Addictions - Porn & Sexual Compulsion
Liminal Space
"threshold" -when we are in-between with no obvious way to relieve tension -one way of putting our sexual struggles in the context of where we are in the biblical narratives arc -offers profound and powerful way to experience God and other people as we leave a place of easy answers and embrace: -community, vulnerability, dialogue, self-denial, loss, pain and uncertainty
Surfing for God: Soul Care approach / Soul Attentiveness
- stalk your triggers -interrogate your cravings -surf your urges -carry your tensions
How evangelicals talk: complicated
-When guilt becomes the motivator -shame issues already present -lead to defensive strategies -powerful associations that overshadow/outweigh God's purpose/intent for sexuality -misunderstood concepts of lust
Surfing for God: Soul Care approach / Soul Care
-bringing together your interior life with the rest of your life
Surfing for God: Soul Care approach /Soul Transformation
-evidence will likely be a decreased desire for porn and sexual compulsion but always include the positive traits of spiritual maturity
How evangelicals talk: more complicated
-having thoughts, feelings and biological reactions are difficult to control -really attracted to boyfriend/girlfriend, what do you do instead? -hard to avoid exposure -negative consequences
Healthy sexuality & porn
-sexual desire represents a legit desire on every level of what it means to be human -certain frustration needs to be managed -best to error on the side of caution when trying to make decisions on how to express as a sexual being -be kind to yourself in other ways
How evangelicals talk: overall healthy message of sex
-something valuable, God-given -not cheap and meaningless -something reserved for marriage -beautiful within context -God can restore any mistake
The broken promises of porn:
1. validation of our manhood without requiring strength 2. sexual fulfillment without relationships 3. intimacy without requiring risk or suffering 4. passion and life without connection to your soul 5. Power over women without responsibility and humility 6. comfort and care without depending on others
Brain & Porn
brain is hard-wired for a biological drive for procreation as one of it's highest priorities (rewards sexual behavior) -constant stimulation of porn both hijacks and numbs the reward circuit of the brain which creates a spiral affect that is not easy to get out of. -prevention is easier than a cure