Love Actually Midterm Review

Durkheim Study

Émile Durkheim (French Sociologist) in 1897: •Applied basic sociological principles to study suicide •Such principles helped explain suicide patterns by identifying factors external to the individual. •Major factor affecting rates of suicide was the degree of social integration of groups •The extent to which an individual is integrated into group life determined whether he would be likely to commit suicide •Found that unmarried men and women were more likely to commit suicide than those who were married

Impact of Loving relationships on the Development of Heart Disease

•10,000 men participated •Followed prospectively for the development of heart disease Men who answered "yes" to the question "Does your wife show you love?" were ½ as likely to develop angina (chest pain) over the next 5 years •1,400 males and females participants who underwent cardiac catheterization and were found to have coronary artery disease (CAD) •Followed prospectively •After 5 years •15% mortality rate for those who were married or who reported having a close confidant •50% mortality rate for those who were unmarried and reported having no close confidant

Mammalian Brain

- Vocal communication between a mammal and offspring is universal - Separation cry (found when removing mammalian offspring from its mother) not present in reptiles - Play is also unique to mammals (i.e. engaging in activity for enjoyment; saying one thing and meaning another; e.g. a dog tugging on a shoe doesn't want the shoe, wants the tugging)

Social Capital

"A community-level resource reflected in social relationships involving networks, norms, and levels of trust" (Putnam 2000). •"connections among individuals - social networks and the norms of reciprocity and trustworthiness that arise from them" (Putnam 2000). Accrues to individuals as a protective factor as a result of membership in groups (Bourdieu 1986). Positive influences on health are derived from enhanced self-esteem, sense of support, access to group and organizational resources, and its buffering qualities in stressful situations. One of the most powerful determinants of an individual's health (Putnam 2000). Persons who are socially disconnected are between two to five times more likely to die from all causes when compared to individuals with close ties to family, friends, and community Significance of social capital was first established in the Roseto study begun in the 1950s.

Self/Other

"Interpersonal relational processes generate private, interior processes, which reshape interpersonal processes, which reshape intrapsychic processes, on and on, in a self-propelling strange loop, an endless Mobius Strip in which internal and external are perpetually regenerating and transforming themselves and each other." "The real adventure and risk of sexuality stem from the breach it creates in the conventional boundaries between self and other. We establish decency in intimate relationships to facilitate continuity, security, and attachment. But bodily states and pleasures are full of surprises. What is at risk of being considered indecent in the exposures of sex is not the beast in us but the me-ness in us."

Neuroskeptics

"Looking at our minds with our minds is like writing a book about hallucinations while on LSD: you can't tell the perceptual evidence from your own inner state" "Neuroscience can often answer the obvious questions but rarely the interesting ones. It can tell us how our minds are made to hear music, and how groups of notes provoke neural connections, but not why Mozart is more profound than Manilow."

"To fall in love with anyone, do this" by Mandy Len Catron

"The 36 Questions That Lead to Love" - based on the study by psychologist Arthur Aron, et. al that explored whether intimacy between two strangers can be accelerated by having them ask each other a specific series of personal questions - 36 questions in the study are broken up into three sets, with each set intended to be more probing than the previous one - Based on premise that mutual vulnerability fosters closeness - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q2li55oh1qo

Layla, Majnun, and the divine

"Virgin love" OG Romeo + Juliet Retold by many, notably the Persian romance of Laili and Majnun by Nezami Ganjawi (1140-1209 CE) Love story of two young lovers from Bedouin Arabia Qays falls in love with his classmate Layla and she too is smitten Qays publicly and unreservedly pronounces his obsessive passion for her, earning the epithet Majnun (literally, "possessed" or "mad") Layla's parents reject this 'crazy' guy for their daughter! Majnun wanders aimlessly through the desert, bonding with wild beasts, and living an ascetic life He goes to the holiest of Muslim sites, the Ka'ba, and pleads to Allah to make him "a hundred-fold" more "possessed" in his love for Layla. Layla's father gives her in marriage, against her will, to an affluent, but shallow, man named Ibn Salam. Layla insists on preserving her chastity. She remains faithful to her true love, Majnun, until Ibn Salam dies of rejection, disillusionment, and grief. Majnun is offered the chance to visit his beloved, to speak with her in person. Majnun refuses to have physical (or sexual) contact with Layla, striving to realize "perfect love", a love that transcends sensual contact, free from selfish intentions, lust, and earthly desires. Commentators have interpreted Nezami's Laili and Majnun as a Sufi (Islamic mystical) allegorical narrative, where the lover seeks ultimate union with, as well as annihilation in, the Beloved (i.e. the Divine or the Truth). Majnun's harsh life in the desert has been compared to the ascetic life of Muslim mystics who rejected earthly pleasures and renounced worldly affinities.

Idealization, Fantasy, and Illusions

"neurotics daydream about sandcastles in the sky; psychotics live in them" Suggests 3 states of mind: fantasy world of the neurotic, delusional world of the psychotic, and a singular reality Is imagination good or bad in romantic love? Mitchell suggests: ◦ Fantasy and reality can coexist ◦ Fantasy makes the essential uniqueness of romantic love ◦ Fantasy and idealization are parts of reality

Identity vs. Role Confusion

*13 years to 24 years* Main Question: "Who am I and where am I going?" - The adolescent is newly concerned with how they appear to others. - Adolescents develop a sense of sexual identity and ponder the roles they will play in the adult world. - They are apt to experience some role confusion- mixed ideas and feelings about the specific ways in which they will fit into society- and may experiment with a variety of behaviors and activities (e.g. clubs, sports, politics). - Eventually, Erikson proposed, most adolescents achieve a sense of identity regarding who they are and where their lives are headed. Erikson is credited with coining the term "Identity Crisis". - Each stage that came before and that follows has its own 'crisis' - "This turning point in human development seems to be the reconciliation between 'the person one has come to be' and 'the person society expects one to become'." - This emerging sense of self will be established by 'forging' past experiences with anticipations of the future.

