COM 220 Final
Favorite child
-Mothers → first born sons, fathers → last born daughters, or the one most like them
Stages of friendship
-Role-limited interaction -Friendly relations -Moving toward friendship -Nascent friendship -Stabilized friendship -Waning friendship
External functions of family
-Transmission of cultural values -Accommodation to cultural change
Why do people stay in committed relationships?
-comfortable & pleasing -avoid negative consequences
life style of a family
-establishing -enlarging -developing -encouraging independence -launching children -postlaunching of children -retirement
What is Bracketing?
-noting an important issue that comes up in the course of discussing other matters and agreeing to discuss it at a later time -good
Relationships with roommate
-spring from small, irritating differences -how to handle conflict: •Ask permission before giving criticism •Describe behavior and its consequences by recounting •Preface with an affirming statement •When appropriate, suggest how the behavior can change
What is Kitchen Sinking?
-when you are unhappy about one thing and then decide to bring up all the other things you are unhappy about -bad
Dunbar's magic # of friends
150
Average # of close friends
2
Friendships throughout your life
3-6 Momentary physicalistic playmates 6-9 Opportunity and activity 9-12 Consensual validation
Relational culture
A private world of rules, understandings, and patterns of acting and interpreting that partners create to give meaning to their relationship; the nucleus of intimacy
Friends with benefits
Sexual activity between friends with no expectation of romance or emotional attachment
Unproductive Conflict Communication
The Early Stages -Fails to confirm -Cross-complaining The Middle Stages -Kitchen-sinking The Later Stages -Counter-proposals -Metacommunication -Poor listening -Defensive, negative climate
Constructive Conflict Communication
The Early Stages -acknowledge other's concerns and feelings -supportive climate The Middle Stages -agenda building -bracketing -clarify and check perceptions The Later Stages -contracting not countering
When does ones # of friends decrease?
after marriage
Ethnocentrism
belief in the superiority of one's own ethnic group
Storge love
comfortable
4 Horseman
criticism, contempt, defensiveness, stonewalling
Friend of the heart
friends who remain close despite distance or time
Families through the ages
godly family: moral instruction democratic family: work moved outside home compassionate family: celebrated personality
Stages in romantic relationships
growth, navigation, deterioration
surface acting
hiding one's inner feelings and forgoing emotional expressions in response to display rules
passive aggression
indirect expression of aggression, delivered in a way that allows the sender to maintain a façade of kindness
What is commitment in a relationship?
intent to remain
evaluative language
language that conveys the sender's attitude rather than simply offering an objective description
Orientations to conflict
lose-lose, win-lose, win-win
Mania love
manic and obsessive
Ludus love
playful
Eros love
powerful, passionate
Pragma love
practical
Secondary types of love
pragma, mania, agape
Internal functions of family
providing care, socialization, intellectual development, recreation, emotional support
Friend of the road
temporary friendships
emotional intelligence
the ability to perceive, understand, manage, and use emotions
deep acting
trying to modify one's true inner feelings based on display rules
Agape love
unconditional and selfless
descriptive language
using details that help to understand exactly what they would see, taste, touch/feel, hear, or smell if they were experiencing that moment
Responses to conflict
•The Exit Response •The Loyalty Response •The Neglect Response •The Voice Response
ways to communicate with roommate (you want them to go w you)
○ Aggressive → you better be there ○ Deferential → if you wouldn't mind I'd like to go over some things ○ Assertive → Let's get together sometime this week and study. You pick the time
relational dialectics
a perspective that views interpersonal relationships as constantly changing rather than stable and that revolves around how relational partners manage tensions
Love languages
Words of Affirmation Quality Time Receiving Gifts Acts of Service Physical Touch
3 Primary styles of love
eros, ludus, storge
Chilling effect
when we suppress complaints and expressions of dissatisfaction or anger from someone we perceive as more powerful than us, because we fear they could punish us