Ch. 13 Parents by Adoption and ART
Searching for Birth Parents
-Girls more interested and preoccupied with searching. -Increases closeness with adoptive parents -Only 16% report decline in relationship with adoptive parents.
4 Myths of Adoption
1. Open Adoption is too confusing 2. Adopted Children are loved less 3. Adopted Children are more troubled 4. If they know, they will reject (adoptive parents)
Adoption by race (percents):
38% African American 35% White 15% Latino 2% Native American 1% Asian/Pacific Islander
Family Structure of adopted children (percents):
66% married couple 31% single female 2% single male 1% unmarried couple
Who can adopt?
ANYONE! Older, single, gay or lesbian, disabled, or poor people are now approved for adoption.
4 Patterns of Communication in Adoptive Families
Consensual pattern Pluralistic pattern Protective pattern Laissez faire
Pluralistic Pattern
Cool and distant. Spoke about their thoughts and feelings, but did little to persuade others to adopt their standards of behavior.
Once adoptive children are reunited with birth parents...
Decreased feelings of rejection. -50% considered parent a friend/relative. -33% saw them as a parent -18% remained distant
History and Changes in Nature of Adoption
Historically, adopted children were the off spring of single women. In the last 4 decades, fewer babies were available for adoption because abortions DECREASED births to single women and INCREASES in social acceptability enabled more single women to keep their babies.
Laissez Faire
Nobody in the family spoke or listened to tried to influence each other so there was neither conversation nor pressure to agree to family standards.
Consensual Pattern
Parents and children were warm and open, expressing their views and listening to others
Protective Pattern
Parents did NOT encourage open expression of views but insisted children meet their standard and do what parents considered appropriate.
Recommendations for telling children about Donors
Reading books to young children about the many ways are formed gives children some understanding of the basic concepts. -Being open, honest and comfortable will help the process.
Open Adoption
The birth mother selects the adopting parents and maintains ongoing contact with the child and the family (pg.410).
Talking about Adoption
The general advice is to tell children they are adopted sometime in the toddler and preschool years. However, it is not something you explain once or twice when the child is young and then forget about (pg. 414).
China, Russia, South Korea, Guatemala, Romania
Top 5 countries of adopted children's origins
Transracial Adoption
When adoptive parents look outside of their ethnic groups for children to rear (pg.410). It is illegal to use race as an obstacle to adoption. 1948 1st recorded transracial adoption of an African American child by Caucasian Parents Legislation in 1990
International Adoption
When parents adopt children from other countries, they must meet all criteria for adoption in that country AS WELL AS those of the state in which they live.
When ART (Assisted Reproductive Technology) was initiated...
parents where encourage NOT to tell children because of possible negative social reactions. Over time, professional opinion has changed.
The Ethics Committee of the American Society for Reproductive Medicine STRONGLY recommends...
that prior to donations, donors and receiving parents get counseling and agree on the release of donor information to the child.
Children's Understanding: 7-11 years old
Children begin to think about adoption in new ways. They understand that adoption is not the usual way families grow. They begin to wonder about birth parents and why they gave them up for adoption.
By age 6
Children can understand that there are two paths to parenthood- birth and adoption- and they understand that adoption makes the child a permanent member of the family.
Children's Understanding: Toddler and Preschool years
Children focus on the happy experiences of adoption- parents having children they want and children coming to live with people who love them.
Percentage of children in U.S. adopted
Approximately 2-4%
Providing Appropriate Cultural Socialization for Children
As occurs with domestic transracial adoptions, children's adjustment is eased when parents form a new family ethnic identity.
Guidelines for telling children (about ART)...
are similar to those telling children about adoption. Parents must feel comfortable with the facts before talking to children. They then should explain them in simplest terms early in children's lives if possible so they will grow up hearing about it.
