Lumen Waymaker Writing Process
Many instructors ask students to paraphrase and summarize sources used in an essay more often than quoting sources. Why?
A lot of direct quotes can confuse the reader, and paraphrasing and summarizing lets the author's own voice guide the discussion.
Of the following two sources about poverty and welfare reform, which source would be more effectively summarized than quoted in a research essay, and why? A comprehensive study done in Chicago's inner city over 30 years, tracking the poor and their reliance on welfare. A major welfare reform activist who argues that decreasing America's reliance on welfare will lead directly to a significant lessening of our national debt.
A, because all of the data might confuse the reader, and because it's often effective to quote an expert like in B.
Which of the following excerpts is the more effective example of using personal experience in an essay? While international adoption has become controversial, often it has no detrimental effect on the child or family at all. My sister was adopted from China when she was two. She clung to us the moment we got her, and called my parents "Ma" and "Da" within a few weeks. As she grew up, she shrugged when people called her out for looking different, and she says "Why would I want to find two total strangers in a different country? My parents are here." The anti-international adoption groups don't often consider the many, many strong bonds that happen in internationally-adoptive families. I was raised in a divorced family, and my experience is that often parents use money to compensate for not being there. I had everything I needed. I was spoiled, bratty, and selfish, and often acted like a kid in a candy store who didn't have any money. I wanted for nothing and had a room stuffed full of toys that I never played with.
A, because this excerpt provides specific details and the last part explains how the story relates to the paper's main point
Two students are writing journal entries about the process they're using to come up with a topic for their research essay. Based on the excerpts below, which one is most likely to find a topic that will yield a strong, effective research paper? (Note: entries are abridged, and ellipses indicate that they were written on different days.) A. This is my very first college-level research paper and I feel totally overwhelmed. I guess what confuses me most is who is supposed to be the audience? I mean, my instructor will read it, but who else?...clarified this question with my instructor: she said to write it as though it would be published in a journal to be read by my academic peers. That helps. So. We're supposed to write about an environmental issue and I'm embarrassed to say that I've done a list of possible topics and none of them interest me....i'm looking through my class notes and forgot that we talked about recycling programs. Everyone loves recycling. I once saw a recycling truck at the landfill, just tossing stuff in and that made me wonder if recycling programs always save money and resources? B. I have been assigned the topic of modern-day food production and I'm supposed to look at one part of that topic and choose a problem to analyze. The great thing is that I grew up on a farm, so I have a lot of experience there....I was thinking today about my childhood experiences on the farm. Farming is a precarious way to make a living especially now that food production is mostly large-scale. I was always up by 5 to get my farm chores done. The worst one for me was mucking out the stalls, followed by pulling weeds on really hot days...I've been thinking more about farming and what it means to me. I'd love to have my kids grow up on a farm.
A., because this student looks for ways to personalize her topic and looks for ways to narrow it down to something manageable.
Your friend has made the following plan to help her revise for lower-order concerns: "First, proofread for grammatical errors. Second, re-evaluate my thesis statement and overall structure. Third, run the spell-checker" What piece of feedback would be the most helpful for her?
Analyzing for audience is a good idea, but it is a higher-order concern and should be done first.
Emmanuel is ready to assess his essay's higher order concerns. Which of these activities will help him do this, and why?
Analyzing his purpose for writing the paper, so that he can align his content with this overall purpose
Below is a passage from a scholarly article and excerpts from two student papers that draw on this material. Analyze these student papers. Which one uses the source material more effectively and why? Original source Research shows that the incidence of colon cancer is higher in active smokers compared to those who have stopped smoking; hence, smoking cessation is important for those who wish to decrease their likelihood of developing colon cancer. Aspirin taken daily reduces not only the incidence of both colon polyps and colon cancer but of cancer of the stomach and esophagus as well. It is felt that one coated adult aspirin (325 mg) daily is adequate for the purpose of preventing colon cancer. Aspirin interferes in prostaglandin metabolism and this seems to be the mechanism for it preventing cancer as well as cardiovascular disease. - by David Marconi Student excerpt A According to Marconi, Research have showed that colon cancer is higher in active smokers compared to those who have stopped smoking" (45). That means that if you want to not get polyps "smoking cessation is important for those who wish to decrease their likelihood of developing colon cancer" (45). Student excerpt B Research shows a strong connection between quitting smoking and a decreased risk for colon cancer. Marconi also argues that a daily dose of aspirin can help decrease the risk of colon cancer and polyps, as well as of other cancers. He notes that aspirin seems to prevent a certain function called prostaglandin metabolism, which is the cause (Marconi 45).
