Eternal Families Final Exam Study
Why did President Hinckley plead with us to "work at our responsibility as parents as if everything in life counted on it"?
Everything in life does depend on it, because building family relations is necessary for joy in the next life.
What are two false messages being sent to men in our time?
Everything is about the man, and the man is the only thing important Nothing is about the man, and the man isn't important
How can charity become the guiding principle of our intimate relationships?
Healthy sexual relations are not just a means to obtain love--they are a means to show love and Christlike charity and care for the spouse.
What are some warning signs that a loved one may be suicidal?
Hurting themselves physically Talking about wanting to die Giving things away Withdrawing from things and people they love Becoming worried, anxious, and angry a lot more often
What reasons have prophets given for the importance of continuing education?
It is a religious responsibility--a commandment to educate our minds and souls. It allows for greater responsibilities to come forth, greater monetary benefits and support, and a greater knowledge base in the life to come
What do many "breadwinners" worry about?
Many breadwinners worry that their occupations leave little time for their families; one-on-one time is best, rather than large vacations.
What are the three "ends" of sexual intimacy?
Marital Unity Procreation Strong families
What is sexual fragmentation and why is it important to understand (and avoid)?
Sexual fragmentation is important to understand because it helps us understand the true meaning and symbols behind sex: unity; and when we're not unified outside of sex, that harms the deeper meaning behind what sex is really supposed to do (unify you). If we only love fragments of the other person (i.e. sexual fragments), we miss out on the relationship as a whole.
What is necessary for us to understand the eternal importance of the law of chastity?
Sexual procreation is something that is meant to be shown as a sacred sign of love and commitment for the husband and wife. Violating the law of chastity is violating the sanctity of our personal, physical tabernacles.
What are some of the obstacles husbands and wives must overcome in order to continue nurturing their relationship?
The lack of time together--husbands and wives are pulled into different directions in their lives, and thus, have less time for courting One of Satan's greatest tools here is distraction--in distracting husbands and wives from each other and from the most important aspects of their marriage (become so focused on your own life that you have no time for the other person) Busyness
What is the most essential work of a father?
The most essential work of a father is to turn the hearts of his children to their Heavenly Father.
According to our readings, terminating the life of a developing baby involves...
Two individuals with separate brains, bodies, and beating hearts.
What did President Hinckley say was part of the "temporal gospel in which we believe"?
"Be modest in your expenditures; discipline yourselves in your purchases to avoid debt to the extent possible. Pay off debt as quickly as you can, and free yourselves from bondage."
Why is it important not to incorrectly classify pornography use as addiction?
"If behavior is incorrectly classified as an addiction, the user may think he or she has lost agency and the capacity to overcome the problem. This can weaken resolve to recover and repent. On the other hand, having a clearer understanding of the depth of a problem —that it may not be as ingrained or extreme as feared —can give hope and an increased capacity to exercise agency to discontinue and repent."
What do we learn was "far more lasting, far more powerful, far more influential than any earthly position or institution"?
"The influence of righteous, conscientious, persistent, daily mothering is far more lasting, far more powerful, far more influential than any earthly position or institution invented by man."
According to our readings, "Tolerance does not require...
...abandoning one's standards or one's opinions on political or public policy choices."
According to our readings, "Few concepts have more potential to mislead us than the idea that...
...choice, or moral agency, is the ultimate goal."
What are the three levels of chastity spoken of in the video?
Behavioral chastity (do's and don'ts before marriage) Spiritual chastity (sexual purity): it's not just what we do, but why we do it Sexual wholeness view: understanding, what does our sexual activity create? What is the purpose of it? Does it bring about divine purposes?
According to our readings, it is not possible to be forgiven for the sin of abortion. T/F?
False
What are the four things we should know to be sufficiently educated sexually?
