Textbook Chapter 6
What type of listening uses the 70/30 rule?
Active or empathetic listening
sensing
involves hearing the words and receiving the nonverbal signals such as body language and facial expressions.
haptics
(tactile communication)- refers to the use of touch. -Touch can provide a strong nonverbal cue. -Individuals tend to touch those they like or those with whom they have a close association, such as when a friend puts her arm over her friend's shoulder to express warmth and encouragement. -Other types of touch can indicate varying degrees of aggression, such as pointing a finger or smacking another's hand. -Touch-based communication varies depending upon the type of relationships, including functional/professional (dental examination, haircut), social/polite (handshake), friendship/warmth (clap on the back), and love/intimacy (kisses and hugs).
What are some components of nonverbal communication?
-Kinesics -Para-language -Environment -Chronemics -Proxemics -Haptics
Why is listening important?
-Listening is critical for effective communication, yet few people have actually acquired training in this essential skill. -The act of simply "hearing" is a passive activity. The act of listening—truly listening— demands attention, concentration, and effort. There are several different types of listening:
What are the two broad classes of nonverbal communication?
-Nonverbal -Paraverbal
describe self-perception
Most listeners hear what they want to hear. For example, many a manager has told a new employee that the organization gives "merit" pay increases. That new employee hears these words as "automatic" salary boosts, to which he or she feels entitled. Later, when the employee inevitably complains, the manager protests that the word "merit" means selective, and the employee will insist that to him or her the word "merit" means automatic. Who is right? Technically, the manager is. But in the interest of fos- tering good communication, it's up to the manager to be more explicit, give examples, and manage expectations by mentioning that only a small percentage of employees actually receive merit increases
responding
involves the listener sending the speaker verbal or nonverbal signals that he or she is being heard
selective perception
is a process in which you select or pay attention to only that information that adheres to or reinforces your own beliefs, views, or needs, causing severe distortion of messages.
What are some strategies for nonverbal communication?
Be self-aware of those mannerisms that may signal distraction or boredom. -Be aware of the need for congruence between your spoken words and nonverbal behaviors. -Do your nonverbal signals reinforce the verbal message? Or do they contradict the intended message, confuse the receiver, and result in a communication failure? -For example, a boss who says he or she loves your ideas while rolling his or her eyes would lead you to believe that the boss might lack confidence in your suggestions. Be "in the moment" and show respect by paying attention. -If you are rushed and can't pay sufficient attention to someone who needs to meet with you, disclose that another time would be better when you can pay full attention. Research cross-cultural mores in advance so you do not inadvertently use a mannerism that could be viewed as offensive. Make a rule not to e-mail, text, or take phone calls during meetings and social events unless absolutely necessary. While this may sound preposterous, limit your use of e-mail in business settings, or at least be aware of how important it is NOT to use e-mail to convey negative feedback or make announcements that could be viewed as negative. Arrange to watch yourself on tape -this will help you to be aware of mannerisms that may be affecting the way you are perceived when you interact with others. Take a class on presentation skills, debate, voice enhancement, breathing, improv, or drama -all of these help you to be more aware of how you come across to others and how you can improve your ability to relate to and interact with others. Think before you speak -Slowing down even just for a moment will give you the time needed to concentrate on speaking while sending nonverbal cues that support what you are saying. If you are generally impatient, have a short attention span, or are time-challenged, be aware of the impact this might have on others and arrange, when possible, to set blocks of time to meet with people on issues of importance to them. Be aware of some behaviors, like being late on a regular basis, that may be perceived as lack of interest or respect on your part, and make a commitment to change these behaviors. Be aware of always nodding in agreement -don't nod automatically, which may signal 100 percent agreement with what the speaker is saying; nod to show understand-ing, then communicate verbally by asking probing and clarifying questions to ensure the speaker is clear about where you stand on the issue being discussed. Develop a genuine interest in others and in their perspective. -Your ability to serve others is enhanced when you allow yourself to be at least as focused on others—showing this verbally and nonverbally—as you are on yourself
Describe some of the barriers to effective listening:
