Relating with Parents

As with any business transaction, parents have expectations of the child care facility they choose. Common expectations are:

A safe physical setting, free of danger, that still allows for discovery A supervised setting where trained child care providers attend to every child's needs An atmosphere that allows the child to question, explore, and develop a positive self-image Nonjudgmental attitudes about family customs, parenting techniques, or job schedules Open communication and feedback about the child's daily experiences and development To work mutually on the child's physical or emotional problems, if necessary To be able to visit and observe the facility at any time Written policies, procedures, and rules Clearly stated policies regarding holidays, absences, drop-off/pick-up times, and illness Notice of schedule changes or termination of care

Child care facilities need clearly stated policies regarding which of the following?

Absences and illness

Which of the following are child care providers' responsibilities for establishing a good relationship with parents?

Being able to negotiate and solve problems

Parents often believe that they are the only ones who can care for their child properly. When a child starts to bond with a child care provider, the parents can become jealous and possessive of the new relationship and may feel confused. On the one hand, they are happy that their child is adjusting to the child care provider, but on the other hand, they feel threatened that they could be replaced.

Child care providers can also have possessive feelings as they form attachments to the children in their care. Remember, they chose their job because they love children. Sometimes it is difficult for the child care provider to understand the parent's actions and feelings. They think that the parent should be happy that their child is adjusting well. Possessive feelings can be lessened by open discussion. Parents and child care providers should know that their feelings are normal. Discussing possessive feelings with parents during an open house or a conference are good ways to approach the subject.

At least once a week, talk to the parents face-to-face. Report their child's progress and suggest ways that the child can continue to improve. If you are having discipline problems with the child, discuss the problems with the parents immediately. Do not allow problems to escalate.

Child care providers can help parents attend conferences by: Giving parents conference planning sheets outlining questions that they might want to ask Providing flexible conference times in order to give working parents choices Compiling folders with samples of their child's work and any additional information to share

When child care providers are communicating with parents, they should address them by name and speak in a pleasant voice. This action personalizes the parent/provider relationship and helps make the parents feel valued.

Child care providers should also maintain a professional appearance to help parents feel comfortable and confident about their abilities.

Child care providers create good working relationships by communicating with parents daily, being accessible to parents, and understanding normal anxieties and tensions.

Communication may include notes, phone calls, conferences, and personal visits. Offer parents opportunities to become involved, and allow them to volunteer whenever they can.

As a child care provider, it is essential to establish good relationships with parents. Children benefit when the child care provider works closely with their parents.

Constant communication between child care providers and parents helps children transition easily to a positive caring environment outside the home.

It is important for child care providers to work closely with parents. Developing and maintaining good working relationships gains parents' trust and can help stop many problems before they start.

Every relationship relies heavily on communication. Parent and child care provider relationships are no exception—effective child care requires frequent communication between child care providers and parents.

Brochures and written contracts are too formal for a child care setting and should be avoided.

False

Parents may become angry if a child care provider is unable to find an immediate solution to a parent's concern. Remember that anger can be defused with sympathy. Child care providers should tell the parents that they understand their feelings and that they are going to continue to work until a solution can be found

For example, Tommy tells his parents that Johnny is bullying him every afternoon. The parents share this information with the child care provider and ask that she confront Johnny immediately to correct the behavior. The child care provider tells the parents that she has not witnessed the behavior, but she will monitor Johnny closely and intervene if or when he exhibits a bullying behavior. In this instance, the child care provider has stated a course of action that should solve the problem.

In order to avoid problems, child care providers need to ask questions that demonstrate interest and concern. By asking questions and clarifying statements, possible misunderstandings can be avoided, and parent expectations can be met.

For example, parents wonder which materials would be best suited to help their child learn the alphabet. A professional child care provider takes the time to ask the parents additional questions about types of materials the parents have at their disposal, such as books, flash cards, audio cassettes, television programs, videos, or computer games. After discussing possible options, the child care provider may demonstrate materials used in the classroom with success. Because of this discussion, the child care provider is now viewed as a problem solver and resource by the parents.

