Primary Greatness by Stephen Covey (Concepts)

How does having integrity help you achieve your goals?

"State of being whole and undivided". They have no ulterior motives. Having integrity is necessary to adopting the other principles; it is the state of having these values, essentially.

What are the 5 points to taking responsibility of conflicts?

-we should be able to admit to ourselves that we have some part in this mess (somewhere!) -when people are deeply hurt or embarrassed they draw back -we can't improve our behavior alone, they can't afford to trust us -usually only way back is to apologize and ask for forgiveness (full!) -asking for forgiveness also inspires others to make hard admissions

What are the ways you can get out of "mental prisons"/beliefs that prevent you from following principles?

1. Acknowledge your failings and seek forgiveness. Do this when you've insulted someone, etc. 2. Learn to confront issues and either leave the job or make needed changes and love it. Do this when you are stuck in a situation. 3. Think of success as being abundant. This means to share success rather than try and hoard it for yourself when taking credit, etc. You may take on a project at work alone because you don't want to share credit, but you won't do as good of a job! 4. To fix role imbalances in your life... a. Accept that in the short term there may be imbalances towards certain aspects of your life. A few years in school may leave less time for family. b. Involve people in your meaningful work. If you get family involved in the significance of work, they will feel less neglected. They may feel inspired! c. Share a common vision of the desired end result. If everyone has a shared vision or purpose, there will be less petty concerns about being on time etc. d. develop a complementary team to balance strengths and weaknesses e. preserve time for dearest people and causes f. make what someone else cares about as important as how much you care for that person. Let them write the agenda and schedule.

What are the three roles of learning (relating to teaching)? What is the meaning of it?

1. Capturing or understanding essential information 2 Expanding or applying this knowledge into his own life for his purposes and values 3. teaching others for their benefit and growth. Teaching others reinforces what you've learned!

What are the "new sources of power" to be good leaders (4) (in the sacrifice chapter

1. Employ self awareness, imagination, independent will, and conscience. Challenge paradigms that don't 2. spend more time doing important but not necessarily urgent things. (emails=urgent, creating a vision, betting yourself=important) 3. Continuously improve yourself. 4. have network of win-win relationships and partnerships -"abundance thinking", cooperation, interdependency

What are the 3 types of distortions that may cause us to incorrectly think we are following principles ?

1. General culture distorts our views. Culture may cause of to think that activities that go against principles are acceptable and sustainable. 2. Subgroups such as family can distort our views. 3. Powerful emotions or personalities can distort our vies

What are the 4 "fruits" of integrity?

1. Wisdom. If your security comes from within, you have better judgement. You have an overall better life balance. You're not in an overreactive state. 2. Abundance mentality. You see life as an ever increasing source of opportunity, you'll be more willing to work with others and share credit. 3. Synergy. When you're not concerned about what others think of you, you'll be more willing to share ideas with courage and consideration. 4. Having relationships with all stakeholders. You need integrity for people to trust you. Relationships are integral for accomplishing tasks.

How is the information age detrimental to the principles if you're not careful? (wisdom)

Acting on information without filtering it through the principles with wisdom , a clear mission statement and goals.

Explain the discrepancy between the value people place on their performance or what management puts on it and market value?

All parties are usually self justified and morally invested in that justification. The market is more objective, so its better to rely on that to solve any disputes. (im a bit confused as to how the market value is evaluated doesn't seem to be as simple as looking up other professionals)

Why should you be careful as you become more intelligent? (wisdom

As you become more intelligent you may over rely on your intellect rather than the principles. You won't interpret information as well without the principles.

How do you make the leap from self obsession to contribution? What are things that often stop people from doing so?

Ask yourself what legacy you will leave, what will your contribution be. Why they don't: -politically sensitive issues. Politicians often put them off because it will upset the status quo. -problem is chronic but doesn't have acute symptoms. why bother fixing it now? -no near term payoff. you could get golden eggs now, goose may die later. -you've worked hard to get here, let someone else do the work. The problem with doing this is that you know you never paid the price of success.

How can you practice/apply priority?

Ask yourself what the burning yes is in your life. What do you need to say no to for this to get done? We can't deal with people as we deal with things. Have you been treated as a thing? How did it make you feel? How have you treated others as a thing and how did it effect the relationship. Set aside time to prioritize important things and not urgent things.

