Aversion

Very often underneath anger is a feeling of self-righteousness.

"I should be angry because look at what that person did." If you're not aware of the feeling of self-righteousness, if you don't become mindful of it, then it's like an underground spring which keeps feeding the anger.

Even more absurd than getting angry at a thought about something that has happened

(and is over) is getting angry at a thought about something that has not yet happened.

Full Definition of aversion

1 obsolete : the act of turning away 2 a : a feeling of repugnance toward something with a desire to avoid or turn from it <regards drunkenness with aversion> b : a settled dislike : antipathy <expressed an aversion to parties> c : a tendency to extinguish a behavior or to avoid a thing or situation and especially a usually pleasurable one because it is or has been associated with a noxious stimulus 3 : an object of aversion <inconstancy is my aversion — Jane Austen>

But we miss this again and again. We think about people and situations, and then have different emotional reactions, forgetting that it's just a thought in the mind.

A big cause of suffering in our lives happens when we take what arises in our minds too seriously. Somehow we get caught up in every thought and emotion that comes into our minds. When we can let them be just as they are and see them for what they are, there's a great deal more transparency and a greater lightness of being.

The force of compassion So your task is to find an energy source to motivate action that is more skillful than anger.

And there is one — the great energy of compassion. Compassion is active, it's not passive. It can move you to do things; it can fuel tremendous action in the world. But it's a source that actually nurtures rather than depletes us. It's not a question of believing this or not. All of these teachings are an invitation for you to investigate for yourself, to discover for yourself the truth of your mind.

So check out your concepts. At least make sure they're accurate!

Anger and ill can arises when we personalize impersonal situations.

Think of someone or something about which you have a strong emotion of aversion.

As the emotion rises see if you can make this distinction: this is a thought, it's not so-and-so

Aversion to pain and discomfort

Aversion is easy observe in relationship to physical pain and discomfort. After sitting some time, the body might start to feel uncomfortable.

Before you begin studying aversion, reflect on aversion in your life and practice.

Aversion, ill-will, anger, fear, irritation... How do these manifest? What is your relationship to them? Do they rule you, frighten you, empower you? Identify the triggers and your responses.

The Buddha said, "Hatred can never cease by hatred."

By meeting aversion with love, can you cut the cycle of escalating anger and change the momentum of painful situations?

Working with aversion As with the other hindrances, the most important step is recognition — being mindful that aversion has arisen. Without this awareness we get caught up and carried away by the powerful force of aversive energy.

Can you recognize what is going on? This is your task. When aversion is there, note it for as long as it remains. Keep noting it. Maybe it will take 10 notes, 20 notes, 30 notes. "Anger, anger, anger..." See how long it takes. By noting continually (and softly) you'll get a very direct, experiential understanding that it is impermanent. If you're not feeding it, if your mindful of it, it will eventually pass away..

Recall situations where you have personalized impersonal situations.

Do you take things personally and then suffer the aversion and ill will? How might you prevent this from occurring?

Are you practicing in order for something to happen?

Does your mindfulness have an agenda?

Aversion, a mind-state that often looms large in our lives, manifests in a variety of ways.

Feelings of anger, hatred, fear, sorrow, ill will, annoyance, irritation or a judging mind all arise when we come into contact with something that's unpleasant.

Reflections on anger I have certainly had my own experiences with anger.

Here are a few reflections that I found very helpful in the face of a continuing storm of anger that I got caught up in on one retreat.

Ill will is a broad category and it's not a term we commonly use.

How do you experience ill will? How does in manifest in you? Is it a hindrance to your peace of mind and stabiity?

Our concepts about experience often condition the experience itself, although we're not aware of it.

I thought I was being mindful of the energy block I experienced, but the concept of block already contains desire and aversion, something that shouldn't be there, something to be changed into something else. Even though I thought I was being mindful, it was mindfulness with an agenda and not true bare attention to what was happening.

Practice forgiveness.

If we can forgive those who have hurt us, it releases a great burden of unhappiness, namely the mind full of anger and hatred.

Responding with gentle speech

In this same sutta the Buddha also presents five kinds of speech, and this is something we can practice, right now.

What's your first reaction to pain?

Is it the same for discomfort?

It's important to keep the radar of your mind active, particularly if you are someone for whom aversion, anger, ill will or judgment are strong habitual reactions.

It takes an attentiveness, a watchfulness, to see them arising.

Generally, we don't like pain.