The human sexual response (mechanics and techniques) Knowledge about your body and its sexual functioning Knowledge about your spouse's body and his sexual functioning Knowledge of sexual differences for men and women to promote understanding and empathy for each others' needs
How does a focus on all aspects of intimacy lead to a more Christlike nature and to a more loving bond between husband and wife?
When husband and wife share more aspects of each other through different forms of intimacy (i.e. solving problems, enjoying nature together, coping with problems and pain together), it makes them have a more joyful physical intimacy. As couples will practice the other forms of intimacy with Christlike kindness and sacrifice, their love and commitment for other familial relationships and their own relationship will grow.
What do our physical bodies amplify?
"Thus, our relationships with other people, our capacity to recognize and act in accordance with truth, and our ability to obey the principles and ordinances of the gospel of Jesus Christ are amplified through our physical bodies. In the school of mortality, we experience tenderness, love, kindness, happiness, sorrow, disappointment, pain, and even the challenges of physical limitations in ways that prepare us for eternity."
According to our readings, the First Presidency in True to the Faith asks us to consider two things when making decisions about how many children to have and when. What are they?
1) Ponder the joy that comes when children are in the home. 2) Consider the eternal blessings that come from having a good posterity. With a testimony of these principles, you and your spouse will be prepared to prayerfully decide how many children to have and when to have them. Such decisions are between the two of you and the Lord.
How does a Christ-like nature lead to healthy communication?
A Christ-like nature of love and empathy creates empathetic listening that can happen without a condescending-kind of tone. Thus, it leads to healthy communication and a greater sense of love and peace in feeling listened to. Strip yourself of pride and selfishness in the way you listen
What is the relationship between charity and marital intimacy?
As we base our marital intimacy on charity and selflessness and looking at how we can bless our spouses, the relationship will deepen and one will receive more gratification from the sexual and emotional aspects of the relationship.
Why is it important to start early to take care of your health?
Because if you don't start early, your health will decline as you get older. "The greatest blessing of being prepared is that it gives us freedom from fear." The healthier we are in the body, the spirit has a great place to reside.
What are some lessons we learn from the secular research on marital enhancement?
Become less busy and focus on the other person--becoming less busy will allow your mind to focus more on the significant other
According to our readings, what question did President Kimball ask of Elder Mason regarding beginning his family?
Brother Mason, would the Lord want for you to break one of His most important commandments in order for you to become a doctor? Where is your faith?
What counsel have prophets and apostles given to married couples that directs them to live with fidelity to their eternal companions?
Chastity doesn't just mean sexual abstinence: it means cleaving unto the spouse and none else. It means not allowing political life, social life, or work life to become more important than the spouse, and it means that there is no other flirting, no onlooking, and no opening the heart to anyone else. Chastity and fidelity will allow deep love to foster and grow, and thus make the relationship more fulfilling.
What is the relationship between the worth of souls, the role of sexuality in the plan of salvation, and the Atonement in explaining why sexual sin is so serious to our Heavenly Father?
Christ atoned for our bodies, so misusing them is a mockery to His Atonement. Us misusing the powers of creating life also mocks the great worth of souls in the sight of God. Us misusing the powers of procreative power--which are meant to help us become like God in the great plan of salvation--are what creates problems.
What are some of the basic principles related to sexual fulfillment?
Desire Phase Arousal Phase Orgasm Phase Arousal Phase Understanding that the physical is just an extension of the spiritual--so we need to be emotionally prepared and spiritually united for a completely joyful experience Understand that it's a matter of experiencing the arousal and feelings and sharing the experience together Sexual intimacy is not an end to closeness--it's a means to obtain closeness
What did James say should "not be" when it comes to our communications?
Don't be the person that spits insults and sings hymns; be consistent with what you're saying, and be filled with charity when you speak.
What basic commandment must we keep as a provident provider?
Don't covet others' possessions (and thus, don't buy things you can't afford or don't need)
What does the First Presidency counsel regarding passionately kissing before marriage?
Don't do it.
According to our readings, why did Elder Anderson bring up the examples of Adam and Even / Lehi and Sarah / Moses' parents / Joseph and Mary?