How do you emphasize priority (priority principle)?

Ask yourself what the first things are in your life: What are you good at? What can I do that nobody else can? Ex: who else can be father to my kid, teacher to my students? Subordinate the clock to the compass -the clock symbolizes efficiency, but it should come after the compass which provides purpose, vision, perspective and balance. To focus on compass, focus on priorities rather than schedule. Clock tells you that a meeting is coming up not if it is important to go to. Keep first things first -keep promises to others and it will give you confidence to keep promises to yourself. It's okay to slip up on yourself, just keep on track. Subordinate your schedule to your conscience (the commitment to higher principles and values) Surgeon wouldn't pick up the phone in the middle of surgery. Have a burning Yes -make it easier to say no to certain tasks when you have something else very important to do "burning yes" The enemy of the best is often the good

What are some applications/practice for teaching?

Ask yourself when you have the opportunity to teach at home and at work? make a plan to teach someone something within one week. How did it go? How can you increase your opportunities for teaching to learn? How would it affect your own commitment to living by these principles?

What are some applications/practice for integrity?

Ask yourself: what does it mean to be a person of integrity? Choose one area and improve it, how does it feel? In what areas of your life are you an example of humility and courage. What example of where you could improve?

What are some applications/practice to be sure that you are continuously following principles in general?

Ask yourself: what is a source of distraction and distortion in your life? How can you overcome this to get back to your principles? What principle could you make better use of? Ask your family and company what is our purpose or our mission, and what might be our main strategy for achieving it?

How does the principle of service help achieve goals?

Asking yourself what you can do for others helps you to get past your ego.

How do you make the leap from self obsession to contribution? What are things that often stop people from doing so? What are some applications/practice to help understand contribution?

Become an artistic leader/follower (asking what the world needs, organization, you) ask yourself: What does the world need from you , good at, how can you best do what you like to do and meet real world needs? What legacy do you want to leave in your personal and professional life? what do you want people to say about you after you leave your current job? Friends and family 10 years from now?

What are some applications/practice to help understand contribution?

Become an artistic leader/follower (asking what the world needs, organization, you) ask yourself: What does the world need from you , good at, how can you best do what you like to do and meet real world needs? What legacy do you want to leave in your personal and professional life? what do you want people to say about you after you leave your current job? Friends and family 10 years from now?

Character v Competence. Which is more important and why?

Both are important but in the long run character is more important because you can't make sustaining connections by just getting the task done... People get tired of being manipulated to get a relationship just from/because of the task.

What are the two primary traits of integrity?

Courage to do what is right and humility to admit when we aren't. If you don't have either one, you don't have integrity because security relies outside of yourself in situations. You are only as secure as o the degree that you compare/compete favorably with others. If you don't have humility won't be able to bond with people

How do people redesign themselves to improve their contribution to society?

Find their sense of what their values are/personal mission statement that is based on principles and what is needed in organization. Otherwise they will be reactive and will blame others for their lack of preparedness Willing to bear risk in the following ways: -how they speak (courage and consideration) -how they listen (empathy, even though it may disrupt their worldview) -way they act (creative, teaching, leaving comfort zone. They've got to add value for each assignment and document how they've contributed). Keep commitment of lifetime learning -accept responsibility for upgrades in skills and knowledge. -Arts are important too because they increase the capacity to continue learning

What are some ways you can apply/practice reprogramming/ getting over mental prisons?

Have you felt trapped or imprisoned? What keeps you from escaping and what is the source? Have you been improperly labeled? How did that control actions? Have you done this to someone else? Take one step today to correct those labels. Are you an abundance thinker? (Do you want to share credit?) Find one opportunity to share credit. How does it feel? Start doing more leadership work, stop managing so much.

How does having priorities help achieve your goals?

Helps you make contributions without losing your path/losing productivity.

How do you achieve a people based paradigm? 3

Hire: evaluate people on how they treat others during the vetting process Train : teamwork training exercises with tight deadlines and difficult tasks can flesh out people who are task oriented (don't treat people as well) and relationship oriented (those that can't do the task but are good with people. Help people identify their mistakes Cultivate: Make the culture respectful. Open communication between management and workers leads to greater relationships between customers and company because people treat others as they are treated. Ex: Pregnant woman was having trouble with bags on plane, flight attendants didn't help. They probably weren't helped by management either. Learn to follow the principles to have your own integrity. This helps us be the change we want to see when others are part of the undesirable culture.