It's a rare person who when the pain comes says, "Oh good, a chance to explore pain." So when pain arises, we can begin to notice the strategies we use for dealing with it. It might be a kind of self-pity, or fear, or just plain dislike. On a more subtle level aversion works when we're opening to the pain, we're softening into it, but we're still interpreting it in certain ways.

Think of a person you have trouble with or something from the past that was unpleasant. Just bring the person or event to mind.

Notice how quickly it can trigger ill will. Purposely choose a charged situation and watch the aversion and ill will arise. It can (almost) be fun to do this, just to see the way aversion is conditioned in the mind.

Very often it's our inability to hold or be with uncomfortable emotions that gets projected out as ill will.

So when you're feeling such uncomfortable emotions, try taking a step back, becoming mindful of what's going on. You can ask yourself, "What am I feeling? Can I be with it?"

Letting go of self-righteousness

Sometimes around anger or ill will there is an associated feeling of being self righteous: we feel right, we feel justified in being angry. Often there is a feeling of power that engages us — the "honeyed tip." It takes a real willingness to let go of that attraction and step back and really see what is going on. If we're not mindful of the underlying feeling and we're just noting "Anger, anger, anger..." it will continue, because that feeling of being right is like a subterranean stream feeding the anger. Or it might be an associated feeling of hurt that fuels the anger. In both cases, when the hindrance of aversion persists, we may need to investigate a little deeper and see what lies underneath.

Transforming aversion with compassion and metta nother way of working with aversion is the cultivation of loving kindness and compassion.

That's the expression of compassion: "May you be free of suffering." 'May I be free of suffering." It transmutes the aversion into something quite wholesome.

Anger with its poisoned root and honeyed tip

The Buddha offered this wonderful description of anger that captures it's true nature. Although there is a certain delight we can have in the powerful energy of anger, the Buddha is reminding us of the unwholesome or unskillful root of this feeling.

The Buddhist attitude is to take care of anger. We don't suppress it. We don't run away from it. We just breathe and hold our anger in our arms with utmost tenderness. Becoming angry at your anger only doubles it and makes you suffer more.

The important thing is to bring out the awareness of your anger to protect and sponsor it. Then the anger is no longer alone, it is with your mindfulness. Anger is like a closed flower in the morning. As the bright sun shines on the flower, the flower will bloom because the sunlight penetrates deep into the flower. Mindfulness is like that. If you keep breathing and sponsoring your anger, mindfulness particles will infiltrate the anger. When sunshine penetrates a flower, the flower cannot resist. It is bound to open itself and reveal its heart to the sun. If you keep breathing on your anger, shining your compassion and understanding on it, your anger will soon crack and you will be able to look into its depths and see its roots.

You're getting angry at a thought.

The person isn't even there. Or the event hasn't even happened yet. (Except in your mind).

Who is suffering?

The question to ask yourself when aversion arises is, "Who is suffering?" When you are roiled by anger, regardless of what the situation is, who is it that is suffering? You are! So even the self-justification doesn't really save us. It makes more sense to let go of the hot coal and deal with the situation in a constructive way. Sometimes people are reluctant to let go of the anger, because they feel that they are letting go of a certain power for effective change. It often becomes our energy souce for social action the world.

Sometimes we are able to see how anger really does have a poisoned source - that it's really tapping into a basic motivation of ill will and even sometimes of wishing harm.

Unfortunately, when we tune into that aspect, we often also judge ourselves for having the anger. Or we condemn the anger itself, which is simply more aversion. The goal is not to express it and feed it and also not to condemn it, but simply to be mindful of the anger when it arises, feel the energy of it without getting lost in the story, and let it wash through.

Velcro mind When we become identified with aversive reactions, it's as if the mind has become like Velcro.

We become stuck in the anger or ill will, contracted in an unskillful, unpleasant state of mind. When you recognize this happening, notice how strong a sense of self is being created when you're identified with these reactions.

Aversion often arises in our minds around past experiences.

We've had some unpleasant, distressing experience in the past and then the mind starts thinking about it and gets angry or upset in one way or another.

Think of something or someone that brings up anger. Feel the anger arising in the mind;

What does it feel like? Is there some emotion underneath the anger that is unacknowledged? Are there feelings of self-righteousnessor hurt. What's underneath your anger?

Taking the mind seriously

What's striking in so many of these moments of aversion and ill will is that we're often simply reacting to a thought. We think of someone and get angry. The person is not there. All that's happening is that a thought or image is arising in the mind. But because we're not mindful - deeply mindful - when the thought or image arises, we get caught right away in awhole story. And the story we create then conditions very strong emotions.

