Guide Final Oral Communication
Characteristic of a romantic relationships.
Three additional characteristics unique to romantic relationships are: 1)COMMITMENT (the intention to remain in the relationship even if trouble occurs) 2)PASSION (intensely positive feelings of attraction that make you want to be with the other person) 3)INTIMACY (sustained feelings of closeness and connection)
STUDY EQUIVOCATE.
Use purposefully vague language to finesse a response. For example: if asked how we like a gift given to us, we might reply, "It's really special," when what we really think is that it is tasteless.
EQUIVOCATE.
Use purposefully vague language to finesse a response.For example, if asked how we like a gift given to us, we might reply, "It's really special," when what we really think is that it is tasteless.
Red flag words.
Words that trigger emotional deafness, dropping listening efficiency to zero. AIDS, spatic, Income tax etc. Too hot, Too cold, to messy. etc.
Groups.
a collection of individuals who interact verbally and nonverbally, occupy certain roles with respect to one another, and cooperate to accomplish a goal.
The abuse cycle (4 stages).
dysfunctional relationships move through a series of stages. 1. Tension Builds 2. Anger Explosion 3. Apology and remorse 4. Lull: The Calm before the next storm.
Groupthink symptoms that can damage a group's ability to reach good decision.
1.Illusion of Invulnerability 2.Rationalization 3.Mind-Guarding 4.Stereotyping Those Opposed 5. Self-Censorship 6.Assumption of Morality 7. Illusion of Unanimity 8.Pressure to Conform
Know the 5 difference process of relationship dissolution by Steve Duck and Julia Wood.
5 difference process of relationship dissolution: (1) Intrapsychic Processes (2) Dyadic Processes (3) Social Support Processes (4) Grave-Dressing Processes (5) Resurrection Processes
Competitive goal structure.
A goal structure in which members hinder one another's efforts to obtain a goal. Situation that occurs when one person is successful in reaching his or her goals when others are unsuccessful.
The Y leader.
A leader who displays trust in group members and is concerned with their sense of personal achievement. The type Y leader is more of a risk taker than the type X leader.
The X leader.
A leader who does not trust group members to work and is unconcerned with the personal achievements of group members.
Depth.
A measure of how central the topics you discuss with another person are to your self-concept.
Supportive Feedback.
A nonevaluative response indicating that the receiver perceives a problem as important.
Understanding.
A nonevaluative response that uses restatement to check comprehension and we check ourselves by restating what we believe we have heard.
Probing
A nonevaluative technique in which we ask for additional information to draw them out and to demonstrate our willingness to listen to their problems.
Evaluative Feedback
A positive or negative judgment.
Grapevine
A type of informal, conversational network existing in organizations. Used to refer to the circulation of rumors and unofficial information.
The attraction factor in relationships
Among the variables consistently named as factors in attraction are: 1) Attractiveness (Not Surprisingly) 2) Proximity 3) Similarity, 4) Reinforcement, 5) Complementarity.
Study Serial Communication.
Chain of Command transition to relay messages. In serial communication, person 1 sends a message to person 2; person 2 then communicates his or her perception of person 1's message (not person 1's message itself) to person 3, who continues the process.
PHATIC COMMUNICATION.
Communication designed to open the channels of communication.
Interpersonal Conflict.
Conflict between two or more people.
ILLUSION OF UNANIMITY
Differences of opinion are not discussed; thus, members assume all agree even when such agreement has gone unstated.
Serial construction of meaning model.
Duck's observation that Commonality, Mutuality, and The Equivalence Of Our Evaluation result in shared meaning.
RESURRECTION PROCESSES.
During which they enter and move forward in a future, minus their former partner.
GRAVE-DRESSING PROCESSES.
During which they figure out what explanation for the breakup they will give to friends, children, co-workers, and others;
PEOPLE ORIENTED LISTENERS.
Focused on emotions and connections, interest in others and concern for their feelings.
CONTENT ORIENTED LISTENERS.
Focused on what is said than the people involved or their feelings.
Friends with benefits (FWB)
Friends who share a sexual relationship in addition to friendship.
Illusion of Invulnerability
Group members believe they are virtually beyond harm. They believe they are invulnerable, making them even more vulnerable to excessive risk-taking.
INTRAPSYCHIC PROCESSES
In which partners brood about problems and their dissatisfaction with the relationship.