How does reciprocity help achieve your goals?

If you treat someone well they will treat you well. If you treat them poorly they will treat you poorly. Remember this in daily actions.

What are the 12 "highest leverage" principles that successful people live by? What does the author mean by the metaphor lever/leverage?

Integrity, Contribution, Priority, Personal Sacrifice, service, responsibility, loyalty, reciprocity, diversity, continuous learning, renewal, teaching to learn. The levers to success are these principles. The principles provide leverage against "bad" qualities to achieve your goals/priorities.

What is the sharpening the saw analogy mean?

It refers to when a lumberjack is sawing down a tree, he has to sharpen his saw occasionally to do his job better (rest, recreate, study, prepare, reflect, rethink, retool revitalize, new tech)

How does diversity help achieve your goals?

Learning how to use people's strengths and working together helps everyone succeed. People's perspectives are useful; you can learn from them.

Why do corporate/university ethics programs often fail? What could they do to improve?

More concern about image than creating a culture of principle. Often leaders encourage culture "ends justify the means" . Employees see issues through departmental lense rather than having perspectives governed by the principles. You have to build the culture from the beginning through the lens of principles. Leaders should be open and exact in their observance of ethical codes to inspire others to do the same. Involve employees in the creation of code of ethics, review it regularly.

What does sacrifice have to do with relationships? What personality trait often needs to be sacrificed? How does this lead to reducing hidden agendas? Why should enterprises sacrifice for their competitors/work together? How is South Africa an example of the necessity of sacrifice to succeed?

People have to give to others in order to receive. It's a bonding experience. Pride/ego often needs to be sacrificed to allow humility to ensure mutual respect and trust. Hidden agendas would be expulsed because their ego→ whatever is being hidden, must be sacrificed. Synergy would increase. He used a good analogy concerning a jigsaw puzzle: people may complete their section well but it won't fit with the rest of the team unless everyone works together and is on the same page. Business should work together to raise industry standards to ensure that customers are served. Nelson Mandela sacrificed a portion of his life in jail. He was humbled by the experience and was willing to work with the government. The President of S. Africa, de Klerk, realized he needed to step down and make a better constitution that respected human rights.

Describe the meaning to " I don't care about how much you know until I know how much you care" and how the "personal touch" is important

People like feeling that they are valued. A people centered paradigm in lieu of things correlates to organization members treating those that they interact with (customers) with resp

How does loyalty help achieve your goals?

People need a reason to trust you. By serving others as a loyal friend, you earn their trust and build a lasting relationship.

What are the 4 assumptions relating to the 4 parts of human nature (relating to the lever of renewal) : Physical, mental, social, spiritual (1 each)

Physical: Assume that you should live your life carefully and wisely. Good exercise program and nutrition. Assume that you have recently had a heart attack, and that you have a second chance on life. Mental Assumption: Get into systematic study and reading. Assume that your knowledge will be obsolete within 3 years. (he says this is actually true). He recommends that you read periodicals outside of your field that will challenge your thinking: perhaps 4 a month. Examine the changing assumptions that and paradigms in your field to see what will happen next. Social: Imagine that everything you say about other people will be heard by them. Your criticism will be far more responsible and constructive. Spiritual assumption: "What have you done with what you've had to work with"? You would imagine meeting with your boss or family members and they'd talk about how well you've lived your life.

What are the advantages of following the 4 assumptions (physical mental social spiriturual) relating to renewal?

Physical: being healthier extends your life and improves the quality of life. Many healthy seniors do their best work later in life. Mental: prepares you for future opportunities. Social: gain more empathy and synergy in your social and professional relationships. Seek to understand first. Gain the courage to be understood by others. Spiritual: acting as though your life could end at any moment will encourage you to make the right choice in the moment of choice. You gain inner peace by doing this.

What are the difference between values and principles?*

Principles are natural laws while values are not universal. Values could be distorted by other influences, but principles are: Universal Timeless---> doesn't change in face of new tech, etc. Self Evident--> arguing it would be futile. Example: can't produce trust without trustworthiness. I still don't see how these things aren't considered values and that they can't be evaluated as such.