Both parents and child care providers have insecurities and tensions. This happens for many reasons. Parents do not to want to give up their roles as caregivers; however, due to the demands of work schedules, they have to allow child care providers to handle the daily activities that they normally handle.

Giving up parental time may cause jealous feelings towards the child care provider. Child care providers may also feel insecure. They chose their profession because they relate well to children, but they may feel underpaid, overworked, and unappreciated. Tension can also be caused by: Possessive feelings Parental expectations Normal separation anxieties Defensiveness

Several things can be done to help alleviate insecurities and tensions. Talk openly with parents and view the situation from their point of view. If child care providers do this, parents' perspectives will broaden, and they will become more objective and less defensive.

It is important to listen and repeat the parents' statements back to them for verification. Working with parents to resolve situations makes finding solutions easier, and teaming child care providers with parents ultimately benefits the children.

Child care providers' responsibilities include:

Knowing each child and parent personally Being able to negotiate and solve problems Allowing for cultural and family differences Communicating daily with the parent Providing parental support

Which of the following are important strategies for maintaining open communication with parents?

Listen effectively

Normal separation anxieties also cause tension. Sometimes parents feel guilty because they cannot spend the day with their child, and many have the natural fear that their child may not be safe outside of their presence. Some may also have feelings of inadequacy and perceptions that others think they are bad parents.

Minimize these anxieties by talking with the parent. Give the parents support and explain to them that it is normal to feel the way they do. Most of the time, parents will feel better just from knowing that their feelings are not unique and that all parents, at one time or another, have felt the way they do.

Other means of communicating with parents are:

Newsletters listing weekly activities and upcoming events A list of daily activities posted on a bulletin board or facility wall Individual weekly notes sent home that briefly describe activities enjoyed or skills mastered by their child Free or low-cost pamphlets on child development, discipline, and nutrition

Parents often have specific ideas about their child's care. Some parents desire constant structured activities at all times, while others want their child to have more creative free time.

One possible solution would be to discuss schedules with individual parents and try to provide options that accommodate the parents' expectations.

Parents may become defensive if their child does something wrong. They may feel that their child's actions are a direct reflection of their parenting skills, and they may begin to feel inadequate and judged.

Parents want child care providers to think they are excellent parents; therefore, child care providers should make parents feel competent in order to lessen their defensiveness. Telling the parents they are doing a good job helps to reduce guilty feelings. State specific things that the parents are doing right. The parents will begin to feel capable and less threatened. The child care provider will feel less defensive when the parents show signs of appreciation for the care given to their child.

To establish good relationships, both child care providers and parents have significant responsibilities.

Parents' responsibilities include: Discussing their cares and concerns Identifying their child care preferences Establishing a trusting relationship with child care providers Actively participating in the child care program Communicating respectfully when upset

Which of the following is a way child care providers can help parents attend conferences?

Provide flexible scheduling to accommodate parents' work schedules

Always attempt to negotiate solutions with parents. Identify problems and discuss them. Ask parents to help come up with possible solutions. Make a list of all possibilities, even if some may seem ridiculous or unreasonable. Careful consideration of each potential solution usually leads to finding a workable one.

Realize that sometimes it is difficult to find a solution that is agreeable to everyone. This forces further negotiations or a compromise.

Every successful child care facility uses sound business practices.

Satisfied parents and well-cared-for children help the child care facility's business grow. Every employee at the facility has to be customer-friendly.

Child care providers who establish good relationships with parents help children feel cared for and secure. Parents and child care providers need to be consistent when handling children's daily needs.

Studies have shown that children are more comfortable and feel more confident when they can rely on parents and child care providers to do things the same way. Being consistent is the key to a child's success in a child care setting. When parents and child care providers communicate well and show consistency, children succeed.

