COM 220 Final

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Favorite child

-Mothers → first born sons, fathers → last born daughters, or the one most like them

Stages of friendship

-Role-limited interaction -Friendly relations -Moving toward friendship -Nascent friendship -Stabilized friendship -Waning friendship

External functions of family

-Transmission of cultural values -Accommodation to cultural change

Why do people stay in committed relationships?

-comfortable & pleasing -avoid negative consequences

life style of a family

-establishing -enlarging -developing -encouraging independence -launching children -postlaunching of children -retirement

What is Bracketing?

-noting an important issue that comes up in the course of discussing other matters and agreeing to discuss it at a later time -good

Relationships with roommate

-spring from small, irritating differences -how to handle conflict: •Ask permission before giving criticism •Describe behavior and its consequences by recounting •Preface with an affirming statement •When appropriate, suggest how the behavior can change

What is Kitchen Sinking?

-when you are unhappy about one thing and then decide to bring up all the other things you are unhappy about -bad

Dunbar's magic # of friends

150

Average # of close friends

2

Friendships throughout your life

3-6 Momentary physicalistic playmates 6-9 Opportunity and activity 9-12 Consensual validation

Relational culture

A private world of rules, understandings, and patterns of acting and interpreting that partners create to give meaning to their relationship; the nucleus of intimacy

Friends with benefits

Sexual activity between friends with no expectation of romance or emotional attachment

Unproductive Conflict Communication

The Early Stages -Fails to confirm -Cross-complaining The Middle Stages -Kitchen-sinking The Later Stages -Counter-proposals -Metacommunication -Poor listening -Defensive, negative climate

Constructive Conflict Communication

The Early Stages -acknowledge other's concerns and feelings -supportive climate The Middle Stages -agenda building -bracketing -clarify and check perceptions The Later Stages -contracting not countering

When does ones # of friends decrease?

after marriage

Ethnocentrism

belief in the superiority of one's own ethnic group

Storge love

comfortable

4 Horseman

criticism, contempt, defensiveness, stonewalling

Friend of the heart

friends who remain close despite distance or time

Families through the ages

godly family: moral instruction democratic family: work moved outside home compassionate family: celebrated personality

Stages in romantic relationships

growth, navigation, deterioration

surface acting

hiding one's inner feelings and forgoing emotional expressions in response to display rules

passive aggression

indirect expression of aggression, delivered in a way that allows the sender to maintain a façade of kindness

What is commitment in a relationship?

intent to remain

evaluative language

language that conveys the sender's attitude rather than simply offering an objective description

Orientations to conflict

lose-lose, win-lose, win-win

Mania love

manic and obsessive

Ludus love

playful

Eros love

powerful, passionate

Pragma love

practical

Secondary types of love

pragma, mania, agape

Internal functions of family

providing care, socialization, intellectual development, recreation, emotional support

Friend of the road

temporary friendships

emotional intelligence

the ability to perceive, understand, manage, and use emotions

deep acting

trying to modify one's true inner feelings based on display rules

Agape love

unconditional and selfless

descriptive language

using details that help to understand exactly what they would see, taste, touch/feel, hear, or smell if they were experiencing that moment

Responses to conflict

•The Exit Response •The Loyalty Response •The Neglect Response •The Voice Response

ways to communicate with roommate (you want them to go w you)

○ Aggressive → you better be there ○ Deferential → if you wouldn't mind I'd like to go over some things ○ Assertive → Let's get together sometime this week and study. You pick the time

relational dialectics

a perspective that views interpersonal relationships as constantly changing rather than stable and that revolves around how relational partners manage tensions

Love languages

Words of Affirmation Quality Time Receiving Gifts Acts of Service Physical Touch

3 Primary styles of love

eros, ludus, storge

Chilling effect

when we suppress complaints and expressions of dissatisfaction or anger from someone we perceive as more powerful than us, because we fear they could punish us


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