Physiological limitations. -Listening can be fatiguing. -We are visual beings—about 80 percent of learning occurs through sight. -Because the eye is victorious over the ear in the constant process of providing stimulation to the mind, many people don't know how to be effective listeners. Speaking/listening gap. -The average person speaks at a rate of 120-150 words per minute (wpm), while our brains have the capacity to process information at 275-300 wpm. -We can think at up to 500 wpm, which is why it is easy to tune in and out of conversations. -The optimal speaking rate is about 275-300 wpm even though the other person's thinking rate is higher. -One strategy to address this is to develop additional presentation techniques to hold the other person's full attention Inadequate background information. -Most listeners hate to admit when they haven't heard all of the information necessary to engage in conversation, so they stumble along hoping to catch up. selective memory -Some employees treasure every accolade and never hear a single criticism. Others hear only the complaints and never the praise. -We have a tendency to hear—and remember—what we want. There's a reason ad agencies run commercials over and over on TV and on the Web. Without reinforcement of key messages, it's easy to forget entirely or to remember only selectively what a company has paid millions for you to remember. Interestingly, steps are taken to increase viewers' recall, such as adding an attractive spokesperson or using flashy video, result in viewers remembering the attractive person and not the product or what it can do for them! selective expectation -If you expect dishonesty, poor work attitudes, or inattention, you'll probably get them. -This is an example of the "self-fulfilling prophecy." Many employees expect not to be listened to. -So many managers are preoccupied with im- mediate tasks and seldom have the time to devote to individual employee concerns that employees become accustomed to not being heard and understood. -Often they'll just give up and resign themselves to the short, nonattentive interactions with managers to which they've become accustomed, or withhold information, expecting it wouldn't be attended to anyway. Fear of being influenced or persuaded. -Some managers hold certain beliefs so dear to their hearts that they are biased—unable to entertain another's point of view about a matter. -Typically managers who feel this strongly about an issue have a tendency to turn off speakers who dispute their cherished beliefs even before the position is fully explained. Bias and being judgmental. -When you don't like a person, it's hard to hear what he or she says. -Sometimes this bias is based on wrong or incomplete information, such as "She's only 17, what could she know?" or "He's a bigot, so why should I listen to him?" -When we make a negative judgment about the speaker, we typically stop or severely curtail our desire to listen to the speaker Boredom. -Thought processes are four to five times the usual speed of speech. -When you can guess what an employee is going to say seconds or even minutes before he or she speaks, your thoughts wander. -When you return, the speaker may have gone on an unexpected track whose beginnings you lost and whose point you never do understand. Partial listening and distractions. -You may hear the literal words, but miss the connotation, facial expressions, or tone of voice. -In essence, you get only part of the message. -Perhaps you were trying to remember an important point when an employee interrupts to ask if he or she can leave to deal with an emergency at home. -Chances are you didn't give that employee your full attention—even though your empathetic response to the situation would have gone a long way. Rehearsing. -Many of us use the time during another's talking to come up with a bulletproof rebuttal. -If you do this, you aren't really listening. -Sometimes we are so intent on winning an argument that the conversation veers in a different direction during our "rehearsal," resulting in our losing the segue for and impact of our carefully crafted rebuttal. Selective perception. -Perception is the process by which you take in and process stimuli according to your own experiences or attitudes. -As such, you create your own reality, apart from what may actually be occurring. -Since communication has a great deal of room for individual interpretation, from the meaning of words to the interpretation of nonverbal signals, your perception can easily distort the true message or its intent. -Perception can be influenced by a number of factors such as your needs, opinions, per- personality, education, or environment. Selective perception is a process in which you select or pay attention to only that information that adheres to or reinforces your own beliefs, views, or needs, causing severe distortion of messages. Interference from emotions. -Communication is susceptible to interference by emotions. -Though we use communication to express our emotions, not everyone is able to understand, control, or explain his or her feelings adequately or fully. -Emotions are neither right nor wrong, but rather an expression of human reactions. -By observing nonverbal cues, you are better able to interpret the true level and type of others' emotional states. -You can then utilize empathy to neutralize emotional responses, paving the way to begin work on understanding the content of the communication. -The emotional state of both the sender and the receiver must be considered in eliminating problems in the communication process.
attentive listening
ccurs when you are genuinely interested in the speaker's point of view. -You are aware something can be learned from the interaction. -In attentive listening, you make assumptions about the messages being relayed by the speaker and fill in gaps with assumptions based on what you want to hear rather than on what the speaker is actually saying. -At this level of listening, you don't check to see whether what you heard is what the speaker intended to say. Many barriers and biases can hinder this form of interaction.
What are the different types of listening?
-Passive listening -Attentive listening -Active or empathetic listening
What are the three parts of listening?