Child care providers interact directly with parents every day.

The methods of communicating with parents determine the success of the child care facility. If good communication is not established, and parents feel that problems are not resolved, they will take their children elsewhere. What you say and do for parents is important. They want you to be a problem solver.

Child care facilities are businesses that provide parents a service. Owners, program directors, and employees all earn income from that service.

Therefore, it is important that all employees relate to parents on a professional level and use sound business practices. Parents need to know what they can expect from their child care provider, and what is expected of them. Being professional and operating a child care facility in a businesslike manner means good service is provided to parents and the children in the facility.

Parents need to know the child care facility's guidelines and procedures. It is important that they receive a written brochure or handbook when they first enroll their child.

This brochure or handbook should contain the following information: Days and hours of operation Pick-up and drop-off times and procedures Tuition and any additional fees Policies on illness and medication Discipline policies Sample meal and snack menus Sample schedule of daily routines and activities What is expected of parents

Parents view their child care payment as important, and they may expect something more than just standard service in return.

This is especially true if a mistake is made. If mistakes happen, always try to do more than the parents expect. It is better to exceed their expectations than to fall short.

Child care provider's methods of communicating with parents determine the success of the facility.

True

Tension between parents and child care providers is often the result of insecurities held by either or both parties.

True

Sound business practices that should be used in a child care facility include:

Understanding parental needs Asking the parent questions Working at building good parent/child care provider relationships Offering suggestions and advice Finding workable solutions to problems Exceeding parental expectations

Communication is the most effective way to maintain relationships with parents.

When communicating with parents, important strategies to remember are to listen effectively, say what you mean, and negotiate solutions. Do not be aggressive or accusatory in any way. Send messages that will not make parents defensive, but rather encourage open communication. An example of an accusatory statement is: "Why are you always taking advantage of me by picking Sally up late? Do you think I do not have other responsibilities too?" A non-aggressive way of expressing the same idea would be: "I have a difficult time when Sally is not picked up on time. I have other responsibilities to attend to after I have completed my responsibilities here. What can we do to resolve this in the future?"

Brochures or handbooks and written contracts are professional ways to inform parents of services they can expect.

Written contracts are helpful, because if parents know expectations, there is less chance for misunderstandings later. The contract should include some of the same information contained in the brochure or handbook, but not as detailed. It should explain services, the payment schedule, and procedures for terminating services. Standard contract forms can be purchased from different child care regulating agencies or family child care associations.

Which of the following should be included in written contracts with parents?

a. Emergency plans for the facility *b. Payment schedule *c. Procedures for terminating services *d. Services provided e. Child care provider's home address and phone number

Which of the following are sound business practices that should be used in a child care facility?

a. Having reasonable payment plans *b. Finding workable solutions to problems *c. Building relationships with parents d. Limiting questioning of parents

Which of the following are child care providers' responsibilities for establishing a good relationship with parents?

a. Identifying their child care preferences *b. Allowing for cultural and family differences *c. Being able to negotiate and solve problems d. Communicating respectively when upset

Which of the following items are common parental expectations of a child care facility?

a. Policies, procedures, and rules modified to meet their child's needs b. Flexible hours of operation to accommodate the parents' needs *c. A safe, supervised physical setting *d. Open communication and feedback about the child's daily experiences and development

Which of the following are important strategies for maintaining open communication with parents?

a. Provide parents with caregivers' home telephone numbers *b. Listen effectively c. Communicate when necessary *d. Say what you mean *e. Negotiate solutions f. Take control of every conversation

Which of the following are causes of tension between parents and child care providers?

a. Visiting the child care center *b. Parental expectations *c. Defensiveness d. Tardiness *e. Possessive feelings towards the children f. Communication

Child care providers are not expected to have a solution for every problem or an answer for every question;

however, they are expected to acknowledge a parent's concern and attempt to find a solution or refer the parent to another resource.

A parent struggling with separation anxiety may feel ______.

inadequate