BUS 322 FINAL

Notice we said "It sounds like . . ." and not "I'm hearing that . . ." That's because the word. Why?

"I" gets people's guard up

If you're trying to sell something, don't start with "Do you have a few minutes to talk?" Instead ask,

"Is now a bad time to talk?" Either you get "Yes, it is a bad time" followed by a good time or a request to go away, or you get "No, it's not" and total focus.

_______ protects and benefits all parties in exchange

"NO"

"no" has a lot of skills

"No" allows the real issues to be brought forth; "No" protects people from making—and lets them correct—ineffective decisions; "No" slows things down so that people can freely embrace their decisions and the agreements they enter into; "No" helps people feel safe, secure, emotionally comfortable, and in control of their decisions; and "No" moves everyone's efforts forward.

The intention behind mirroring should be

"Please, help me understand."

label it

"What about this doesn't work for you?" "What would you need to make it work?" "It seems like there's something here that bothers you".

the building blocks to a good summary are

- a label combined with paraphrasing, identify, rearticulate, and emotionally affirm the world according to...

in the lecture, we discussed 4 types of dispute resolution. Please list the 4 types and then list which one is the cheapest in terms of process (not necessarily outcome)

1. litigation 2. 3. 4.

Five Stages of BCSM to take a negotiator from listening to influencing behavior:

Active Listening Empathy Rapport Influence Behavioral Change

Active Listening Arsenal:

Effective Pauses - silence is powerful Minimal Encourager - Yes, Ok, Un-huh, I see Mirroring - repeat back Labeling - give feelings a name Paraphrase - repeat back to show understanding Summarize - (paraphrasing + labelling = summary). Show we really understand. Goal is to get "That's Right". They assessed, understand, and proceed - gain trust!

No can often mean:

I am not ready to agree you are making me feel uncomfortable i do not understand i dont think i can afford it i want something else i need more information i want to talk it over with someone

the meaning of "No"

I am not yet ready to agree You are making me feel uncomfortable I do not understand I don't think I can afford it I want something else I need more information I want to talk it over with someone else

_____ is the start of a negotiation, not the end

NO

great negotiators seek ________ because they know that is often when real negotiations begin

NO

who is one of the great practitioners of these skills.

Oprah

TRUE OR FALSE Before you convince your counterpart to see what you're trying to accomplish, you have to say the things to them that will get them to say, "That's right."

TRUE

true or false NEVER SPLIT THE DIFFERENCE

TRUE

No's are actually the gateways to

YES

______ is the final step, but don't aim for it at the start

YES

no deal is better than

a bad deal

one crucial aspect of any negotiation is to figure out how your

adversary arrived at his position

if the other party won't say "No," you're dealing with people who

are indecisive or confused or who have a hidden agenda.

reaching "thats right " in a negotiation creates

breakthroughs

How do you force no?

by forcing them to answer what they don't want! "so it seems your eager to quit your job"

what are the three kinds of yes?

counterfeit conformation commitment

Real change can occur when we accept the

counterparty as is

can label be a statement or question?

either!

true or false in mediation unless the parties agree otherwise, the parties are always bound to the outcome and finding of the mediator and any person may place the finding in a court of law for enforcement

false

true/ false the difference between sympathy and empathy is that empathy is agreement with the other side

false

true/false neural resonance deteriorates with better communication

false

true or false Another way to force "No" in a negotiation is to ask the other party what they do want.

false, what they DONT want

true or false pushing for a hard yes gets you closer to a win

false; Pushing hard for "Yes" doesn't get a negotiator any closer to a win; it just angers the other side.

true or false negative feelings should be ignored

fasle

"thats right" creates a realization point with adversary where he actually agreed on a point without the feeling of

having given in

good negotiators __________ and __________ emotions. They can precisely label those of others, and their own

identify and influence

describe "labeling" per the text

identifying the feelings and labeling those feelings by influencing and observing them, "it seems, it sounds, it looks". Never use "I" when labeling. Labeling validates those feelings while using "I" makes it seems like it is focused on you not them

the win win mindset pushed by so many negotiation experts is usually

innefective and disastrous

labeling

is a way of validating someone's emotion by acknowledging it. Give someone's emotion a name and you show you identify with how that person feels.

a confirmation yes

is generally innocent, a reflexive response to a black-or-white question; it's sometimes used to lay a trap but mostly it's just simple affirmation with no promise of action.

counterfeit yes

is one in which your counterpart plans on saying "no" but either feels "yes" is an easier escape route or just wants to keep the conversation going to get more information or some other kind of edge.

a commitment yes

is the real deal; it's a true agreement that leads to action, a "yes" at the table that ends with a signature on the contract. The commitment "yes" is what you want, but the three types sound almost the same so you have to learn how to recognize which one is being used.

what is the first step of doing an accusation audit

listing every terrible thing your counterpart could say about you, in what I call an accusation audit.

what does one sentence email make the other side do?

makes them reply immediately and disagree. "have you given up on this project?"

the cheapest of the 4 from a process perspective

neg...