Ill will is overcome by applying metta, loving kindness.

When it is ill will towards a person, metta teaches you to see more in that person than just that which hurts you, to understand why that person has acted the way they have. Greater understanding often allows us to put aside one's own pain and to look with compassion on the other. There are many inspiring stories of people in intolerable situations, for example, some of the imprisoned Tibetan monks, who transformed their fear or anger into compassion for their oppressors. When we don't immediately react to our emotions, or become totally caught up in them, it gives us a chance to see with greater wisdom and to put into practice our deepest understanding of what is for our own welfare and the welfare of others.

Of course, we also see aversion arise with difficult situations that are actually happening right now.

When something happens that we don't like, it's so easy to fall into a habituated pattern of anger or annoyance or irritation. The Dalai Lama has a wonderful teaching about this: "You should honor your enemies because they teach you patience." Although it is difficult to remember this in times of anger, this recollection can be a great aid for our mindfulness, investigation and patience.

Just as the untrained mind becomes entranced by pleasant feelings, we become dissatisfied with, angry at, or fearful of unpleasant ones.

When we're not mindful of unpleasant experiences — in the body, in the mind, or in our environment — aversion arises.

This is not to suggest a disengagement from the world, but that you create a space in which to see and hold things in a wider perspective.

With the power of mindfulness you can see aversion arise, be with it, and let it go. Then, from a balance of mind, you can take appropriate action, engage with an appropriate response.

The thought of a person to not the person.

Working with and understanding this one simple insight will save you a great amount of suffering. It's very simple: The thought of a person to not the person. It's a thought.

Aversion is transformed by interest.

You can't push away what's happening and take an interest in it at the same time.

It's interesting to discover the sometimes unacknowledged emotions that lie

beneath the anger or aversion and keep feeding it.

If aversion feels very stuck in the mind

for example, you keep noting it and yet the strong sense of being identified with the anger or ill will remains — then look to see if there is something feeding the aversion. Use the power of investigation to see if there's an associated feeling that has not been acknowledged.

Here the Buddha is making an absolute statement: regardless of what kind of speech you hear —

if it's gentle or it's harsh, if it's true or it's untrue, if it's motivated by loving-kindness or motivated by hate — your mind should remain unaffected, uttering no unskillful words, abiding compassionate for their welfare. While I was not able to do this completely when I was caught up in anger, this teaching gave me a reference point, reminding me that the anger in my mind was my responsibility. This reminder gave me the energy to keep working with it, rather than getting caught up in in cycles of blaming and judging others. And, yes, I had to do it again and again.

The thought of a person

is not the person.

It is like making a

line in the sand.

My suffering is relatively trivial Here's another reflection I used when I was fired up with anger toward someone:

mention these as a reminder that when big emotions arise, you can work with them. You do not have to be the victim of these mind-states. While it can be a challenge to find the place of freedom in the midst them, that's the path, that's our practice.

It is like planting the flag of the Dharma:

no matter what the situation, what is happening in our minds is our own responsibility. That's our training.

Even if bandits... In a quite radical discourse, the "Simile of the Saw,"

the Buddha says that even if someone is doing terrible things — sawing off your arms and legs — even then, no aversion should arise in the mind.

Mindfulness is the mirror-like quality of the mind, which simply knows what is present. In the context of meditation, there was tightness, pressure, pulling

those were the sensations that were present. If I had really been mindful, there simply would have been that mirror-like awareness knowing tightness, knowing pressure, knowing pulling, without any preference for one sensation rather than another. This is an example of how the concepts we use to understand our experience can often condition how we're relating to the experience.

When we anticipate ,

when we create a story and then we get upset about something that has not yet happened, aversion arises.

Sometimes when a state of annoyance, irritation, anger, ill will, or impatience arise and we're not mindfully working with it

when we're lost in it or identified with it — we can start projecting that feeling of aversion or annoyance or grumpiness on to the people around us. We find ourselves getting irritable with somebody who is actually quite innocent. It's just the projection of this feeling.

These are the words of Thich Nhat Hanh, the great Vietnamese meditation master and peace activist

who lived through the war in Vietnam and saw horrendous suffering. So he has really worked with these issues; this is not theoretical for him.

Reflect on a recent experience when you thought about an anticipated situation that had not yet happened yet aversion arose

you became upset, you were angry, your were afraid. Try it now — think about some difficult event or meeting that has not (and may not ever) happen, yet it occupies your mind and causes aversion.