough." "I feel badly for how rough things have been for you, and I'm feeling disappointed in you. "I'm upset with myself for not noticing that you were so lonely, and I was having problems at the time."

What do the authors advise you to use in place of "always" and "never"

"when you tell me my suit reminds you of curtains I feel hurt. Criticizing my clothes felt like an attack on my judgement and makes me feel incompetent." -The key is to communicate your feelings in a way that invites and encourages the recipient to consider new ways of behaving, rather than suggesting there a scmunck and its too bad that there's nothing they can do about it.

What parts of your own story are in the author's description of Jimmy

- you need to want to change and think deeply to get to the root of the problem (Jimmy needed to be more emotional-had to ask himself questions).

What does it mean to say that "and" and "next" can be both a marker and a trigger?

-"and" allows for openness in communication that gives both people an opportunity to expand the conversation. Understanding how to use "and" as a marker of your communication skills. Can be used as a semi colon to tell the person the idea isn't finished. "Next" promotes the continuous aspects of communication. Guides convo in positive manner.

What makes eye behavior so important in contestations?

-It enhances intimacy -signals for help -expresses emotions makes and influences credibility judgements **Windows to the soul** "looks person in the eye"

What other mixed and primarily non verbal cues similarly in potently where a little can go a long way?

-The spacing that you have with a partner is very important. -Closer distances that is mutual between both parties means a closer relationship. -Gestures are important as well / eye contact= shows interest level.

Describe how "self-sabatoge" can cripple effective expression

-We can feel trapped between the belief that we should stand up for ourselves and a hidden feeling that we don't deserve to be heard, that we are not entitled. - In this situation our unconscious mind can offer a devious- and illusory- solution.. we go through the motions of trying, but incompetently so that in the end we fail. -We wait to speak until there is not enough time to deal with our concerns. -we "conveniently forget our materials"

What are the four parts of a paraphrase

1. Restatement as a question... "So you believe that?" 2. It is a restatement of the other's meaning not a repeat of words. Meanings include both ideas and feelings "So you're worried that.." 3. Has to be in your own words- this demonstrates that you've thought about it. 4. Finish your paraphrase with opportunity for other person to verify your understanding "is that it?"

List the 8 possible benefits of self-disclosure

1. You begin and deepen a relationship by sharing questions, feelings, personal info, and confidences. 2. Improves the quality of friendship. 3. Allows you to validate your perception of reality. 4. Increase your self-awareness and clarifies your understanding. 5. The expression of feelings and reactions is a freeing experience. 6. You may disclose info about yourself or not as arenas of social control. 7. Self-disclosing is an important part of managing stress and adversity. 8. Full fills a human need to be known intimately and accepted.

Describe one feature of your personal identity. Level one feature of your relational identity. Describe one feature of your communal identity.

A. Personal identity: All the characteristics that you think make up yourself as a human. -can have Relational identity: Based on relationships you have with others. ex. Mother/ daughter, teacher/ student Communal identity: Related to larger groups, such as ethnicities, race, religion, gender and nationality.

Describe the apparent cognitive effects of heavy involvement in media multitasking

Belief that video games and other web technologies improve our ability to visualize spacing in relationships. However, consistency looking at stimuli, such as status updates, reduce our higher order cognitive abilities. These abilities are mindfulness, abstract reasoning, reflection, critical thinking, problem solving, and imagination.

What is facial expression discussed in two separate places in this reading?

Can be primarily non-verbal cue but also people's faces can connect with words when they help regular utterance, turns in convos, then they are mixed cues.

What's the difference between a clarifying question and an open question?

Clarifying question: "do you mean?" "when you say... do you mean?" -asking a person to explain how they define a word or a phrase and the implications of what is being said. Open question: Identify as a topic area and encourage the other person to talk about it. "How is your love life going?" instead of "So who was that person I saw you with yesterday?"

Fill in the blank: Cognitive schemata are ___ ____ that help us to ____ incoming information.

Cognitive schemata are mental guidelines that help us organize incoming information.

What is the difference between "core" issues of "competence" and "goodness"

Competent issues- wanting to be better in a work setting, for your boss to like you, but then being upset when he doesn't, doesn't feel the same. Goodness/ emotional- Doesn't want to hurt another person, going against spiritual and emotion beliefs- getting dragged into something due to guilt.

Whats the problem with an explanation of language based on an analysis of concrete nouns

Concrete nouns are confusing to figure out what things mean/ symbolize (ever, larger, and whether) -Words- more statements, messages etc. -Language is over simplified in its explanations. any people try to explain language by looking at individual words and their meanings, however, as people we usually express our ideas as statements and not as individual words. Explanation of language using individual words has to be limited.

Complete the sentence: communication is the c...,c....,c... process of verbal and ________ meaning making.

Continuous, complex and collaborative process of verbal and nonverbal meaning making.

Describe which main points of this reading are made by the poem "between"

Culture influences communication Emotions can be non-verbal cues Communication is joint effort Meaning making involves both sending and receiving information.