SOCIAL SUPPORT PROCESSES
In which the parties air their relationship's dirty laundry for others outside the relationship, expecting those they know to choose sides
DYADIC PROCESSES
In which the rules and established patterns governing the relationship break down ("You don't send me flowers any more")
Intrapersonal conflict.
Internal conflict
Frenemy.
Is someone about whom we have ambivalent feelings; their intentions confuse us.
EMPATHIC LISTENING
Listening To help others.
APPRECIATIVE LISTENING
Listening for enjoyment or relaxation
Dialogic listening.
Listening that focuses on what happens to people as they respond to each other,work toward shared understanding, and build a relationship.
CRITICAL LISTENING
Listening to evaluate the worth of a message
COMPREHENSIVE LISTENING
Listening to gain knowledge.
THE STEPS OF COMMUNICATION
Most conversations follow a 5-step pattern (1) open (2) provide feedforward--(phatic comunication) (3) elaborate on your goal (4) reflect back on what you have said (5) close.
Gossip mill
Network through which unverified information is spread. Perhaps gossip is so prevalent in society because we are addicted to it.
"I" MESSAGES.
Nonevaluative responses that convey our feelings about the nature of a situation. Clear, non-accusatory statement of how something is affecting you.
THE REMEMBERING STAGE
Once our brain assigns meaning to a message, the next stage is remembering, in which we try to retain what we have listened to for future use.
Flames
Online insults. When interacting online, in addition to interacting pleasantly, individuals can hurl insults, or flames, that feed interpersonal conflict.
EMOTIONAL ISOLATIONIST
Persons who seek to avoid situations that may require the exchange of feelings.
Quality circle
Small groups of employees who meet regularly to discuss organizational life and the quality of their work environment.
What are the Stages of Relationships
Stage 1: Initiating Stage 2:Experimenting Stage 3: Intensifying Stage 4:Integrating Stage 5: Bonding Stage 6:Differentiating Stage 7: Circumscribing Stage 8:Stagnating Stage 9: Avoiding Stage 10: Termination
THE EVALUATING STAGE
Stage five, evaluating, we weigh the worth of a message and critically analyze it. (Evaluating is a type of listening referred to earlier in this chapter as critical listening.)
THE UNDERSTANDING STAGE
Stage two, understanding, or listening comprehensively, we relate what we have listened to, to what we already know. We do not judge the message until we are certain we comprehend it. 2 SUB-STAGES HERE Red-flag words and Speech-thought differential
The stages of the grief process in order from 1-5.
The Grief Process. Before arriving at acceptance, a grieving person experiences a series of emotions. 1) Denial 2) Anger 3) Guilt 4) Depression 5) Acceptance
Know what each letter of the HURIER model stands for.
The HURIER Model (Stages of Listening). Hearing Understanding Remembering Interpreting Evaluating Responding
EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
The ability to motivate oneself, to control impulses, to recognize and regulate one's moods, to empathize, and to hope.
Role-limited Interaction.
The beginning stage of friendship.
EMOTIONAL CONTAGION
The catching of another person's mood. - According to psychologist ELAINE HATFIELD, we do this by unconsciously mirroring and/or imitating the moods and emotions of those with whom we interact.
COMPARISON LEVELS OF ALTERNATIVES
The comparing of rewards derived from a current relationship with ones we expect to get from an alternative relationship.
LISTENING
The deliberate, psychological process by which we receive, understand, and retain aural stimuli.
THE HEARING STAGE
The first stage of the listening process is hearing. Sounds fill our world and compete to be noticed.
THE INTERPRETING STAGE
The fourth stage, interpreting, we make sense of a message, using dual perspective taking—considering the message from the sender's perspective as well as our perspective.
Waning friendship.
The friendship stage during which friends begin to drift apart.
Stabilized friendship.
The friendship stage in which we decide that our friendship is secure and will continue.
Friendly Relations.
The friendship stage in which we explore whether we have enough in common to continue building a relationship.
Moving toward friendship.
The friendship stage in which we make small personal disclosures demonstrating the desire to expand our relationship.
Nascent friendship.
The friendship stage that finds us considering each other friends.
HEARING.
The involuntary, physiological process by which we perceive sound.
Kaleidoscope thinking.
The involves taking existing data and twisting it or looking at it from another angle in order to see and analyze the new patterns that appear. ROSABETH MOSS KANTER
THE RESPONDING STAGE
The last stage, responding, we react to what we have listened to and offer feedback to let the speaker know our thoughts and feelings about the message.
Study control.
The need to feel we are capable and responsible and are able to exert power and influence in our relationships.
Breadth.