-Sensing -Processing/Evaluating -Responding
What are the benefits of active listening
Active listening shows the speaker you are concerned. -By paying full attention to the speaker, you are able to focus on the key elements of the message being sent, ask questions to clarify meanings, and offer statements that enhance both the speaker's and your understanding of what is being said. Active listening leads to getting better information. -By asking clarifying questions, you motivate the speaker to be more precise when explaining the nuances of a situation, enabling you to obtain details that otherwise might not have surfaced. Imagine the mother asking her teenage son how his day went. If she accepts his one-word answer ("fine"), she limits her understanding of his situation and might communicate that she really doesn't care to know more. Active listening encourages further communication. -In active listening, the listener is an active participant in the conversation, asking questions and probing for details so the speaker feels both supported and encouraged to share more information about a situation, enhancing both the speaker's and the listener's understanding of what is taking place. Active listening has the potential to enhance relationships. -It takes more time to listen actively to someone else. Just taking this time to focus on a person and his or her issues can improve the relationship. Listening actively also involves offering mutual support and developing common understanding, both of which serve to strengthen trust and enhance interactions between the people involved. Returning to the mother and son example, if she took the time to listen and ask a few thoughtful follow-up questions, her son might begin to open up about his day. For example, he might talk about the fact he failed his geometry exam, won a wrestling match, or that his best friend was arrested for drug possession. When you take the time to truly listen—using your ears and eyes to take in a more complete story—others feel cared for. -These feelings are usually reciprocated, result- ing in an enhanced relationship. Active listening can sometimes calm down another person who is feeling very upset about a situation. -Think for a moment about airline ticket agents and how calm most of them are when confronted by an aggressive or just a tired passenger. Most airline ticket agents have received customer service training that emphasizes the importance of listening to the customer. While an agent can seldom do anything that would directly respond to the passenger's needs, such as change the weather or get the flight to leave on time, the best agents are skilled at focusing their attention on passengers in distress, hearing them out, and quietly helping the passengers problem-solve about the situation in which they find themselves. These agents use their training to make the passenger feel heard and understood. They listen, ask clarifying questions, empathize, and offer poten- tial solutions for consideration by the passenger—all in a way that calms passengers. Active listening invites others to listen to you. -By listening actively you set a good example for others and remind them listening is a valuable skill they can also use. People who have been listened to actively are more likely to reciprocate. This benefit of active listening is echoed in Stephen Covey's best-selling Seven Habits of Highly Effective People: seek first to understand and then to be understood.3 Typically, when two people disagree, one is likely to say something like, "Okay, we don't agree. Let me tell you why you're wrong and how my way is superior." Perhaps that statement is a bit exaggerated, but it demonstrates the need many of us have to be right and have our say—first and foremost. Imagine how this exchange would differ if it sounded like this: "Okay, we don't agree. Why don't you tell me your idea and why you think it will work." When we actively listen to other people, chances are very high they'll do the same in return. Active listening leads to better cooperation and problem solving. -We're all human and it's easy to make mistakes when we think we understand what someone is trying to say. By listening actively, asking questions, and probing for understanding, together the listener and speaker are generally able to develop more creative solutions than if the listener had remained passive, not offering any insight or support. Team members and employees report that when their team leaders and managers demonstrate real interest in them and their ideas by listening and paying attention to their concerns, their willingness to work collaboratively increases dramatically
paraverbal communication
cues include aspects related to speech, such as pitch, pauses, tone of voice, inflection, and voice volume
processing/evaluating
involves understanding the meaning, interpreting the implications, evaluating the nonverbal cues, and remembering the message.
Describe the application of active listening and organizations:
-Active listening is also important for intraorganizational communication. Employees want and need to be listened to Addressing employee concerns improves organizational effectiveness, reduces miscommunications and errors, and leads to a responsive work environment. Improving managerial listening skills raises performance levels through responsive and creative problem solving. -Employees spend one-third of work time listening while top executives spend two-thirds of their work hours in listening activities.Accurate information sharing in organizations is critical for strategic success. -Successful organizations foster active listening in the corporate culture -Improving listening skills on an individual level will lead to higher levels of employee responsiveness, clearer understanding of organizational issues, and increased employee commitment to quality.
Why is nonverbal communication important?
