Talk to Me Like I'm Someone You Love

All I am feeling right now is your "position". I need you to come back so I can relate to you...not your position.

All I am feeling right now is your "position". I need you to come back so I can relate to you...not your position.

All I want is for you to listen to me with an open heart.

All I want is for you to listen to me with an open heart.

Are you in the space to talk?

Are you in the space to talk?

As long as we see ourselves as victims, we will allow ourselves to victimize each other.

As long as we see ourselves as victims, we will allow ourselves to victimize each other.

Do you hate me?

Do you hate me?

Even though I've been arguing my position like a crazy person, I now see where your point of view makes sense.

Even though I've been arguing my position like a crazy person, I now see where your point of view makes sense.

I am upset. This doesn't mean that you are a bad person....It means that if you could just listen, I would feel incredibly loved.

I am upset. This doesn't mean that you are a bad person....It means that if you could just listen, I would feel incredibly loved.

I am your friend. It's painful seeing how quickly I can become your enemy.

I am your friend. It's painful seeing how quickly I can become your enemy.

I beg you to hear this as me truly wanting you to register my feelings--NOT as an attack on you.

I beg you to hear this as me truly wanting you to register my feelings--NOT as an attack on you.

I can absolutely see why you'd be annoyed with me, but can you give me some sign that you still love me?

I can absolutely see why you'd be annoyed with me, but can you give me some sign that you still love me?

I can see how upset you are, and I feel terrible.

I can see how upset you are, and I feel terrible.

I can see that I've missed the point. Please give me another chance.

I can see that I've missed the point. Please give me another chance.

I can see that my anger has been destructive and that I've really hurt you.

I can see that my anger has been destructive and that I've really hurt you.

I don't feel heard.

I don't feel heard.

I don't need you to see this exactly as I do. But I do need you to hear where I'm coming from.

I don't need you to see this exactly as I do. But I do need you to hear where I'm coming from.

I feel embarrassed about how I spoke to you.

I feel embarrassed about how I spoke to you.

I feel like a total and complete idiot.

I feel like a total and complete idiot.

I feel really crummy about what happened. Could we just make up?

I feel really crummy about what happened. Could we just make up?

I forgive you completely. It never happened.

I forgive you completely. It never happened.

I hate feeling that I have to walk on eggshells around you.

I hate feeling that I have to walk on eggshells around you.

I have no idea what to do right now except to tell you that I am in a lot of pain. I know you are, too, and I want it to be friendlier between us.

I have no idea what to do right now except to tell you that I am in a lot of pain. I know you are, too, and I want it to be friendlier between us.

I know I haven't made it very safe for you. Please don't give up on me.

I know I haven't made it very safe for you. Please don't give up on me.

I know I sounded extremely angry, but I was feeling more threatened than you could possibly have known.

I know I sounded extremely angry, but I was feeling more threatened than you could possibly have known.

I know I sounded like a maniac, but my love for you is still and deep.

I know I sounded like a maniac, but my love for you is still and deep.

I know I'm being defensive. Can you say this in a less charged way so I can feel safe with you?

I know I'm being defensive. Can you say this in a less charged way so I can feel safe with you?

I know I'm pretty shut down right now......I promise I'll be back.

I know I'm pretty shut down right now......I promise I'll be back.

I know I've been relentless. I can understand why you'd want to get away from me.

I know I've been relentless. I can understand why you'd want to get away from me.

I know I've really hurt you. What can I do that would help you trust me again?

I know I've really hurt you. What can I do that would help you trust me again?

I know what I said was hurtful. I truly didn't mean it and would do anything to take it back.

I know what I said was hurtful. I truly didn't mean it and would do anything to take it back.

I know you are feeling nagged, but please stay. When you walk away from me, I feel discarded.

I know you are feeling nagged, but please stay. When you walk away from me, I feel discarded.

I know you want to repair this, but right now I just need to be in my own space. Please try not to take this personally. I love you.

I know you want to repair this, but right now I just need to be in my own space. Please try not to take this personally. I love you.

I love you and can't stand seeing you so unhappy.

I love you and can't stand seeing you so unhappy.

I love you. And despite how it looks, I don't want our relationship to be a fight.

I love you. And despite how it looks, I don't want our relationship to be a fight.

I love you. I hate fighting. Can't we just hug?