Intimacy vs. Isolation

*25 years to 40 years* Main Questions: "Am I loved and wanted?" "Shall I share my life with someone or live alone?" Virtue: Love At the start of this stage, identity vs. role confusion is coming to an end, and it still lingers at the foundation of the stage (around age 30). Young adults are still eager to blend their identities with friends. They want to fit in. Erikson believes we are sometimes isolated due to intimacy. We are afraid of rejections such as being turned down or our partners breaking up with us. We are familiar with pain, and to some of us, rejection is painful; our egos cannot bear the pain. Once people have established their identities, they are ready to make long-term commitments to others. They become capable of forming intimate, reciprocal relationships (e.g. through close friendships or marriage) and willingly make the sacrifices and compromises that such relationships require. If people cannot form these intimate relationships - perhaps because of their own needs - a sense of isolation may result.

Kama Sutra

- Ancient Indian Sanskrit text meant to serve as a guide to "sexuality, eroticism, and emotional fulfillment" - Written between 400-300 BCE in India - Not intended to be a guide on sexual positions at all - Text is poetic prose - Goal was to share Hindu concept of "Purusharthas" or main goals of life ○ Guide to living well, nature of love, finding a life partner, maintaining love, etc ○ Methods for courtship, art of social graces, flirting, maintenance of power in marriage ○ What triggers desire ○ What sustains desire

Romance / Romantic Love

- Term coined by 19th century literary critic, Gaston Paris - Equality between sexes, and similarities and complementaries of love partners started to be considered - Based on religious thinking of Middle Ages "God is love" but transformed to "love is God" - ○carry out divinity through - Later developed as concept of sexual love - Currently, Romantic Love is considered to be a combination of sexual desire and affection "lust and friendship, tenderness and affection"

Limbic Resonance

- The capacity for empathy and non-verbal connection that is present in mammals - Mutual exchange and internal adaptation whereby two mammals become attuned to each other's inner states - Forms the basis of our social connections as well as the foundation for various modes of therapy and healing - Limbic resonance as the mechanism of love

Johns Hopkins Study

1,100 male medical students in the 1940's were given the "closeness to parents" scale that assessed the quality of students' relationships with their parents Purpose of the study was to examine if the quality of human relationships might be a factor in the development of cancer 50 year follow-up •The best predictor of who would get cancer was the closeness of the father-son relationships earlier in life. •Better predictor than smoking, drinking, or radiation exposure

Harvard Mastery of Stress Study

126 healthy men at Harvard (classes of 1952 and 1954) were given questionnaires to measure how they felt about their parents 35 years follow-up • 95% of subjects who used few positive words in describing their parents and who rated their parents low in parental caring had diseases diagnosed in midlife (high cholesterol, high blood pressure, diabetes, obesity, heart disease, etc.) • 29% of subjects who used many positive words in describing their parents and who rated their parents high in parental caring had diseases diagnosed in midlife

Are Arranged Marriage Successful?

73% of young Indians (18-35) prefer arranged marriages ~90% of all Indian marriages are arranged 1/100 Indian marriages end in divorce Studies indicate that marrying via arranged marriage or free choice had NO difference in marriage satisfaction WHY? Relinquishing multiple aspects of having to make a choice: - partner is screened by family and social circle - attractiveness levels are matched - don't have to worry about when to stop searching Limited opportunity for overthinking Starting relationship with lower expectations

Social Competence

A collection of individual social skills that permit individuals to perform successfully in social settings

What is Anthropology?

A social science Studies the development of the human species The study of human societies and cultures and their development Interested in power, religion, kinship, myths, migration, crafts and other practices, beliefs of subjects, groups, and societies established in a specific space and time

Norepinephrine

A stress-hormone, along with epinephrine (aka adrenaline) involved in the fight-or-flight response Made in the locus coeruleus and projects to regions throughout the brain Affects parts of the brain where strong emotion and vigilant attention are regulated The effects are manifested in alertness, arousal, and also has complex influences on the reward system discussed above. Hypothesized to be elevated in states of intense attraction

The Science of Neglect

Harry Harlow (1905-1981) - Psychologist best known for his maternal-separation, dependency needs, and social isolation experiments on rhesus monkeys Rene Spitz (1887-1974) - Psychoanalyst, researcher - Made observations about child development - Termed "anaclitic depression" to refer to partial emotional deprivation (the loss of a loved object). - If one deprives a child for longer than five months, they will show the symptoms of increasingly serious deterioration. He called this total deprivation "hospitalism."

The Little Prince

According to the fox, it is our relationships that make the world around us significant and meaningful (wheat fields) "One sees clearly only with the heart. What is essential is invisible to the eye." "It is the time you have wasted for your rose that makes your rose so important." "You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed."

Fourteenth Amendment to the US Constitution

Addresses many aspects of citizenship and the rights of citizens The most commonly used -- and frequently litigated - - phrase in the amendment is "equal protection of the laws", which figures prominently in a wide variety of landmark cases: Brown v. Board of Education (racial discrimination), Roe v. Wade (reproductive rights), Bush v. Gore (election recounts), Reed v. Reed (gender discrimination), etc. Equal Protection Clause: "nor shall any State [...] deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws".

Health Paradox of Adolescence

Adolescence is physically the healthiest period of the lifespan - Improvements in strength, speed, reaction time, reasoning abilities, immune function - Increased resistance to cold, heat, hunger, dehydration Yet: overall morbidity and mortality rates increase 200% from childhood to late adolescence Primary sources of death/disability are related to problems with control of behavior and emotion: - Accidents - Suicide - Homicide Role of intensifying affective (emotional and motivational) influences on behavior How these influences interact with risk and risk-promoting social contexts Due to the socio-affective changes that begin at puberty

What factors contribute to attraction?

Affective Influences Propinquity effect (proximity effect) Similarity - assortative mating (tendency of people to match with partners who are similar to them on a variety of dimensions) Social comparison theory Scarcity Physiological arousal Neurochemical factors Physical Attractiveness

Loneliness and Ambiguous Loss

Ambiguous loss is a loss that occurs without closure or understanding. This kind of loss leaves a person searching for answers, and can complicate and delay the process of grieving, and often results in unresolved grief. Examples: - When a person is still physically present but psychologically gone E.g. a person with Alzheimer's - When a person who is physically gone but psychologically still present E.g. someone who has disappeared - In both cases you cannot resolve the question of mourning and loss, because you don't know if they are here or are they not?