How does a person's culture affect his and her perceiving?

Cultures are marked by the way that they answer questions: -How should society be organized? -How do humans relate to each other? -Good or evil? Affects how people interrupt cues how greetings are.

Explain the "all or none principle"

Denial: Clinging to only a positive place- bad for negative feedback: need to make mistakes. Exaggeration: Letting the persons feedback define you and is "the only info we have about ourselves"

Dialogs means "meaning through" explain

Dialogue is not constricted to two people, it is an event where meanings emerge through all participants. Meaning is collaboratively constructed, you are not in control of the outcome.

What is the clearest example of an unmeasurable part of a person?

Emotions and feelings are the clearest example

Describe the basic similarities between Empathic and Dialogic listening

Empathic: Listening for someone else Perspective of them talking Non-verbal heavy Does not have to come to a mutual agreement Therapeutic oriented, person centered. Dialogic Listening: Listening WITH someone else A sense of togetherness, conclusions together Collaboration- open to more than two people in a convo. Goal is to reach a consensus, unified focused on "ours" Not in control.

Itemize six non verbal features of the words you find in the book

Eye contact Head movements Facial expression Tone of voice Touch

True or False: Identity negotiation is the only process that occurs when humans communicate

False, it goes on whenever people communicate but is not the only process that occurs.

Give an example from your own experience of gendered (feminine/ masculine) language affecting your perception of something or someone

Fireman- only men can put out fires.

How is "focusing on ours" different then from "focusing" that is part of empathic listening?

Focusing on ours means constructing meanings in conversations "co-sculpting" You don't look for verbal and non verbal cues or try to guess the internal state of the other person. Empathetic- empathy requires you to see whats behind the communication.

What is the fundamental attribution error? What's the ultimate attribution error? How can such errors be avoided?

Fundamental error- mistaken tendency people have to attribute to others behavior to internal, rather than external causes. Error- People's negative behavior is caused by internal factors and external is positive. The tendency to underestimate the impact of situational factors in producing another's behavior to over estimate the role of personality factors. Can avoid this error by remembering that the other's actions, just like your response are BOTH internal sonf external.

List three qualities in addition to ethnicity that make up a person's culture

Gender, age, social class, sexual orientation

Explain the differences between horizontal and vertical media

Horizontal media- Cross-sectional and made up of status updates, texting and entertainment based content. Vertical media- Deeper communication involving blogs, dedicated websites and subject-speicifc social networks.

What is the main distinction between the world inhabited by a dog, cat, chimp or dolphins, and the world inhabited by a human?

Humans live in a world of meaning, we have a meaning and reason for what we do.

** go over **Summarize the historical changes in our understanding of the relationship among sender, receiver, channel and effects

Husbands controlled communication with wives, father controlled communication with kids, bosses with employers, superior with subordinates. The primary focus source or sender was not good. There was a cultural change, where wives no longer listened to their husbands commands. Crucial: Outcomes, attempt created by effects. Hearers, viewers etc- do not have much choice, receiver does not have the power to change message.

Fill in the blank: "________ appear and are constructed or worked out in verbal and non verbal talk"

Identities appear and are constructed or worked out in verbal and non verbal talk

What is "identity" and how is it identity present in all communication?

Identity is the outcomes of conversations and something that we do, rather than what we are. - a person can have multiple identities. -fluid, not static. By having a convo, you are giving yourself an identity, the person you are talking to is giving you one, and you are giving them one as well. (product of conversation). Identity- created and shaped through communication.

What are the three C's?

Interpersonal: Collaborative, continuous, complex Impersonal: Certainty, closure, control

Paraphrase the idea that "and" can reflect provisionals and humility

It acts as an open ended word in communication. It keeps the conversation going naturally and allows both parties to give their ideas. -Indicates that there is "more to it" than what has currently been revealed, which is a perfect way for the convo to stay continuous.

What are paralinguistics

Non verbal elements -rate of speech, pitch variation, volume and vocal quality.

What are interactive gestures?

Movements not related to content but to the relationship between or among the people communicating. -include the listener and "act to maintain the convo as a social system."

Define texting and give one example of it from your own communication

Nexting is doing something helpful next, responding fruitfully to what just happened, taking addition steps in the communication process.

Explain what it means to say that words are "arbitrary symbols"

No relationship between the word and the thing it symbolizes. -alerts us to the dangers of abstractions and of the assumptions people make about what words mean by emphasizing that the thought or meaning associated with it. - Thoughts may not link to symbols.

Explain O= SAT

O: openness, S: self-awareness, A: self-aceptence, T: trust.

Explain what it means to say that perception is a "social cognitive process"

Perception- people assign meaning to sensory cues, people assume truth of things exists out there somewhere in what they are "seeing, hearing, touching, tasting and smelling" -But perception takes a picture through a lens not a window. -Shaped by perceiving person's experience and understanding is/her self's place in the world. -active process.

This reading discusses two ways people organize information and three ways to make inferences. label them.