I love you. I hate fighting. Can't we just hug?

I realize I'm overreacting. Can you give me a minute to get sane again?

I realize I'm overreacting. Can you give me a minute to get sane again?

I think I'm supposed to know how to do this, but honestly, I have no idea.

I think I'm supposed to know how to do this, but honestly, I have no idea.

I treasure you.

I treasure you.

I want to hug you, and I'm not sure I am welcome. May I come closer?

I want to hug you, and I'm not sure I am welcome. May I come closer?

I want us to stop what we are doing to each other. Both of us. Now. I'll stop first.

I want us to stop what we are doing to each other. Both of us. Now. I'll stop first.

I was just reacting as if you were my father, and I know that you are not.

I was just reacting as if you were my father, and I know that you are not.

I was just reacting as if you were my mother, and I know that you are not.

I was just reacting as if you were my mother, and I know that you are not.

I was making a big deal out of something that just isn't that important. I want to let it go.

I was making a big deal out of something that just isn't that important. I want to let it go.

I would love it if we could just be quiet and hold each other.

I would love it if we could just be quiet and hold each other.

I'm afraid that if I say I'm sorry, you'll make everything my fault.

I'm afraid that if I say I'm sorry, you'll make everything my fault.

I'm afraid to be real with you.

I'm afraid to be real with you.

I'm already feeling awful. Do you really think I haven't heard you?

I'm already feeling awful. Do you really think I haven't heard you?

I'm confused about what's going on between us, and I need a little time to sort this out. Is that okay with you? I won't go away for too long.

I'm confused about what's going on between us, and I need a little time to sort this out. Is that okay with you? I won't go away for too long.

I'm embarrassed to say that I don't even remember what I'm arguing with you about.

I'm embarrassed to say that I don't even remember what I'm arguing with you about.

I'm feeling very scared of you right now.

I'm feeling very scared of you right now.

I'm going to trust you by letting this issue go and not bringing it up again, knowing that even though you've just communicated a closed-ness to my perspective, you really do listen.

I'm going to trust you by letting this issue go and not bringing it up again, knowing that even though you've just communicated a closed-ness to my perspective, you really do listen.

I'm in knots. I'm afraid to tell you my truth, and it's a horrible feeling that I have to humor you.

I'm in knots. I'm afraid to tell you my truth, and it's a horrible feeling that I have to humor you.

I'm not __________________, who hurt you in the past. I am ME, who loves you now.

I'm not __________________, who hurt you in the past. I am ME, who loves you now.

I'm not __________________, who left you in the past. I am ME, who isn't going anywhere without you.

I'm not __________________, who left you in the past. I am ME, who isn't going anywhere without you.

I'm probably [sounding, looking, carrying on] like your father right now, and I can appreciate how [frightening, disturbing, annoying] that must be for you.

I'm probably [sounding, looking, carrying on] like your father right now, and I can appreciate how [frightening, disturbing, annoying] that must be for you.

I'm probably [sounding, looking, carrying on] like your mother right now, and I can appreciate how [frightening, disturbing, annoying] that must be for you.

I'm probably [sounding, looking, carrying on] like your mother right now, and I can appreciate how [frightening, disturbing, annoying] that must be for you.

I'm probably acting like _______________ right now, and I can appreciate how disturbing that might be for you.

I'm probably acting like _______________ right now, and I can appreciate how disturbing that might be for you.

I'm probably sounding like a parent right now, and I can appreciate that it's a turnoff.

I'm probably sounding like a parent right now, and I can appreciate that it's a turnoff.

I'm sorry I acted as if there was only my reality.

I'm sorry I acted as if there was only my reality.

I'm sorry I couldn't hear you sooner.

I'm sorry I couldn't hear you sooner.

I'm sorry I made such a big deal out of something so unimportant.

I'm sorry I made such a big deal out of something so unimportant.

I'm sorry that I've been acting as if everything's your fault.

I'm sorry that I've been acting as if everything's your fault.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm starting to disappear. It feels like there is no space for me.

I'm starting to disappear. It feels like there is no space for me.

I'm worried that there's no space to make it better between us.

I'm worried that there's no space to make it better between us.

I've been so focused on being heard, I didn't see how much sense you are really making.

I've been so focused on being heard, I didn't see how much sense you are really making.

It feels like I can do no right by you.