Types of casual relationships

Hook-ups Dating Friends with Benefits - True Friends - Just Sex - Network Opportunism - Successful Transition In - Unintentional Transition In - Failed Transition In - Transition Out (ex-sex)

Attachment Theory

Bowlby used information from the fields of evolutionary biology, ethology, developmental psychology and formulated the innovative idea that the mechanisms underlying an infants tie to his/her caregiver emerged as a result of evolutionary pressure Konrad Lorenz (1903-1989): - Ethologist, zoologist - Observed that young geese instinctively bond with the first moving stimulus they perceive, whether it be its mother, a person or an inanimate object: termed this phenomenon "imprinting" (phase-sensitive learning) Attachment Theory Summary: - Infants needs to develop a relationship with at least one primary caregiver for the child's successful social and emotional development, and in particular for learning how to effectively regulate their feelings - In the presence of a sensitive and responsive caregiver, the infant will use the caregiver as a "safe base" from which to explore - Even "sensitive" caregivers get it right only about 50 percent of the time - Their communications are either out of synch, or mismatched. There are times when parents feel tired or distracted. The telephone rings or there is breakfast to prepare. In other words, attuned interactions rupture quite frequently - The hallmark of a sensitive caregiver is that the ruptures are managed and repaired - Early patterns of attachment, in turn, shape the individual's expectations and behavior in later relationships

Culture

Culture: - Umbrella term encompassing the social behavior and norms found in human societies, as well as the knowledge, beliefs, arts, laws, customs, capabilities, and habits of the individuals in these groups-set of customs, traditions and values of a society or a community Cultural norms: - Templates of acceptable conduct in a social group; guidelines for behavior, language, dress, and demeanor Material culture - Expressions of culture, such as technology, architecture and art Immaterial culture: - Principles of social organization (including political and religious organizations), mythology, philosophy, literature, and science comprise the heritage of a society

Nervous system

Central Nervous system - brain and spinal cord Peripheral Nervous System (everything else)

Neurotransmitters

Chemicals that transmit signals across a synapse from one neuron to another 'target' neuron released from synaptic vesicles at the end of one neuron into the synapse, where they are received by receptors on the target neuron. Neurotransmitters contribute to the electrical impulse of the target neuron

Stephen Mitchell (1946-2000)

Clinical psychologist and psychoanalyst Founder of a school of psychoanalysis called "Relational" Wrote Can Love Last? Which was published posthumously in 2002 Application of relational theory to love relationships

What is the real problem with long-term desire?

Crisis of desire ≈ Crisis of imagination

The Four Horsemen

Criticism: Verbally attacking personality or character Contempt: Attacking sense of self with an intent to insult or abuse Defensiveness: Victimizing yourself to ward off a perceived attack and reverse the blame Stonewalling: Withdrawing to avoid conflict and convey disapproval, distance, and separation

What is Evolution by Natural Selection?

Evolution by natural selection - Those individual organisms with heritable traits better suited to the environment will survive "Survival of the fittest" - "Fitness" = having babies; passing on genes Sexual selection - Natural selection acting on mate-finding and reproductive behavior Kin selection - Natural selection in favor of behavior by individuals that may decrease their chance of survival but increases that of their kin (i.e. a means by which sexual organisms propagate their DNA)

Adolescent Brain Development

Dan Siegel, MD describes four features that characterize adolescent brain development: 1. Novelty seeking - Increased drive for rewards Implications for Novelty Seeking: - Impulsivity (↑ behaviors occur without reflection) - Susceptibility to addiction - Shapes hyperrationality 2. Increased emotional intensity - Enhanced vitality for life - Profound changes in romantic interest, motivation, emotional intensity - Intensification of many type of goal-directed behaviors (especially behaviors related to social status) 3. Creative exploration - New conceptual thinking / abstract reasoning - Questioning the status quo 4. Social engagement - Enhanced drive for peer connectedness

What is Desire?

Desire is to own the wanting In order to own something, - there needs to be a sovereign self - that is free to choose - and feels worth of wanting - and feels worth of receiving This is the reason why desire is so intimately connected to the sense of self-worth

The Developmental Stages of Erik Erikson

Developmental psychologist and psychoanalyst known for his theory on psychological development of human beings: Stage 1: Trust vs. Mistrust Stage 2: Autonomy vs. Shame Stage 3: Initiative vs. Guilt Stage 4: Industry vs. Inferiority Stage 5: Identity vs. Confusion Stage 6: Intimacy vs. Isolation Stage 7: Generativity vs. Stagnation Stage 8: Integrity vs. Despair

Neurotransmitters of Love

Dopamine Norepinephrine Serotonin Endorphins (opioids) Oxytocin Vasopressin

Dunbar's number

Dr. Robin Dunbar (anthropologist, evolutionary psychologist, primate behavior specialist) Noticed correlation between primate brain size and average social group size Suggested "cognitive limit to the number of individuals with whom any one person can maintain stable relationships" (a group "where everyone knows everyone") Number of people one knows and keeps social contact with Combined data from 38 different primate species and extrapolated results to propose that humans (based on neocortex size) should be able to have between 100-230 meaningful social relationships (150 is often cited)

Donald Winnicott

English pediatrician and psychoanalyst (1896-1971) Grew up with a depressed mother "The foundations of health are laid down by the ordinary mother in her ordinary loving care of her own baby" - The good enough mother The Holding Environment "Mother's technique of holding, of bathing, of feeding, everything she did for the baby, added up to the child's first idea of the mother"

Types of Love in Ancient Greece

Eros: ◦ sexual passion and desire ◦ named after the Greek god of fertility Philia: ◦ friendship ◦ valued far more than the base sexuality of eros ◦ concerned the deep comradely friendship that developed between brothers in arms who had fought side by side on the battlefield ◦ showing loyalty to your friends, sacrificing for them, and sharing your emotions with them Storge: ◦ A type of philia love ◦ Familial love ◦ Love between parent and child ◦ Often unilateral ◦ Borne out of fondness and dependency Ludos: ◦ playful love ◦ referred to the affection between children or young lovers ◦ We live out our ludus when we sit around in a bar bantering and laughing with friends, or when we go out dancing Agape: ◦ universal love ◦ selfless love ◦ perhaps the most radical ◦ a love that you extended to all people, whether family members or distant strangers Pragma: ◦ mature love ◦ deep understanding that developed between long-married couples ◦ about making compromises to help the relationship work over time, and showing patience and tolerance Philautia: ◦ self-love ◦ Two types: an unhealthy variety associated with narcissism, where you became self-obsessed and focused on personal fame and fortune. a healthier version enhanced your wider capacity to love / self-esteem

Caritas Synthesis (Plato, St. Augustine, St. Thomas)