B uses the material more effectively, because this material is well-suited to being paraphrased, and because A employs quotes haphazardly and ungrammatically
Evaluate these two thesis statements. Which one is stronger, and why? The local government is comprised of the mayor, the people he elects to help him, and the police, who work hard in the community to keep the peace and are elected either every two years or every four years, so they should work harder to enforce drug-dealing laws. While e-learning has been criticized for isolating learners and not letting them make the social connections essential for real learning, most recent studies show that e-learning actually strengthens learners' social skills.
B, because it is a claim that is provable by research, while A's claim is much too vague.
Which of these working thesis statements do you evaluate to be stronger, and why? The American character has weakened because it lacks the qualities that George Washington believed were essential to the stability and success of the United States of America. Three of the qualities are morality, unity, and patriotism. While the Merlin of the popular Arthurian legends is certainly fictional, historical records suggest that he was based on a composite of three real men: King Aelfred of Britain, his advisor Ethelfred, and a mysterious traveler of the time whose name is unknown.
B, because its claim is narrow and provable by research
Moira created an outline for her Composition I final essay that includes an introduction with a thesis at the end of it (although it is unpopular, the U.S. must continue to occupy Iraq for the foreseeable future in order to prevent its total economic collapse). She organized three body paragraphs, each with a reason that proves her thesis, and jotted some ideas for a conclusion at the end. What is the most effective feedback you can offer Moira?
College-level papers require a more organic structure, and your paper should accomplish more ambitious goals than those you can accomplish in this five-paragraph essay structure.
You are helping your classmate Navaeh by reviewing her plan to find a focus for her essay. She will create some journal entries on her topic, look it up in Google, and talk to her friends about it. Which of the following would be the most effective feedback to give her?
Enter your topic into more specialized sites such as Google Scholar, and look at a variety of types of sources, like investigative journalism and op-eds.
Vaughan is writing a numbered list of his essay's paragraphs and summarizing each paragraph in a sentence on that numbered list. What is this activity helping him accomplish?
Evaluating for clarity and cohesion
Shelonda is writing an essay arguing that the current laws that ban tobacco advertisements should be updated because today's teens access information online, not just from TV, radio, and print material. Her friend Phil asks her, "couldn't that also be used as an argument that these laws should be done away with entirely?" How is Phil helping Shelonda strengthen her paper?
He is helping her formulate a logical argument by proposing objections to her thesis, so she can respond to those in her essay.
Emiliano cannot seem to get over his writer's block. He's trying to write an introduction to his paper about the paparazzi and privacy laws. Which of the following tactics should he try, and why?
He should try writing the introduction after he's drafted the body of his essay, so that he has a better sense of what he's introducing.
If you are drafting an effective conclusion, which of these activities are you most likely doing?
Jotting down a personal experience you had with your essay topic, how it affected you, and a solution for the problem your essay presents.
Kyana has been given the topic "hate crimes" for an essay. She writes in her journal, "I have never been the victim of a hate crime, but when my uncle came out as gay ten years ago, he was fired from his position as a security officer. They claimed it was work-related, but didn't say anything specific. At the time, it was too expensive for my uncle to sue them, so he just got a different job." How does this journal entry relate to her essay topic?
Kyana is doing the work of personalizing her topic.
Which plan, outlined below, will give you the best chance of narrowing your topic to something that is appropriate for a research essay?
Look up topic in encyclopedias, note how topic has been broken down, and research some of these sub-topics
Marta has two windows open on her computer. She is copying information from one screen to another, highlighting sections and making notes to add more information, and organizing chunks of this information. What is Marta most likely doing?
Marta is drafting.
Your peer has written the following sentence. Which piece of feedback would be the most helpful for him? "When a student takes advantage of the services of the campus-based medical office, the limitations of these offices frequently cause them to resort to recommending the student to off campus mental care offices, and a student that is uninsured may then experience difficulties in pursuing the recommended treatment due to economic constraints."
Remove unnecessary words and use stronger verbs so that this sentence is easier to understand.
How would you differentiate these two activities? Ron reviews his class notes to see what kinds of lectures the instructor has given about his topic idea. He then takes the keywords from three of these lectures and looks them up in an encyclopedia. This activity yields more keywords that he enters into a library database. Avi reviews some notes he took from a discussion he had with his friend about an incident they lived through that relates to his topic idea. He then writes a quick paragraph about the incident and how it affected him.
Ron is narrowing down his topic, and Avi is personalizing his topic.
Which of the following strategy is most likely to reveal spelling errors?
Run your spell-checker, and also proofread for words that are easy to mix up, like homophones.
Wynne considers the first draft the hardest to write, because she re-reads and polishes every sentence as she drafts. What kinds of problems, if any, is she likely to encounter with this process?
She may not get her best ideas on paper, because editing slows the flow of thought.
Lynne received four pieces of feedback from a class peer review that she thinks are wrong. Which of the following strategies should she employ to respond to these comments and eventually become a more skilled writer?
She should evaluate why she disagrees with the peer reviewer and create a list of reasons in her defense.