What are the two sides of leadership? (contribution) Why don't people achieve the first victory, second victory?

Private victory: transform yourself/habits to follow the principles. Many don't achieve private victory because: -blame others/environment for their lives -few pay the price/take time to develop a defined personal mission , philosophy or creed. -many who have a mission statement don't pursue because they have to get out of their comfort zone. -don't have the mindset or skills for it. Paradigm of lifelong learning not embedded in culture. Public victory: to get others to join you in a quest for shared vision. People often fail here because: -they don't have shared security with partner (want to move to sea but they are stuck in harbor) -haven't learned to delegate→ may not want to cede control -don't involve people in creating supportive environment.

How do you capture learning (relating to principle of teaching)?

Purpose: figure out the significant purpose of the teacher or presenter. You can organize your mind and notes in this way. Main points: what are the main points of the central messages Validation: what evidence was presented. How did the person validate his or her points. Application: how can these points be allied to life? Value: how much value did the teacher put on this learning?

What are the 6 safeguards to protect creative freedom ( ability to pursue your own goals)

Say no: neglect what is urgent but not important. -top executives spend 60% of their time doing important things: mission statements, relationship building, creation, empowerment' Keep the burning yes in mind -having things that you want to do makes it easier to say no Earn the confidence of your boss in your creative thinking abilities -if your boss is restricting you from thinking creatively and doing important things: do what your boss asks and do It well. give him the idea that you can do more. what your boss prioritizes should be your priority because it the relationship is important to you. Balance creativity with consideration for others -people view you favorably if you express your opinions courageously Operate in a highly independent and interdependent mode -be able to do your things, but also form a team that complements your strengths and covers your weaknesses. Think outside of the box from different perspectives. Think creatively without critically. Logically without optimistically. An example overall: kid on football team didn't get stressed when weather changed because he envisioned victory and how to achieve that rather than how to solve weather as being a problem. Creativity is hard to measure so it's not taught much in school. Invite people into buying into a shared purpose.

What are the 4 "human endowments" that separate us from the rest of the human kingdom? How do you nurture each of them and how does each endowment help us in our quest?

Self awareness: helps us to examine our paradigms and become aware of the script of life that may have been written for us. If you're aware, you can change. Keeping a journal can help you realize what's going on and when, and perhaps why. Conscience:

How do you choose your secret life? What is the main technique and the 5 characteristics to make the technique work well? make an example of an affirmation sentence/paragraph that includes the 5 characteristics How do you apply the technique? 3

Self- affirmation, or asserting to yourself that a message is true. For a self affirmation to be good, it should be: Positive (what's good/right) Personal (first person) Present tense (you're doing it now or have the potential to do it) Visual (you can imagine it) Emotional An example: A procrastinator: It makes me (personal) feel good (positive) to hand my essay to the teacher (visual, present). It matters that I learn the most I can by managing my time (emotional). 1. You can apply the technique by thinking a bit about your motivations and planting ideas when you are relaxed. Your mind is more malleable here. Do this when you're about to go to bed or get up. Having trouble relaxing? Close your eyes and imagine your muscles growing weak and limp, you will eventually do so too. 2. Repetition. You have to overwrite the the scripts that were written for you by others. Say it, feel it, make it part of you. Think about it whenever you can. 3. Imagination and visualization: Imagine what can be instead of what has been defined by past experiences. Example: the moment that you finally receive your diploma. How do you feel as you shake the President's hand? Think about the future in detail, not the past. Just take the lesson from the past... Not the visualization. Others: write this down: -what ways have you been chasing secondary greatness rather than primary greatness? What do I believe is right? What are my deepest moral convictions? What should I do with my life? What down what you discover about yourself. Write down the affirmation script that you normally follow. Then edit it with the 5 characteristics in mind.

Why is teaching to learn important for success?

Showing others these principles actively (not just as an example) will help others to develop success, and perhaps challenge you to grow. Successful people help others rise up!

How does contribution help achieve your goals?

The desire to leave a positive difference helps to guide your actions.

Why should systems be as open as possible within the limits of trust?