Essentially a blend of heavenly Eros and Agape Translates to "charity" or "lovingkindness" Developed by Church, starting with St. Augustine and later St. Thomas Reflects the relationship between humans and God Emphasis was on love between humans and God

Obergefell v. Hodges

Facts of the case: Groups of same-sex couples sued their relevant state agencies in Ohio, Michigan, Kentucky, and Tennessee to challenge the constitutionality of those states' bans on same-sex marriage or refusal to recognize legal same-sex marriages that occurred in jurisdictions that provided for such marriages. The plaintiffs in each case argued that the states' statutes violated the Equal Protection Clause and Due Process Clause of the Fourteenth Amendment, and one group of plaintiffs also brought claims under the Civil Rights Act. But then: The U.S. Court of Appeals for the Sixth Circuit reversed and held that the states bans on same-sex marriage and refusal to recognize marriages performed in other states did not violate the couples' Fourteenth Amendment rights to equal protection and due process. Questions for the Supreme Court: (1) Does the Fourteenth Amendment require a state to license a marriage between two people of the same sex? (2) Does the Fourteenth Amendment require a state to recognize a marriage between two people of the same sex that was legally licensed and performed in another state? Answers: Yes & Yes. On June 26, 2015 the Court held that the Due Process Clause of the Fourteenth Amendment guarantees the right to marry as one of the fundamental liberties it protects, and that analysis applies to same-sex couples. The right to marry is a fundamental liberty because it is inherent to the concept of individual autonomy, protects the most intimate association between two people, safeguards children and families by according legal recognition to building a home and raising children, and is a keystone of social order. Marriage rights have traditionally been addressed through both parts of the Fourteenth Amendment, and the same interrelated principles of liberty and equality apply with equal force to these cases. The Court also held that the First Amendment protects the rights of religious organizations to adhere to their principles, but it does not allow states to deny same-sex couples the right to marry on the same terms as those for opposite-sex couples.

Loving v. Virginia

Facts of the case: In 1958, two residents of Virginia, Mildred Jeter, a black woman, and Richard Loving, a white man, were married in the District of Columbia. The Lovings returned to Virginia shortly thereafter. The couple was then charged with violating the state's antimiscegenation statute, which banned inter-racial marriages. The Lovings were found guilty and sentenced to a year in jail (the trial judge agreed to suspend the sentence if the Lovings would leave Virginia and not return for 25 years). Question for the Supreme Court: Did Virginia's antimiscegenation law violate the Equal Protection Clause of the Fourteenth Amendment? In 1967 the Supreme Court ruled. Answer: Yes. The Virginia law, the Court found, had no legitimate purpose "independent of invidious racial discrimination." The Court rejected the state's argument that the statute was legitimate because it applied equally to both blacks and whites. The Court held that the Virginia law violated the Due Process Clause of the Fourteenth Amendment.

Courtly Love

French theory of "Amour Courtois" arising in the 12th century Constellation of attitudes and patterns of behavior that characterized a body of literature "Caritas Synthesis" attributed to humans Key Components: ○ Sexual love between men and women is ideal ○ Love is ennobling for men and women ○ Love has ethical and aesthetic rules ○ Love is intertwined in courtship rituals but NOT resulting in marriage ○ Intense, passionate relationship and established a holy unity between men and women

The function of friendship in childhood development

Friends provide information about the world and other people Friends provide emotional support and help kids to handle stress Friends teach children how to manage and control their emotions Friends teach about communication with others Friends foster intellectual growth Friends allow children to practice relationship skills

What specifically is needed to practice loving?

Fromm argues in order to overcoming one's narcissism (orientation in which one experiences as real only that which exists within oneself), one must develop: ◦ Reason (faculty to think objectively) ◦ Humility (emotional attitude behind reason) ◦ Objectivity (faculty to see people and things as they are) ◦ Rational Faith (belief rooted in experience of thought and feeling) ◦ Courage (ability to take a risk)

What does Fromm say is required to practice Love?

Fromm argues that overcoming one's narcissism is necessary in order to love "narcissism" is defined as 'as an orientation in which one experiences as real only that which exists within oneself' Freud called the first psychological state of a newborn as "primary narcissism" Freud argued, gradually the newborn's attention is redirected outwards, toward others whom he/she depends for survival and pleasure => "primary narcissism" gets broken up and dispersed "Primary narcissism" gets transformed into "object-love" Love of others who provide the newborn pleasure Freud defined idealization: as overvaluation (assigning more value to something than its objective value) Overvaluation has its origins in this infantile state of mind of the newborn Too much overvaluation of self è excessive idealization of the self = not healthy / dangerous / draws us away from the real world Too much overvaluation of the other è too much romantic idealization = not healthy if sustained interminably / depletes the self, can cause self-loathing/suicide

Erich Fromm (1900 - 1980)

German-born American social psychologist, psychoanalyst, sociologist, humanistic philosopher Fromm said most people think... ...that love is easy. ...that finding the right person is difficult. ...that it's the love-object that is complicated. ...that the experience of loving is easy. Fromm said, in fact, the truth is completely the opposite. Fromm said... ...love is a verb. ...that it's not a permanent state of enthusiasm. ...and that it's an actual practice. Love is something you do. Not something you have.

Attunement

How reactive a person is to another's emotional needs and mood Well-attuned individuals will respond with appropriate language and behaviors based on another person's emotional state

The Human Brain: An Organ of Sexual Selection?

