Bertie

A father figure then. Someone safe to live with and travel with. Don't you dare go on a cruise with him. I head of a lady who wed a man she barely knew on a cruise, married by the captain mind you, and was never seen again.

A cruise? Shell... we only met this morning.

Yes, of course. I'll get it. Cream, sugar?

A little cream, thank you.

I feel as though I've been vetted by a hostile senate.

After you promised to bring what's his name to her opening, she no longer cared if you are an axe murderer, only that you are connected to the art world. Cheers!

Somewhat. I do enjoy feeding the rumor mill from time to time, although I'm perfectly harmless, I assure you.

And on that, I think I'll get into my grubbies fora romp in the garage

I didn't discard anything until you decide

As soon as I kick into high gear I'll go change and take a look. How well do you know this person that shellys so keen on coming to her opening?

"us" you were

Bertie was upstairs in his room and I, of course, was downstairs in my room. Call the police

*lights up*

Bertie! you frightened me to death!

Please... Bertie.

Bertie... You come with excellent references. let's give it a go, shall we. if either of us believes it isn't working, we can say so. is that acceptable.

I'm companionable

But I meant someone I could go to the theatre with, or shopping or the museums

Bertie Sullivan. I've come regarding your ad for room and board. I sent you a letter with an application and references.

But I thought you were...Oh

I am really concerned for you. There's something about that man. I can't put my finger on it.

But you'd like to, wouldn't you. You'd like to put both hands on him.

Oh. Well, I'm not going back there until it's daylight. It may have been the neighbor's cat. He's found a way to get inside. I've found him in the kitchen twice.

Did you look to see if it was the cat?

i;ll do it this week end i love tidying up and organizing things. this will be such fun.

Dinve?

Jon?....... but i usually get an invitation to one of his openings so he can gloat

Gloat?

Omelet's ready

Go! I know your game

Ah. Good morning

Good morning. Shelly left?

I just wanted his advice on placement. I've hired three movers who work for the gallery. The know how to transport art.

Good night, Shelly. Thank you for checking on me.

Whoever did, it was premature. And pushy

He has impeccable refferences

*Phone rings*

Hello? Well, you got home all right, did you? And what did you find burgled? Get out of here. He's a perfect gentleman. Right now we are heading for a romp in the garage. Goodbye... That did feel delicious.

Lights up

Hello?... Shelly... I was going to call you. i have the most wonderful news. Wait... I rented my spare room. to a.... are you ready for this? I rented to a man

You don't think that I... He's acting the part of the brother that women always want.

I don't want a brother

I did community theatre on the east coast. Love museums. Love shopping. Love interior decorating, fashion, musicals, music in general, all kinds, rap to the classics. But i'm most happy at home with a good book and Mozart.

I have your response to my ad, but I actually thought with your passion for the arts that you were...

Many of us aren't. Fortunately, I realized that about myself years ago. I'm not gay, mind you, but I adore my alone time.

I know what you mean. Well, mister sullivan.

Yes. I have her some coffee but she didn't want anything to eat.

I'm not surprised. You made her an omelet about two o'clock as I remember

Catch us?

Is there any more coffee?

I hope you will accept me as your roomer, miss jameson

Is's missus, i'm divorced.

And already he's moved in. Don't you think that's pushy, dear naive friend.

It was I who suggested that he move in. I Think I was the one who suggested it.

Female? I hope being male doesn't disqualify me. I've very handy around the house. I know plumbing, electrical, landscaping. I helped build several houses for college mates. Would it be okay if I came in?

Oh, forgive me. I was so surprised to see a man.

You are part of the team helping me

Oh. I was hoping to wear something spectacular and blend in with the opening night crowd.

Sorry

No need to be. i'm quite happy alone. I believe I wasn't meant to marry

Shall I help?

No, you convince my doubting friend here that you have no intentions of putting a knife in my heart when i'm asleep. Incidentally, I always keep my door locked in case you need something.

Save it. there's a lovely little Italian restaurant that i know that makes the most divine scallopini that holds up very well on takeaway. I'll be back by seven if that isn't too late to wait.

Not at all, i usually eat at the hour.

That's it? So was jack the ripper

O stop it. I'm going to bed

I moved things around in the garage. There's room for my car now, if that's acceptable

Of course

I think so. i'll try to behave. Speaking of behaving, you really believe that shelly came over last night to spy on us.