The number of topics one discusses with another person. Width; the distance or measurement from side to side of something.
Stage 8: Stagnating
The relationship stage during which communication is at a standstill.
Stage 1: Initiating
The relationship stage during which contact is first made.
Stage 9: Avoiding
The relationship stage during which the participants intentionally avoid contact.
Stage 10: Termination
The relationship stage during which the relationship ends.
Stage 3: Intensifying
The relationship stage during which two people become good friends.
Stage 2:Experimenting
The relationship stage during which we begin to probe the unknown, often through the exchange of small talk.
Stage 7: Circumscribing
The relationship stage in which both the quality and the quantity of communication between two people decrease.
Stage 4:Integrating
The relationship stage in which two people are identified as a couple.
Stage 6:Differentiating
The relationship stage in which two people identified as a couple seek to regain unique identities.
Stage 5: Bonding
The relationship stage in which two people make a formal commitment to each other.
SOCIAL PENETRATION THEORY.
The theory that states that our relationships begin with relatively narrow breadth and shallow depth and develop over time.
Cost benefit/social exchange theory.
The theory that we work to maintain a relationship as long as the benefits we receive outweigh the costs.
The 4 types of listening.
The type of listening we engage in should relate to our purpose for listening 1-) Appreciative 2-) Comprehensive 3-) Critical 4-) Empathic
COMPARISONS LEVELS
An expectation of the kinds of rewards and profits we believe we ought to derive from a relationship.
Groupthink.
An extreme means of avoiding conflict that occurs when groups let the desire for consensus override careful analysis and reasoned decision making.
Self-directed teams
Autonomous groups of employees empowered to make decisions and supervise themselves.
Study Avoiders.
Avoiders figuratively wear earmuffs; they close their ears to information they would rather not deal with. Sometimes they pretend not to understand what you tell them or act as if they did not hear you at all. Sometimes they simply forget, in short order, what you have told them.
The stage of friendship.
Bill Rawlins's six-stage model depicts how friendships develop. (See Figure 8.1.) 1. Role-limited Interaction 2. Friendly Relations 3. Moving toward friendship 4. Nascent friendship 5. Stabilized friendship 6. Waning friendship
The stages of friendships.
Bill Rawlins's six-stage model depicts how friendships develop. (See Figure 8.1.) 1. Role-limited Interaction 2. Friendly Relations 3. Moving toward friendship 4. Nascent friendship 5. Stabilized friendship 6. Waning friendship
ASSUMPTION OF MORALITY
Members believe in the inherent goodness of their actions or cause. Therefore any opposition is perceived as immoral.
SELF-CENSORSHIP
Members do not voice their doubts or concerns.
RATIONALIZATION
Members find reasons to disregard any warning, potential problem, or negative information.
STEREOTYPING THOSE OPPOSED
Members have an "us versus them" mind-set; they view those who disagree with them as weak, foolish and not worthy of serious consideration.
MIND-GUARDING
Members protect the leader and one another from hearing or being notified about adverse information or potential problems that could shatter the status quo.
Pressure to Conform
Members put real pressure on one another to agree, to go along with the group, to be a team player.
HURTFUL MESSAGE.
Messages designed to upset or to cause emotional pain that further hampers trust.
The stages of Relationship.
Relationship stages are 10: Stage 1: Initiating Stage 2:Experimenting Stage 3: Intensifying Stage 4:Integrating Stage 5: Bonding Stage 6:Differentiating Stage 7: Circumscribing Stage 8:Stagnating Stage 9: Avoiding Stage 10: Termination
Friendship
Relationships characterized by enjoyment, acceptance, trust, respect, mutual assistance, confidences, understanding, and spontaneity.
The stages of relationships: Developmental Model
Relationships pass through a number of stages as they strengthen, stabilize, or dissolve. The stage of your relationship determines the nature of your talk, either by limiting conversation to safe topics or allowing probing questions in the effort to discover more about each other.
"YOU" MESSAGES.
Responses that place blame on another person. Sound negative and accusatory; I messages are better.
Paraphrasing.
Restating in one's own words what another person has said. Is a 3 step process in which you do the following: 1-) Make a tentative statement that invites correction—for example, "If I'm not mistaken ..." 2-)Repeat the basic idea in your own words. 3-)Check your interpretation with the other person, saying something like, "Is that correct?"
THE COMMUNICATION PRIVACY MANAGEMENT THEORY
Theory that describes the establishment of the boundaries and borders that we decide others may or may not cross.