Each of these parents had to have significant faith in order to conceive children and raise them in difficult circumstances. Adam and Eve had to leave the garden, the only place they'd known. Joseph and Mary had to travel to Bethlehem and Mary had to risk being stoned. Lehi and Sariah had to bear a child in the wilderness. Moses' parents had to conceive him at a time where he could be killed.
What are acceptable reasons for incurring reasonable debt?
Education, a modest home, or a basic car are all acceptable
What expenses has the Church indicated may be necessary to borrow money to cover?
Education, car, house
What are the three categories of intimacy spoken of in the video?
Emotional intimacy Affectionate intimacy (there's a line between affection and passion) Passionate intimacy (within marriage)
What did the author say was preeminent in our sexual decision-making?
Equal partnership (and thus, in this way, equal consent and equal decision-making)
According to our readings, what were Elder Bednar's three suggestions for how we can be more diligent and concerned at home?
Express love, and show it Bear testimony, and live it (in words and deeds) Be consistent (family prayer, scripture study, family home evening) → they don't remember a specific instance, but they remember that it was done
What are the nine proclamation principles that lead to familial love and happiness?
Faith Prayer Repentance Forgiveness Respect Love Compassion Work Wholesome Recreational Activities
What are some of the reasons these principles are important to family life?
Faith: Having faithful parents help create faithful children (in several cases) Prayer: Other reasons for family prayer are to feel the Spirit, to receive answers to our problems, to receive comfort and guidance, and to experience revelation. Repentance: It can humble the family and help them improve through support, love, and encouragement Forgiveness: This fosters understanding and empathy in the family, and thus allows the family to continue to progress Respect: This will foster healthy communication and a greater obedience Love: There will be more harmony and joy that comes from service Compassion: This will lead to less frustration and judgement towards family members Work: It will teach children on how to be successful in reality and will help prepare them for their future families in working. It will also increase their sense of self-worth Wholesome Recreational Activities: These will foster joy and happy memories that will last into the eternities
What are some of the practices associated with these principles that we can use to create harmony in our families?
Faith: Teaching Christlike attributes in the home and teaching about who Christ is Prayer: Praying together as a family, couple, and individually Repentance: A daily focus on recognizing that one did something wrong, and then apologizing for it Forgiveness: Don't harbor grudges, but continually forgive and remember one's own faults Respect: Parents and children value each other, listen to each other, and treat them kindly Love: Be in tune for the needs of others and meet them. If parents expect children to be loving, they should give them praise and loving words as well Compassion: giving family the benefit of the doubt, being non-judgemental Work: Encouraging work outside, encouraging work in school and around the home, encouraging work in the kitchen, etc Wholesome Recreational Activities: Parties, dinners, banquets, games, shows, vacations, etc
If we can just help our friend/loved one who has thoughts of suicide to read their scriptures and say their prayers, the thoughts of suicide will go away T/F?
False
What practices can help keep our focus right, even in the midst of prosperity?
First, pay your tithes and offerings Don't confuse wants with needs Live modestly and avoid debt Don't covet the neighbor's possessions Learn to say, "We can't afford it" Be generous in giving to others
What kind of activities help prepare a couple for marital intimacy?
Have emotional intimacy (emotional feelings of closeness, openness, and vulnerability with the individual) Listen to the Spirit during the communication Do things to lift your spouse's burdens, serve them, do things together, private sanctuary for the two of you, willingly offer forgiveness and ask for it, fast together, go to the temple together
What did Elder Robert D. Hales say was "the key to strengthening our families"?
Having the Spirit in our homes
According to the reading, what is the 48-hour rule and how might it help couples deal with past mistakes?
If one individual was upset with something the other did, they had 48-hours to bring it up and resolve it. After that time, they weren't allowed to bring it up.
Why is it important for us to end the activities of our day before we are exhausted?
