There There - Jacquie Red Feather

How did Jacquie describe her drinking?

A fifth a night of anything that was $10.00 dollars or less.

But after that sobriety what did Jacquie turn to?

A fifth of whiskey a night

When was the first time this guy spoke at a conference?

About twenty years ago when he was a youth; it was his first time on an airplane and away from phoenix.

Why did they choose this guy for the DC Conference?

Because he was most at risk; not based on leadership or commitment to some cause or based on participation.

And Florencia smelled like?

Beer, cigarettes & perfume

What tattoos did Jacquie have?

Feather tattoos on her forearms, one for her mom and one for her sister; stars on the back of her hand - those were just stars; and the webs on her feet it hurt the worst.

What church did the man at the AA meeting say helped his addiction?

Native American Church meeting a friend took him to.

How do you abbreviate Indian?

Ndn, Jacquie had never seen that before and thought it was funny.

Without ever achieving sobriety what course did Jacquie complete?

She became a certified substance abuse counselor through an online course her job paid for.

What had Jacquie done recently to her hair?

She covered the gray with black and cut it into a short bob

What was her job at that time?

She drove an AC Transit bu, the 57 line, in and out of Oakland six days a week and drank herself into oblivion every night for six years

What did Jacquie do next?

She screamed for help and finally picked up Orvil and moved him through the crowd towards the entrance.

What did Jacquie think about the spider?

She thought maybe it would give Orvil special powers like Spider-man

What did Jacquie do with the minifridge with drinks in it?

She unplugged it and moved it into the hallway and told the front desk to come and get it

Why did Jacuqie want to drink that evening?

She wanted sleep to come easy like it would when she drank.

What did Jacquie do at a hotel when she was six and saw the sign "Heated Pool"?

She went into the water although she did not know how to swim but wanted to go under and open her eyes, look at her hands, what the bubbles rise over her face who was taking care of Jacquie's three grandchildren? Opal

Where did Jacquie go at the conference because she was craving a drink?

She went to an AA meeting.

What happened one day when she crashed her bus into a telephone pole?

She went to residential treatment; she left Oakland and ended up in Albuquerque.

What does Jacquie do when she sees Orvil's by looking for his regalia?

She's was walking toward the gunfire, then looked for Orvil's Regalia, then she moved towards him.

What did Jacquie remember in the bathroom?

The big hole; her daughter's emaciated body

After swimming Jacquie grabbed some alcohol out of the minifridge and did what with it?

Threw it into the pool.

What event was Jacquie flying to ?

To a Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration Conference from Albuquerque to Phoenix

What did Jacquie consider Native Decor?

Tribal patterns in the metal lighting; kokopellis, zigzag. lines; geometric shapes; paint was brownish red of dried blood.

What does the white man dictate?

First give me the land, then your attention, until you forget how to give it. Until your eyes are drained and you can't see behind you and there's nothing ahead, and the needle, bottle, or pipe is the only thing in sight.

The woman's name at the hotel was what?

Florencia

What does Jacquie do?

Harvey tries to push her down but she walks towards the sounds because she remembered seeing Orvil in the grand Entry

What were the white men called?

Look up Tall White Guys in the desert of Arizona; they're called Tall Whites, aliens, no joke.

What were career people concerned with?

More driven and concerned about keeping their jobs, about the funders and grant requirements thank by the need to help Indian families.

How did Jacquie describe the conference crowd of 200 people?

Mostly old Indian women; next old white women; then old Indian men; career people.

What does this guy question?

How do we instill in our children the will to live

What do the boys say in response to her question?

Lony points towards parking lot.

How many relatives of this guy's died from suicide?

15 no counting his brother

How many suicides in his community in 8 months?

17

What is the longest Jacquie has been sober at this point?

6 months sober

What did Jacquie originally think was going on?

A performance Art piece; like a massacre with people in regalia.

How does Harvey describe alcohol and Indians?

Alcohol and Indians are in a special relationship; It cheap, available and legal

How did Jacquie describe the makeup of the AA group?

All were older Native guys with long hair; two with baseball hats and the leader with a cowboy hat.

What job did Jacquie get?

As a receptionist at Indian Health Clinic funded by Indian Health Services

What was Opal's text about?

Asking Jacquie if she ever had spider legs; Opal said she did when they left Ronald; she said she didn't 154

What were the colors of Orvil's regalia?

Bright Orange, in particular pink orange you don't normally see in regalia.

What does Jacquie hear at the powwow?

Bullets, the boom and whizzing

What happened during that time after Jamie moved out?

Drinking horror stories; her daughter died and left three Sons behind.

How long did Jacquie carry daughter?

For just six months

Why was this guy at the first conference?

Forced into a program as part of a plea bargain to stay out of juvie. That program ended up being featured in a Conference in DC ; a national highlight.

What kind of car does Opal drive?

Ford Bronco

What did Harvey ask Jacquie to do?

Go to Oakland with him; it's a free ride; he says he's sorry for all that happen to Jacquie but he would try to help now to make it better.

After hearing from this guy what did Jacquie do?

Go to the bathroom and sob

What is the beginning of the Serenity prayer at AA?

God, grant me the serenity.

Who goes with Opal and Jacquie and kids to the emergency room?