Naomi has chosen the topic of politicians and their fund-raising for a topic. Her pre-writing included making lists of her initial ideas and pre-writing. She did some pre-research on Google and created an informal outline. She wrote her first draft as carefully as she could, and it took her four hours. Now she has a draft, but does not know how to improve it. What, if anything, should she have done differently?
She should have written her first draft very quickly to get down all her ideas.
Lynne is presenting a paper that discusses the pros of British colonialism in India. In her audience will be a number of people who believe, from personal first- or second-hand experience, that this period of time was detrimental to the local population. Which of the following pieces of evidence would you encourage her to include, and why?
She should include accounts from that time period that are both pro- and anti-British colonialism, and devote time to showing that she understands why so many people were anti-, in order to show her audience that she understands both sides.
Your friend Jane has never participated in a peer workshop before. Which of the following pieces of advice will best help her make this an effective revising activity for her and her peers?
She should offer her own reactions to others' essays, such as "this didn't make sense to me" or "this part really interested me."
Mimi has just written a forty-five minute "flash draft" of her research essay. What should she do next?
She should put the draft aside for a day so she can look at it with fresh eyes
What is described by the list "a main argument that is summed up by thesis statement; a section that lists objections to that argument; and a reply or rebuttal section"?
The minimal components that make up an effective research essay body
Your classmate Craig has written the following working thesis: "Loggers and colonists are destroying acres of our natural rainforests, despite these facts: many species of medicinal plants are becoming extinct, they are destroying the habitats of thousands of species of rainforest animals, and they are disrupting the life of the indigenous people who live there." What revisions would you suggest, if any, to strengthen this working thesis?
This is a great topic, but I don't see that you have a claim. This paper will read like a report.
Analyze this paragraph from the body of a research paper. Is it an effective paragraph? Why or why not? Daniel J. Pfeifer, the author of "Smoking Gun: The Moral and Legal Struggle for Medical Marijuana," says, "according to the American Medical Association, when a physician believes a law is unjust, he or she should work to change the law. If a patient in suffering from pain and medical marijuana is one option a physician may prescribe, then he must maintain his or her wellbeing and health." Daniel J. Pfeifer further says, "Ultimately, the federal government's prohibition on access to and use of medical marijuana to alleviate pain in terminally ill patients infringes upon their autonomy, which includes their rights to live and avoid severe physical suffering, the right to receive medical treatment, and the right to die with the dignity that comes from one's own choices." (Daniel J. Pfeifer 341)
This paragraph lacks purpose, and could be strengthened with a key sentence
Read the student excerpt below and decide which lower-order concern this student most needs to revise for. Pornography seriously affects studies and works. Pornography deliveries the addictive qualities of alcohol, tobacco and also of the drugs. Bensimon said "long-term exposure to pornography has an addictive effect and leads offenders to minimize the violence in the acts they commit" (101). The more that various persons watch pornography, the more that that desire to watch it is growing. Therefore, they cannot be concentrate on important things such as study and works. Furthermore, their grade will be drop and school became lesser importance. Ability to stop at watching it pornography takes a lot of effort.
This student most needs to revise for grammatical issues
Which of these two students is working to revise punctuation issues most effectively--or are they both equally effective strategies? Vanya is looking for semicolons and colons, and looking for where she's used "their." "there," and "they're." Tanner is making changes to his paper based on an earlier peer review, and is also checking for two independent clauses joined by commas.
Vanya's is more effective, because while Tanner's peer review changes are a good idea, that strategy won't help him identify punctuation problems
You are doing some background research on the topic of maternal vs. paternal leave. Which of the following questions should you ask to make the best use of your pre-research time?
What significant recurring terms do I see as I scan documents on this topic?
Gita has created a color-coded list as an outline for her paper. Is this outline likely to lead to a strong research essay or not?
Yes, because an outline can take many forms; its main purpose is to provide structure from which an author can build a draft.
Juan has created a series of very messy, disorganized notes on his essay topic, the social ritual of hazing. Some of his notes have nothing to do with his topic. Do you think that Juan has spent his time well or not?
Yes, because prewriting is messy and non-linear, and we cannot always predict where prewriting will end up.
What's the most effective advice for a student who has written the following passage? Not everyone thinks that school vouchers are a good idea. "These vouchers are the worst idea to ever come through this state. They will ruin the democratic process" (Smith 33). "Vouchers mean that school districts can no longer predict the flow of money and resources and that affects kids directly" (Garcias 199).
You need to provide context for your quotes so we know why you're including them.
Youssef, your classmate, clearly does not want to engage with you in a peer workshop. Consider this problem. Which is a likely cause and best solution to the situation?
Youssef may feel uncomfortable with offering critique in case it is taken as mean. Assure him that you know your paper needs work and ask for help in specific areas.