The higher the level of trust the more open you can be. If people are suspicious and you decide to be open, they will think your openness is a ploy.

Character: For maturity to be achieved, why does there have to be a balance between courage and consideration? What is the Win-Win ?

Too much courage/too little consideration for your own ideas you will put off others. Too little courage/too much consideration means that you won't be able to stick up for your own convictions. Win-Win concept: you have high drive to succeed (yourself, courage) but you also want others to succeed too (consideration). -the high ambitions of team members and their adoption of other members' ideas makes an effective team.

How do we often judge ourselves compared to how we judge others (integrity chapter)?

WE judge others by their actions and judge ourselves by our intentions.

How do the principles of self renewal and continuous learning help achieve our goals?

We become irrelevant if we don't adapt to changing times and consider new perspectives that weren't available. Truth is hard to find... Don't get complacent, spend time with loved ones and challenge yourself by exercising, learning, etc.

How can we "reprogram" ourselves to be able to begin using the principles? Hint: a bad event happens... how do you respond? What momentum can you set?

We have to be humbled not getting results or the fulfillment that we want from others. -then we are more willing to accept that the principles are key. Author traces his values back to where he didn't follow principle. Once you're humbled, you can make a small step to break the habit. --> control appetite---> control passions---> control motivations Other often says that once he breaks one principle he breaks others. He has to remain disciplined. Comprehensive actions: develop personal mission statement based on version of your life etc. -when talking to others consider your balance b/t courage and consideration -how are you balancing productivity with your productivity capacity? (stuff getting done vs learning more) -what steps can you take to break free of emotional/physical addictions?

What are some ways you can practice/apply renewal?

What would you change if you had a heart attack? What would you do if you knew your knowledge would become obsolete in a few years? How would your conversation style change if you knew everyone could hear you? How would you answer the question, "What have you done with what you've had to work with?" What are the best ways to sharpen the saw (rest recreate, study, prepare, reflect, rethink, retool, revitalize ) How can you make these into daily, weekly priorities? Set aside some time.

What is a mental-emotional prison? What principle is this tied to?

When someone can't trust you after a conflict. You have to apologize fully in order for the person to trust you again. If you only change your actions without apologizing they will still be behind their "walls" and will be skeptical. This is tied to responsibility.

How does the principle of responsibility help achieve your goals?

When things don't work out so well, taking responsibility helps those hurt by the problem and ensures that you learn from your mistakes. Holds you to higher standard.

What are the 4 tenets of wisdom?

Wisdom is knowing that sustained positive change comes from the inside. Individual change comes before organizational change. Wisdom requires both competence and character -one's character is constantly radiating and communicating. What people see from that is whether or not to trust us. Character is composed of integrity, maturity and abundance thinking. These things help bring about technical, conceptual and social competence. WE can also use this to develop interdependency to think about the things we want to bring out. Wisdom comes from the overlap of character and competency. Your ability to perform tasks with the principles in mind will help your organization thrive.

What are the advantages of teaching to learn?

You learn better when you teach. When you're the teacher, you take more responsibility for learning it. When you teach something you feel about, you increase the likelihood of living by it. -makes you accountable for learning. Creates a social expectation. You become more credible , inspiring, motivating, You promote bonding in the relationship. Good teachers get a lot of respect from their students and the teachers like the students that are very interested. Makes changes faster. Be sure to teach when: 1. People are not threatened→ otherwise that would just create resentment. 2. You're not angry or frustrated (you'll come off bad) 3. When the other person needs help and support (but not when they are depressed because that creates a lot of pressure)

Should you filter ideas and actions through mortality or immortality (wisdom)

You should filter them through mortality. Asking yourself what is my life and work all about? what is really important here? what is my real worth?

What are the two primary traits of integrity? What does integrity mean?

Your life is integrated around principles and that your security comes from within. Also could mean maintaining the highest kevels of honesty and credibility in all relationships. If your security comes from outside from others you don't have integrity. 57

What is your "secret" life and how does it influence your public and private life (and what are these)? Can you choose your secret life?

Your secret life is your inner thoughts, emotions and motivation. This affects your decisions with your intimate life (family, spouse close friends) and with friends and acquaintances (public life). You can indeed shape your secret life by examining your motives. Techniques will be described on other cards.