Harvey jumps in after Jacquie waves him over.

Who was the leader of the AA group?

Harvey; the guy she met on Alcatraz

What is Harvey's job at the Powwow?

He is an Emcee; likes to talk more than Jacquie.

What did Jacquie say the guy looked like that got up to speak at the conference?

He might be more comfortable on a street corner that at a conference; he wore Jordans and an Adidas tracksuit.

What finger did Jacquie break on the steering wheel?

Her pinkie

What does Jacquie think about as she goes to sleep?

Her teeth and needing to go to the dentist.

What was Orvil's condition when Jacquie found him?

His eyes were closed, he had a pulse; he looked white

What happened while Guy was at the DC conference?

His little Brother Harvey found his gun and shot himself in between the eyes; his brother was 14 years old.

What was considered home?

Home was the three of them anywhere safe for the night.

How does Jacquie introduce herself at the AA meeting?

I'm not an alcoholic; 11 days sober; I use to drink; but don't drink anymore

What did her text say to Opal?

If I come to Oakland, can I stay?

How does this relate to Alcatraz?

It only took five or six of them to take over as a performance art piece five years before it ever happened; it fascinated Jacquie

How did Jacquie make the connection of the spider home and web together?

Jacquie was the spider; the mini fridge was the web: home was to drink; to drink was the trap.

How did Jacquie describe fellow conference participants?

Just like her who gotten into the field of substance abuse, Prevention and mental health because they had been through it themselves and hoping to find meaning in their careers helping other people not make the same mistakes they had.

What was the conference title?

Keeping them From Harm

This latest "relapse" by Jacquie didn't do what this time?

Left burn holes in her life; she didn't lose her job; and hadn't wrecked her car.

How did Jacquie describe the big hole?

Like a third eye; or an empty third eye socket

Has Jacquie ever met her grandsons?

No, Jacquie and Opal had just recently been texting to each for the past few months

What did Opal text Jacquie about Orvil?

Orvil found spider legs in leg

When Jacquie went to the AA meeting who was saying a prayer?

Old Indian guy in a baseball cap praying while others flicked water out of a water bottle at the crowd

Where does Jacquie say she first began drinking?

On alcatraz island, in 1970 during the occupation, she stares at Harvey and calls him a piece-of-shit kid.

What did the boy's pictures say to Jacquie?

Opal by sending pictures of the three boys to Jacquie; was Opal trying to say "Come get them, they're yours"

Although Jacquie was thinking of the liquor store down the street, what did she buy instead of alcohol?

Pepsi and trail mix

What did Harvey think he might have slipped?

Peyote from the twins since they were Native American Church

What was the number of suicides among Indians?

Staffering

What was Jacquie's position?

Substance Abuse Counselor

What field did this guy go into after his brother's death?

Suicide prevention

What does Jacquie tell Harvey about the Tall Whites?

Tall Whites are controlling America now; comes off one website she was looking at

How many days was Jacquie sober?

Ten days

What memory did Jacquie have about Harvey?

That Harvey never met his dad; that on the day she left, He was in the freezing water; wasn't swimming; yelled for his brother Rocky; man was coming down the hill with a stick or bat towards the boys.

What is the story Harvey tells Jacquie?

That he got drunk with some Navajo twins; they stopped and drank and walked out into the desert where Harvey believes he ran into two very tall, very white guys, with White hair, but weren't old.

What did Harvey tell Jacquie about his life?

That he just found out he had a son; and that he wanted to find their daughter.

What does Harvey learn from Jacquie?

That her mom had died, and she gave birth to a girl; That she gave up for adoption; it was a closed adoption that Jacquie was 17 when she gave up baby girl and had a daughter named Jamie.

What did Jacquie make Harvey promise before she got in his truck on the trip?

That she didn't have to talk; she liked silence

What does the guy relay to the conference audience?

That we think suicide is to find ways for them to stop jumping and convince them that burning alive is better than leaving when the shit gets too hot for them to take; they are making the decision that it's better to be dead; and gone than to be alive in what we have here, this life the one we made for them, the one they inherited.

What did the boys think it was?

The boys think it means something in ndn.

Which grandson looked most like Jacquie's daughter Jamie?

The middle son; the older son looked Jacquie and Opal's Mom Vicky

Where was the big hole located?

The shot between the eyes

How do you describe Jacquie's yell for help?

The sound she makes is not a word. The sound she makes comes from below her feet, from the ground, and with the sound Jacquie lifts Orvil's body.

What phrase was Jacquie thinking about in front of her fridge?

The spider's web is the home and a trap. That she should not open the fridge.

How was Florencia like Jacquie?

They both went to work drunk

Who was the trickster spider that stole eyes?

Veho; that's what her mom told her

Who is also Veho?

Was the white man who came and made the old world Watch with his eyes.

What did Florencia call the poinsettia?

We call them Flores de noche buena; meaning flowers of the night because they bloom around Christmas time

What does Jacquie ask Loother and Lony?

Where Opal was.

What does Jacquie tell Harvey?

You can't really think you're gonna be the one who finally turns it all around for me. I would ****ing kill myself if you were the one to finally help; do you understand?

Who was absent from the conference crowd?

Young people.