If you end the activities of the day too late, then you and your spouse will not have enough time to enjoy having sex; sexual health is important in marriage
How does our understanding of and approach to chastity and sexuality while we are single influence our view of and approach towards sexuality once we are married?
If, while we're single, only see chastity and sexuality out of fear and as a list of "don'ts" with little explanation as to why, then there's more fear and less health and fidelity in actual sexual relationships when married. Understand more of why in the chastity other than abstinence-only based metaphors
How can charity help us benefit from rather than struggle with those gendered differences?
In recognizing these differences, if spouses are filled with charity for each other, then they are more likely to experience a greater sense of responsiveness in recognizing that their spouse may move at different phases at different times--thus, there will be more fulfilling sex. Charity comes as couples talk with each other during and after sexual experiences, in mature conversations that will help people understand where they're coming from. Never include lustful parts of the relationship--this will damage the charity and spirit behind sex.
What did Elder Oaks teach about the worthiness of a person who has fully repented of pornography use?
Individuals who fully repent are fully worthy to enter the temple and perform in eternal ordinances, and be sealed together for time and all eternity.
Why must our marriage partner always be our primary source of information on marital intimacy and how do we decide what is appropriate to discuss prior to marriage?
It creates a sense of vulnerability, openness, and communication about any anxieties felt, and because we'll be engaging in intimacy with them, we should discuss marital intimacy with them
What "could make it more likely that people in the family would love and serve one another"?
It is not simply teaching them the gospel. It is in their hearing the word of God and then trying it in faith.
What is a primary purpose of the law of tithing?
It is to help us develop faith in God and Christ
How does faithful payment of tithing indicate our willingness to put God first in our lives?
It shows that we are willing to keep our covenants with God, especially during hard times, so that we then have faith that He will open up the windows of heaven to bless us. It shows that we value our covenants of consecration above everything else.
What is one of the dangers of sexual fragmentation?
It's deceitful, because as we're dependent on sexual gratification and nothing else in the relationship (when the sexual needs to add to the depth of the relationship, not take from it), then we're unaware of the other problems in the relationship.
What is the overarching purpose of God's commandments and counsel regarding financial issues?
It's to help us draw nearer to Him and become like Him.
What are the strengths and weaknesses of LDS, non-LDS, and medical or clinical sources of information regarding sexual intimacy?
LDS sources of information will provide the spiritual and emotional aspects of a sexual relationship, but may be vague in terms of the physiology of it non-LDS and medical sources of information may provide significant background on how the physiology of sex works, but may leave out the parts of the spiritual and emotional aspects of it
What are "two of the best things a father can do for his children"?
Loving the mother of his children, and showing that love, strengthens the marriage for the children
How can spouses make sure that love is the motivating factor in their sexual intimacy rather than lust?
Lust != sexual desire. Sexual desire is something holy and necessary to seal love in a couple, and is motivated by charity and selflessness for the other person. Lust, however, is motivated by selfishness, and is a means to obtain a greater sexual satisfaction rather than obtaining a connection with the spouse.
What four principles should guide sexual decision-making in marriage?
Marital unity principle (does this strengthen our relationship with ourselves and with God?) Consensus principle (do we agree on this aspect of sex?) Positivity principle (does this reflect a positive attitude about sexuality?) Sexual potential principle (does this foster the sexual needs of my spouse?)
What did Sister Dew state that we need to do as a result of men and women being different?
Men and women have different strengths and virtues that, when united together, can spell exaltation; no family nor ward can be united without respecting these differences.
What are some of the specific gendered differences between men and women in relation to marital intimacy?
Men: Sexual intimacy encourages a focus on the overall relationship Often physical first, and then emotions Often immediately ready for sexual intimacy Touch is not often equated with intimacy Often stimulated by seeing and touching Women: A focus on the overall relationship encourages sexual intimacy Often emotions first, and then physical Often deliberate in preparation for sexual intimacy Touch is not necessarily equated with intimacy but can lead to intimacy Often stimulated by talking and touching
What should take precedence over money production?