Human brain is far more complex system than what we would need to survive in the plains of Africa All other species have small simple nervous systems tightly optimized to perform essential features of survival Humans notice beauty but we are ALSO attracted to how someone thinks, feels, and acts Artistic expression, including music, art, the poetic and story-telling uses of language, and sense of humor stem from our desire to impress the opposite sex The brain's evolved capacity to fall in Love exists because our ancestors valued it when they were making sexual choices

Stats for Love in Japan

In Japan 45% of women 16-24 and >25% of men were not interested in or despised sexual contact # of men and women 18-34 "not involved in any romantic relationship with the opposite sex" increased 1/3 people <30 never dated, and>25% 35-39 never had sex 2004—2012 % married couples no sex in the last month increased from 31.9 to 41.3% Birth rate is 222nd out of 224 countries 1960's - 70% of all marriages were arranged by family 2005 - 6.2% marriages were arranged Herbivore Men: "Japanese men who are very shy and passive and show no interest in sex and romantic relationships" 60% of male singles in their 20's and 30's self-identify this way Women express wish for men to take more initiative Rejection Sensitivity Hikikomori: Japanese psychopathological and sociological phenomenon Literally means "pulling inward, being confined" Reclusive adolescents or adults in Japan who withdraw from society and seek extreme degrees of isolation and confinement

Divorce Statistics

In the United States: Percentage of 1st marriages that end in divorce: ~45%-50% Percentage of 2nd marriages that end in divorce: ~60%-65% Percentage of 3rd marriages that end in divorce: ~75% If your parents are happily married, your risk of divorce decreases by 14 percent. People who wait to marry until they are over the age of 25 are 24% less likely to get divorced. Living together prior to getting married can increase the chance of getting divorced by as much as 40%. If you've attended college, your risk of divorce decreases by 13%. 2008 voter data shows that "red" states (states that tend to vote Republican), have higher divorce rates than "blue" states (states that tend to vote Democrat). The Barna Research Group measured divorce statistics by religion. They found that 29% of Baptists are divorced (the highest for a US religious group), while only 21% of atheists/agnostics were divorced (the lowest).

The Victorian Era

Industrial Revolution (rural → urban society) Integration of people from many ethnic and social backgrounds Shift from working in small villages and farms to specialized work, closer living quarters Money economy developed → wages were very low → people more focused on making a living Progressive devaluation of women: Women are non-responsive sexual objects, not sexual creatures Role is to marry → have kids → support hard working husband Discussing sexuality became a taboo: - Set stage for appearance of neuroses - Freud's "repression" Sexual Revolution: 1960 - 1980s in Europe and America "Eroticization of female sexuality and decline of double standard" Studies show that since the 1960s - Decline in sexual differences between men and women - Women becoming more assertive, encouraged to explore their sexuality Rise of homosexual identity and subculture formed an elaborate gay subculture → impacted homosexual relationships as well Greater acceptance of cohabitation, premarital and nonmarital sex, proliferation of pornography SEX = LOVE

Erich Fromm's The Art of Loving

Infant state is one of narcissism Infant's ability to love others develops as he is able to differentiate himself from others (happens around 8-10 months) Love develops from the concept of giving or producing (ie a drawing, a poem given to a parent) Giving becomes more joyous than to receive "I am loved because I love" vs "I love because I am loved"

Sternberg Triangular Theory of Love (1986)

Intimacy- emotional dimension; sense of bondedness and connection Passion - motivational dimension; physical attraction; sexual desire/attraction Commitment -cognitive dimension; conscious decision to maintain a relationship overtime Each person has a unique ratio of different amounts of each component (intimacy, passion, commitment) Ratios of components change over time The more a couple's ratios match, the more likely they are to be satisfied in the relationship

John Bowlby and his findings on WHO

John Bowlby (1907-1990) British Psychiatrist and psychoanalyst 4th of 6 children Raised by a Nanny Guiding belief at time: parental attention and affection would lead to dangerous spoiling of the children Nanny left the family when Bowlby was 4 years old- described this as being as tragic as the loss of a mother This event fuels his interest in what will come to be called Attachment Theory Influenced by Anna Freud (1895-1982) WWII gave her the opportunity to observe the effect of deprivation of parental care on children She set up a center in London for children in foster care - mothers were encouraged to visit as often as possible The underlying idea was to give children the opportunity to form attachments by providing continuity of relationships Also influenced by Rene Spitz (1887-1974) - thought that infants in institutions suffered from lack of love--that they were missing important parental relationships, which in turn was hurting or even killing them John Bowlby: - Became interested in finding out the patterns of family interaction involved in both healthy and pathological development - Focused on how attachment difficulties were transmitted from one generation to the next - In his development of attachment theory, he proposed the idea that attachment behavior was an evolutionary survival strategy for protecting the infant from predators - Commissioned to write the World Health Organization's report on the mental health of homeless children in post-war Europe - The result was Maternal Care and Mental Health published in 1951 - Main conclusion: "The infant and young child should experience a warm, intimate, and continuous relationship with his mother (or permanent mother substitute) in which both find satisfaction and enjoyment." - Not to do so may have significant and irreversible mental health consequences - The 1951 WHO publication was highly influential in causing widespread changes in the practices and prevalence of institutional care for infants and children, and in changing practices relating to the visiting of infants and small children in hospitals by parents - Controversial - broke with psychoanalytic theories which saw infants' internal life as being determined by fantasy rather than real life events - Used for political purposes to claim any separation from the mother was deleterious to discourage women from working and leaving their children in daycare

Evolutionary Psychology

Looks to understand the evolution of universal human behaviors. Why have biologically-based universal human behaviors evolved? Evolutionary Psychology of human mating and partner selection Evolutionary Psychology of Love

The relationship between love & desire

Love --> "to have" minimize distance, contract the gap, know the beloved, minimize tensions, be close Desire --> "to want" want an "Other", need for space, "fire needs air" not neediness, not care-taking (anti-aphrodisiac)

"The standard narrative"

Males and females assess the value of mates from perspectives based upon their differing reproductive agendas/capacities. Opposing reproductive strategies Male competition versus female choice

Mary Ainsworth

Mary Ainsworth (1913-1999) Canadian-American Developmental Psychologist Student of Bowlby Performed observations of mothers and infants Developed the Strange Situation Procedure Categorized different types of attachment styles in children: 1. Secure Attachment 2. Insecure Attachments - Avoidant Attachment - Anxious/Ambivalent Attachment - Disorganized / Reactive Attachment (later added by a colleague)

Reproductive Strategies

Monogyny (mono- "one" -gyny "female") POLYGYNY (poly- "many" -gyny "female"): - A minority (16%) of 853 cultures recorded prescribe monogyny(Western cultures included in this) - Most (84%) of these cultures permit polygyny - However: Only 5-10% of men in these societies actually have several wives simultaneously - One man, many wives Monandry (mono- "one" -andry "male") ---------------------------------------------------- POLYANDRY (poly- "many" -andry "male"): - Polyandry is rare (permitted in 0.5% of societies) - One woman, many husbands MONOGAMY (mono- "one" -gamy "spouse"): - Strict dictionary definition is "the condition, rule, or custom of being married to only one person at a time" - Zoologist definition: "a prolonged association and essentially exclusive mating relationship between one male and one female" - Technically not synonymous with fidelity - However, it is often misused to imply sexual fidelity / colloquially understood to mean "fidelity" - "Monogamy may or may not be natural to human beings, but transgression surely is." ~Esther Perel~ - People are having a hard time maintaining monogamy Polygamy (poly- "many" -gamy "spouse")