It feels like I can do no right by you.

It would mean a lot if you could just say "I'm truly sorry" or do something that shows me that you care about what happened.

It would mean a lot if you could just say "I'm truly sorry" or do something that shows me that you care about what happened.

It would mean a lot to me if you could just repeat back to me what you think I'm trying to get across.

It would mean a lot to me if you could just repeat back to me what you think I'm trying to get across.

It's frightening to me that we see things so differently.

It's frightening to me that we see things so differently.

It's hard admitting I might be wrong.

It's hard admitting I might be wrong.

Please--can you forgive me?

Please--can you forgive me?

Rather than just criticize me, can you tell me what you want in a more positive way?

Rather than just criticize me, can you tell me what you want in a more positive way?

Right now, I don't need a lecture, I need your love.

Right now, I don't need a lecture, I need your love.

Right now, I'd do anything for you to know how much I love you.

Right now, I'd do anything for you to know how much I love you.

Talk to me like I'm someone you love.

Talk to me like I'm someone you love.

Tell me the truth--am I responding in the way you need me to right now?

Tell me the truth--am I responding in the way you need me to right now?

There's something really important I need to say to you, and I would like you to truly listen...not react (at least for five minutes anyway)

There's something really important I need to say to you, and I would like you to truly listen...not react (at least for five minutes anyway)

We need a new perspective. Let's take a break and each get clearer about what really matters here. Okay?

We need a new perspective. Let's take a break and each get clearer about what really matters here. Okay?

What can I say that would make you feel understood?

What can I say that would make you feel understood?

What you are saying is worth listening to, but I am so totally flooded, I can't take in one more thing. I wish I could, but I can't.

What you are saying is worth listening to, but I am so totally flooded, I can't take in one more thing. I wish I could, but I can't.

When you are so intense, it's hard to take in what might be valid about what you are saying.

When you are so intense, it's hard to take in what might be valid about what you are saying.

When you go on and on like that, I feel invisible to you.

When you go on and on like that, I feel invisible to you.

When you say things like that, it sounds like you are thinking of ending our relationship. Is that what you really mean?

When you say things like that, it sounds like you are thinking of ending our relationship. Is that what you really mean?

When you talk to me that way, I just feel small.

When you talk to me that way, I just feel small.

When you treat me this way, it feels like you don't respect me. Is that true?

When you treat me this way, it feels like you don't respect me. Is that true?

When you won't communicate with me, I feel like I'm nothing to you.

When you won't communicate with me, I feel like I'm nothing to you.

You are being a bully.

You are being a bully.

You are not being crazy. I can see why you would be upset with me.

You are not being crazy. I can see why you would be upset with me.

You are precious. And you deserve to be treated that way.

You are precious. And you deserve to be treated that way.

You are so upset I probably don't fully understand my impact on you. Please tell me--I want to understand.

You are so upset I probably don't fully understand my impact on you. Please tell me--I want to understand.

You are taking up so much space right now, it feels like there is no room for me.

You are taking up so much space right now, it feels like there is no room for me.

You didn't do anything wrong. I know it's my own craziness--trust me to get through it.

You didn't do anything wrong. I know it's my own craziness--trust me to get through it.

You don't have to agree with me, but it hurts when you don't take me seriously.

You don't have to agree with me, but it hurts when you don't take me seriously.

You don't have to be miserable to get me to take you seriously. Talk to me like I'm a friend who wants do do right by you.

You don't have to be miserable to get me to take you seriously. Talk to me like I'm a friend who wants do do right by you.

You have no idea how much I regret the direction I took this in. I'm really sorry.

You have no idea how much I regret the direction I took this in. I'm really sorry.

You seem [prickly....defensive....enraged] that I feel pulled to do so or say anything to calm you down. Is that what you really want?

You seem [prickly....defensive....enraged] that I feel pulled to do so or say anything to calm you down. Is that what you really want?

Your behavior embarrassed me. I'm trying to tell you, not to make you feel bad, but so I can feel close to you again.

Your behavior embarrassed me. I'm trying to tell you, not to make you feel bad, but so I can feel close to you again.

Your behavior felt threatening to me. I'm trying to tell you about it, not to make you feel bad, but so I can feel safe to you again.

Your behavior felt threatening to me. I'm trying to tell you about it, not to make you feel bad, but so I can feel safe to you again.