On Course- Chapter 6: Gaining Self-Awareness

The first part of our scripts

Closest to the surface of our awareness reside the directions for how we are to think, feel, and behave.

Rule 2: I do my best work

Commit to doing your best work on all assignments, including turning them in on time.

Rule 3: I participate actively

Commit to getting involved. Come to class prepared. Listen attentively. Take notes. Read ahead. Think deeply about what's being said. Ask questions. Answer questions.

Anatomy of a script

Composed of two parts; the top layer and the deep layer

Second part of our scripts

Deeper in our unconscious mind lies our core beliefs. Early in life, we form court believes about the world, about other people, and about ourselves.

Scripts

Describes our unconscious internal forces and was coined by psychologist Eric Berne

First Lady Eleanor Roosevelt's life rules she created to guide her choices:

Do whatever comes your way as well as you can. Think as little as possible about yourself; think as much as possible about other people. Since you get more joy out of giving joy to others, you should put a good deal of thought in the happiness that you are able to give.

What unconscious inner forces have been called

Ego defenses, conditioned responses, programs, mental tapes, blind spots, schemas, and life-traps.

Factors that suggest how we write our scripts

How others responded to us, what significant adults said to us, and observing the behavior of significant adults

Three Success Rules

I show up, I do my best work, and I participate actively

Behavior patterns

Include habitual actions such as smoking cigarettes, criticizing others, arriving on time, never asking for help, and exercising regularly

Emotional patterns

Include habitual feelings such as anger, excitement, anxiety, sadness, and joy

Thought patterns

Include habitual self talk such as I'm too busy, I'm good at math, people different from me are a threat, I always screw up.

A psychological script

Is a person's ongoing program for his life drama which dictates where he's going with his life and how he is to get there.

The key to your success

Is being aware of which choice leads to the future you want.

At Baltimore City Community College, a study found that

On average, as absences went up, grades went down.

A study by a business professor at Arizona State University showed that

On average, his students' grades went down one full grade for every two classes they missed.

Rule 1: I show up

Studies show a direct correlation between attendance and grades. How can you be successful at something if you're not there?

Psychologist Virginia Satir pointed out

That we are all living by rules, but the important issue is "have we chosen our own rules?"

One of the great discoveries about the human condition is this:

We are not stuck with their personal scripts or cultural programming. We can re-create ourselves.

Self-esteem shrivels

When we feel like mere passengers in life, with no apparent choice in where we're going

Self-esteem grows

When we feel like the pilots of our lives, with the power to choose wisely and reach our goals and dreams

injunctions

a term for the qualities that tell us what we "are not" or "should not be". They commonly include things like: don't be yourself, don't talk back, don't feel, don't think, don't be intimate, don't say no, don't say yes, don't get angry, don't trust others that are different than you, don't love yourself, don't be happy, or don't be weak.

Self-sabotage

behavior that creates problems and interferes with longstanding goals

Dr. Wilder Penfield of the Montreal Neurological Institute

found evidence that our brains may retain nearly every experience we have ever had. Performed brain surgery on patients who had local anesthesia but were otherwise fully awake.

One of the most important discoveries in pyschology

is the existence and power of unconscious forces in our lives

Successful Students

recognize when they are off course; identify their self-defeating pattarns of thought, emotion, and behavior; and rewrite their outdated scripts.

Research by neuroscientist Joseph LeDoux

suggests that a part of our brains called the amygdala stores emotionally charged but now unconscious memories.

Struggling Students

wander through life unaware of being off course; remain unaware of their self-defeating pattarns of thought, emotion, and behavior; and unconsciously persist in making choices based on outdated scripts.