Objects of Love

Motherly love = unconditional love Fatherly love = conditional love Mother carries function of making child secure in life Father has the function of teaching him and guiding him to cope with problems Synthesis of motherly and fatherly love results in mental health and maturity Failure of synthesis results in neurosis

Damon's 3 stages of Friendship

Stage 1 - ages 4-7 - Children see friends as like themselves. - Children see friends as people to share toys and activities with. - Children do not take into account personal traits. Stage 2 - ages 8-10 - Children now begin to take other's personal qualities and traits into consideration. - Friends are viewed in terms of the kinds of rewards they provide. - Friendships are based on mutual trust. Stage 3 - ages 11-15 - Friendships become based on intimacy and loyalty. - Friendships involve mutual disclosure and exclusivity. - Children also develop clear ideas about the behaviors they seek in friends.

Oxytocin

Neurochemical produced in the hypothalamus that modulates bonding, social behavior, and attachment across a wide range of species Released into a woman's blood circulation during labor, breastfeeding, vaginal stimulation, and copulation Key neurochemical in mother-infant bonding Released from the hypothalamus when an infant suckles on the mother's breast and stimulates breast milk production This breast milk production response becomes conditioned in the mother so that she expresses milk when she sees her baby or hears her baby cry. Effects of oxytocin on bonding and attachment: Modulates maternal behavior Increases and then stabilizes in mothers AND fathers over the first 6 months of infant's life Modulates pair bonding and attachment Facilitates powerful anti-stress effects that support pair bonding and attachment Enhances attachment security in insecurely attached individuals Oxytocin levels in mothers correlate with secure attachment Protects us against the stressful effects of social isolation Abnormalities hinder emotional development and increased aggression "Love," "cuddle," "bonding" hormone Oxytocin plays a role in producing contractions at childbirth and in helping in lactation Oxytocin in rodents allows them to stay true to their mates and when scientists prevent their cells from taking up oxytocin, the voles become more promiscuous If ewes are blocked from taking up oxytocin, they neglect their newborn lambs

Why sex?

Offspring have variety Better chance of survival In evolutionary terms, sex is more important than life itself. Sex fuels evolutionary change by adding variation to the gene pool. How has the powerful urge to pass our genes on to the next generation affected human behavior

Consensual Non-Monogamy Subtypes

Open Relationships = couples who have a relational "home base" with one another, but have the ability to pursue other intimate relationships at the same time Swinging = married couples swap partners Polygamy = marriage featuring multiple spouses Polyamory = multiple sexual and/or romantic partners simultaneously - Someone who is polyamorous may or may not be married - Emphasis on building intimate relationships more than recreational sex Core Belief: exclusivity of both an intimate and sexual nature is not a necessary precursor to love and commitment

Personality traits and styles

Openness to experience: - Appreciation for adventure, imagination, curiosity Conscientiousness: - Tendency to display self-discipline, strive for achievement, control impulses, regulate Extraversion: - Getting energy from external activity/situations, enjoying interacting with people, perceived as having high energy, assert themselves Agreeableness: - Concern for social harmony; tendency to want to get along with others, willing to compromise, Neuroticism: - Tendency to experience negative emotions (anxiety, anger, depression) - Low tolerance for stress or aversive stimuli

Arranged Marriages

Partners selected by parents or matchmakers Previously common all over the world Currently more common in eastern cultures (India, Japan and China) Declining since 19th/20th century "love emerges over time" Forced Arranged Marriage: - individuals are not consulted - individuals have no say before the marriage Consensual Arranged Marriage: - individuals are consulted (can refuse) - individuals may meet Lowest divorce rates in the world are noted to be in areas with the highest rate of arranged marriages Dispute about satisfaction in autonomous vs arranged marriages Problematic Aspect of Arranged Marriages: - There are differences in satisfaction, primarily tied to social status and class - For poor women - rates of communication on how to spend $ decrease over time - Sexual and Physical abuse/violence rate in India is high regardless of whether free or arranged - Upper class women are married later than lower class women

Attraction Processes among LGBTQ people

Physical attraction - as important as to heterosexuals Similarity - may not be as important (more interracial / interethnic relationships) May be smaller field of eligibles / smaller dating pool Propinquity may play less of a role In 2012 survey, 41% of same-sex couples reported meeting online vs. 17% of different-sex couples

What are the characteristics of a good relationship?

Positive communication: - John Gottman, PhD: ratio of positive to negative comments that emerge during an interaction = the strongest predictor of whether a relationship will succeed or fail Healthy Sexuality: - Partners who communicate about sex in general and during sex tend to be more sexually satisfied Self-expansion: - Humans have a need to "expand" or grow the self over time; this can be accomplished by engaging in activities that are exciting and novel and developing new relationships - Incorporating certain characteristics of the partner with ourselves

The Social Lives of Preschoolers

Preschool years: increased interactions with the world outside immediate family ~Age 3, children begin to develop real friendships Peers come to be seen as individuals with special qualities Relationships are based on companionship, play & entertainment Friendship is focused on the carrying out of shared activities (rather than just being in the same place at the same time). Older preschoolers see friendship as a continuing state, & as a stable relationship that has meaning beyond the immediate moment. Older preschoolers pay more attention to concepts such as trust, support, and shared interests. Even by age 3, children are interested in maintaining smooth social relationships with their friends, trying to avoid disagreements. Some children are more readily liked by their peers than others. Qualities associated with popularity: •being outgoing •being sociable •speaking more •smiling more •having a greater understanding of others' emotions Qualities associated with disliked children: • more likely to be aggressive •more disruptive •impose themselves on their peers •less cooperative •do not take turns

More on Motherly Love

Preservation of the child's life and growth Instilling in the child a love for living which gives him the feeling "it is good to be alive, it is good to be a little boy or girl, it is good to be on this earth!" "Milk and Honey" concept Narcissistic element of mother love - complete dependence Two people who are one separate (opposite of erotic love) Requires the ability to give everything and to want nothing but the happiness of the loved one

Serotonin

Primary neurotransmitter thought to be involved in mood and emotional stability Found throughout the body (90 percent in the gut, 10 percent in the central nervous system) Deficits of serotonin are associated with symptoms of anxiety, depression, and obsessive-compulsive disorder Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) such as Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, and Lexapro increase the amount of serotonin in the synapse (the space between nerve cells in the brain) Helen Fisher and others hypothesize that serotonin levels are decreased in a state of romantic love. This is why love can be thought of as an obsession. Fisher has controversial idea that SSRIs can inhibit falling in love. This is her opinion! (There's no scientific evidence for this.)