Of course she did. She was hoping we wouldn't answer the door for awhile, then once we did, we'd be disheveled or have our pjs buttoned wrong of some other embarrassment.

Did you check?

One. A former landlady. She said he was beautifully mannered.

Sullivan

Sullivan. I mean.... I was hoping for a companion

I'll pop over tomorrow with three invitations. I could use some help arranging the pieces at the art gallery if you're available

Shell.. they're frightfully heavy

I'm afraid there isn't one. I've managed to avoid that. Lead a very quiet life actually

Shell... sit down. I'll get some can-a-pays

I'm terribly sorry, but I heard something

So did I

You have a very nice house.

Thank you. Please sit down. I don't think it will work mister...

I told her I'd go with her to look through the apartment to see if there was any sign of a robbery.

There was no robbery. Trust me. She wanted to catch us.

I'm only concerned about...

Turn off the lights when you leave.

No, I thought it best to get out of there in case it wasn't the cat.

Wait here. I'll make up the sofa for you.

Marcia, it's shelly

Wait... Shelly Browne what are you doing here in the middle of the night in your nightie?

An two drinks. I hope she got home all right

We'd have heard. I've become her next of kin.

That he has another opening.... I should write to him and give him my new address

Well, it looks like we're stuck going to the opening

Well, of course. Any friend of Jon Cummins

What about me? A friend of a friend

What for?

What for? Your house is being burgled.

See you there about nine o'clock

Who are you talking to?

I wish I'd known that's what she was looking for.

Why?

Jon! I rang the last number I have for him and he was there. He's promised to be at the opeing.

Wonderful! Shelly will be thrilled.

Very nice arrangement, I'd say. I'd be happy to cook when you feel like it. A nice hot meal when you come home. I'm known for my beef bourguignon and chicken crepes, if either of those appeal to you.

Yes, of course. We can talk about it. The rent and board is $350 a week, but I can make an adjustment on the meals. it sound as though you will be on your own, which is actually a great relief to me. I confess that I don't like thinking of what to make for dinner or for that matter grocery shopping or cooking after a long day. You have your own room and bath. There's a television in your room and, of course, kitchen privileges.

Mrs. Jameson?

Yes?

I would have obliged... with my buttons

You are a scoundrel, aren't you

Well, I should be going. Call me if you... or just call me

You give Bertie your stamp of approval?

Yes. Female. If you have any concern about me, I'm very tidy. I do my own laundry, cook, work five days a week for a publishing house in town, and enjoy long walks and reading on weekends. If you're looking for someone to, as the kinds say, hang with, i'm certainly up for that as well.

You offer an interesting option, Mister Sullivan. You said you cook. The room and board provides breakfast and lunch or dinner on week-ends, but I work in town and i'm frequently late to provide dinner. I eat out most nights.

is something wrong? you shack up with a man you met this afternoon, someone you don't know at all, and he's sleeping over

he's rooming in my house. a paying guest. there is a difference

delighted. did i put on my application that martinis are a love

i think i read something of the sort. do you perfer stirred or shaken

wonderful. it just keeps getting better and better. be right back. you might put the scallopini in a warming oven or on a low heat

i will. fresh towels in the bathroom and a linen closent in the hall

what are his reference?

impeccable

Here I am, warts and all

let me help you

but you don't know him

let me introduce you. shelly browns this is bertie sullivan. berti, shelly browne a dear friend. sit down shell and tell us why your're here

i'm here, dear child and you are a child because you can't just accept a stranger into your home. sleeping in your home, that you haven't the foggiest idea about. where does he come from?

maine, now boston

marvelous

martini?

of course. forgive my manners

shell... what are you doing here? is something wrong?

i prefer whatever i'm offered. shaken seems best at the moment. Shelly: are you all right? i've been frantic that i didn't stop you

stop me from what? come in and meet bertie

when does he move it?

tonight

Perfectly. i'd like to pop on home and pack up if you agree. i'll be back in two hours, may i bring dinner?

well, i had some meatloaf I was going to thaw.

you checked?

well...

What? you fox you. what will the neighbors say?

who cares. he's older. about fifty i think. very nice looking, well mannered, dresses impeccably. i'd say he was gay, but he says not.

I am so very happy we're going to be companions. it feels like home already

you can park your car in the driveway for now. i have to move some things in the second garage before it's available

you might take this to the kitchen

you room is at the top of the stairs to the right. next to the library. feel free to help yourself to any book you like