Great negotiators seek "_______" because that is when real negotiations begin.

no

Only when you land on "________", can you actually negotiate to "Yes".

no

No, used strategically, is an answer that opens the

path foward

empathy

paying attention to another human being, asking what they are feeling, and making a commitment to understanding their world

Politely saying no, calmly hearing no, and just letting the other side know that they are welcome to say no has a __________ impact on any negotiation. It brings barriers down and allows for beneficial communication

positive

Saying "No" makes the speaker feel

safe, secure, and control

describe an "accusation audit" per the text

saying all of the negative things about your case first so that it is more likely they will say yes and agree with you at the end because it wont seem bad to them.

The last rule of labeling is

silence

use a ______ to trigger a "thats right"

summary

labeling is a ______, not a strategy

tactic

"No" is often a decision frequently ____________, to maintain status quo.

temporary

splitting the difference can lead to

terrible outcomes

_______ leads to the best outcomes

thats right

The two sweetest words in any negotiation are

thats right!

creating unconditional positive regard opens

the door to changing thoughts and behaviros

Though the intensity may differ from person to person, you can be sure that everyone you meet is driven by two primal urges:

the need to feel safe and secure the need to feel in control If you satisfy those drives, you're in the door.

Using all your skills to create rapport, agreement, and connection with a counterpart is useful, but ultimately that connection is useless unless

the other person feels that they are equally as responsible, if not solely responsible, for creating the connection and the new ideas they have.

Persuade their perspective. But how?

their basic wants and needs

true or false thats right is better than yes

true

true or false Labeling is a helpful tactic in de-escalating angry confrontations, because it makes the person acknowledge their feelings rather than continuing to act out.

true

true or false One crucial aspect of any negotiation is to figure out how your adversary arrives at his position.

true

true or false Sometimes the only way to get your counterpart to listen and engage with you is by forcing them into a "No." That means intentionally mislabeling one of their emotions or desires or asking a ridiculous question—like, "It seems like you want this project to fail"—that can only be answered negatively

true

true or false "Is now a bad time to talk?" is always better than "Do you have a few minutes to talk?"

true

true or false "No" can be much easier then "Yes', until the path is defined.

true

true or false "That's right" is better than "yes." Strive for it. Reaching "that's right" in a negotiation creates breakthroughs.

true

true or false If a potential business partner is ignoring you, contact them with a clear and concise "No"-oriented question that suggests that you are ready to walk away. "Have you given up on this project?" works wonders.

true

true or false People have a need to say, "No." So don't just hope to hear it at some point; get them to say it early.

true

true or false Whether you call it "buy-in" or "engagement" or something else, good negotiators know that their job is to gently guide their counterpart to discover their goal as his own.

true

true or false angry is rarely productive

true

true or false as negotiators, mirroring focuses on words, and nothing else. Not body language, and not the accent

true

true or false deadlines are often arbitrary, almost always flexible, and hardley ever trigger the consequences we thing- or are told they will

true

true or false every "no" gets me closer to a yes - mark cuban

true

true or false having a deadline pushes you to speed up your consessions, but the other side, thinking that it has time, will just hold out for more

true

true or false hearing "your right" is a disaster

true

true or false peoples emotions have two levels: first the "presenting" behavior which is the part above the surface you can see and hear, and beneath the "underlying" feeling is that element that motivates the behavior

true

true or false the "thats right" breakthrough usually doesnt come at the beginning of the negotiation. its invisible to the counterpart when it occurs, and they embrace what youve said

true

true/false the disputes within contracts are usually the result of ambiguity in the wording

true

true or false negotiation is never a linear formula : add x to u to get z

true; we all have irrational blind spots, hidden needs and undeveloped notions

The origins of the Behavioral Change Stairway Model is within the concept of

unconditional positive regard

tactical empathy

understanding the feelings and mindset of another in the moment and also hearing what is behind those feelings so you increase your influence in all the moments that follow. It's bringing our attention to both the emotional obstacles and the potential pathways to getting an agreement done.

hidden deadlines puts the negotiation in the ______ possible position

worst

is time one of the most crucial variables in any negotiation?

yes

Should you ask solution based questions like "what about this doesnt work for you?" "What would you need to make it work?" "It seems like there's something here that bothers you."

yes you should

no deal is better than a bad deal even in kidnapping?

yes. a bad deal in kidnapping is where someone pays and no one comes out

why is hearing "your right"a disaster

you just use it to quit bothering you

Once you've spotted an emotion you want to highlight, the next step is to label it aloud. Labels can be phrased as statements or questions. The only difference is whether you end the sentence with a downward or upward inflection. But no matter how they end, labels almost always begin with roughly the same words:

It seems like . . . It sounds like . . . It looks like . . .

how to disagree without being disagreeable

It's just four simple steps: 1. Use the late-night FM DJ voice. 2. Start with I'm sorry . . . 3. Mirror. 4. Silence. At least four seconds, to let the mirror work its magic on your counterpart. 5. Repeat