Dopamine

Principal neurotransmitter involved in reward circuitry It is a brain circuit that, when activated, reinforces behaviors. Drug addicts may satisfy their need for intimacy by manipulating the biochemistry of bonding and attachment Reward circuitry principally involves the mesolimbic pathway with involvement of the dopamine-containing neurons of the ventral tegmental area (VTA), the nucleus accumbens, caudate nucleus (of the striatum), and part of the prefrontal cortex Dopamine and Prairie Voles: Monogamous species. When a female is mated with a male, she forms a distinct preference for this partner associated with a 50% increase of dopamine in the nucleus accumbens. When a dopamine antagonist (blocker) is injected directly into the nucleus accumbens, females no longer have preference for this same partner. When a dopamine agonist (enhancer) is injected directly into the nucleus accumbens, she begins to prefer a specific male who is present at the time of the infusion, even if the female has not mated with this male. Dopamine & fMRI Studies: Funtional MRI (fMRI) Studies fMRI scans the brain to register blood flow changes in certain brain regions that are either increasing or decreasing their metabolic activity 2 studies with participants 7 months into a romantic relationship who reported being "truly deeply and madly in love" compared brain activation when looking at the beloved partner vs. when looking at a familiar friend. See heightened activation of caudate nucleus and ventral tegmental area (VTA) when in love Dopamine in Adolescence: - Dopamine = neurotransmitter that's important in the reward system; indicates salience (important in love) - Lower levels of dopamine at baseline in adolescence - In adolescence there is increased activity in neural circuits that release dopamine in response to novel stimuli

Neuroscience

The scientific study of the nervous system Interdisciplinary science that collaborates with other fields such as biology, chemistry, physics, computer science, engineering, linguistics, psychology, philosophy, and more...

Brain Remodeling

Pruning: - Neural connections gets whittled down - Process that can be intensified with stress - May reveal genetically or experientially vulnerable circuits - Most of the major psychiatric disorders—of thought, mood, and anxiety —have their major onset during this vulnerable period "use it or lose it" principle applies to adolescence Myelin formation: - Enables the remaining and connected neurons to communicate with each other with more coordination and speed. - Permits the action potential—the ions flowing in and out of the membrane creating a flow of charge down the long axonal length—to move one 100 times faster. - Resting time between firings, the refractory period, is 30 times quicker - Neural firing becomes 3000 times quicker with myelination - Practice lays down myelin to enable a skill

Emotions

Purpose of emotions? Motivators! They color our sensory world with vibrancy and meaning Can draw us toward compelling people and situations, repel us from others Mammals (share limbic system) can express emotional states; reptiles and other animals do not Emotionality is hardwired (e.g. some babies are criers, some easy to soothe) - Collects sensory information, filters it for emotional relevance, and sends outputs to other brain areas - Provides for greater flexibility of behavior

What is needed to practice an art?

Requirements for practicing any art (carpentry, medicine, music, theatre, painting, etc.) are: Discipline Concentration Patience Supreme concern for the mastery of the art

Oxytocin Levels and Relationships

Researchers compared oxytocin levels in new lovers and singles The increase in oxytocin during the period of falling in love was the highest that has ever been found Even more so than in mothers with new babies! (double the amount) Oxytocin was also correlated with the longevity of a relationship Couples with the highest levels were the ones still together six months later The high-oxytocin couples finished each other's sentences, laughed together and touched each other more often.

Investment model for commitment

Satisfaction: Subjective evaluation of the relationship Overall ratio of good things to bad things in a relationship Evaluate one's satisfaction relative to some comparison level (compared to satisfaction in past relationships; compared to friend's satisfaction in relationships) Quality of Alternatives: Perception of how desirable all other people in the dating pool currently are Comparison of alternatives Includes different relationship states with current partner (e.g. more desirable to be friends? FWB?) Investments: Both tangible (house, car, children, dog/cat, bank account) And intangible (memories, shared moments, time and effort spent)

Between Parent and Child

Self-help parenting book written by Haim Ginott in 1969 Never deny or ignore a child's feelings Only behavior is treated as unacceptable, not the child Depersonalize negative interactions by mentioning only the problem. "I see a messy room." Attach rules to things, e.g., "Little sisters are not for hitting." Dependence breeds hostility. Let children do for themselves what they can Children need to learn to choose, but within the safety of limits. "Would you like to wear this blue shirt or this red one?" Limit criticism to a specific event—don't say "never", "always", as in: "You never listen," "You always manage to spill things", etc. Refrain from using words that you would not want the child to repeat

Sigheh in Iran

Sigheh- a temporary marriage In the Islamic Republic of Iran, sex outside of marriage is a crime A man and a woman may contract a mut'a for a finite period of time—from minutes to 99 years or more Iran's Shiite clerics not only tolerate sigheh, but actively promote it as an important element of the country's official religion (a " sexual escape valve") Feminists criticize lopsided nature: It is largely the prerogative of wealthy married men, and the majority of women in sighehs are divorced, widowed, or poor. While women may have only one husband at a time, men may have four wives and are permitted unlimited temporary wives.

Singlism

Singlism is a new word which has recently emerged to describe unfair treatment of adults who are single. This can mean negative stereotyping of single people - the dominant attitude in society that 'partnered is good, single is bad' - or discrimination against singles in a variety of social and professional contexts.