-Most of us trust nonverbal cues far more than we trust another's words. Fifty-five percent of communication is comprised of body language, 38 percent of audio codes, and 7 percent of words. -Nonverbal communication includes many components such as silence, body posture, touching, place and time, the position of the eyes (for example, rolling of the eyes), hand or foot moves (such as wringing hands or shaking a leg/foot), attire, eye contact, and so on. -Nonverbal communication indicates feelings, whereas ideas are expressed verbally. People will almost always disbelieve the spoken word if an opposite message is being delivered with a tone of voice, posture, and facial expression. -Given the importance of nonverbal cues in communication, relying primarily on the spoken word to convey your ideas in face-to-face interactions neglects essential communication tools -Nonverbal communication is powerful and is most effective in reinforcing your mes- sage when a combination of consistent nonverbal behavior cues is used, such as main- taining eye contact while using an appropriate voice volume and maintaining an erect posture
What are some benefits of nonverbal communication?
-Nonverbal communication covers items that cannot be expressed with words. -Nonverbal communication is very effective at sending accurate messages. -It is usually easy to get almost immediate feedback on how nonverbal communica- tion is being interpreted by the receiver. -Paying attention to your nonverbal communication skills makes you more aware of both your unconscious as well as your conscious thoughts. By getting these two into greater alignment, your overall communication and listening skills improve, resulting in enhanced understanding and decision making. -Trust improves when your nonverbal and verbal communication are in alignment. -Awareness of cross-cultural differences in nonverbal communication increases your understanding of ways to interact effectively in business and social settings with individuals from diverse backgrounds.
What are barriers to effective nonverbal communication?
A number of nonverbal communication behaviors are culturally specific -the way they are perceived in one culture may not be the way they are perceived in another culture. -For example, short handshakes may be perceived positively in one country, while handshakes of a longer duration may be the norm in another. A number of behaviors that prevent us from communicating effectively are in our "blind area." -Tapping a foot may signal unconsciously impatience; reading a sign while someone is talking may signal lack of interest in the person speaking; twirling a pencil may unwittingly signal nervousness. We may be misinterpreted. -By concentrating on what we are saying we often lose sight of other mannerisms that could be signaling a different reaction or emotion from what is stated. Our reliance on constant use of mobile devices even when talking or in meetings may reduce our ability to be attentive to both verbal and nonverbal messages when interacting with others. Many are now experiencing what they perceive to be "short attention spans." -The constant barrage of ads, social media, face-to-face and virtual interactions may make it difficult for us to concentrate fully on the person or persons with whom we are speaking in the present moment, resulting in incorrect or poor understanding of messages received verbally or nonverbally during increasingly brief interactions. Be aware of the limitations of e-mail -as we stated earlier, e-mail is a form of communication to use for brief, noncontroversial messages—precisely because the receiver cannot see your nonverbal messages, speak with you in person, or read "tone" into the content of your message.
Describe online distractions:
Put down your cell phone when interacting with another person! Turn off your mobile device during class, meetings, dinners, and social events. Avoid texting while conversing with someone else. We cannot multitask the way we think we can—plus it's often considered impolite or unprofessional to text or take calls while with others. Show your attentiveness by actively listening to and engaging with people. This will go a long way toward building relationships with people that are genuine and caring
What are some characteristics of active listening?
Show interest and be sincere in listening. -Use both verbal and nonverbal cues to demonstrate you truly care about the speaker and his or her message. Ask questions if you don't understand completely. -Ask for clarification on points of contention ("Did he say we would need to lay off employees or just cut costs?") as well as follow-up questions ("When will she have to start this process?"). Avoid distractions. -Avoid doing two (or more) things at once. Make the speaker feel that she or he is the most important person in the world. Use direct eye contact. -Look away from the computer, the report, or your calendar while communicating with friends and associates. -Also, be sensitive to cultural differences in interpreting the meaning that might be conveyed by making—or avoiding— eye contact with others. Do not interrupt. -To quote the American etiquette expert, Letitia Baldridge, "Good listeners don't interrupt—ever—unless the building's on fire."7 Pause and count to three to make sure the speaker has completed his or her statements. Read both the verbal and nonverbal messages. -Good listening technique involves good detective work. -Take the time and energy needed to understand the whole message and not just what is being spoken. Be empathetic. -Recognize and acknowledge the other person's feelings and emotions. If the person is distressed, cracking a joke or making light of the situation might be interpreted as not caring about the speaker. -The earlier example of the airline agent certainly applies here. Paraphrase to correct misinterpretations, reflect the literal message, and improve retention. -Repeat statements for clarification. Say, "If I heard you correctly . . ." or "So what you are saying is. . . ." Evaluate the message after hearing all the facts. -A common habit of listeners is forming a response before the speaker is finished. -Avoid judgments by allowing the individual to complete the entire message before assessing the content and merit of the statements. Concentrate on the message as well as the messenger. -Focus on the delivery as well as the content of the message itself, but be sure to check your potential biases about the messenger before you start the listening process. Give feedback to check the accuracy, express your perspective, and broaden the interaction. -For example, you might say, "So you want me to complete this report by Friday?" or "It sounds like we disagree; are there any elements of the plan on which we can both agree?" Listen with your entire body. -Use direct eye contact, lean forward, nod your head, and use nonverbal communication to denote understanding or to get clarification. Don't talk so much! If you know you have tendencies toward verbosity, be on guard.