Money management
How should husbands and wives work together when it comes to money management?
Money management skills should be learned together in a spirit of cooperation and love on a continuing basis; husbands and wives should work together to manage the finances, and one shouldn't manage the finances over the other
What is one of the great ironies of eternity related to the law of chastity?
One of the ultimate ironies of eternity is that the adversary, who is miserable precisely because he has no physical body, entices us to share in his misery through the improper use of our bodies.
What have modern prophets taught regarding priorities that help us continue to focus on our marriage relationship?
Physical and spiritual selves (i.e. our relationship with God and ourselves) Spouses Children Church Callings Professional Lives Civic responsibilities
Besides sexuality, what other forms of intimacy are important in our marriages?
Physical intimacy Emotional intimacy Intellectual intimacy Aesthetic intimacy Creative intimacy Recreational intimacy Work intimacy Conflict intimacy Crisis intimacy Spiritual intimacy
What are other essential aspects of intimacy besides sexuality, and why are these aspects necessary as part of both overall intimacy and sexual intimacy?
Physical intimacy: Human touch, including sexuality Emotional intimacy: Feeling close, loved, understood, wanted Intellectual intimacy: Sharing thoughts and ideas Aesthetic intimacy: Sharing the beauties of the world Creative intimacy: Sharing acts of creating together Recreational intimacy: Enjoying life through recreation together Work intimacy: Closeness created by sharing common tasks Conflict intimacy: Facing challenges and differences together Crisis intimacy: Togetherness in coping with problems and pain Spiritual intimacy: Experiencing God and the Gospel together
How can we plan for success instead of failure in our future plans to take care of our families?
Plan for success that we will have enough time to work between our job and our family; if we plan for failure that we won't ever have enough money, then we plan for failure in our family because we will never have enough time together; time is the true money.
When deciding what will be part of your marital intimate behavior, what else should be part of the consideration?
Questions to consider: Does this unify us and bring us closer to God? Are we both in consensus with this? Does this bring a more positive attitude about sexuality? Does this foster the sexual needs of my spouse and I?
According to our readings, current church policy includes ... possible exceptions to the prohibition on abortion.
Rape, incest, the women's health, and the baby 100% not surviving
According to our readings, we can be in the world but not of the world by...
Rejecting false concepts, false teachings, remaining true to what God has commanded.
What was Sister Burton speaking about when she asked "if any of these questions lead you to squirm or feel a tinge of guilt"?
She was speaking about that guilt is to the spirit like pain is to the body--it's to remind us to do better in our companionships, and it's a protection from additional damage.
What three areas help prepare you both personally and familially by way of health habits?
Sleep Exercise Diet
Joseph Smith taught that we work by faith when we ___________?
Speak with the tongue of angels (i.e. it's by words that works of faith come).
What principles did Elder Holland teach about speaking with a child?
Speak with them with kindness, and when chastising, do it out of love and not with insult. The words we speak are crucial to helping a child form an image of themselves. Praise each child individually, and not with comparisons.
What are some of the documented differences often inherent in male and female communication?
Status v Support: men seek for language to assert status; women seek for language to offer support Independence v Intimacy: men are less likely to receive help; women are more likely to seek support Advice v Understanding: men use language in order to solve problems; women use language to create love and empathy Information v Feelings: men are more logical (head); women are more focused on feelings (heart) Orders v Proposals: men use imperatives; women use hidden directives Conflict v Compromise: men want to come off as "right"; women want to find a middle ground
What is a stereotype and a generalization in terms of sexuality and why should stereotypes be avoided?
Stereotyping leads away from our ability to respond to each other in loving ways Moralizing: "real men/women do..." you are only "real" if you act a certain way Self-fulfilling prophecy: we believe a stereotype so much that we bring it into practice Inferred immutability: the belief that we cannot control ourselves or use our agency
According to our readings, what did Joseph Smith say was calculated to lead people to forsake sin?