The Triune Brain Model

Survival Brain - Reptilian - The "oldest brain" - Vital control centers: neurons that prompt breathing, swallowing, heartbeat, visual tracking, startle center - Reptiles do not have much of an emotional life: Displays of aggression and courtship, mating and territorial defense Emotional Brain - Limbic - Dr. Paul Broca - French surgeon & neuroanatomist published finding in 1879: All mammals share common structures in the brain: - He named them collectively as: "The Great Limbic Lobe" (aka le gran lobe limbique) - Center for advanced emotionality - Responsible for enhanced emotion and motivation, as well as enhanced learning and memory Thinking Brain - Neo-Cortex - The "newest" brain - Neocortex (neo = Greek for 'new' and cortex = Latin for 'rind' or 'bark') - Last and, in humans, the largest, of the "3 brains" - Neocortical size has grown substantially in mammals of recent origin; limbic brain has changed little in size - Human neocortex is 2 symmetrical sheets, each the size of large, thick linen napkins, each crumpled for better cramming into the skull - Area of the brain where abstraction (language: speaking, writing, reading), using symbolic representation, strategy, planning, reasoning, problem-solving all originate - Experience of senses, awareness, conscious motor control, "free will" all occur in the cortex Modulates feelings and integrates them with symbolic functions

Synapse

Synapse = space between neurons An active space Space that permits a neuron to pass an electrical or chemical signal to another cell Each individual neuron can form thousands of links with other neurons, giving a typical brain well over 100 trillion synapses (up to 1,000 trillion, by some estimates).

Introducing: Helen Fisher

THE SEX DRIVE (libido or lust) THE ATTRACTION SYSTEM (in humans termed "romantic love", "passionate love," "obsessive love," "limerence" or "infatuation") THE ATTACHMENT SYSTEM (termed "companionate love" in humans)

What is Erotic Intelligence?

The ability of a couple to reinvent themselves on location and to create a new relational arrangement with each other Need to change in order to stay alive Novelty is needed Novelty is not about new positions Novelty is new experiences of yourself in the world and of your partner in relationship to you in the world That involves taking risks and having an active engagement with the unknown Creates a sense of purpose, aliveness, joy, transmission.

Brain

The average human brain has about 100 billion neurons (or nerve cells) and many more neuroglia (or glial cells) which serve to support and protect the neurons.

Neurobiology

The biology of the nervous system

Interpersonal Neurobiology

The brain is a social organ of adaptation built through interactions with others Love as a nutrient: interpersonal experiences drive brain growth! There are no single human brains - brains only exist within networks of other brains The bidirectional flow between neural structure and social experience requires a continual shift in focus from the brain to social behavior and back again to the brain The brain is a neuroplastic organ! The biology of the brain is changed by experiences and relationships throughout the life cycle

Endorphins (endogenous opioids)

These are chemicals made in the brain that resemble opioid drugs such as Heroin, Morphine, Oxycontin, Percocet, and Vicodin. The "natural" purpose of the opioid receptors in the brain are for endogenous opioids that help to regulate emotional and physical pain along with pleasure, attachment, and sexuality. Research with primates suggests that the activation of the opioid systems of the mother and child propels the attachment process When primates come together for contact, grooming, or play, endorphin levels increase in both parent and child Experiments with guinea pigs and rats show that when babies are separated from their mothers they cry or give distress calls that cease upon administration of morphine and increase upon administration of naltrexone (opiate blocker)

Brain Systems

Three distinct brain systems for courtship, mating, reproduction, and parenting that have evolved in mammalian species: ◦The Sex Drive: - Characterized by a craving for sexual gratification - Evolved to motivate individuals to seek sexual union ◦Attraction: - Characterized by focused attention on a preferred partner, heightened energy, motivation, and goal-oriented courtship behaviors - Evolved to motivate individuals to prefer particular mating partners, thereby making mate choice ◦Attachment: - Characterized by expressions of calm when in social contact with a mating partner and separation anxiety when apart - Also associated with parental behaviors such as territory defense, nest building, mutual feeding, grooming, and other parenting chores - Adult male-female attachment evolved primarily to motivate individuals to sustain affiliative connections long enough to complete species-specific parenting duties.

Oxytocin and Vasopressin

Vasopressin Neurochemical produced in the hypothalamus that works in conjunction with oxytocin. Role in human bonding and attachment is less clear Oxytocin and Vasopressin - In prairie vole studies: Increased oxytocin leads to increased pair bonding in females Increased vasopressin leads to increased pair bonding in males

Friendships

What does the fox mean by "tame"? Means "to make friends" or "to establish a relationship." According to the fox, unless you build a relationship with a person and get to really understand him or her, that person will remain indistinguishable for you from the hundreds of thousands of people in the world—and you, too, will not be "unique" or special to him or her. Friendships take patience, time, and effort.

Love Languages

Words of Affirmation: Expressing affection through spoken affection, praise, or appreciation. Acts of Service: Actions, rather than words, are used to show and receive love. Gifts: Gifting is symbolic of love and affection. Quality Time: Expressing affection with undivided, undistracted attention. Physical Touch: It can be sex or holding hands. With this love language, the speaker feels affection through physical touch.

Impact of Loving Relationships on the Common Cold

•276 healthy volunteers were exposed to nasal drops containing rhinovirus until the participants shed virus •Participants were asked about 12 types of loving relationships: romantic partners, parents, children, friends, social groups, etc. •Scored on the number of connections they had. Participants with fewer social connections developed cold symptoms at a rate 4 times greater than those with many social connections

Impact of Loving Relationships on Ulcers

•8,500 men participated; no prior history of ulcers or symptoms of ulcers •Followed prospectively •After 5 years, 254 developed ulcers •Participants who answered "my wife does not love me" had 3 times as many ulcers as those who said their wives showed love and support •This factor was more strongly associated with developing ulcers than smoking, age, blood pressure, BMI, and job stress

The Adverse Childhood Experiences Study

•Original study was conducted by Dr. Vince Felitti at Kaiser Permanente and Dr. Bob Anda at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention from 1995-1997 •17,000+ adults were asked about their history of exposure to what they called "adverse childhood experiences," or "ACEs" •ACEs are incredibly common •vastly more common than recognized or acknowledged •67% of the population had at least 1 ACE •12.6% had an ACEs score of 4 or more •22% of participants were sexually abused as children •66% of the women experienced abuse, violence or family strife in childhood •There's a dose-response relationship between ACEs and health outcomes (the higher your ACE score, the worse your health outcomes) •ACE score of 4 or higher: relative risk of chronic obstructive pulmonary disease was 2 ½ times that of someone with an ACE score of 0. •For hepatitis: it was also 2 ½ times higher. •For depression: it was 4 ½ times higher. •For suicidality: it was 12 times higher. •A person with an ACE score of 7 or higher: •3 times the lifetime risk of lung cancer •3 ½ times the risk of ischemic heart disease •ACEs have a powerful relation to adult health and behaviors