70/30 principle
When in the role of listener, true active listeners spend almost 70 percent of their time listening and less than 30 percent of their time talking.
Nonverbal visual
cues include facial expressions, eye blinks, eye contact, gaze aversion, nodding, smiles, postural shifts, physical positioning, and other bodily behaviors.
kinesics
involves body movement, gestures, and posture. -This includes eye contact, leaning, and body positioning. -Ex. we tend to use eye contact to provide information, express interest or intimacy, or facilitate the accomplishment of tasks. Many gestures are passed from one generation to the next without conscious effort. The way your dad looked at you when you did something wrong maybe echoed in your behavior toward others. -Check yourself and ask for feedback if you think others may find your gestures offensive. -In addition, there are differences—some small, some vast—in the use, acceptability, and interpretation of gestures in other cultures. As we said before, it is important to know your audience
proxemics
is a term to describe the way we use space in communication. -The amount of personal space you need often depends on your gender, age and culture. -You may notice that when talking to a close friend, you stand very near—perhaps a foot or less away. -Conversely, when you go to the beach, you are more likely to look for a spot that is 10 or more feet from the next occupied space. How closely we stand to others with whom we communicate has a powerful effect on how we regard others and how we respond to them. -For example, Americans prefer a "safe zone" when interacting with others, a space of a couple of feet or more. By contrast, many people in Latin American countries stand quite close and often touch those with whom they speak—in personal and even business conversations.
Nonverbal communication
is conveying meaning or expressing feelings consciously or subconsciously through means other than words -over 55 percent of interpersonal communication is conveyed nonverbally -We often communicate nonverbally in ways that contradict what we're saying verbally. Nonverbal messages are often sent subconsciously, leading others to believe they hold more of the true meaning than the verbal message -Nonverbal messages tend to be ambiguous, so they may still need verbal clarification. Silence is probably one of the most misunderstood forms of nonverbal communication. Imagine you are at a team meeting and a major decision is about to be ratified. Some members vocalize their agreement while others remain silent
active or empathetic listening
is the most powerful level of listening and requires the largest amount of work. -In active listening, communication is a vibrant, two-way process that involves high levels of attentiveness, clarification, and message processing. -In active listening, you not only hear and react to the words being spoken but also paraphrase, clarify, and give feedback to the speaker about the messages being received -Follows the 70/30 principle
listening
is the process of hearing someone speak, processing what you're hearing, and demonstrating that you understand the speaker's intent. -Effective listening has three dimensions: sensing, processing/evaluating, and responding. -Listening is an essential skill for those who want to be successful in work and in life. Yet truly effective listeners are hard to find.
chronemics
is the study of how human beings use and structure time. -Are you always late, early, right on time? What is the message you're sending, and how do your superiors, peers, or subordinates perceive it? If you are always late to meetings, what do others interpret about this behavior? What if you're always early? Is what your actions are communicating the message you intended to send? -Again, there are cultural differences in how chronemics plays out in the communication. Be aware of these differences to ensure mutual understanding.
passive listening
occurs when you are trying to absorb as much of the information presented as possible. -You act as a sponge, taking in the information with no or little attempt to process or enhance the messages being sent by the speaker.
environment
refers to the layout of space or room, lighting, color scheme, noise, decorations, and so on. -The way in which you arrange your office may send a message to subordinates that may denote invitation or seclusion. -For example, arranging your desk with your back to the door sends a very different message than arranging your desk facing the door. Also, placing chairs on the other side of your desk, facing you, places a barrier—figuratively and literally—between you and your co-workers. -If you want to send a more egalitarian message, arrange your chairs next to your desk, or sit around a table with chairs when speaking with your employees or associates.
para language
refers to the tone of voice, volume, pitch, or speech rate. -Is the sender using a strong, loud tone of voice, or is he or she soft-spoken or timid in making an announcement? -It is important to check both your message and how you deliver it to ensure that the receiver will interpret and respond to it as intended. -The same message can have very different meanings depending on which words are emphasized.