Take them by the hand, and watch them with tenderness and love. When you manifest kindness, you're more likely to become more humble and progress.
What role does the Holy Spirit play in helping us stay morally pure?
The Holy Spirit guides and directs us when we may be close to acting in a way that's not morally pure; the Holy Spirit helps us stay safe and clean in telling us what's appropriate and not, and alerts us with guilt when we may sin, so that we can be alerted to repentance.
Why is the fact that something is good not reason enough to prioritize or do that thing?
The number of "good" things in our lives far exceeds our ability and time to accomplish all of them. Rather, we need to focus on the "better" and "best" tasks to perform.
What principles of effective communication have the scriptures and modern prophets taught?
The principles are of talking freely and openly about anything, being honest with your partner Assume the good and doubt the bad when you communicate Listening with love and being filled with understanding Be positive and optimistic in your communication
What has recent research told us about the priorities of the rising generation?
The rising generation has higher priorities of seeking wealth and fame
What is "the Lord's standard regarding sexual purity"?
The standard is clear and unchanging: do not have sexual relations before marriage, and be faithful to your spouse after marriage.
What are some of the obstacles to effective communication, and how can we overcome these obstacles?
There are several obstacles that fall into the categories of spiritual, physical, circumstantial, and emotional, that can lead to barriers of communication. Refusing to communicate Communicating aggressively Masking feelings/being passive aggressive, "I'm fine" Very few of these obstacles can be overcome with simply learning a new skill: it's through practicing the doctrines of Christ by having Christlike thoughts, actions, and love towards each other.
What Church and BYU resources did we recommend?
There's the Church's 'Provident Living' website There's the Church's "family Finances" page on that website BYU has several courses on financial advising for several different ages (ie high school students, college freshman, YSA, singles, newlyweds, etc)
"However worthy and appropriate other demands or activities may be," what is the standard on whether we should do them?
They must not displace the divine duties and responsibilities that come from being parents and spouses.
Parents should stay informed about their children's lives. What does this mean for their children's internet (and social media) life?
They should know what they are doing on the internet and social media in order to help protect them/teach them about wholesome recreation
What headings are included in the First Presidency pamphlet All Is Safely Gathered In?
Three Month Supply of Food Store Drinking Water Financial Reserve (save money and put it in storage) Longer-term supply of food (ie wheat, rice, beans)
What should we expect when we read the family proclamation?
We can expect that God won't just tell us a few interesting things about the family; he will tell us what a family ought to be and why.
What are some specific ways we can purposefully continue our courtship after we are married?
We can have a date every night in order to purposefully continue the courtship (i.e. Elder Holland's Friday nights) We can practice all the same ideals and principles that we practiced while dating: loving the other even during their weaknesses, having long talks, expressing continuous affection, communicating during difficulties, etc
How can we purposefully keep our spouse as our highest earthly priority?
We can purposefully work to make time for our spouse, either in weekly dates, spending time in working together, or doing small rituals, like kissing everyday, in order to keep the love strong We can also make sure to keep the spiritual connection with them strong, as the relationship would involve them and God
What are some of the right reasons for seeking wealth?
We can seek wealth to help build the kingdom of God and assist the poor (see Jacob 4)
Besides the spoken word, what are other important ways we intentionally or unintentionally communicate in the family?
We communicate through listening, through assuming the good in others, through not interrupting, and through understanding the situation and being non judgemental about it
According to our readings, Elder Holland said we "will never be more like God at any other time in this life than when ________."
We exercise the power of creating life
What must we do now if we would treasure motherhood in the world to come?
We must treasure motherhood now, because the devotion and heart is where the treasure is.
According to Sister Burton, when is a husband most attractive to his wife?
When he is serving in his God-given roles as a worthy priesthood holder.
What is equally as important as what you decide when it comes to marital intimacy?
Your spouse and their desires and needs are equally as important Marital intimacy is decided among the personal inspiration line