Person prototype: generalized representation of certain types of people. -Based on experience and repeated personal interactions with people. Scripts- Structures dealing with certain sequences of action. -Based on experience and help us to know whats happening next. Impression formation- Complex process of integrating or synthesizing a variety of sometimes contradictory observations into a coherent overall "picture" of a person. Attribution- Devise theories or explanations about other people's behavior that provide a way of making sense out of whatever is occurring. -Assigning a cause of intention to the behavior. -(Internal factor: trait, mood, or disposition) (External factor: situation). Stereotyping- can be positive/ negative and can vary in intensity.

What's the difference between a reaction and a response

Reaction- An object can undergo. Response- humans are responsive, have numerous responses that they can give out after something has occurred.

What's missing, according to Stewart and Logan, from the account of language as an activity?

Researchers have little to say about the crucial identity-constructing function of communication.

According to this reading, what is the difference between responsibility and response-ability?

Responsibility: you caused something that occurred and the fault can be placed on you. Response-Ability: The ability a person has to respond in communication. You are response able when you have the willingness and ability to contribute in some way to events.

Especially in convo, silence, this reading argues is much more than the absence of noise

Silence of fear and terror, of wonder, of pain of joy. - silence relates to speaking. -can mean many different things. -mad, not interested OR positive (new teachers asking a question and thinking about it... good!) Silence in an interview- chance to collaborate.

Complete the following: This reading defines Interpersonal communication as the kind of ____ that happens when the people involved ____ and _____ in ways that ______ the presence of the ________.

The kind of communication that happens when people are involved talk and listen in ways that maximize the presence of the personal.

Paraphrase (a) "The medium is the message" (b) "The medium is the mass-age" (c) "The medium is the mass age."

The medium is the message: - means that researchers were overlooking the importance of the platform of which people were communicating over. -Whether messages were printed, face-face, radio, television, and so on researchers would fail to recognize the importance of it. The medium is the massage: - How we view problems, evaluate outcomes, and think critically is all changing because of the messages were receiving. The medium is the mass-age: - Social media sources have allowed humans to become mass communicators.

What is an implicit personality theory

The way in which newly formed information that relates to what is already known about the person.

Why is it misleading to this about human communication in terms of senders and receivers?

There is no one person that is doing just one job. Both parties must work to make meaning together, and thus both people are sending and receiving it.

Identify 3 plausible features of the identity being offered by the person who answers the telephone with "yeah?" and the person who answers the phone with "good morning may I help you?"

They are.... defining themselves differently but there is no right or wrong way to participate in constructing identities. There are just outcomes/ results.

What is a trajectory and how is this idea used in this essay?

Trajectory- path/ route -A way to look at a relationship as being on a path, and that you can move along the relationship by contributing move-open "and" and "next."

Explain what it means to say that two-person communication has become mass communication

Two person communication becomes mass communication when the shift from 3 modes (two person, small group, and mass communication) turned into making podcasts, video and text based technologies There are a lot of easy ways to communicate/ reach a wide audience as an individual.

Explain the differences between being open with another person being open to another person

You are open with another person when you disclose yourself to them, sharing your thoughts, ideas and feelings to the present situation and letting other people know who you are as a person. You are aware of... (a) Who you are (b) accept yourself (c) take the risk of trusting the other person to accept you. Openness thus can be described as being dependent on set awareness.

What does it mean to say that "failure to express yourself keeps you out of the relationship"

You deny them a chance to get to know a part of you. When we fail to share what's most important to us, we detach ourselves from others and damage relationships.

Explain the relationship between self disclosure and self-awareness

You need to realize that there are may complex aspects of yourselves- you present yourself to your boss differently than to your friends, in different situations and when different aspects are relevant.

What does it mean to "rely on subtext"

You try to get your message across indirectly, through jokes, questions and offhand communes or body language. -"bringing it up by not quite bringing it up"- is a way of doing neither and both at the same time but to a bad extent both ways. -You end up triggering all of the problems without getting the benefits of clearly saying what you want to say.

Distinguish ethnocentric from cosmopolitan communicating

ethnocentric communicating- Judging another culture sole by the standards of your own culture. Cosmopolitan communicating- when you engage in communication with someone (or others) whom you do not see eye-to-eye with or are from completely diverse cultures of social standards, but you engage that conversation in a way that coordinates understanding.

What is the difference between a reaction and a response

reaction- not thinking, solely one person, usually hostile, opposition and contrary to the other person. response- all human action is joint action, responders grow out of and fit into a context of actions and events that we behave in relation to. This includes reflection about what the other person had said.

What is the relationship between self-disclosure and liking?

self-disclosure allows you and other individuals to identify similar halls, and overlapping needs, interests, activities and values.

Define strategic self-representation and self-verification

strategic self-presentation: consists of efforts to shape others' impressions in specific ways in order to gain influence, power, sympathy or approval. Self-verification: The desire to have others perceive us as we genuinely perceive ourselves.